Not.
Don't think its time yet.
How does one dislike home so much and still stick around? Hypocrisy?
Thursday, December 29, 2005
go figure
| The Keys to Your Heart |
 In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was ruthless, cold-blooded, and sarcastic. Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. Your risk of cheating is 100%. You are not suited for a monogamous relationship. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered. |
What Are The Keys To Your Heart?
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
The Magic Numbers
I See You You See Me
I never thought I could love you, but that's okay
I always knew that you'd leave me anyway
But darling when I see you, I see me
I asked the boys if they'd let me go out and play
They always said that you'd hurt me anyway
But darling when I see you, I see me
And it's alright, I never thought I'd fall in love again
It's alright, I look to you as my only friend
It's alright I never thought that I could feel this something, rising rising in my veins
Looks like it's happened again
I never thought that you wanted for me to stay
So I left you with the girls that came your way
And darling when I see you I see me
I often thought that you'd be better off left alone
Why throw a circle round a man with broken bones?
But darling when I see you I see me
But it's alright, I never thought I'd fall in love again
It's alright, I look to you as my only friend
It's alright I never thought that I could feel this something, rising rising in my veins
Looks like it's happened again
You always looked like you had something else on your mind
When I try to tell you you tell me never mind
And darling when I see you, you see me
I wanna tell you that I never loved anyone else
You wanna tell me that you're better off by yourself
But darling when I see you, you see me
Oh-ooh ooh oh-ooh...
This is not what I'm like, this is not what I do
This is not what I'm like, I think i'm falling for you
This is not what I'm like, this is not what I do
This is not what I'm like, I think i'm falling for you
This is not what I'm like, this is not what I do
This is not what I'm like, I think i'm falling for you
This is not what I'm like, this is not what I do
This is not what I'm like, I think i'm falling for you
I never thought
I never thought
I never thought
I never thought
I never thought that I could feel this something
Rising rising in my veins, and it looks like
I feel this something rising rising in my veins
Looks like it's happened again
I never thought I could love you, but that's okay
I always knew that you'd leave me anyway
But darling when I see you, I see me
I asked the boys if they'd let me go out and play
They always said that you'd hurt me anyway
But darling when I see you, I see me
And it's alright, I never thought I'd fall in love again
It's alright, I look to you as my only friend
It's alright I never thought that I could feel this something, rising rising in my veins
Looks like it's happened again
I never thought that you wanted for me to stay
So I left you with the girls that came your way
And darling when I see you I see me
I often thought that you'd be better off left alone
Why throw a circle round a man with broken bones?
But darling when I see you I see me
But it's alright, I never thought I'd fall in love again
It's alright, I look to you as my only friend
It's alright I never thought that I could feel this something, rising rising in my veins
Looks like it's happened again
You always looked like you had something else on your mind
When I try to tell you you tell me never mind
And darling when I see you, you see me
I wanna tell you that I never loved anyone else
You wanna tell me that you're better off by yourself
But darling when I see you, you see me
Oh-ooh ooh oh-ooh...
This is not what I'm like, this is not what I do
This is not what I'm like, I think i'm falling for you
This is not what I'm like, this is not what I do
This is not what I'm like, I think i'm falling for you
This is not what I'm like, this is not what I do
This is not what I'm like, I think i'm falling for you
This is not what I'm like, this is not what I do
This is not what I'm like, I think i'm falling for you
I never thought
I never thought
I never thought
I never thought
I never thought that I could feel this something
Rising rising in my veins, and it looks like
I feel this something rising rising in my veins
Looks like it's happened again
Sunday, December 18, 2005
aday
a day of reminiscence
a night of excitement and losing oneself
a dark, sultry morning
I go to sleep
a night of excitement and losing oneself
a dark, sultry morning
I go to sleep
Monday, November 28, 2005
Takeaways
If there's nothing else that I've learnt through this experience that are important, its these two things:
1 - there are many things that i do not want to know. Ignorance is bliss and denial rocks.
2 - i have not the strength to push for changes that are not wanted. there is no way to win against rationality and measured, balanced arguments that present both sides of the story in equal amounts. my reaction is destructive to too much.
so it will be as such. no more. this is the end.
no wonder singaporeans lead such a happy life.
1 - there are many things that i do not want to know. Ignorance is bliss and denial rocks.
2 - i have not the strength to push for changes that are not wanted. there is no way to win against rationality and measured, balanced arguments that present both sides of the story in equal amounts. my reaction is destructive to too much.
so it will be as such. no more. this is the end.
no wonder singaporeans lead such a happy life.
Sunday, November 27, 2005
I protest the hanging of drug traffickers.
Anger? Disappointment? Exasperation? I dont know what it is but i NEVER want to feel that way again. I hope it was for the sake of argument. Please dont say its something you believe in because it is not something I can live with.
It is not naievety. I refuse to believe that it is foolish idealism.
Drug Traffickers are NOT murderers.
They are not soley responsible for the social problems associated with drug consumption.
If you want to hang them, then its only fair to hang the consumers too. Why should they be given a second chance?
We should not condone drug trafficking but the punishment should be fair.
Capital punishment for drug trafficking is NOT FAIR.
It is not naievety. I refuse to believe that it is foolish idealism.
Drug Traffickers are NOT murderers.
They are not soley responsible for the social problems associated with drug consumption.
If you want to hang them, then its only fair to hang the consumers too. Why should they be given a second chance?
We should not condone drug trafficking but the punishment should be fair.
Capital punishment for drug trafficking is NOT FAIR.
Thursday, November 24, 2005
This started off as a response to a comment...
hmm.. abit disappointed here.. if Dr Chee doesnt call for international support, who can he call on? Singaporeans? Opps, did i just hear a fart? the very fact of the matter is that Singaporeans are ok with the death penalty either because they dont give squat or because they think its never gonna happen to them. Thats why they can just suck up the propoganda about sovereignty (how many people really understand this word) and how its a deterrent? how many have read reports that prove this right or wrong? Not enough. there is no "WE" here. What is here are moral sluts who will adopt whatever set of values is most beneficial to them. Trafficking drugs is NOT the same as a murderer. drug addicts choose to take drugs, bomb blast victims dont choose to die. if drug pushers should be sentenced to death, so should teachers coz they rob us of the ability to think. and they dont even get you high.
Nguyen should not be pardoned. The Law should be changed. But it ain't never gonna be a Singaporean who does it.
Nguyen should not be pardoned. The Law should be changed. But it ain't never gonna be a Singaporean who does it.
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Monday, November 21, 2005
Pink Floyd
Wish You Were Here
So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,
blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail? A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
And did they get you trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees? Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change? And did you exchange
a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
running over the same old ground. What have we found?
The same old fears,
wish you were here.
So, so you think you can tell Heaven from Hell,
blue skies from pain.
Can you tell a green field from a cold steel rail? A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
And did they get you trade your heroes for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees? Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change? And did you exchange
a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?
How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl, year after year,
running over the same old ground. What have we found?
The same old fears,
wish you were here.
Saturday, November 12, 2005
'papa was a rollin stone.. wherever he laid his hat was home..'
saw my ideal apartment, cheesy romantic movie, comepletely lost control.
now.
stop.
what's real?
now.
stop.
what's real?
Monday, November 07, 2005
Sunday, November 06, 2005
No Kidding.
Jasmine, you're an Indulgent Eater
You, more than others, truly gain satisfaction from eating. And because of this, you sometimes have difficulty slowing down or just saying no. You enjoy eating and what's great about that is you understand how to appreciate certain aspects of food that others do not. You see food as more than just a source of nutrition or energy. For you, dining, or just plain eating, can be a really enjoyable experience. On the downside, however, you might sometimes indulge too much in the satisfaction you get from eating.
You, more than others, truly gain satisfaction from eating. And because of this, you sometimes have difficulty slowing down or just saying no. You enjoy eating and what's great about that is you understand how to appreciate certain aspects of food that others do not. You see food as more than just a source of nutrition or energy. For you, dining, or just plain eating, can be a really enjoyable experience. On the downside, however, you might sometimes indulge too much in the satisfaction you get from eating.
Friday, November 04, 2005
up
the wind, chillingly rouses.
thoughts slide, one to another
in the way of comfort
'if you are unable to fall asleep in 15 mins, get up and do something quiet.'
seeing as i'm not supposed to do anything bright coz it prevents sleeping, i'm gonna type this with my eyes closed. will edit typos at the end.
so. what do you do when you realise whats wrong. when for some reaon, it has finally sunk in. two things - you change, because that is what is expected. or you go on as before, because perhaps that is who you truly are. i mean.. you wouldn't have been that way for no reason right?
i know if someone told me that i should change because it makes things better and because it makes me better, instinctively, i would ask - but that isnt me is it? i am the way i am because thats the way i am. so why should i change? because it makes me better? why doesn't it fly with me then? too afraid to lose myself? but why? there never was a me anyway.
thats just me i guess. ornery me. cannot live happily. cannot agree with anything. rebel without a cause.
there's just no satisfying.
or maybe i'm just too scared to try to prove anything to anyone coz i'm too fucking scared that i'll end up proving to myself that i'll never make it. fear of failure. becaue i am the way i am and thats me. its never gonna change. now how do you fight that?
thoughts slide, one to another
in the way of comfort
'if you are unable to fall asleep in 15 mins, get up and do something quiet.'
seeing as i'm not supposed to do anything bright coz it prevents sleeping, i'm gonna type this with my eyes closed. will edit typos at the end.
so. what do you do when you realise whats wrong. when for some reaon, it has finally sunk in. two things - you change, because that is what is expected. or you go on as before, because perhaps that is who you truly are. i mean.. you wouldn't have been that way for no reason right?
i know if someone told me that i should change because it makes things better and because it makes me better, instinctively, i would ask - but that isnt me is it? i am the way i am because thats the way i am. so why should i change? because it makes me better? why doesn't it fly with me then? too afraid to lose myself? but why? there never was a me anyway.
thats just me i guess. ornery me. cannot live happily. cannot agree with anything. rebel without a cause.
there's just no satisfying.
or maybe i'm just too scared to try to prove anything to anyone coz i'm too fucking scared that i'll end up proving to myself that i'll never make it. fear of failure. becaue i am the way i am and thats me. its never gonna change. now how do you fight that?
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Thought of the day
When you've spent your whole life needing to find perfection, knowing that nothing else will do, you might realize one day that there will never be a second best. Settling is no longer something you will not do, but cannot do.
And when that day comes, you will be the saddest person on earth because there is no such thing as perfection.
And since there is no second best, you will have nothing.
Will you settle now?
And when that day comes, you will be the saddest person on earth because there is no such thing as perfection.
And since there is no second best, you will have nothing.
Will you settle now?
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Old songs that sneak up on you and leaves you with a small smile
You are far, when I could have been your star
You listened to people Who scared you to death, and from my heart
Strange that you were strong enough
To even make a start
But you'll never find peace of mind
Till you listen to your heart
People, you can never change the way they feel
Better let them do just what they will
For they will, If you let them
Steal your heart from you People,Will always make a lover feel a fool
But you knew I loved you We could have shown them all
We should have seen love through
Fooled me with the tears in your eyes
Covered me with kisses and lies So good-bye, but please don't take my heart
You are far, I'm never gonna be your star
I'll pick up the pieces and mend my heart
Maybe I'll be strong enough, I don't know where to start
But I'll never find peace of mind, while I listen to my heart
People, you can never change the way they feel
Better let them do just what they will
For they will,
If you let them, steal your heart
And people, will always make a lover feel a fool
But you knew I loved you, We could have shown them all
We should have seen love through
But remember this, every other kiss, That you ever give, long as we both live
When you need the hand of another man
One you really can surrender with
I will wait for you, like I always do
There's something there, that can't compare
With any other
You are far
When I could have been your star
You listened to people
Who scared you to death, and from my heartS
trange that I was wrong enough
To think you'd love me too.
