as hard as this is going to be, i have to do it cos u guys deserve it.. so just bear with me n dun get all weepy pls :P and in no particular order ok. :)

c : thank u for being the great older sis that u r to me n the rest of us, i know we're really capable of driving u crazy half the time but yet u're always still nice to us :) thank u for allowing us to so often crash ur hase even tho u sometimes have crazy work hrs, n yet u still find ways to spend time with us. n u read me like a book literally sometimes its real freaky but thank u for always being thr, to listen, to make sure i'm doing ok, make sure i dun forget impt things. helping me learn n grow in many ways. i'll miss having u to fuss over me all the time but i guess u still can thanks to technology :P and thank u for always pushing me to achieve more than i think i can. :) i love u!

ern : haha. six yrs of knowing u, but u're always the same old goofy person, forever cracking jokes and making me laugh non stop. u're still as silly as ever. thank u for always making me laugh. its impossible not to laugh at ur silly antics n uber lameness even when i'm feeling down. thank u for always cheering me up and picking me up all the time. it wouldnt be the same without u. for starters i think we would all be maybe less crazy cos ur craziness nv fails to rub off on us all. hee. and u need to start working or else u'll be a round old man soon! heh. i'll miss u tons.

dage : thank u for being the super supportive big bro that u are, for being at possibly all my comps n every other possible thing that u can be at. and of cos for being my fellow milo addict. it just might really be a swimmer thing eh?? :P u're such a huge softie and u're always spoiling me in a million and one ways that i'm going to miss that so so so much when i'm halfway across the world. thank u for always being thr to send me ard, knock sense into me at time. n even just to "bully" me. thank u for always believing in me and helping me to excel in ways i couldnt dream of. i will definately also miss all the sweet things that u do for sanjie n the rest of us. u r indeed a really amazing guy u know. for all the lil things u would do n the effort u put in to do something that would make anyone of us happy. thank for all the times u've stood up for me n the rest of us cos u care. it really means a lot to me n i'm sure it means the world to the others too. :)

sanjie : u know i'm gonna miss u.. n all ur naggings. n all the buggings. ur craziness. i'll miss learning how to gym for u n sanny! hee. all the tumblling n rolling.. and no matter how much u deny u're a nerd, u're still probably the nerdist among us all :) thank u for always just being thr n looking out for me, after so many lunches with u, it kinda feels strange to not have lunch with u ): n u're stronger than u think u are, a lot stronger. u dun quite know it sometimes, but u're a huge softie just like dage :) its easy to win u over lah.. heehee. i'll miss rubbing energy off u cos u're always so bouncy. i'll miss u and all the good times we've had so.. come visit me sometime kay! :)

sanny: boo u.. u're still 6 hrs away!! ): but ok fine.. u're closer to me than anyone else cos they're all like on the other side of the world.. u do know u're a pretty good nerd urself too eh?? heh. i hope u're having fun in sch alr.. n not suffering too much under ur workload yet.. now i've got no one to run ard with me n doing stupid stuff when we're bored.. ): n i miss having u do my drips!! haha. but fine. i promise i'll be good so u can go study n stop worrying that i'm doing to do something insane :P thank u for always ganging up with me n scaring the wits out of sanjie. :) its alwyas tons n tons of fun. i miss u alr.. ): we'll do our crazy webcam thingy soon ok!! when we get the timezone thing figured out :D hee.

kl : another one that's closer to me than any others.. i hope u're having fun in sch alr.. or so i heard u have been.. heh. u're always so quiet n unassuming, n funny in so many innocent ways.. n u are as crazy as the other guys. soemtimes worse which is obviously wat ppl wouldnt expect but u're a great big bro! n u n dage r too nice sometimes.. but that's y we love u :) take good care of sanny ok.. n stay fun always. dun study too hard. :D

