.Tuesday, October 02, 2012'
& i dunt want to be the one, left alone in the dark.
Have you ever felt something that is long gone already? Like trying to fix a jigsaw puzzle, but somehow you lost a few pieces in the past. At this point of fixing the puzzle, you cant help but feel helpless that you cant seem to cover up the hole from those missing pieces. You end up just feeling that this puzzle is not and unable to be completed. The feeling of emptiness that slowly creeps back but you cant seem to know why.
Life is like the puzzle. Each piece is an important step or moment of your life. Even if some pieces were spoilt or broken and you throw them away, the puzzle is incomplete without them. Each piece let you gain a additional view of the whole picture and when that piece is gone, looking back at it, it will not be the same anymore. But that is life. Time waits for no one. Time is always moving and one can never be able to reverse the effect.
Can one still have the feeling of sadness when one is at the stage of happiness.
.Friday, May 25, 2012'
& i dunt want to be the one, left alone in the dark.
The choices that you made in life can affect your future self and consequences can be such a bitch.
Your decided and impulsive choice could create havoc in the near future, which makes you think why did I sign up to do this? Some decisions cannot be changed or removed, hence coping with it, is difficult.
I did not think it through when I made my choices. Now I have to face the consequences of both. What am I supposed to do now?
.Sunday, June 20, 2010'
& i dunt want to be the one, left alone in the dark.
She looked at the reflection of her broken mirror.
With red and puffy eyes,
Tears rolled down the face of that girl.
Her table is in a mess
broken pieces of her mirror scattered all over.
Items thrown everywhere around her.
Looking at that girl,
In front of her lies a broken glass.
Everything felt hopeless.
She feel so useless.
Images flashes across her mind with hatred in her heart.
Every flash was like a knife piercing into her broken heart.
She just want to forget everything.
With every image and memory that injects into her mind,
she slits her hand with that broken glass.
1....
2....
3....
4...........
By the end of the 4th slit,
a pool of red blood covers the center portion of her table.
She do not feel the pain.
but rather the emotional pain held inside.
After some time,
her face became pale.
slowly, draining her blood away.
she felt more peace.
bit by bit
slowly forgetting those memories...
until there is no more.
At the very last memory of them,
she smiled at herself and closed her eyes.
with that, she fell to the ground..
gone, in an instance.
.Saturday, April 10, 2010'
& i dunt want to be the one, left alone in the dark.
She feels that her life is become empty, more like an empty shell.
Losing her sanity, her freedom, her everything.
No more motivation to carry on, to keep going forward.
She is so tired, not wanting to move any further.
Her feet is rooted to the ground.
Tree vines wrapping at her feet.
What are these forces overcoming her?
.Wednesday, December 16, 2009'
& i dunt want to be the one, left alone in the dark.
losing friendship...
friends come and go.
but, you still long for them.
you wont know how much you miss them until you lose them.
how can one maintain one's friendship for so long..
how can one rely on someone as their best friend,
if there isn't any to be closed to..
.Saturday, December 05, 2009'
& i dunt want to be the one, left alone in the dark.
As darkness falls,
Hope seems to fade away.
Every wish she had,
Every wish she made,
Will never come true.
Day by day,
Night by night.
Her heart grows heavier and heavier.
The feeling once kept in a locked room,
has been broken.
Slowly and painfully, the feeling increased again.
With those same old memories,
never once left her heart.
She thought that things would get over in time,
but boy she was wrong.
Time didnt get to her,
she will never get over it over time.
These old memories, once lingered ever so often,
had made things difficult to pass..
With each smiling moments, they sometimes turn otherwise.
Playing back each memory,
hurting more then before.
.Tuesday, November 24, 2009'
& i dunt want to be the one, left alone in the dark.
She locks herself in a dark room,
though she is afraid of the dark.
Sitting at a corner, hugging her knees tightly,
whispering to herself, saying...
"what did i do wrong, what did i do wrong."
Her mind is filled with flashes and flashes of light.
each a remembrance of the past or the present.
"Those happy times are now just the past." remembering..
It was just last year that those people were at her party,
but now, everyone just seems to disappear.
Was it her fault that she did not maintain those friendship properly.
Was that the reason why all what she once hold dearly is now, gone.
The more she thinks, the harder she falls,
griping her hair and pulling them ever so forcefully.
Though she does not understand why and how this happen,
But she knows is because she did or did not do something.
She dislike this feeling of loneliness,
she dislike this feeling of being outcast.
She hates the way she have treated her friends.
She hates the way why she was like that.
A scissors in one hand, and a bunch of hair in another.
With tears in her eyes,
she cuts her beautiful long hair.
snip!
The scissors cuts her hair in one swift cut.
but because in the total darkness of the room,
the scissors have no eyes to see,
that not only was it cutting her hair,
it was cutting her beautiful face.
Fresh blood oozed from that cut,
but the pain in her heart can never be compared.
with every forceful action of her wrist,
she manipulate her face with deep new slits..
Now, with both pain from inside and out,
each matching one and other.
she covers her face,
and closed her eyes, thinking..
She will never be able to face them again..
not like this,
Not with this bloody, scarred, face.
.Wednesday, November 18, 2009'
& i dunt want to be the one, left alone in the dark.
She is much more happier den before.
But why does she still feels empty.
The emptiness that fills her heart.
That vast space.
What is it for?
When ever she's alone,
that feeling will creep back to her.
Softly, bit by bit,
without noticing,
she slower began to form back to her old self.
Is that what she wants?
Then why is it so that a part of her yearns for that side of herself.
Why will she have this feeling.
.Tuesday, September 15, 2009'
& i dunt want to be the one, left alone in the dark.
Pieces of pieces, bricks of bricks.
Each stacking up high,
Higher and higher it will rise.
A wall built by each outcomes of such circumstances.
All done, each with my own two hands.
State of mind, slowly deteriorating away.
Unable to think logically of anything.
Just that same feeling, the feeling of despair.
That same thought, once gone, had came back to haunt her.
That very same thought was what she did not want to think again.
But so as it seems, it did.
Again and again.
why?
She has been thinking what did she do wrong,
why does it happen to her...
she dun know why...
.Sunday, September 13, 2009'
& i dunt want to be the one, left alone in the dark.
Was it repeated again?
Why...
If it keeps on happening...
Sooner or later, I wont be able to take it..
i wont...