I guess you were kissing a fool
You must have been kissing a fool
-George MichaelSunday, October 23, 2005
Monday, October 17, 2005
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Happy
I'd rather dance with you than talk with you, so why don't we just move into the other room. There's space for us to shake, and 'hey, I like this tune'. Even if I could hear what you said, I doubt my reply would be interesting for you to hear. Because I haven't read a single book all year, and the only film I saw, I didn't like it at all. I'd rather dance than talk with you.The music's too loud and the noise from the crowd increases the chance of misinterpretation. So let your hips do the talking. I'll make you laugh by acting like the guy who sings, and you'll make me smile by really getting into the swing. I'd rather dance than talk with you.
Smile
TKOC
Smile
TKOC
Sunday, October 09, 2005
We Rubbish
Xiang Dang Nian.... haha.. yeah.. sure was a night of good food and definitely good fun. Friends to rubbish around are few and far between.. thanks guys!
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Over and Over
Same old same old
Time
Gripe
eRxEcAuSsOeNsS
Too Long
Too Late
deNsEpEeDrate to
getoutleavemigratezouexitlikai
Fuck off to
Life.
Screw Security
Screw Stability
Screw Sanity
Screw Sensibility
Screw YOU
Time
Gripe
eRxEcAuSsOeNsS
Too Long
Too Late
deNsEpEeDrate to
getoutleavemigratezouexitlikai
Fuck off to
Life.
Screw Security
Screw Stability
Screw Sanity
Screw Sensibility
Screw YOU
Thursday, September 29, 2005
roller coast er
qqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqRed. Hot. Night.
weirdest morning
qqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqLowest day
weirdest morning
qqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqLowest day
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Have I ever mentioned that the Foos Rock?
Best of you
I've got another confession to make
I'm your fool
Everyone?s got their chains to break
Holding you
Were you born to resist?
Or be abused?
Is someone getting the best of you?
Or are you gone and on to someone new?
I needed somewhere to hang my head
Without your noose
You gave me something that I didn't have
But had no use
I was too weak to give in
Too strong to lose
My heart is under arrest again
But I'll break loose
My head is giving me life or death
But I can't choose
I swear I'll never give in
I refuse
Is someone getting the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
It's real, the pain you feel
Your trust?
You must confess
Is someone getting the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
It's real, the pain you feel
The life, the love you'd die to heal
The hope that starts the broken heart
Your trust? You must confess
Is someone getting the best of you?
I've got a another confession, my friend
I'm no fool
I'm getting tired of starting again
somewhere new
Were you born to resist or be abused?
I swear I'll never give in-I refuse
Is someone getting the best of you?
I've got another confession to make
I'm your fool
Everyone?s got their chains to break
Holding you
Were you born to resist?
Or be abused?
Is someone getting the best of you?
Or are you gone and on to someone new?
I needed somewhere to hang my head
Without your noose
You gave me something that I didn't have
But had no use
I was too weak to give in
Too strong to lose
My heart is under arrest again
But I'll break loose
My head is giving me life or death
But I can't choose
I swear I'll never give in
I refuse
Is someone getting the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
It's real, the pain you feel
Your trust?
You must confess
Is someone getting the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
It's real, the pain you feel
The life, the love you'd die to heal
The hope that starts the broken heart
Your trust? You must confess
Is someone getting the best of you?
I've got a another confession, my friend
I'm no fool
I'm getting tired of starting again
somewhere new
Were you born to resist or be abused?
I swear I'll never give in-I refuse
Is someone getting the best of you?
Sunday, September 25, 2005
Saturday, September 24, 2005
how in the world do they know these things?
| Your Birthdate: January 22 |
 While sometimes employing unorthodox approaches, you are capable of handling large scale undertakings. You assume great responsibility and work long and hard toward completion. Often, especially in the early part of life, there is rigidity or stubbornness, and a tendency to repress feelings. Idealistic, you work for the greater good with a good deal of inner strength and charisma. An extremely capable organizer, but likely to paint with broad strokes rather than detail. You are very aware and intuitive. You are subject to a good deal of nervous tension. |
Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Somebody to love
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
Each morning I get up I die a little
Can barely stand on my feet
Take a look in the mirror and cry
Lord what you're doing to me
I have spent all my years in believing you
But I just can't get no relief, Lord!
Somebody, somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
I work hard every day of my life
I work till I ache my bones
At the end I take home my hard earned pay all on my own -
I get down on my knees
And I start to pray
Till the tears run down from my eyes
Lord - somebody - somebody
Can anybody find me - somebody to love?
(He works hard)
Everyday - I try and I try and I try -
But everybody wants to put me down
They say I'm goin' crazy
They say I got a lot of water in my brain
Got no common sense
I got nobody left to believe
Yeah - yeah yeah yeah
Oh Lord
Somebody - somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
Got no feel, I got no rhythm
I just keep losing my beat
I'm ok, I'm alright
Ain't gonna face no defeat
I just gotta get out of this prison cell
Someday I'm gonna be free, Lord!
Find me somebody to love
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
-hehe
Queen Rocks.
Each morning I get up I die a little
Can barely stand on my feet
Take a look in the mirror and cry
Lord what you're doing to me
I have spent all my years in believing you
But I just can't get no relief, Lord!
Somebody, somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
I work hard every day of my life
I work till I ache my bones
At the end I take home my hard earned pay all on my own -
I get down on my knees
And I start to pray
Till the tears run down from my eyes
Lord - somebody - somebody
Can anybody find me - somebody to love?
(He works hard)
Everyday - I try and I try and I try -
But everybody wants to put me down
They say I'm goin' crazy
They say I got a lot of water in my brain
Got no common sense
I got nobody left to believe
Yeah - yeah yeah yeah
Oh Lord
Somebody - somebody
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
Got no feel, I got no rhythm
I just keep losing my beat
I'm ok, I'm alright
Ain't gonna face no defeat
I just gotta get out of this prison cell
Someday I'm gonna be free, Lord!
Find me somebody to love
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
-hehe
Queen Rocks.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Dubai desert dreams
I love the way life puts you through the worst thing then lead you into the time of your life.
and now i know i am in love with what i do.
I'm happy.
and now i know i am in love with what i do.
I'm happy.
Friday, September 09, 2005
Sleepless
Second night... :) hasn't happened in a long while, sleeplessness. Is it excitement? That I might have finally been rested?
Its restlessness I think. Wanting.. needing to do something. But I havent yet figured out what it is. Don't think its hit so hard in a while.. hehe.. do I do something about it? Am I about to allow the lil'uns some free reign to lead me into something whose consequences have not be cerebrally explored and carefully analysed through a detailed cost-benefit analaysis?
Its restlessness I think. Wanting.. needing to do something. But I havent yet figured out what it is. Don't think its hit so hard in a while.. hehe.. do I do something about it? Am I about to allow the lil'uns some free reign to lead me into something whose consequences have not be cerebrally explored and carefully analysed through a detailed cost-benefit analaysis?
Trash revisited
"You know we'll end up in bed."
"No we won't."
"Try to stop yourself."
- Ellen and Spurs
"No we won't."
"Try to stop yourself."
- Ellen and Spurs
Sunday, September 04, 2005
Thank goodness its over!
Well not completely.. but at least I can eat properly again. And my gratitude to all of you who induldged this sympathy whore... i really announced it didn't i? haha.. but i decided enough was enough so i'm not gonna carry on whining here. its over and thats most important..
next ... not worrying.. more puzzling.. are the dreams.. i guess i have an idea of what might have triggered them.. but its not really related... or is it? is my subconscious trying to tell me something? do i not want to listen? should i? argh.
'Promise me you'll try to like it.. really. Promise?'
next ... not worrying.. more puzzling.. are the dreams.. i guess i have an idea of what might have triggered them.. but its not really related... or is it? is my subconscious trying to tell me something? do i not want to listen? should i? argh.
'Promise me you'll try to like it.. really. Promise?'
Friday, September 02, 2005
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
I can't get no. Satisfaction.
The Elusive -
Twice, I have been left high and dry.
Without the thrill slithering down my throat.
Without the salty-metallic ocean taste in my mouth.
Frustrated.
Twice, I have been left high and dry.
Without the thrill slithering down my throat.
Without the salty-metallic ocean taste in my mouth.
Frustrated.
Sunday, August 28, 2005
flavour
Mmm ... licorice! Strong and edgy, you're the flavor of black jellybeans and Good 'n' Plentys. Some people absolutely love you (in fact, they might even find you addictive), but you're definitely not for everyone. But that's okay with you — you'd rather pick and choose your companions. When you have time for friends at all, that is. Powerful and very potent, you're goal-oriented and ambitious — you don't let much stand in your way. There's nothing sweet or sugary about you; you're a serious taste that's best suited for the truly focused. Lingering, enigmatic, and a little hard to pin down, you're a truly tantalizing treat.
career type
ENFP
That means that based on the standard measure of personality traits, you have strong organizational and project management skills. When others lose sight of the big picture, you help them to stay focused to see what's important and weed out unnecessary details. You are most fulfilled by your work when you are allowed to think creatively and consider new approaches to work. You are not afraid to take calculated risks and see mistakes or failures as opportunity for growth.
You have a diverse array of interests and are even regarded as a Renaissance type of person. You possess an inspiring zest for life and abound with creativity. You seek venues to express your thoughts and feelings. Your personality and beliefs shine through in most of the work you do.
Room style. haha
Modern
Sometimes less really is more. A modern style like yours tends to be refreshingly clutter-free and all about simple lines. Maybe you use square, pop-up baskets to hide laundry or have straightforward twill bedding in a monochromatic hue. Simplicity is for you.
While you may get overwhelmed when everyday clutter starts accumulating on flat surfaces (don't we all?), you're also probably pretty organized. Which may be why the people who know you like to congregate in your spare, calm surroundings. Maybe you set the tone with a steel desk lamp and keep disarray at bay with great-looking storage boxes. We're guessing you pretty much have a place for everything and that translates into a room that perfectly reflects your clean, modern style.
career type
ENFP
That means that based on the standard measure of personality traits, you have strong organizational and project management skills. When others lose sight of the big picture, you help them to stay focused to see what's important and weed out unnecessary details. You are most fulfilled by your work when you are allowed to think creatively and consider new approaches to work. You are not afraid to take calculated risks and see mistakes or failures as opportunity for growth.
You have a diverse array of interests and are even regarded as a Renaissance type of person. You possess an inspiring zest for life and abound with creativity. You seek venues to express your thoughts and feelings. Your personality and beliefs shine through in most of the work you do.
Room style. haha
Modern
Sometimes less really is more. A modern style like yours tends to be refreshingly clutter-free and all about simple lines. Maybe you use square, pop-up baskets to hide laundry or have straightforward twill bedding in a monochromatic hue. Simplicity is for you.
While you may get overwhelmed when everyday clutter starts accumulating on flat surfaces (don't we all?), you're also probably pretty organized. Which may be why the people who know you like to congregate in your spare, calm surroundings. Maybe you set the tone with a steel desk lamp and keep disarray at bay with great-looking storage boxes. We're guessing you pretty much have a place for everything and that translates into a room that perfectly reflects your clean, modern style.
