jermie

And so u called. thanks for calling i missed talking to u so much u silly ediot.. u and your other commitments well dear ediot, the next time u call, i will tell u something Oh if onli i wont chicken out remember? u called and I said it was strange cos just the nite before i was talking to twig abt u well yea shld have taken the date down i will tell u... i have to... so please please dun call soon....

My Baptism so special... i got baptised together with my big little sis i din cry when i was writing my testimony I din cry when we had a session with the Session but i cried whn Aunty Sally sang her solo it was beautiful! it was perfect! i was so happy! i am at a loss for words. Dear Min put it very aptly in just one word.... which she repeated again and again and again and again and again and again... (get my drift?) FINALLY! ThankS youS! GUS - for making my baptism a special one, for taking this step of faith together with me. i never thought we would finally agree on something. Once Pastor said that this step will be so much more significant when taken with a like minded friend so that you will be able to remind and encourage each other. Min has Juli and I have YOU! wad better friend than a sista? for being the wonderful sista you are, for being so mature and for Just being you Min - for putting things into perspective, for being a fighter and a thinker, for listening ears...

I always like this time of the year. when everything is all red and green and white... haha ok white is when it is snowing but who cares its still my dreams. wonder what it will be like if s'pore's weatherman forecast snow i think i would be so freaked and happy my fren - the naysayer says if that were to happened then better start praying... its the end of the world. well... maybe but wont it be fun for once just for spore to have such awesome weather? hmmm... ok why do i like this time of the year? well, its coming to the end of the year.. signals the start of a new one. and who doesnt like the giving and the recieving of presents not to mention the good food the fantastic time of fellowship the christmas songs and the carolers the beautiful xmas tree at taka. have u seen it? the fat and jolly santa that goes HO HO HO when you press his tummy? or the spoilt kids screaming their heads off just because daddy says : " dont open the presents til xmas" and mum say: ...

Mr Harry Potter! wad a sore disappointment! been waiting ages to catch it and then to my horror it was horrendous. excuse the lack of adjectives. haha though the company was interesting! having brought two little boys along (ok fine nt so little already). Virus and Jon jOn... i decided to give these two a treat ok, a very belated birthday treat. so i bought their movies tix and mine too then i wanted to pay for POP corn and NAcHOs they were like NO! we pay cos you already paid for the movies tix... so ok i let them we were real early so sat thru the ads, more ads and more... til one of them said he was gonna throw up not cos of the ads but too much nachos and coke... haha so guess who had to finish the nachos? then the other one was surprising quiet and i found out the reason much later he needed to pee real badly so he din laugh or talk much well he did went during Yule Ball... then it ended.. just like tht it ended... went for macs and i lent one of them my half blood prince. hope i ...

the bomb has been dropped. BOOOM! My boss has decided that she cant keep all three of us... so she has decided to let one of us go no its NOT me but my other colleague.. and wid my colleague gone, i wld have more things to do... not like i haven got loads to do already.. my poor colleague but she's strong. i knw she can survive! i have so much faith in her. i dont know how to feel about this? i have been working here for quite a while already more like 4 mths... i like my job ... haha. its weird cos i din think i wld enjoy myself but i am.. with all the stress and the screaming boss but hey! i am really enjoying myself. :) i really am very thankful for nice and understanding colleagues. they are really the best to work with. esp when things get tough and there's no one to talk to someone who understands and yet wont backstab you. Oh! the scrapbook samples have arrived! FINALLLY! i am so loving them!! must show you soon, see if i can sneak a few shots sometime soon... haha :D i...

Its been a realli long wk. amazingly long... Well.. long because my boss seems to be in a horrific mood. every little thing we did came under intense scrutiny , it was horrible! and it was also the first time in a long time that i got a terrific scolding from my boss. it wasnt a pretty sight. she called on my mobile and screamed in my ear. that was during lunch... and i got chewed out for doing something that maybe i shldnt have taken the initiative for. well.. so when i got back aft lunch.. she called me into her office and got yelled at for the next few mins tho it felt like forever the air was tense and tight (dunno if tts the way to describe) but i was angry and i tell you i haven been angry in a long time it was like i blew a fuse or something. . . and its been such a long time... since i blew it but it was amazing cos i din show my anger. i just told myself to caLm down and explain myself before her. which i did... and it was ok but she sure still wasnt happy... i din l...

had to say bye to my ex-boss... like i said i am not a quitter and i cant bear to just leave when things are just so uncertain... and for once! something is finally going according to plan. I am going to get some real nice surprises soon well i do know what they are so not really that surprising but it sure is nice to know that there will be results soon... haha nah i wont spoil it yet.. even my boss doesnt know abt it yet til monday.. til monday... hahah even the suspense is killing me! haha :D but who cares once in a while, its good to get the heart pumping... haha you think? i'm just a little down because u cant make it cos i think you are really cute even den.. dampened my mood you cant. wonder where and how WEnn is? oh and there's someone i wanna ask out for dinner but cant seem to rmb who?

guess wad? u wouldnt believe it i dont either. i just got offered a job by my ex-boss it sounds really exciting. but as exciting as it sounds... i dont seem to be excited, been quite bothered actually... maybe its cos my current job just keeps getting into glitches and nothing seems to move.. well we do move only to get back to where we started... like they say back to square one. which well.. kinda sucks and it gets me depressed.... well not that i stay depressed for long but it totally drains me of everything i got and its just so so demoralising... i will be meeting my ex-boss tmr.. she will tell me more about the job and her terms and conditions, i will tell her about my terms and conditions and then we will see wad comes out of that meeting.... so we shall wait and see... just one thing to note, i am not a quitter! never am, never was, never will be...