erjie : i miss u terribly!!!!!! n u're so super duper uber far away!! ): *sobs* but thank u for coming back for a couple of months.. it was really fun to be with u n godpa n godma.. :) n pls be less stress.. hee. u're a great designer n u always come up with awesome awesome stuff so u really need to quite worrying n just trust that u do good work. i'm sure the others will agree too.. take care of urself ok?? i'm sure u're happy that m's going over soon so u'll be great i'm sure.. let me see ur new funky designs sometime ok?? love u :D

m : yay!! u're going to aussie soon!! i bet u're excited eh :) take good care of erjie ok. and enjoy ur time thr. stay as crazy as u always are. dun do wat ern teaches u or u'll scare everyone away! haha. catch u soon yeah! u're the it guru :) n i think u need to teach me how to get skype into my other laptop again. ahahaha.

dajie : ahhhh! no one to bug me n bully me anymore.. hee. i'm going to miss u lah.. no one to be retarded with me anymore. and pls make sure u get up when u say u wanna get up to run okie!! drag lu along. :D eh sometime soon we webcam ok.. when i get everything figured out. sigh.. i miss our stayovers xia. next time we all go back. do wii fit n ddr again ok.. n i miss ur japanese salmon sashimi thingy! ): thr's like no jap food here!! ): ): ): oh btw. let me know if u want some chocs or something i'll post ok! :D love u!

lu: hello mr aussie. so u're probably back in melbourne now.. and u! stop corrupting my bff luh.. annoying. :P haha. i'm gonna miss all ur nonsense a lot !! so send some over to me via vids soon ok! heh. retarded lah. and the next time we meet we really should race again. fly ok!! :D heh. so keep training yeah! u should get something in ur mailbox sometime soon!! take care! and i relaly hope we get to match our timezones soon!! :)

sijie & erge : omg! i'm so gald i got to catch u guys before i left.. i really hope everything's going great so take care n i'll skype u guys soon! :D :D :D





ok. n as of now.. bye bye blogspot. i think i'm sticking to lj :D

i dunno wat to do

dage faster come back plssssss ):

sanny n kl r my new docs!!! hehehehehehehe. they're really good at doing iv's. i think can go back tell ur lecturers u pass alr lah! :) n plus the way they do it is quite painless. v good. hahaha. :D

doing 30 "laps" of biathlon was pretty fun.

dage i wished u were here!! first time i race n u not ard feels so strange! ): i miss u!!! ): ): ): oh n sry i didnt answer ur call. didnt notice when it ring.. call wrong time lah u.. hahaha.


ok. time to crash :P

nag nag nag nag nag.... heehee..

eh next time morning do triathlon ok?? :) more fun. :D

stupid fever. i hate u.

tmrw thr will be lots of fooooood! yay :D

dajie did this.. i thot i would be fun to do too :D


Rules:
Go to www.urbandictionary.com and type in your answers to the following questions.
Post a definition it gives you.
Tag 15 people.

1. Your name?
Esther

DEFINITION:
a) The most beautiful, artistic,kind,loving, drunk mongolian princess in the land

[mongolian princess?! wat the heck?! almost everything else seems rather accurate/possible]

b) pretty much amazing person ; extremely common names for FOBs and krns; nancy's best friend ;pretty much pro status at life ; hot piece of ass

[ok wat's with the hot ass thing?!]

2) Your age?
18

DEFINITION:
a) The age where an American can:
1. Legally buy pornography
2. Legally buy cigarettes
3. Legally gamble in Indian Casinos
4. Legally be concidered an adult
5. Be tried as an adult in a court of law
6. Be drafted for a war they don't believe in
... but still cannot buy alcohol.

[ahahahahaha! this is retarded!but its true! they're so strict with the alcohol thing.]

b) Eighteen as in the number 18. before 19, after 17

[like duh??? ]

3) One of your friends?
Brayden (shhhhh. still counts ok. :D )

DEFINITION:
a) He hottest guy in the world...And he is perfect and he will never know how important I am in his life...