Wo. Mad.
This year was definitely different from the rest. From a more positive perspective, it was a very chill-out Womad this year. Nice Reggae, nomad-type chanting music.
The way I see it - No Bang. It was quite a letdown.. but most of it was my fault coz I'd counted on it being one crazy night out post-conf. Guess I expected to lose myself in it and when it wasn't what I wanted, the letdown closed my mind to what might have been good.
The way I see it - No Bang. It was quite a letdown.. but most of it was my fault coz I'd counted on it being one crazy night out post-conf. Guess I expected to lose myself in it and when it wasn't what I wanted, the letdown closed my mind to what might have been good.
Saturday, August 27, 2005
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Can this be real.. can this be true?
Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?
Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.
Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?
Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.
How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.
What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.
Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
A girl's time..
I am in need of comfort!! Top of the list now seems to be a nice warm bolster.. sigh.. not the cranky japanese boyfriend type... those are just too freaky. But yeah, something to wrap yourself around and of course, a thick, soft, warm blankie.. sigh.. *utter bliss*
Monday, August 15, 2005
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Bad news... and all you govt-related friends of mine - don't linger here long enough to get traced.
I'm sorry guys.. It really depresses me to make this announcement, although you might already have heard about it.
There will be no second public holiday this August.
It would have been an exciting experience for all of us, especially those who just turned 21 and would have had the honour of voting for the first, and quite possibly only time in our lives. Except for the luck ones living in the token opposition constituencies. You have no idea how proud you should be to have a hand in deciding that you should never be the first to have your estate upgraded.
No wonder I didn't receive the letter informing where I should go to vote. Kudos to the Elections Department for saving so many trees that would have been cut down for no good reason.
That aside, I figured, hey, maybe I should find out more about our President (this was not inspired by the TT Durai episode, during which I bitched to death about how if you dont bother to find out about others, don't complain when they don't meet your expectations). So I googled our President's name. I must admit that this is one of the most unreliable channels of information. Always double check with the Istana stie, it should have the most reliable info. The link should show as one of the first Google results.
I think after a good many sites that I visited, I've learnt alot. That the decision to issue the Certificate of Eligibility was based on a complete truth. None of the candidates have, or could have been through so many government departments - from social worker to Labour Research to the Foreign Ministry to Home Affairs to the Security & Intelligence Division to SPH.
And to all those who said that he never contributed anything to the country, guess you didn't know that he volunteered to be a hostage when the JRA attacked the oil tanks on pulau bukom in 1974 so that the civillian hostages could be released. And this is not some cooked up publicity gimmick. google it. or visit http://www.un.org/terrorism/statements/singaporeE.html (small mention of it in para 10)
So there you go. A true Public Servant, well-acquainted with how the govt works and how he fits into the grand scheme of things, a man of chivalry. There is no alternative to such a candidate. There is no need to vote.
There will be no second public holiday this August.
It would have been an exciting experience for all of us, especially those who just turned 21 and would have had the honour of voting for the first, and quite possibly only time in our lives. Except for the luck ones living in the token opposition constituencies. You have no idea how proud you should be to have a hand in deciding that you should never be the first to have your estate upgraded.
No wonder I didn't receive the letter informing where I should go to vote. Kudos to the Elections Department for saving so many trees that would have been cut down for no good reason.
That aside, I figured, hey, maybe I should find out more about our President (this was not inspired by the TT Durai episode, during which I bitched to death about how if you dont bother to find out about others, don't complain when they don't meet your expectations). So I googled our President's name. I must admit that this is one of the most unreliable channels of information. Always double check with the Istana stie, it should have the most reliable info. The link should show as one of the first Google results.
I think after a good many sites that I visited, I've learnt alot. That the decision to issue the Certificate of Eligibility was based on a complete truth. None of the candidates have, or could have been through so many government departments - from social worker to Labour Research to the Foreign Ministry to Home Affairs to the Security & Intelligence Division to SPH.
And to all those who said that he never contributed anything to the country, guess you didn't know that he volunteered to be a hostage when the JRA attacked the oil tanks on pulau bukom in 1974 so that the civillian hostages could be released. And this is not some cooked up publicity gimmick. google it. or visit http://www.un.org/terrorism/statements/singaporeE.html (small mention of it in para 10)
So there you go. A true Public Servant, well-acquainted with how the govt works and how he fits into the grand scheme of things, a man of chivalry. There is no alternative to such a candidate. There is no need to vote.
foot-in-mouth disease
I always do it, don't I? Sometimes you get so used to saying the things you say that it becomes a thoughtless, automatic reaction that, while not untruthful, does not help the situation you're in.
**
"You 23& 21 year old girls are single by choice" This conclusion is something I usually have to go through alot of whiney rationalisation to get to... remember those sleepovers? haha.. Still, tonight, it was something that I could agree to without hesitation. Perhaps because it didnt sound like an accusation. Still, it does sound like I want to "stay on the shelf" but it honestly (and quite obviously i think.. heh)isn't the case. Let's just say ..hmm.. how to say this in a non-desperate way... I won't fight it if it happens.
**
"You 23& 21 year old girls are single by choice" This conclusion is something I usually have to go through alot of whiney rationalisation to get to... remember those sleepovers? haha.. Still, tonight, it was something that I could agree to without hesitation. Perhaps because it didnt sound like an accusation. Still, it does sound like I want to "stay on the shelf" but it honestly (and quite obviously i think.. heh)isn't the case. Let's just say ..hmm.. how to say this in a non-desperate way... I won't fight it if it happens.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
babooshka hair
i swear i'm not one of those with a case of the smarts. maybe my brain lacks something.. maybe i lack a brain. if the powers that be made my gut bigger than my brain, shouldnt i be using my gut more often? I've obviously got more to spare.
I am hilarious
I am hilarious
Lately
Its been a good couple of weeks. I think the good stuff's outweighed the bad and I really do hope I can keep it going. Unfortunately, it seems to stem from alot of impromtu decisions, gut reactions and sometimes real brainlessness.. haha.. maybe being smart is not my thing. "if at first you don't succeed, try and try again. if you still fail, then maybe success is not your thing" Same principle.. haha.. but I don't think I have a major problem with it.
So thanks heaps to everyone, whether or not they know how much better they've made my life! I am blessed to have you guys around ; )
So thanks heaps to everyone, whether or not they know how much better they've made my life! I am blessed to have you guys around ; )
Thursday, August 04, 2005
Sunday, July 31, 2005
: )
sometimes when you're just waking up from the sweetest dream and in that two or three seconds you really wonder if it did happen.. and before you even open your eyes there is a goofy smile on your face.
then the good old brain starts waking up.. and the smile becomes a little wistful.. and you wish it was all true and beautiful.
and you start thinking.. and you realise then that even if it were all guaranteed to be exactly as it was in the dream, it would not have been enough for you to let it happen..
how do you describe that look?
then the good old brain starts waking up.. and the smile becomes a little wistful.. and you wish it was all true and beautiful.
and you start thinking.. and you realise then that even if it were all guaranteed to be exactly as it was in the dream, it would not have been enough for you to let it happen..
how do you describe that look?
Sobriety
I need to stop drinking. Alcohol tolerance is too high and its getting expensive to get drunk. and need to find places that serve stronger stuff... goodness... 3 shots and no high... this is in addition to 4 cocktails... bummer. the stuff is so weak its embarassing.
Friday, July 29, 2005
Please go watch sin city
i have never had a movie blow my mind away like that... its got the romance of film noir and the era, the good ol' macho-hero attitude that i love, everyone is clear about their motivation, a healthy dose of good vs evil and splattered blood and gore.. and man when he ripped his balls off... it looked fucking painful i'll tell ya.
and yet in the clarity of the plot and each character's throughline, i was always confused. do i laugh, cringe or cry at the same thing?
and yet in the clarity of the plot and each character's throughline, i was always confused. do i laugh, cringe or cry at the same thing?
Wednesday, July 27, 2005
revisiting old times
Staying home alone on a Friday
Flat on the floor looking back
On old love
Or lack thereof
After all the crushes are faded
And all my wishful thinking was wrong
I'm jaded
I hate it
I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
Searching all my days just to find you
I'm not sure who I'm looking for
I'll know it
When I see you
Until then, I'll hide in my bedroom
Staying up all night just to write
A love song for no one
I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
And watched you walk away?
I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
You'll be so good
You'll be so good for me
-John Mayer
I miss songs with lyrics :) they're somehow more.. specific,less gut but no less real. also less anonymous.
Flat on the floor looking back
On old love
Or lack thereof
After all the crushes are faded
And all my wishful thinking was wrong
I'm jaded
I hate it
I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
Searching all my days just to find you
I'm not sure who I'm looking for
I'll know it
When I see you
Until then, I'll hide in my bedroom
Staying up all night just to write
A love song for no one
I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
And watched you walk away?
I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
You'll be so good
You'll be so good for me
-John Mayer
I miss songs with lyrics :) they're somehow more.. specific,less gut but no less real. also less anonymous.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
Lately...
Feels a little chilly...
a little english..
reminiscing...
Won't you feel weird not coming back to uni this September?
a little english..
reminiscing...
Won't you feel weird not coming back to uni this September?
Monday, July 18, 2005
Tomorrow...
Tomorrow never comes, what kind of a fool do you take me for?
- a line from Bugsy Malone
So I will
not slack
make a list of my task
finish it
ask for more.
Its about time i got my ass moving.
and for everyone who's reading my blog, i suspect that the following entries will be full of pep talk to myself so its alright if you dont wanna come back for that shit everyday. I forgive u ; )
- a line from Bugsy Malone
So I will
not slack
make a list of my task
finish it
ask for more.
Its about time i got my ass moving.
and for everyone who's reading my blog, i suspect that the following entries will be full of pep talk to myself so its alright if you dont wanna come back for that shit everyday. I forgive u ; )
'Hey, you alright?' 'Yeah, i am, but you're not'
Lose yourself.
Not to lose your identity but to become
the thumping beat
the electric energy
the mourning in the singers voice
the raw sensuality in a blood red rose
the happiness of vibrant colours at a fresh fruit stall on tuesdays
the starkness of black on white, fuschia on neon pink
the textures of a fresh, succulent shrimp
the juiciness of a plump longan
the richness of a sweet, creamy lobster sauce
not just experiencing but to become the experience
to live in that sensation and be swept away, engulfed, consumed by it
'I am Jack's raging bile duct'
Who am I?
When are you asking?
Where are you asking?
What are you asking?
I am a result of circumstances - There is no me, there is the daughter of my parents, sister to my brother. My identity is a reaction to my environment - I refuse to be like them. Your impression of me is how you see me fit into your world, your society, your opinion of me and your friends' opinions - fillintheblank. There is no me. I am nothing without context. There is no self.
There is no self.
Not to lose your identity but to become
the thumping beat
the electric energy
the mourning in the singers voice
the raw sensuality in a blood red rose
the happiness of vibrant colours at a fresh fruit stall on tuesdays
the starkness of black on white, fuschia on neon pink
the textures of a fresh, succulent shrimp
the juiciness of a plump longan
the richness of a sweet, creamy lobster sauce
not just experiencing but to become the experience
to live in that sensation and be swept away, engulfed, consumed by it
'I am Jack's raging bile duct'
Who am I?
When are you asking?
Where are you asking?
What are you asking?
