Imperfect Perfect

No one is perfect.

However, it is not with disappointment that I say this sentence. I guess it's more of learning about some truths in life which become more apparent as I grow up. Through conversations, I hear of people who are falling/have fallen. Sometimes, I hear of things totally unexpected of others. Many times, most of the juicy conversations centre around people. Although I hate to admit it, I think these exchanges are most often "gossips" and I'm ashamed to say that I find it interesting to engage in them sometimes.

I guess the idea of perfection stems from some kind of standards I impose on others. If I didn't have any expectations, everything could seem close to perfect or at least good-enough. But once I form some sort of expectations, I discount someone/something bit by bit when they fail to fulfil any of the expectations.

Expectations aren't negative or positive. But as most say, it's always the way we manage them. I think it's really true. It's sort of keeping the way of my assessment in check (or in control). For example, if I don't learn to manage my emotions, it is harmful for me because the sudden outburst of emotions most often than not affect people around me adversely. Likewise, if I don't manage my expectations, everything seems so horrible and turns me into a judgemental person.

Again, no one is perfect. But deep inside us, we always strive for some form of perfection (or at least I do). I don't think striving for perfection makes me a perfectionist. It just makes me acknowledge the fact even more acutely that perfection can never be attained, at least over here.

Well, as some wise people put it, the imperfect perfect. There is always something more beautiful beyond this and I look forward to that hope, when my expectations turn into reality.

"As it is written: "There is no one righteous, not even one;" - Romans 3:10

Contentment

I was just thinking about "Contentment". Why is it so hard to be contented? How do we know that it's enough? It's always easy to say that I want to live a contented life, yet the things I do in my everyday life doesn't quite seem to be congruent with what I say. Yesterday, someone spoke about "self gratification" and all of a sudden, this idea swept me powerfully.

You see, I've been procrastinating much in life recently, almost in everything I do. I do get things done eventually, but the inertia seems too great to surmount each time I want to get down to doing something. I know it's my fault and I can't blame anyne for my lackadaisical attitude. Maybe I've been wanting to pursue the little self gratifications in life like "Let me watch this episode first, and I'll be motivated to start on the assignment" or "Let me take a nap first and I'll be recharged to do this" or "Let me do this first and I'll do that"etc. I can think of a million excuses not to do something and somehow I guess it really boils down to self gratification. Sure there's nothing wrong in doing what you like, but I guess there are some things in life we are responsible to finish up first before we enjoy other stuffs later. Maybe I've been indulging too much in self gratification that subconsciously makes me drift away from my responsibilities in life.

So what's wrong with self gratification? I think it somehow links to the idea of contentment. When one pursues self gratification, the person focuses on the short term, instantaneous pleasures and ignores the future consequences/repercussions. The idea that you want to satsify your immediate self satisfaction does reveal somewhat that you are not very contented. For if you are contented, then often you'll not find yourself in want.

Wow what have I done to myself?? O.o

"Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you"" -Hebrews 13:5

A profound relief and satisfaction when I uncovered something I was afraid to discover. Some things happen for a reason, and some things don't happen for a reason too. I know it's April already, but I just made some resolutions. Come May, I'll make more wishes then.

Till then. Disappearing for a teeny weeny while.