[hmmm.. the first part.. maybe. (cannot be too ego ok!) second part. perfect in his own ways. n third part. totally disagree!!!!! :D ]

b)Can also be known as Killer W is:
1. 9 out of 10 times right when regarding TV shows.
2. So tall and lanky that you cant see him when he stands sideways.
3. Absolutely hilarious that all the guys are jealous.
4. A total spunk rat that he is attractive to every chick in the room and at least two men.
5. Coolest guy ever, everyone strives to be like him.

[who's killer w?? point 1 & 3& 4& 5 is absolutely right! :D 2... nah! i can still c him ok! he's not a stick :/ ahahaha.u do make guys jealous :p]

4) What should you be doing?
sleeping. hahahahaha. forever. nv slping when i'm suppose to :D

DEFINITION:
a) to masturbate furiously in your room while praying your Grandma doesn't come in

[wtf?!]

b)a mystical kind of magic which sends u to an alternate plane of existence in which the magical gremlins give u pro plus

[sounds so dreamy alr]

c) something you'll never get enough of once you hit the age of 15

[how true.. maybe even earlier. ahahahaha. ]

5) Favorite color?
Orange :)

DEFINITION:
a) the colour which vain assholes turn after a session in the tanning salon; often confused with hepatitis

[ahahaha! how true. sick disgusting fake tans. ]

b) Noun:
1. A bold color, a cross between yellow and red.
2. A spherical citrus fruit of this color.

Adjective:
1. of or relating to the color orange
2. of or relating to the flavor of the orange fruit.

Random:
1. A word you'll never see at the end of a line of a rhyming poem.
2. Punchline of a grade school knock-knock joke.

The plural form is "oranges," which is also a sweet poem about a first date by the author Gary Soto. Orange soda doesn't taste like oranges, but at least it's the right color.


c) rhymes with door hinge

[wat?!]

6) Birthplace?
Singapore.

DEFINITION:
a) 5 types of climate: hot, very hot, damn its freakin' hot, wow look roast human char siew all over the streets!, otherwise.
[human charsiew?! ahahaha. i can just imagine.]

b) Indonesian President: Little red dot
Taiwan Minister: Booger
Americans and all other Caucasians: Somewhere In China
Malaysians: How do i get my citizenship?

[interesting n rather true :D ]

c) A country that allows prostitution but doesn't allow oral sex. Now that's fucked up.

d) Singapore was a group of tribal women who are notoriously capable of using all your life savings in less than a minute. Singaporeans are women who feeds on gossips and jealously to evolve. What they have, others cannot have better. What they want to have, cannot be the same with what a rival has. What they want, they must all want it first and more.

[ahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahaha!!!! ]

7) Month of your birth?
november

DEFINITION:
a) the month in which most babies are born, and which by chance, is exactly 9 months after February.

b) the best month of the year! snow! getting ready for christmas! celebrating thanksgiving, and having thanksgiving break!

[yeah!!!!! snow snow snow! :D turkey and ham!!! :D ]

8) Last person you talked to?
peace

DEFINITION:
a) something that George W Bush lacks and uses as an excuse for war

[hahaha!]

b) a parting phrase, in good manner.

9) One of your nicknames?
kiddo (some others had weird/too gross definitions)

DEFINITION:
a) Someone who is at least slightly younger then you in age, but so aptly intellectual as to have the best of both worlds; brains and purely cute facial characteristics combined with childish noises that cause her companion to smile with delight.

[hmmmmmmm]

b) a friend ; a buddy

[i like this :D ]


yay!! done done! haha. this whole thing is quite hilarious.

dear dajie,erjie,sanjie,sanny..

i have no words left tosay except that i'm really really sry. i shouldnt have taken it out on u guys n for that i'm truly sry.being in a lousy mood aint an excuse, i should have known better. i'm sry if the words i said hurt u, like a slap in the face. i am frustrated, but not at u guys. not at all. sanjie, i'm sry i made u cry. i know non of u had seen it coming. neither did i. it felt like i didnt know who i was anymore after that. n i'm sry if i made all of u worry when i ran off just like that. i'm sry that every one of u got called n worried for me. i needed space, but that wasnt the right way to get it.