I am a result of circumstances - There is no me, there is the daughter of my parents, sister to my brother. My identity is a reaction to my environment - I refuse to be like them. Your impression of me is how you see me fit into your world, your society, your opinion of me and your friends' opinions - fillintheblank. There is no me. I am nothing without context. There is no self.
There is no self.
Sunday, July 17, 2005
Flitting thoughts
SO! How many of you have figured out that I cannot count? What comes after report 1? Report 1. Naturally.
Ahhh.. alot of thoughts to flit through tonight.
Mint and beer smell surprisingly good!
Leather jackets and mohawks have that ability to punk up a concert... thats the right atmosphere man.. not bloody long queues just to collect your bags ala Good Charlotte.
Outdoor concerts R.O.C.K. really. and if we think baybeats rock, please check out http://www.bbc.co.uk/music/glastonbury2005/festivalguide/ this is how festivals shld be... my dream event...
Indie bands have weird names. thats half the fun isnt it? I am David Sparkle - mates you guys were fucking brilliant. to get a crowd going like that - who would not love you?
Cry Me a River in rock. Justin - time to retire your whiney falsetto hun.
Beer and Marshmellows do not go well. Corn rocks
AA caps rock too.
'Sad as it is - no body surfing is allowed please' 'Surf! Surf! Surf! Surf!' DIY mates.
Rabbit hopping... completely into it... crumbling into oneself... is losing to passion self destructive?
I love....
Ahhh.. alot of thoughts to flit through tonight.
Mint and beer smell surprisingly good!
Leather jackets and mohawks have that ability to punk up a concert... thats the right atmosphere man.. not bloody long queues just to collect your bags ala Good Charlotte.
Outdoor concerts R.O.C.K. really. and if we think baybeats rock, please check out http://www.bbc.co.uk/music/glastonbury2005/festivalguide/ this is how festivals shld be... my dream event...
Indie bands have weird names. thats half the fun isnt it? I am David Sparkle - mates you guys were fucking brilliant. to get a crowd going like that - who would not love you?
Cry Me a River in rock. Justin - time to retire your whiney falsetto hun.
Beer and Marshmellows do not go well. Corn rocks
AA caps rock too.
'Sad as it is - no body surfing is allowed please' 'Surf! Surf! Surf! Surf!' DIY mates.
Rabbit hopping... completely into it... crumbling into oneself... is losing to passion self destructive?
I love....
Friday, July 15, 2005
Report 1
Alright. First day. put some things into action and, as expected, results are as yet - not showing. Its kinda like having a baby i guess, you have fun planning and putting things together.. then nothing shows for a while.. then the hard work comes for the rest of your life.
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Launch of the Get Your Act Together Campaign!
In a bid to fight procrastination, self-doubt and unnecessary stress, the 'Get Your Act Together' campaign was conceived and put to action. Based on a Just Whack philospophy, the objectives of the campaign are to eliminate second-guessing of oneself (especially when it comes to getting started on tasks) and procrastination, thereby creating a sense of achievement and increasing the level of satisfaction with one's life.
The campaign advocates the use of specific tools to structure one's life and to put issues into the correct perspective such as :
1. Lists - Simple to-do lists are especially useful to those who have poor or non-existent short term memory capabilities. They are also visual reminders that do not allow one to 'forget' to do things that they do not like. Striking off completed tasks also serve as a reminder of little accomplishments, encouragement to keep going.
2. Goal Setting - By writing down one's long and short term goals and placing them in a prominent area (alternatively, one can record it on a technologically advanced mobile phone and use that message as a daily wake up call), it will always be at the fore front of one's thoughts, thereby giving purpose and motivation to complete seemingly mundane tasks.
3. Use of a Planner - After decades of spending money on paper bound planners and digital planners, the time has come to use them. Update daily or whenever changes occur and MOST importantly, REFER TO THEM OFTEN. After all that effort to create a comprehensive schedule and lists, we should at least follow through with them.
4. Reporting - It is of utmost importance to document the achievements and failures of the day. It is the sure way to track progress (prevents the belittling of small accomplishments) and is also stark evidence of deviation from the campaign's goals.
Of course, the above are just examples and it is impossible to create an exhaustive list of tools available. If it works for you, use it and share it.
In accordance to point 2, it is declared that the overall goal set for the month of July 2005 is "Clean up your shit". The specifics of each individual's shit will differ but the point is that we should first right the wrongs which have resulted from our previous attitudes. Whatever the consequences might be, just face it and get it over and done with. Delaying this will only make the consequences more severe than they already are.
Planning shall be done at the start of each day before work commences. At the end of the day, a list of spill over tasks will be compiled and a report of the day will be posted. The above protocol will be strictly adhered to. Failure to do so will plunge you straight back into depression and wallowing in self-pity, the results of which are evident in recent posts. Not a fun read.
Now that the basics are set and ready to go, let's find the strength within us to just whack.
The campaign advocates the use of specific tools to structure one's life and to put issues into the correct perspective such as :
1. Lists - Simple to-do lists are especially useful to those who have poor or non-existent short term memory capabilities. They are also visual reminders that do not allow one to 'forget' to do things that they do not like. Striking off completed tasks also serve as a reminder of little accomplishments, encouragement to keep going.
2. Goal Setting - By writing down one's long and short term goals and placing them in a prominent area (alternatively, one can record it on a technologically advanced mobile phone and use that message as a daily wake up call), it will always be at the fore front of one's thoughts, thereby giving purpose and motivation to complete seemingly mundane tasks.
3. Use of a Planner - After decades of spending money on paper bound planners and digital planners, the time has come to use them. Update daily or whenever changes occur and MOST importantly, REFER TO THEM OFTEN. After all that effort to create a comprehensive schedule and lists, we should at least follow through with them.
4. Reporting - It is of utmost importance to document the achievements and failures of the day. It is the sure way to track progress (prevents the belittling of small accomplishments) and is also stark evidence of deviation from the campaign's goals.
Of course, the above are just examples and it is impossible to create an exhaustive list of tools available. If it works for you, use it and share it.
In accordance to point 2, it is declared that the overall goal set for the month of July 2005 is "Clean up your shit". The specifics of each individual's shit will differ but the point is that we should first right the wrongs which have resulted from our previous attitudes. Whatever the consequences might be, just face it and get it over and done with. Delaying this will only make the consequences more severe than they already are.
Planning shall be done at the start of each day before work commences. At the end of the day, a list of spill over tasks will be compiled and a report of the day will be posted. The above protocol will be strictly adhered to. Failure to do so will plunge you straight back into depression and wallowing in self-pity, the results of which are evident in recent posts. Not a fun read.
Now that the basics are set and ready to go, let's find the strength within us to just whack.
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
Sunday, July 10, 2005
hindsight 20/20
my last 2 entries were quite rubbish huh? sounded something desperate didnt it? shall i chalk it up to pms? more likely a bad, low mood. i think i've felt more intensely about it but never really expressed it in such melodrama...
so guniang
so guniang
Saturday, July 09, 2005
Ghosts
them
sometimes when you're around the completely crushable type it inevitably leads to the ~why isnt it happening~ question. I'm so sick and tired of it.. it really feels like useless whining (which it is) but.. this .. hopelessness and helplessness.. let nature take its course? what if i dont like that course? what if nature decided to take a permanent break?
Please show me a sign!! better still, something that i want to see!
sometimes when you're around the completely crushable type it inevitably leads to the ~why isnt it happening~ question. I'm so sick and tired of it.. it really feels like useless whining (which it is) but.. this .. hopelessness and helplessness.. let nature take its course? what if i dont like that course? what if nature decided to take a permanent break?
Please show me a sign!! better still, something that i want to see!
Monday, July 04, 2005
the way life works
mine at least. It somehow seems like, as much as i've tried to deviate from the norm, it is seldom my choice to do so. everything that i've set my heart on doing, i have failed.
the only time when its worked, when i find myself without any inertia to do what i want to do, is when it feels right.
and today, it did. under the most common of circumstances, while discussing my.. worries... with charine, it struck me that i really didn't want to go back to school. and what she said really put it into perspective for me
"if you want to go back to school, fine, quit. but dont go back to school just because you want to quit"
its something i've always known but i guess in recent times, lost sight of. i was trying to escape. fear was the biggest weight on my chest, stopping me from getting out of bed, out of the house, and out of this place where i would be suffocated by the criticisms and engulfed by the negativity and ultimately, where i would lose the strength to pull myself out of never ending self pity.
sounds melodramatic? possibly, probably, and melodrama was exactly what the past 3 weeks have been. all because i couldnt deal.
so, do i have a problem with getting this "feeling right" state? Yes, I do. Why can't i feel right when i need it? why did i have to moan and groan my way through all of that, andall the while knowing what i had to do but never being able to do it because i didnt have that right feeling? (i cannot believe i just typed this paragraph.... sounds like it came right out of cosmopolitan doesnt it?)
i am the sort of person who would belive in the cosmos and karma and all that destiny stuff but when it comes down to it and i cannot control my fate and have to wait for the right thing to happen at the right time (which, might i add is never on time) it is plain frustrating!
is this another excuse for me being weak? some would think so, i certainly do.
the only time when its worked, when i find myself without any inertia to do what i want to do, is when it feels right.
and today, it did. under the most common of circumstances, while discussing my.. worries... with charine, it struck me that i really didn't want to go back to school. and what she said really put it into perspective for me
"if you want to go back to school, fine, quit. but dont go back to school just because you want to quit"
its something i've always known but i guess in recent times, lost sight of. i was trying to escape. fear was the biggest weight on my chest, stopping me from getting out of bed, out of the house, and out of this place where i would be suffocated by the criticisms and engulfed by the negativity and ultimately, where i would lose the strength to pull myself out of never ending self pity.
sounds melodramatic? possibly, probably, and melodrama was exactly what the past 3 weeks have been. all because i couldnt deal.
so, do i have a problem with getting this "feeling right" state? Yes, I do. Why can't i feel right when i need it? why did i have to moan and groan my way through all of that, andall the while knowing what i had to do but never being able to do it because i didnt have that right feeling? (i cannot believe i just typed this paragraph.... sounds like it came right out of cosmopolitan doesnt it?)
i am the sort of person who would belive in the cosmos and karma and all that destiny stuff but when it comes down to it and i cannot control my fate and have to wait for the right thing to happen at the right time (which, might i add is never on time) it is plain frustrating!
is this another excuse for me being weak? some would think so, i certainly do.
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Guess which line inspired this blog?
I don't go to school every monday
I've got my reason to sleep
Don't you tell me how I should be
I made up my mind 'bout the music
I made up my mind 'bout the style
I know that I'm stable and able to settle down
But I keep
F-f-f-falling
Down with the sun
I can't give it up
The night is calling me like a drum
I keep on f-f-falling
This life is so full of temptation
And I want to keep it that way
I know myself I can handle the game
Made up my mind 'bout the future
Made up my mind 'bout the past
I know that I'm stable and able to hold on
F-f-f-falling
Down with the sun
I can't give it up
The night is calling me like a drum
I keep on f-f-falling
[falling]
I need a flame I need a spark
[falling]
Don't be afraid to open my heart
[falling]
I need a game I need a shock
[falling]
Don't be afraid my heart is unlocked
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh woh
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh woh yeah yeah yeah
f-f-f-Falling
Down with the sun
I can't give it up
The night is calling me like a drum
I keep on f-f-falling
[falling]
I need a flame I need a spark
[falling]
Don't be afraid to open my heart
[falling]
I need a game I need a shock
[falling]
Don't be afraid my heart is unlocked
[falling]
Made up my mind 'bout the music
[falling]
Made up my mind 'bout the style
[falling]
I know that I'm stable and able
[falling]
To settle down
F-f-falling
[Falling,Falling,Falling,Falling]
I've got my reason to sleep
Don't you tell me how I should be
I made up my mind 'bout the music
I made up my mind 'bout the style
I know that I'm stable and able to settle down
But I keep
F-f-f-falling
Down with the sun
I can't give it up
The night is calling me like a drum
I keep on f-f-falling
This life is so full of temptation
And I want to keep it that way
I know myself I can handle the game
Made up my mind 'bout the future
Made up my mind 'bout the past
I know that I'm stable and able to hold on
F-f-f-falling
Down with the sun
I can't give it up
The night is calling me like a drum
I keep on f-f-falling
[falling]
I need a flame I need a spark
[falling]
Don't be afraid to open my heart
[falling]
I need a game I need a shock
[falling]
Don't be afraid my heart is unlocked
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh woh
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh woh yeah yeah yeah
f-f-f-Falling
Down with the sun
I can't give it up
The night is calling me like a drum
I keep on f-f-falling
[falling]
I need a flame I need a spark
[falling]
Don't be afraid to open my heart
[falling]
I need a game I need a shock
[falling]
Don't be afraid my heart is unlocked
[falling]
Made up my mind 'bout the music
[falling]
Made up my mind 'bout the style
[falling]
I know that I'm stable and able
[falling]
To settle down
F-f-falling
[Falling,Falling,Falling,Falling]
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
mood
6 am day after Christmas
I throw some clothes on in the dark
The smell of cold
Car seat is freezing
The world is sleeping
I am numb
Up the stairs to her apartment
She is balled up on the couch
Her mom and dad went down to Charlotte
they're not home to find us out
And we drive
Now that I have found someone
I'm feeling more alone
Than I ever have before
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
they call her name at 7:30
I pace around the parking lot
then I walk down to buy her flowers
And sell some gifts that I got
Can't you see
It's not me you're dying for
Now she's feeling more alone
Then she ever has before
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
off the coast and I'm headed nowhere
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
As weeks went by
It showed that she was not fine
They told me son it's time to tell the truth
She broke down and I broke down
Cause I was tired of lying
Driving home to her apartment
For the moment we're alone
She's alone
I'm alone
Now I know it
Benfoldsfive.
I throw some clothes on in the dark
The smell of cold
Car seat is freezing
The world is sleeping
I am numb
Up the stairs to her apartment
She is balled up on the couch
Her mom and dad went down to Charlotte
they're not home to find us out
And we drive
Now that I have found someone
I'm feeling more alone
Than I ever have before
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
they call her name at 7:30
I pace around the parking lot
then I walk down to buy her flowers
And sell some gifts that I got
Can't you see
It's not me you're dying for
Now she's feeling more alone
Then she ever has before
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
off the coast and I'm headed nowhere
She's a brick and I'm drowning slowly
As weeks went by
It showed that she was not fine
They told me son it's time to tell the truth
She broke down and I broke down
Cause I was tired of lying
Driving home to her apartment
For the moment we're alone
She's alone
I'm alone
Now I know it
Benfoldsfive.
Sunday, May 15, 2005
Indie Chick
Gosh.. had the best night in alooooooong time! haha... some call it indie, and it sounds cool so i'll stick with that. haha... got relatively high, EXCELLENT music and great company.. what more can a girl ask for?
Sigh.. haha.. abit worn out now. Its a good worn out though... so.. music for tonight.. Brit bands, mr brightside (who doesnt love them?), and ... without you.. yes, clay aiken... and at this point in time, never leave you...
damn i wanna go back to england... ican do that somg on repeat for a loooong time. and i think the good ole sap for the month has come back to haunt me.. haha.. sounds bad doesnt it.. i have a feelin that this is gonna be a hard one to fight... please dont be too hard on me yeah? please... dont....
Sigh.. haha.. abit worn out now. Its a good worn out though... so.. music for tonight.. Brit bands, mr brightside (who doesnt love them?), and ... without you.. yes, clay aiken... and at this point in time, never leave you...
damn i wanna go back to england... ican do that somg on repeat for a loooong time. and i think the good ole sap for the month has come back to haunt me.. haha.. sounds bad doesnt it.. i have a feelin that this is gonna be a hard one to fight... please dont be too hard on me yeah? please... dont....
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Dylan-Dylan
Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
I will not go down under the ground
"Cause somebody tells me that death's comin' 'round
An' I will not carry myself down to die
When I go to my grave my head will be high,
Let me die in my footsteps
Before I go down under the ground.
There's been rumors of war and wars that have been
The meaning of the life has been lost in the wind
And some people thinkin' that the end is close by
"Stead of learnin' to live they are learning to die.
Let me die in my footsteps
Before I go down under the ground.
I don't know if I'm smart but I think I can see
When someone is pullin' the wool over me
And if this war comes and death's all around
Let me die on this land 'fore I die underground.
Let me die in my footsteps
Before I go down under the ground.
There's always been people that have to cause fear
They've been talking of the war now for many long years
I have read all their statements and I've not said a word
But now Lawd God, let my poor voice be heard.
Let me die in my footsteps
Before I go down under the ground.
If I had rubies and riches and crowns
I'd buy the whole world and change things around
I'd throw all the guns and the tanks in the sea
For they are mistakes of a past history.
Let me die in my footsteps
Before I go down under the ground.
Let me drink from the waters where the mountain streams flood
Let me smell of wildflowers flow free through my blood
Let me sleep in your meadows with the green grassy leaves
Let me walk down the highway with my brother in peace.
Let me die in my footsteps
Before I go down under the ground.
Go out in your country where the land meets the sun
See the craters and the canyons where the waterfalls run
Nevada, New Mexico, Arizona, Idaho
Let every state in this union seep in your souls.
And you'll die in your footsteps
Before you go down under the ground.
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
I will not go down under the ground
"Cause somebody tells me that death's comin' 'round
An' I will not carry myself down to die
When I go to my grave my head will be high,
Let me die in my footsteps
Before I go down under the ground.
There's been rumors of war and wars that have been
The meaning of the life has been lost in the wind
And some people thinkin' that the end is close by
"Stead of learnin' to live they are learning to die.
Let me die in my footsteps
Before I go down under the ground.
I don't know if I'm smart but I think I can see
When someone is pullin' the wool over me
And if this war comes and death's all around
Let me die on this land 'fore I die underground.
Let me die in my footsteps
Before I go down under the ground.
There's always been people that have to cause fear
They've been talking of the war now for many long years
I have read all their statements and I've not said a word
But now Lawd God, let my poor voice be heard.
Let me die in my footsteps
Before I go down under the ground.
If I had rubies and riches and crowns
I'd buy the whole world and change things around
I'd throw all the guns and the tanks in the sea
For they are mistakes of a past history.
Let me die in my footsteps
Before I go down under the ground.
Let me drink from the waters where the mountain streams flood
Let me smell of wildflowers flow free through my blood
Let me sleep in your meadows with the green grassy leaves
Let me walk down the highway with my brother in peace.
Let me die in my footsteps
Before I go down under the ground.
Go out in your country where the land meets the sun
See the craters and the canyons where the waterfalls run
Nevada, New Mexico, Arizona, Idaho
Let every state in this union seep in your souls.
And you'll die in your footsteps
Before you go down under the ground.
Sunday, May 08, 2005
driving slow on sunday morning...
Yep. First lesson in Leeds and it snows, so it seems appropriate that the first lesson in Singapore is accompanied by a downpour. Wonder if I'll be allowed to take the wheel today.
But the point is, i've got all this wonderful rain going on and I can't stay in bed or get to starbucks!
But the point is, i've got all this wonderful rain going on and I can't stay in bed or get to starbucks!
Saturday, May 07, 2005
today
http://tomorrow.sg/archives/2005/05/06/acidflask_replies_to_cna_report.html
seems like the only way i can be happy is to not want to do what i want to do. to feel nothing. Getting out doesnt even help anymore.
seems like the only way i can be happy is to not want to do what i want to do. to feel nothing. Getting out doesnt even help anymore.
Friday, May 06, 2005
Thursday, May 05, 2005
haiz...i cant help but to feel sad to see you online right now...haha
Thursday, 05 May 2005, 8:43am
Starbucks, Singapore
No inspiration. Perhaps I had my coffee a little too quickly. Getting the high now and cannot really think.
So there - first night passed without incident. Cant deny that the supernatural chitchat has gotten to me. Will explore later... meeting early today.
Starbucks, Singapore
No inspiration. Perhaps I had my coffee a little too quickly. Getting the high now and cannot really think.
So there - first night passed without incident. Cant deny that the supernatural chitchat has gotten to me. Will explore later... meeting early today.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Directions
i want to be zipping around in my peugeot, getting things organised for this huge ass moet chandon party - a gathering of the biggest, blingest, glamest A list celebs - and raise a couple of million dollars to build schools for children in Africa
Monday, May 02, 2005
The Power of Duets, I play by his rules
A duet must always be sung by two. When it's adapted as a solo, it just loses so much. The beauty of a duet is not in the quality of voice but the way two different voices entwine to communicate the same message, one that articulates, more than the most well-penned lyrics, the joy of the union or the pain of the separation. The sheer intensity of the duet can move like no solo can. In a performance, its even more obvious. Where a lone singer can have a stage presence that inspires an audience, a couple can captivate and mesmerise the audience with the chemistry that binds them. The emotion is most palpable.
**-**
I've been blessed by God to be able to do what I've been doing. Everything you see, everything that you hear was a gift from God and it's my responsibility to use it to do his work.
Not the exact quote but its the essence. I wonder how many feel this way. That they were made this way to fulfill a higher purpose. What's your higher purpose?
**-**
I've been blessed by God to be able to do what I've been doing. Everything you see, everything that you hear was a gift from God and it's my responsibility to use it to do his work.
Not the exact quote but its the essence. I wonder how many feel this way. That they were made this way to fulfill a higher purpose. What's your higher purpose?
Saturday, April 30, 2005
I'm addicted to..
Clubbing. Lose yourself in the music the momment you own it you better never let it go. that's just it i guess. haha. i'm such a selfish clubber.. sorry guys,but when the music's that hot.. man its so easy to let go!
When the bodies bumping against you, the thumping in your ear, that sliding of the soles of your shoes become your world where there is only you. where in the middle of that jam-packed dance floor you exist only to obey the beats and rythms and you allow yourself to move, flow, be whatever you want. where your thoughts are allowed to become fantasies, and you can make them almost real And the music becomes that sensuous body pressed up against you, hands that slide up and down your body, hungrily seeking the most intimate contact. And the music becomes a sexiness that grooves in tandem as if it is the only being that is in touch with the essence of what you are.
there is this.. connection when the music is not a second entity anymore, when the communication is internal,is a sharing of highs and lows. i guess visually, its like when you superimpose two images that sway to the same beat but gradually merge into each other. if someone who understands this tells me that its better than sex i wouldnt be too surprised. how else, where else, can you find such a primal, complete one-ness that feels so real and so .. right. its feels like it's something i was born to experience. the only way i have found to surrender myself and completely..... trust.