i know u would say that i should have said something earlier, n u guys would be thr to listen. i know that. but i couldnt. cos u c, u were all part of the conflict that was going on in my head. part of me is sometimes frustrated at u guys, for making me do the right things, the things i dun wanna do. the other part of me keeps reminding that without u guys, i'm nothing. i'll be no where. n so i had to do this on my own. i'm sry if i have been shutting u guys out. its not that i dun need or care abt u guys anymore, i just need to settle my own issues on my own this time.

i really do appreciate all of u guys wanting to spend nearly all ur time with me before i leave even when u guys could be doing something else. all of u mean the world to me n it hurts me to know that i was stupid enough to hurt the ppl that i know care most abt me. it makes me annoyed with myself for not handling my own emotions better.

i'm sry for what happened today. n i know that some/all of u would want to talk but i dun think i'm up for it yet. need a lil bit of space to try clear my head. i know it will be hard for u guys to respect that, but i also know u will. with me being the youngest i know its practically in ur blood to all come rushing to my aid everytime i get into trouble but for this once, i need to think on my own. i promise i'll come find u guys the moment i have settled my issues ok ? :)

i love u guys. thank u for always being thr despite me always causing so much trouble n inconvienice. i'm sry if anything i've said or done have cos greater hurt than it ws suppose to.

catch u guys real sooon..



love, mei

thank god u stay like next door or i would just die. at least i still can hang outside the black hole. n now i'm sitting on ur floor typing away n ur doggie is just staring at me. he's awfully cute! :) he's smiley too. hee.

i just discovered today. sanny n kl r leaving before me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ): ): ): ): ): noooooooooooo!!! major heart break ): its only like a day before but still.... * sobs* i'm gonna miss u both super duper duper a lot!! ): ): ): sigh. sometimes i wish we were going to the same place. but nah. imperial/cambridge too nerdy for me! hee.

sometimes i'm too scared to think of how much i would miss some ppl.

i know u guys r gonna scream when u c this cos of the time. but hey. the one on holiday still is entitled to stay up late ok!! :) lousy excuse i know but wtv.

sanjie, neither of u counts for the whining. u'll nv be half as irritating as that person. n plus u guys dun really whine abt me leaving anw. i know its hard for u just like its hard for me so a lil whining every now n then is acceptable ok :) n i promise we'll lunch more ok :D



its late (more like early actually) n i stay awake, enjoying the silence, hearing nothing but the tapping of the keys of the keyboard. i look across, i c u both resting peacefully. n i know another of u is resting in the room across too. that alone, is enough to give me this warm fuzzy feeling. that these are the ppl that i can truely say i care abt, ppl that i love as my family. the past 2 wks have been hell. but i've seen how they've been thr for me, stood by me, even wanting to go to the extent of fighting for me if only i could have said yes. for once when i speak, someone actually listens n i'm not just silenced n pushed aside. it makes me feel like i'm human.




n so before i forget n babble on non stop cos my brain's partially working.. to c, erjie, godpa,godma.. thank u so much for fussing over n over me. n thank u for being my family. as always. :) i love u guys. n that means the rest of u too :)

all these farewell thing.. its really driving me insane. its not that i dun appreciate. i do. but its really getting too much. n wat most ppl dun realise is that every farewell is like a slap in the face. it was suppose to be 7 more days not 26 as of today. n while i guess most ppl would want to spend more time home, i'm really dying to get out of here. n yes it frustrating me super a lot.

friends come in many diff levels. n yes i do care more abt ppl that i'm closer to. but for some, the line has to be drawn. but they dun seem to get it n they keep pushing. most of the time i choose to remain silent as much as i can cos i know i'm most likely to blow up, esp knowing that the person's only gonna give excuses.



u have no idea how damn annoying it is to hear the same person whining to u how sad they're gonna be when u leave. esp when u know its relatively fake since they're just gonna forget abt u after a while. its fucking irritating.