When the bodies bumping against you, the thumping in your ear, that sliding of the soles of your shoes become your world where there is only you. where in the middle of that jam-packed dance floor you exist only to obey the beats and rythms and you allow yourself to move, flow, be whatever you want. where your thoughts are allowed to become fantasies, and you can make them almost real And the music becomes that sensuous body pressed up against you, hands that slide up and down your body, hungrily seeking the most intimate contact. And the music becomes a sexiness that grooves in tandem as if it is the only being that is in touch with the essence of what you are.
there is this.. connection when the music is not a second entity anymore, when the communication is internal,is a sharing of highs and lows. i guess visually, its like when you superimpose two images that sway to the same beat but gradually merge into each other. if someone who understands this tells me that its better than sex i wouldnt be too surprised. how else, where else, can you find such a primal, complete one-ness that feels so real and so .. right. its feels like it's something i was born to experience. the only way i have found to surrender myself and completely..... trust.
Your Seduction Style: The Coquette |
 You are a pro at playing the age old game of hard to get. Your flirting style runs hot and cold, giving just enough to keep them chasing you. Independent and self-sufficient, you don't need any one person to make you compelte. And that independence is exactly what makes people pursue you. |
How true is this?
Your Birthdate: January 22 |
While sometimes employing unorthodox approaches, you are capable of handling large scale undertakings. You assume great responsibility and work long and hard toward completion. Often, especially in the early part of life, there is rigidity or stubbornness, and a tendency to repress feelings. Idealistic, you work for the greater good with a good deal of inner strength and charisma. An extremely capable organizer, but likely to paint with broad strokes rather than detail. You are very aware and intuitive. You are subject to a good deal of nervous tension. |
Good Morning!
I am up at 930am. On a saturday.3004 guys... 20 big 20 small. Please remember to share!
& Thanks guys for a G.R.E.A.T. Night!!
& Thanks guys for a G.R.E.A.T. Night!!
Thursday, April 28, 2005
I'm using mac's wi fi at bucks.. i love this! haha, so cheapo
Hmm.. the inspiration today is… rain.
Yep, even after england, its still one of my favourite weather condition of all time… so here I am ,Caramel Macchiato and peachy danish on the table with my lappy.. its quite.. peaceful.. Usher helps too I guess ; ) but of course, now that its raining, I cannot hop over to Mac to upload this.
Hmmm. I love Starbucks, have I told anyone that lately? Haha.. Its really great to have some down time (right at the start of the day at that!) to think about all things idle… I love this life. Why isnt there a bucks near my office? But right now, for once in the longest time, I’m too happy to quarrel with that : )
Yep, even after england, its still one of my favourite weather condition of all time… so here I am ,Caramel Macchiato and peachy danish on the table with my lappy.. its quite.. peaceful.. Usher helps too I guess ; ) but of course, now that its raining, I cannot hop over to Mac to upload this.
Hmmm. I love Starbucks, have I told anyone that lately? Haha.. Its really great to have some down time (right at the start of the day at that!) to think about all things idle… I love this life. Why isnt there a bucks near my office? But right now, for once in the longest time, I’m too happy to quarrel with that : )
With the last bit of caramel macchiato
I'm still awake and i've got a meeting at 9. Liverpool... will it be too much for you to beat Chelsea?
its amazing my capacity to do work without knowing wht i'm doing.. sigh.. guess i'll have more substantial stuff to blog tmr morning at bucks... no inspirationnow.
bye bye
its amazing my capacity to do work without knowing wht i'm doing.. sigh.. guess i'll have more substantial stuff to blog tmr morning at bucks... no inspirationnow.
bye bye
Sunday, April 24, 2005
Weekends
As weekends come and go, I don't remember which is which but for the past month, I've had the most enriching weekends in a long time. Meeting new people, experiencing new things... its really creating a life for myself.. haha.. sounds greater than it is? Perhaps. But I'm really happy that I'm doing the things i wanna do, with luck, I'll probably find people to do them with. If not,then the options are there.
This weekend.. man.. blew alot on food and music... ohmygosh.. diaper dudes on Oprah's World's Biggest Baby Shower... Someday, That'll be me -grin-
This weekend.. man.. blew alot on food and music... ohmygosh.. diaper dudes on Oprah's World's Biggest Baby Shower... Someday, That'll be me -grin-
Saturday, April 23, 2005
rant. i hate being
STOP BEING OLD! For goodness sake... it'll only be like this for another year or so... once its over.. there'll just be so much fucking regret all the times you tried to be what you're not. and when you do, you're gonna be absolutely miserable and guess what - you won't be able to do squat about it. as they say 'Suck it up'
you know the best way out of this might just be that - out. out of this lack of thought, lack of opinion, lack of motivation, fuck crystal palace scored, lack of variety of anything other than oily, unhealthy, AVERAGE food. Yes that's it.. this is such a fucking AVERAGE place. Where everyone lives in their own selfish cocoon of comfort , in this cultural, moral fucking desert. no lows, of course. No trouble, no unrest, no uprising, no strike, no inspiration, no energy, no bloody diversity other than the colour of our skin, no ideology other than pragmatism and money, no Life no spirit, no soul, no emotion, no passion, no fucking sense of self worth looking at how we're willing to work more for less, all in the FEAR that the chinese/indian etc national living down the street will do it. so do you really thing that if singaporeas suddenly decide that they wont work for crap wages the govt will say 'ok lets employ the cheaper labour then'? if you do then i'll say that the Powers that be is SO royally screwing up in their jobs but dont worry, your people still love you despite your abusing them, oppressing them coz you know, they never really had freedom or rights so.. they really don't know what they're missing.
Really.. this place is an unbelievable homeland. Utterly Fake. Completely Thoughtless (and please, this does NOT mean inconsiderate you engineered lemmings. I hate this place... this totally WRETCHED, controlled, AAAAAAAAAAAAA.IT SUCKS. ITS CRAP. WHAT FUCKING GOOD IS THIS PLACE WHEN THE BEST THING IT DOES FOR YOU IS TO GIVE YOU THE FUCKING ABILITY TO UP AND LEAVE? I HATE THIS PLACE. IT SUCKS. HUM FUCKING DRUM OF EVERYDAY ROUTINE IS FUCKING BORING. YOU TAKE SQUAT FROM THIS LIFE. AND IT GIVES BACK NOTHING. NO BLOODY SATISFACTION, NO COMFORT. NO INSPIRATION, EVERYONE'S DOING THE BLOODY SAME THING. DAY IN DAY OUT DAY IN DAY OUT DAY IN DAY OUT DAY IN DAY OUT DAY IN DAY OUT. just kill me please. i am not living. i am a mere economic digit. my greatest contribution is to the f&b industry and in ten years, the healthcare industry and in the next twenty, fertilising the secondary forests.
i dont think i can do this anymore.
but don't worry about me. i'm well trained. will get over this in a bit and chalk it up to pms.. have been doing for the past 21 and according to the above calcuations, will continue to do so in..... the next 30.
have a nice life
you know the best way out of this might just be that - out. out of this lack of thought, lack of opinion, lack of motivation, fuck crystal palace scored, lack of variety of anything other than oily, unhealthy, AVERAGE food. Yes that's it.. this is such a fucking AVERAGE place. Where everyone lives in their own selfish cocoon of comfort , in this cultural, moral fucking desert. no lows, of course. No trouble, no unrest, no uprising, no strike, no inspiration, no energy, no bloody diversity other than the colour of our skin, no ideology other than pragmatism and money, no Life no spirit, no soul, no emotion, no passion, no fucking sense of self worth looking at how we're willing to work more for less, all in the FEAR that the chinese/indian etc national living down the street will do it. so do you really thing that if singaporeas suddenly decide that they wont work for crap wages the govt will say 'ok lets employ the cheaper labour then'? if you do then i'll say that the Powers that be is SO royally screwing up in their jobs but dont worry, your people still love you despite your abusing them, oppressing them coz you know, they never really had freedom or rights so.. they really don't know what they're missing.
Really.. this place is an unbelievable homeland. Utterly Fake. Completely Thoughtless (and please, this does NOT mean inconsiderate you engineered lemmings. I hate this place... this totally WRETCHED, controlled, AAAAAAAAAAAAA.IT SUCKS. ITS CRAP. WHAT FUCKING GOOD IS THIS PLACE WHEN THE BEST THING IT DOES FOR YOU IS TO GIVE YOU THE FUCKING ABILITY TO UP AND LEAVE? I HATE THIS PLACE. IT SUCKS. HUM FUCKING DRUM OF EVERYDAY ROUTINE IS FUCKING BORING. YOU TAKE SQUAT FROM THIS LIFE. AND IT GIVES BACK NOTHING. NO BLOODY SATISFACTION, NO COMFORT. NO INSPIRATION, EVERYONE'S DOING THE BLOODY SAME THING. DAY IN DAY OUT DAY IN DAY OUT DAY IN DAY OUT DAY IN DAY OUT DAY IN DAY OUT. just kill me please. i am not living. i am a mere economic digit. my greatest contribution is to the f&b industry and in ten years, the healthcare industry and in the next twenty, fertilising the secondary forests.
i dont think i can do this anymore.
but don't worry about me. i'm well trained. will get over this in a bit and chalk it up to pms.. have been doing for the past 21 and according to the above calcuations, will continue to do so in..... the next 30.
have a nice life
Monday, April 18, 2005
There.
You know how when someone says something and it sweeps you off your feet, sets your pulse racing, makes your palms go clammy and your toes curl and there's this bubbling inside you thats rising and rising and all of a sudden its all you can do to not let it out?!
I dont.
I dont.
Sunday, April 17, 2005
Uninspired
The Open Singapore Centre will hold a public forum entitled
The Death Penalty and the Rule of Law in Singapore
on 16 April 2005 (Saturday) at 2:00 pm
at Hotel Asia, 37 Scotts Road, Singapore 228229
What can I say? These groups need to have more credibility. Sadly, just having a passion for a cause isnt going to convince many. Holding a forum in a little known hotel - fine, the top ones are probably either fully booked or too costly. And I'm being naive here. But to have no working air-conditioning, projection system that looked like it had a life of its own and a sound system that gave more feedback then the people there...its these things that show how un-together the organisers and by association, the speakers are.
And the moderation. I appreciate that the organisers do not have had the funds to engage a professional. But they didn't have to. All they needed was someone who knew what he/she was talking about. That would've made the session so much more engaging.
And please, there is no need to react so pettily and childishly to that officer. A simple announcement that he was here to check on whatever would have sufficed. The ridiculing, hysterics and defensiveness just goes to show how readily you would poke fun, without reason, at anything related to the authority. What was the point in all of that? Angering the police so that they would be even fussier? Like you said, Singaporeans are educated and informed enough to interpret what they are seeing. If they feel that it was an unecessary move by the authorities, then that is what they will feel and that is what will be communicated. Why let this message be overshadowed by the obvious show of lack of maturity?
There are those who say that opposition political parties are not the way to go in Singapore simply because there is a lack in difference of ideologies. We are economically driven and it would be hard to argue a different view. Maybe what we need are NGOs that, political or not, will champion their views on different issues.
But most importantly, we need a CREDIBLE entity to inspire us. The job is simple. The Government is not particularly inspiring right now, is it? That's half your battle won.
The Death Penalty and the Rule of Law in Singapore
on 16 April 2005 (Saturday) at 2:00 pm
at Hotel Asia, 37 Scotts Road, Singapore 228229
What can I say? These groups need to have more credibility. Sadly, just having a passion for a cause isnt going to convince many. Holding a forum in a little known hotel - fine, the top ones are probably either fully booked or too costly. And I'm being naive here. But to have no working air-conditioning, projection system that looked like it had a life of its own and a sound system that gave more feedback then the people there...its these things that show how un-together the organisers and by association, the speakers are.
And the moderation. I appreciate that the organisers do not have had the funds to engage a professional. But they didn't have to. All they needed was someone who knew what he/she was talking about. That would've made the session so much more engaging.
And please, there is no need to react so pettily and childishly to that officer. A simple announcement that he was here to check on whatever would have sufficed. The ridiculing, hysterics and defensiveness just goes to show how readily you would poke fun, without reason, at anything related to the authority. What was the point in all of that? Angering the police so that they would be even fussier? Like you said, Singaporeans are educated and informed enough to interpret what they are seeing. If they feel that it was an unecessary move by the authorities, then that is what they will feel and that is what will be communicated. Why let this message be overshadowed by the obvious show of lack of maturity?
There are those who say that opposition political parties are not the way to go in Singapore simply because there is a lack in difference of ideologies. We are economically driven and it would be hard to argue a different view. Maybe what we need are NGOs that, political or not, will champion their views on different issues.
But most importantly, we need a CREDIBLE entity to inspire us. The job is simple. The Government is not particularly inspiring right now, is it? That's half your battle won.
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
junkie
I am an adrenaline junkie. in a perpetual need to feel but too afraid. hence i create my own euphoria that is not happiness. to come down from a high that is not disappointment. to live so intensely that there can be nothing more to experience but never, ever feeling.
i am going to sleep now.
i am going to sleep now.
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
one minute.. and then the next
Sometimes i wonder if people in relationships have a tendency to want to divorce (this is such a bad word to use) their 'normal' life with their romantic relationships. I'm really basing my comments on hardly any experience and a couple of anecdotes around so this probably qualifies as another random brainwave.
For example, taking the length of a blog as a measure of how affected a person is by the topic, its not uncommon that 'love' as a topic usually has an entire entry dedicated to it while diary entry types cover a whole lot more issues. And these 'love' entries can take on a completely different tone, attitude, even personality from the other entries.
I guess its also the 'delayed telecast' effect of blogs where you only get very intense expressions and at such regular intervals that one seems to not relate with the other. guess what i'm trying to say that its very disturbing to read a jolly entry and then another which is one day apart yet completely depressing, morbid and pessimistic. but it is nice to see the dreary and tired suddenly become.. energised and.. glowing.
-smile-
For example, taking the length of a blog as a measure of how affected a person is by the topic, its not uncommon that 'love' as a topic usually has an entire entry dedicated to it while diary entry types cover a whole lot more issues. And these 'love' entries can take on a completely different tone, attitude, even personality from the other entries.
I guess its also the 'delayed telecast' effect of blogs where you only get very intense expressions and at such regular intervals that one seems to not relate with the other. guess what i'm trying to say that its very disturbing to read a jolly entry and then another which is one day apart yet completely depressing, morbid and pessimistic. but it is nice to see the dreary and tired suddenly become.. energised and.. glowing.
-smile-
Thanks for the assurance.. and apathy
You know, when one bares ones soul of insecurities, it would be politically incorrect but one would expect some form of reassurance that one is not that vulnerable and no one really thinks one is shallow and irrational. Generally. And honestly, a -grin- is not the least bit assuring at all. But thank you very much all the same.
Crap aside,the past two weeks have been a rediscovery of current affairs for me. Quite ashamed to say that I was so out of it in the first place. I wonder if all those wishes I made about 'why can't i be a complete ditz and worry more about whether my nail polish matches my eyes?' are finally catching up with me. (Although to be quite frank, its more like 'whats for dinner?' right now) I guess the worst part about it is that it makes me feel so removed from the real issues of the world like race and gender discrimination, the alternative lifestyle, human rights, lack of education for children and poverty. stuff. What really scared me was how could so easily joke about dropping the A-Bomb on Africa as a form of population control. 'That's a sure way to eliminate Third World Debt' I remember saying. Goodness.. it must have been what...3 years at least, since I was cracking that kinda jokes. Horrible.
So what does that make me now huh? Am I still.. real? Have I become.... Singaporean?
Crap aside,the past two weeks have been a rediscovery of current affairs for me. Quite ashamed to say that I was so out of it in the first place. I wonder if all those wishes I made about 'why can't i be a complete ditz and worry more about whether my nail polish matches my eyes?' are finally catching up with me. (Although to be quite frank, its more like 'whats for dinner?' right now) I guess the worst part about it is that it makes me feel so removed from the real issues of the world like race and gender discrimination, the alternative lifestyle, human rights, lack of education for children and poverty. stuff. What really scared me was how could so easily joke about dropping the A-Bomb on Africa as a form of population control. 'That's a sure way to eliminate Third World Debt' I remember saying. Goodness.. it must have been what...3 years at least, since I was cracking that kinda jokes. Horrible.
So what does that make me now huh? Am I still.. real? Have I become.... Singaporean?
Sunday, April 10, 2005
My blog
Reading new blogs always makes me go back to mine and for the first time.. I wondered if my thoughtless ramblings would be too embarassing to show everyone.. haha. I don't think it's a matter of giving people too much insight to my life coz the entries are so cryptic that even I barely remember what they're about.
Guess I'm just wondering what kinda impression these ... entries (forgive me, i really couldn't find an adjective for them) give. haha...
Guess I'm just wondering what kinda impression these ... entries (forgive me, i really couldn't find an adjective for them) give. haha...
Saturday, April 09, 2005
Singapore Arts Festival 2005
Programme
Bang on a can all stars
Gumbo Jumbo
Aparition
Late Shows
Don’t let sleeping androids lie
Looking at the sky
Rock on
Drumming explosion
stroj
A regular one night stand
Skylight
If anyone's interested in attending the above performances with me, gimme a shout yeah? some are FOC and most of you would be able to get student prices for tix. more info at http://www.singaporeartsfest.com/
Bang on a can all stars
Gumbo Jumbo
Aparition
Late Shows
Don’t let sleeping androids lie
Looking at the sky
Rock on
Drumming explosion
stroj
A regular one night stand
Skylight
If anyone's interested in attending the above performances with me, gimme a shout yeah? some are FOC and most of you would be able to get student prices for tix. more info at http://www.singaporeartsfest.com/
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
My PMS Song - Enjoy
So, i am here
i am now
tomorrow;s yet to be
yet to be the end
of today
in a bit
pms
pms
pms
pms
oo-ooh pms
ithink it ends here
starts there
into it
and then
aaaaaaaa X 3
Repeat chorus til mute
i am now
tomorrow;s yet to be
yet to be the end
of today
in a bit
pms
pms
pms
pms
oo-ooh pms
ithink it ends here
starts there
into it
and then
aaaaaaaa X 3
Repeat chorus til mute
Saturday, April 02, 2005
Its just one of the things you wanna say "Never" to
"Untitled"
I open my eyes
I try to see but I’m blinded by the white light
I can’t remember how
I can’t remember why
I’m lying here tonight
And I can’t stand the pain
And I can’t make it go away
No I can’t stand the pain
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
Everybody’s screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I’m slipping off the edge
I’m hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can’t explain what happened
And I can’t erase the things that I’ve done
No I can’t
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me - SP
I open my eyes
I try to see but I’m blinded by the white light
I can’t remember how
I can’t remember why
I’m lying here tonight
And I can’t stand the pain
And I can’t make it go away
No I can’t stand the pain
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
Everybody’s screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I’m slipping off the edge
I’m hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again
So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can’t explain what happened
And I can’t erase the things that I’ve done
No I can’t
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
I made my mistakes
I’ve got no where to run
The night goes on
As I’m fading away
I’m sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me - SP
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
blog2903
Ok.. who's saucy? I have NOTHING interesting or vaguely not-boring to announce to the world.. except that I have been having the runs for the better part of last week. keep going to the loo everytime i eat.. quite irritating since it is quite painful, tiring, and jolly squat comes out. Not even enough to result in any significant loss in weight.
and anonymous! maybe tigers and lions can rule the earth next? or rabbits! they'll get it done fast enough. I duno.. the world might need you even though the sods living in it dont know that? quite the self sacrifice to carry on living for their benefirt isnt it? Hmm.. would I be the Matyr kind? and should everyone who dont see a point in living just die? well.. its the case of 'some people see whats there and ask why, i see whats not there and ask why not'. So why should we live? why shouldnt we die?
duno. please dont take this blog as a reflection of anything more than caffeine overload. I'm really alright if notramblingandnotreallythinkingstraightorcoherently.
and anonymous! maybe tigers and lions can rule the earth next? or rabbits! they'll get it done fast enough. I duno.. the world might need you even though the sods living in it dont know that? quite the self sacrifice to carry on living for their benefirt isnt it? Hmm.. would I be the Matyr kind? and should everyone who dont see a point in living just die? well.. its the case of 'some people see whats there and ask why, i see whats not there and ask why not'. So why should we live? why shouldnt we die?
duno. please dont take this blog as a reflection of anything more than caffeine overload. I'm really alright if notramblingandnotreallythinkingstraightorcoherently.
Thursday, March 24, 2005
If no one in the world needs you.
And you are not essential to anything.
What is the point of living?
What is the point of living?
Thursday, March 10, 2005
Bloggie died!
So my previous entry was wiped out before publishing.. nmind.. here are the essentials:
Max! Coffee sometime?
want becomes need when... you cannot tahan anymore... but you decide your own tahan limits right? so its up to you.. except when it comes to food
aaaand.. i'm not calling pple names!
Max! Coffee sometime?
want becomes need when... you cannot tahan anymore... but you decide your own tahan limits right? so its up to you.. except when it comes to food
aaaand.. i'm not calling pple names!
Monday, March 07, 2005
Happy things
Sometimes, you find something that makes you insanely happy. Even the most inane, bimbotic, illogical stuff can make you grin like a silly idiot. Keep them around you. It helps. And I love them!
When I fall.
If I ever.. haha. gosh if I ever become a sap I'd kick my own ass to mars and back. A hard nosed bitch yeah.? He-ey!
Thursday, March 03, 2005
U2 - Is this song for myself or you?
Tough, you think you`ve got the stuff
You`re telling me and anyone
You`re hard enough
You don`t have to put up a fight
You don`t have to always be right
Let me take some of the punches
For you tonight
Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don`t have to go it alone
And it`s you when I look in the mirror
And it`s you when I don`t pick up the phone
Sometimes you can`t make it on your own
We fight all the time
You and I... that`s alright
We`re the same soul
I don`t need... I don`t need to hear you say
That if we weren`t so alike
You`d like me a whole lot more
Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don`t have to go it alone
And it`s you when I look in the mirror
And it`s you when I don`t pick up the phone
Sometimes you can`t make it on your own
I know that we don`t talk
I`m sick of it all
Can you hear me when I Sing,
you`re the reason I sing
You`re the reason why the opera is in me
Where are we now?
I`ve got to let you know
A house still doesn`t make a home
Don`t leave me here alone
And it`s you when I look in the mirror
And it`s you that makes it hard to let go
Sometimes you can`t make it on your own
Sometimes you can`t make it
The best you can do is to fake it
Sometimes you can`t make it on your own
You`re telling me and anyone
You`re hard enough
You don`t have to put up a fight
You don`t have to always be right
Let me take some of the punches
For you tonight
Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don`t have to go it alone
And it`s you when I look in the mirror
And it`s you when I don`t pick up the phone
Sometimes you can`t make it on your own
We fight all the time
You and I... that`s alright
We`re the same soul
I don`t need... I don`t need to hear you say
That if we weren`t so alike
You`d like me a whole lot more
Listen to me now
I need to let you know
You don`t have to go it alone
And it`s you when I look in the mirror
And it`s you when I don`t pick up the phone
Sometimes you can`t make it on your own
I know that we don`t talk
I`m sick of it all
Can you hear me when I Sing,
you`re the reason I sing
You`re the reason why the opera is in me
Where are we now?