i cant help but wish someone would just shoot me in the head or send me to SC now!

post post post... i got nothing to post lah! this wk so screwed.

n just going out a lot n meeting a lot of ppl. damn tiring. i think i'm slp deprived. sian.

thr. post alr. now happy. hahaha.

i ate like a cow today but i'm still hungry now ):

1. if i had a knife n the guts. i would stab myself, twist the knife n bleed to death

2. drink till really drunk, fall into some body of water n drown

3. take a car n drive it off a cliff.

life is nv fair. that's y i hate it.

some questions ripped off some fb note. i thot it would be quite fun to answer. SOME. haha.

what is ur current desktop picture?
i cant rmb cos i nv look at the desktop. haha. i rarely even turn the laptop off :P

what do u want more than anything right now?
go to SC! n take all the ppl that i really love with me :)

would u fall in love knowing that the person is leaving?
haha. hell i think i did just that :P

what is the one phone no. that shows up on your phone the most?
i think its a close battle between sanny, sanjie, c, dajie n bray.

what would u do if alcohol became illegal?
become depressed. cant laugh at retards who do the dumbest things when their drunk. n no more drink to help numb ur brain when things get ridiculously insane.




i love love art shopping with erjie! :)

since some ppl complain even tho i update like 10 times more than they do, fine. update.

i'm damn tired. going out to meet ppl all the time is a damn tiring thing to do n yes i'm starting to hate it. quite a lot. bah. sometimes i really wish i had a car. then travelling to meet ppl would be less of a chore. sigh.

dage, 2 more days!!! i miss u a lot leh... :P n i know someone misses u even more! :D haha. i might catch u earlier tho. cos me n twinny gonna crash!! :) heehee. ok. n since tmrw i free. i think we're coming down to watch. :D oh! i can pass u ur banana chips then! :D sanjie stole mine ): ): ): *whine* haha.



ok. my brain is not functioning properly alr. it rained today! i love the rain! i love walk/running/dancing in the rain! damn fun. heh. ok i know i know. must take hot shower n not catch a cold. blah. hahahaha.

ok. before u guys complain that i dun post anymore or that i didnt give u any warning. this might be a lil emo. but i feel i really have to do this. not i wanna be annoying n make u cry or anything ok. haha.

i'm sry if i made u guys worry a lot for me cos i was not slping n chionging out stuff that was needed on sat. i know. n i also know u guys worried abt how i just kept working n not do anything else, not eating not drinking.. i should have known better n not made u guys worry abt me so much. n even tho i often get annoyed at all ur constant naggings, yes i know u did it cos u cared. n no sanjie i wasnt mad at u or anything for bugging me all the way from another country. i'm honoured u actually bothered even :)

n i'm sry for scaring the daylights out of c n sanny when i was so frustrated i had a break down that nite. n sanny, thank u so much for sacrificing ur own slp to help me cut stuff n feed me with milk n cookies when u could easily have just gone to bed like everyone else. n i know u guys stayed up to try help me even tho most of u had work the next day so thank u all very very much. :)

i do feel bad for not being ard so much last wk. or rather i was just drowning in my "work". n then now even when i get to spend time with u guys i dun really seem happy. pls dun get it wrong. i love love love spending time with all of u. i really do. n i'm really thankful that i have such an awesome bunch of ppl that i can spend time with all the time. its just that this whole leaving thing is getting into me n its starting to seem a lot harder than i thot it would be. part of me is feeling like i should try not to spend too much time with u guys cos its only going to make leaving harder than it alr is. n the other part of me is screaming for me not to be stupid n spend all the time i possibly can with u guys.

erjie, godpa n godma, i really appreciate it that u guys flew back just to spend time with me before i leave. n despite all the hassle with the quarantine n stuff, u guys nv ever complained. u've nv complained abt anything u've had to do for me. n in my eyes, u'll always be my family. u guys have done so much for me, i'll nv forget it n i'm forever grateful to u guys for all u've done for me.

i know i've been emo. n i know u guys have been trying hard to make me happy again. i know u've told me countless of times how happy u guys r that i'm going to someplace i really wanna be. some place i can be happy. n it might seem quite ironic to say this. but no matter how emo or down i am, being with u guys is wat always makes me happy. just watching how u guys have fun together n enjoy each other's company alone is enough to make me happy.

i'm truely honoured to have all of u by my side always. caring n fussing over me all the time. i know i wouldnt have come this far without u guys. so thank u to each n every one of u for being such wonderful ppl in my life. i know that no matter how far away i may be, i can always turn to u guys. thank u for all the times u've stood by me, cried with me, laughed with me. i know in more ways than i can imagine, u guys have spoilt me rotten. n i can promise u, no matter whr i am, u guys will always be in my heart.

n while i continue to have this huge battle within my self. i hope u guys know that i love all of u v much. n i will spend watever time i can with u guys n i will treasure them all :)

i miss sanjie terribly! ): ): ): i hope u're having fun in melaka... n faster come back!! n dun forget to try the chicken rice ball :D haha. i hope u found the shop that sell many many accessories. i bet u're shopping like crazy. :P i miss u i miss u i miss u ): n u only told me yesterday!!! ): ): ): n u win lah. u not in the same country still can nag me to slp.. hee. dun waste phone bill on me lah.. u msg dage can alr :D

i've been drowning in art lately. ):

ok. i shall post n get it over n done with.

i know u're all worried abt how i'm going to take it n stuff. honestly, i dunno. but i'll survive somehow so no need to start making death threats so fast (he is btw. freaked as hell.) n no i'm not that fragile that i'm falling into pieces. i can promise u i wont fall apart if it helps. n i know most of u think i should tell him what exactly can / cant be done n stuff. but i think he should know that himself n if he aint wise enough to make that kinda judgement for himself then i really have nothing left to say.

so while i really appreciate that u guys care so much, u can all take a breather n stop fussing n worrying that i'm not going to be able to survive this. i will.




on other random things. twinny is back!! :) n has to be stuck quarantined. damn. she n ro r going bananas. that i know. haha. poor things. i just might drop by to say hi tmrw :)

ahhhh!! sch hols so busy. ok ok. i know i owe u guys like super a lot of time n wat not. so. let me know when u r free n i'll fit it all into my schedule i promise :)

i need to stop going to places i hardly go to n stop getting lost underground. y is orchard having more tunnels n more shopping malls???!!! i'm alr getting lost in the old place n i totally got lost in some new tunnel today. bah.

i miss training. die lah. n i've only stopped training for wat. 3 days. phail. n i can finally say that i'm "retired". kinda at least. i think. tho dage keeps sayin he bets i wont stay away for long. as annoying as that is, i think he's rite. dang.

anw. finally got my visa!!! :D or at least its been approved. have to collect on thurs. but oh wells. its done!! n in last than 2 months i'll be usa. i'm happy. but damn sad that my time with u guys, is now limited n counting down ): sigh.

the thot of being so far away from all of u kinda scares me. i guess in so many ways i've unconsiously become so dependent on all of u i can hardly imagine wat it would be like to not have u guys like just one phone call away. this is gonna be really hard. but i know we'll make it work somehow rite? :)

wth ern. u r so funny. i'm gonna miss ur insane humour. even tho is usually way way way beyond my comprehension. ahahaha.

erjie!!! omg.. yesssssss!!!!! i will count for u so u can just focus on chionging ur work ok! :) i miss miss miss u!!! ): n pls bring godpa n godma back with u too ok!! :) yay. this is gonna be fun.

sanjie i heart u too :) n i can promise u i will miss u like hell too ):

twinny!!!!! yeah! :) i cant wait for u to come back! of cos we'll have sleepovers!! that's like a must! :) n now that everyone's all nice n retired we can all slack in the pool!! :D haha. i miss u n we have like i think a lot to talk abt as always. haha. n yes i promise u'll get to c him this time. haha :/