I`ve got to let you know
A house still doesn`t make a home
Don`t leave me here alone
And it`s you when I look in the mirror
And it`s you that makes it hard to let go
Sometimes you can`t make it on your own
Sometimes you can`t make it
The best you can do is to fake it
Sometimes you can`t make it on your own
Sunday, February 27, 2005
boy/girl - brains?
Your Brain is 46.67% Female, 53.33% Male
I'd really like to meet whoever has a completely female/male brain.. Be interesting don't you think?
I'd really like to meet whoever has a completely female/male brain.. Be interesting don't you think?
boy/girl - brains?
| Your Brain is 46.67% Female, 53.33% Male |
Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female You are both sensitive and savvy Rational and reasonable, you tend to keep level headed But you also tend to wear your heart on your sleeve |
What Gender Is Your Brain?
I'd like to know who has a completely girl/boy brain.. That'd be interesting don't you think?
Saturday, February 26, 2005
NOTICE
ok in case anyone gets to thinking about my last entry. I was just listening to the punk version of the song and thought it was cute. heh
so it was it last night. heh.. guess i had a taste of how it was when i left for leeds... mildly though i think. hope. heh
But it was truly amazing, your talent and what you did for us. Bless ya!
so it was it last night. heh.. guess i had a taste of how it was when i left for leeds... mildly though i think. hope. heh
But it was truly amazing, your talent and what you did for us. Bless ya!
Wednesday, February 23, 2005
Suggestive? I'd like to think of it as.. provocative..
Imagine me and you, I do
I think about you day and night
It's only right
To think about the girl you love
And hold her tightS
o happy together
If I should call you up
Invest a dime
And you say you belong to me
That you are mine
Imagine how the world would be
So very fine
So happy together
I can't see me loving nobody but you
For all my life
When you're with me
Baby the skies will be blue
For all my life
Me and you
And you and me
No matter how they toss the dice
It had to be
The only one for me is you
And you for me
So happy together
I can't see me loving nobody but you
For all my life
When you're with me
Baby the skies will be blue
For all my life
Me and you
And you and me
No matter how I toss the dice
It's hard to see
The only one for me is you
And you for me
So happy together
Ba ba ba ba...
Me and you
And you and me
No matter how they toss the dice
It had to be
The only one for me is you
And you for me
So happy together
So happy together
So happy together
How is the weather
Ba ba ba ba...
check out the punk versh.. so adorable! haha..
I think about you day and night
It's only right
To think about the girl you love
And hold her tightS
o happy together
If I should call you up
Invest a dime
And you say you belong to me
That you are mine
Imagine how the world would be
So very fine
So happy together
I can't see me loving nobody but you
For all my life
When you're with me
Baby the skies will be blue
For all my life
Me and you
And you and me
No matter how they toss the dice
It had to be
The only one for me is you
And you for me
So happy together
I can't see me loving nobody but you
For all my life
When you're with me
Baby the skies will be blue
For all my life
Me and you
And you and me
No matter how I toss the dice
It's hard to see
The only one for me is you
And you for me
So happy together
Ba ba ba ba...
Me and you
And you and me
No matter how they toss the dice
It had to be
The only one for me is you
And you for me
So happy together
So happy together
So happy together
How is the weather
Ba ba ba ba...
check out the punk versh.. so adorable! haha..
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
Anonymous
Thanks for the reassurance, needs are not worth living for. Hell, arent they what sustain you so that you can experience your wants?
But anyways, I've just gone through a full TWO hours of hot men frm Desperate Housewives and Vegas.. so I'm quite happy to put aside my discontentment with life and indulge in a little fantasy... If you can't have it, Imagine it.
Maybe thats why the powers that be gave us an imagination. Probably knew right from the start that we;re never gonna get what we want.. some get more, some less but never everything... so that's what the imagination is for!
Brilliant! So I'm off to practice getting what I'll never have!
But anyways, I've just gone through a full TWO hours of hot men frm Desperate Housewives and Vegas.. so I'm quite happy to put aside my discontentment with life and indulge in a little fantasy... If you can't have it, Imagine it.
Maybe thats why the powers that be gave us an imagination. Probably knew right from the start that we;re never gonna get what we want.. some get more, some less but never everything... so that's what the imagination is for!
Brilliant! So I'm off to practice getting what I'll never have!
Sunday, February 20, 2005
Imagine..
Its a starry night, on a deck chair.
Maitai in hand, Candle.
Soft swish of waves.
Rio Moods.
Bliss.
Maitai in hand, Candle.
Soft swish of waves.
Rio Moods.
Bliss.
Friday, February 18, 2005
so how
I want to go and be sexy.
I want to be wildly successful.
I want to more than just be.
I want to LIVE.
I want to lose myself. In music, in dance, in a passion.
I want I want I want.
One thing that told me I'd grown up was when I knew the difference between what I want and what I need. So what happens when I want something badly enough. Does it become a need?
I could live without a want. But is that really living?
I want to be wildly successful.
I want to more than just be.
I want to LIVE.
I want to lose myself. In music, in dance, in a passion.
I want I want I want.
One thing that told me I'd grown up was when I knew the difference between what I want and what I need. So what happens when I want something badly enough. Does it become a need?
I could live without a want. But is that really living?
Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Valentines day
Ah.. not much., worked, story of my life. Quite surprised that I bitched/moaned/whined ALOT less this year about this wonderfully commercial and saccharine day of the year. If they had that Romancing Festival going on I'd have killed myself.
Oh well. so much for bitching less.
I guess I could try to be positive about it all but you know what - I'm not gonna kid myself. I'd DEFINITELY wanna have someone to spend a nice, cuddly, diabetically sweet St. Vs with but if its not happening, its not happening. Better one thats empty than one thats full of false pretenses that generally fall apart quite quickly. With me in the mix, it'll end up quite ugly as well.
So there. I am sincerely, genuinely (what;s with this repeating thing going on??) happy for you guys out there who had a nice St. Vs *hugs you all* and while waiting for my turn, I shall go find out how these french women stay thin in spite of the wine and cheese.
Oh well. so much for bitching less.
I guess I could try to be positive about it all but you know what - I'm not gonna kid myself. I'd DEFINITELY wanna have someone to spend a nice, cuddly, diabetically sweet St. Vs with but if its not happening, its not happening. Better one thats empty than one thats full of false pretenses that generally fall apart quite quickly. With me in the mix, it'll end up quite ugly as well.
So there. I am sincerely, genuinely (what;s with this repeating thing going on??) happy for you guys out there who had a nice St. Vs *hugs you all* and while waiting for my turn, I shall go find out how these french women stay thin in spite of the wine and cheese.
Monday, January 10, 2005
whether he is demon or human, he is him.
Parting quote frm Saiyuki. Yes, I'm 20 going on old age and still extremely affected by anime. last eps really gave me a sick feeling. was it the theme? was it the way the plot unfurled? was it the characters'... character? I dont know. Maybe it was something i ate at dinner. Maybe its coz i've got to work tmr. but i am depressed.
i hate it that sanzo still has to kill him. like at the end of it all, its never enough to know you're wrong, is it? there are always consequences to bear. I'd hate to be sanzo. 'If they turn violent on me, I'll shoot them dead myself.' He hasnt been put in that kinda situation and I hope they never write it. I'll shoot them dead myself.
good reality check? Well, I'll go to the nile for that. I don't think reality is that grim. Life should not be that grim. its WRONG.
I dont'think there's actually any logical reason for my outburst. just a gut reaction to the season finale. It dragged out long enough to get on my nerves, bordering on whiney but there's something else that really got me upset and I don't know what it is. i don't know what it is.
aaaarrrrgggghhhh! Its only Saiyuki that does this.. nothing else. Sometimes I'm even afraid to watch this things.. even listen to the soundtrack coz for one, it was associated with leaving and the themes that run thru the series.. spooks me out. I can't deal with it.
*cry*
i hate it that sanzo still has to kill him. like at the end of it all, its never enough to know you're wrong, is it? there are always consequences to bear. I'd hate to be sanzo. 'If they turn violent on me, I'll shoot them dead myself.' He hasnt been put in that kinda situation and I hope they never write it. I'll shoot them dead myself.
good reality check? Well, I'll go to the nile for that. I don't think reality is that grim. Life should not be that grim. its WRONG.
I dont'think there's actually any logical reason for my outburst. just a gut reaction to the season finale. It dragged out long enough to get on my nerves, bordering on whiney but there's something else that really got me upset and I don't know what it is. i don't know what it is.
aaaarrrrgggghhhh! Its only Saiyuki that does this.. nothing else. Sometimes I'm even afraid to watch this things.. even listen to the soundtrack coz for one, it was associated with leaving and the themes that run thru the series.. spooks me out. I can't deal with it.
*cry*
Sunday, January 09, 2005
well well
It's been a while since the new year begin and I guess this is really the first time I'm taking time out to think about... well just to think. Not that it's been really busy or anything. In fact, I'm really enjoying this time off where work is so much less intense and I've got time for friends and family and stuff. yeah. saiyuki anyone? So what's there been to think about...
Weddings. Ah. still way way down the road for me but having already attended one, well that sure hit home the PERMANANCE of the commitment.. like 'for the rest of your lives'. Is that major or what. Right now, except to my job, I don't see how I can even begin to think of making such a decision... Then, of course, there's always the issue of when... Like I said, don't see it on the roadmap for a loooooooooong while - and then some. Still, do I really want to get married at say...OLD AGE then have to face the fact that I cannot, instead of will not, have kids? Oh well.. lets find the stud first then see how.
For the rest of life, I don't think I really regret anything I've done in 2004... its more like what extra stuff I need in 2005. Like motivation, discipline and less weight. So I start of my year vegging around, putting off my to-do list and pigging out. Things can only get better.
Weddings. Ah. still way way down the road for me but having already attended one, well that sure hit home the PERMANANCE of the commitment.. like 'for the rest of your lives'. Is that major or what. Right now, except to my job, I don't see how I can even begin to think of making such a decision... Then, of course, there's always the issue of when... Like I said, don't see it on the roadmap for a loooooooooong while - and then some. Still, do I really want to get married at say...OLD AGE then have to face the fact that I cannot, instead of will not, have kids? Oh well.. lets find the stud first then see how.
For the rest of life, I don't think I really regret anything I've done in 2004... its more like what extra stuff I need in 2005. Like motivation, discipline and less weight. So I start of my year vegging around, putting off my to-do list and pigging out. Things can only get better.
Monday, January 03, 2005
Stoned
My biggest accomplishment today - Stoning. Yeah.. did a fair amount of it with Tush today at Bugis. Remembered how I enjoyed just watching people pass by without having any specific objective. Ah such Purposelessness!
Saturday, January 01, 2005
Hopes for 2005
Under the lone star, I tried to make a wish but realised that I didnt have one.
Have I got everything I need and don't need to wish for more?
Or do I not believe in Wishes anymore?
Duno man.
Have I got everything I need and don't need to wish for more?
Or do I not believe in Wishes anymore?
Duno man.
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