STOMP! STAMP! STUMP! MUST GO WATCH STOMP! think i shld stop now lest i ruin it for other pple who haven caught it yet oi! wad u waiting for??? i will be 'stomp' ing ARD for a while stupid cockroach at home

Happpy birthday Mike! Happy 21st! ok so its a few days late but i did wished him on that day tho.. HappppY BIrthday EUG! h ey gal, if u read tis, i Order u to tag my board and say HI to me.... oh and jus so i dun forget U share the same day as my DAD.. coool hUh? H a pp p p y B i R t H d A y !

ok... haha. tis post aint abt my birthday, been over for a month already... tis month is the realli special month for realli special ppl in my life... lets start with my MUMmy... 05 sept, nt sure which year tho.. doesnt matter, does it? was suppose to go out wid her on that day but she was fully booked! oh well... REDEEM myself just yesterday, brought her down to Billy Bomber's at CS. She enjoyed herself.. totally loved the food WAD U expect? i am good when it comes to foooooD next would be JULIAN Kheng... my little cousin... well .. not that little anymore i guess... i remembered going down to his place for his birthday party... somehow, i forgot to get him a pressie but nvm.. i will redeem myself at X'mas then came a whole lot of other faMily members... hmmm there's yeye Yvonne (Ced's mum) Julian's Parents (yeye Celine and Uncle Jerry) and oh ya wid my daddy rounding up the lot.. his birthday not here tho... where to i wonder? seems like i have to book an appt wid...

can u believe it? my lovely boss decides to go away for a holiday, leaving me and my colleagues behind.. i am realli starting to enjoy the sense of freedom and i swear its intoxicating.. we can do alMost anything we want without worries that she mite pop out frm somewhere and scare us... but tt aside, i must say that i am starting to get a hang of my job like i am starting to understand my boss better and my colleagues are like the coolest pple ard.. wad to do ? we are such a small company, wanna do backstabbing also must plan very very very carefully aiya mite as well not waste time on that.. hahah

my sis was being real annoying... she asked me: "why do u think pizza boxes are square and not round???" i was annoyed. its jus a pizza box, why does she have to spoil it by asking me to think about things like tt hasnt she got better things to do. . . i guess not.. so.. any ideas? a clue? compare a square box and a round box and figure it out... not much help but i din get much help either.. haha:D but seriously, square box, round box, who cares? as long as i get my pizza...

Happy Birthday! to all August babies... which incidentally also means ME haha.. ok fine.. someone told me that i jus cant be subtle about my birthday... so here's to that friend.. just a gentle REMAINDER that I, Ang Pearl-Lynn Jermaine will be turning 20 tmr it will be my 20th birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! -JERM-

i kinda having a writer's block now meant to write this on wed, 3rd aug 05 but din haf the time... Happy Birthday little Marc Ching. the more i think of ur name, i think of soldiers Marc ching along.. sorry.. couldnt resist that. anyway.. everyone has gone to visit u already except me. its ok... i will get my chance soon and oh JUZ has taken lots of pics of u.. i cant believe it but u are cuter than me. Juz promise that she will look out for u, and that u are her little emperor... haha.. NO! She's not gonna make u love green... i am gonna teach u to say NO! haha.. but for me, i will always love u like a little bro like a little munchkin u are... i can almost foresee the future, u will spoiled rotten by everyone and the other cousins will be feeling jealous and there will be WAR over u.. haha dont worry i will protect u.. PS: i fell in love with u aft Juz showed me the pics. so much for having writer's block...

i aint someone who makes promises i can or dont keep. then wads the point in making a promise? if it's not gonna be kept anyway. maybe that's why they call it empty promises. this is my promise to Jerm (ME!) I promise to look out for myself I promise to guard my heart I promise to be a better friend to myself there's more. i am not done yet. but there's another promise to be made. I PROMISE TO KEEP THIS PROMISE.

i know u made a promise to me. i dont usually hold people to their promises but u told me that i could hold u to urs. which i did, which i shouldnt have silly me. i should have just stick to my old way of not holding people to their promises that way no one will get hurt not u, not me. but i realise now that there is just no way u can keep ur promise to me. because someone will, is going to get hurt and selfish as it mite sound i dont want it to be me again but it wont make life any easier for me knowing that u mite just be the one to get hurt. forgive me if u got hurt in the process i never did mean it. u will always be a dear darling to me no matter what. i'm moving on. i have to. the world doesnt stop spinning just becos of a broken promise. i promise u that.

i think i am way past caring anymore suddenly its so clear to me maybe i shld stop bothering den maybe i will be able to get a move on with life one thing is for sure, i never ever want to go thru tis again i am putting everything behind me and moving on good bye to u..

i haf 2 jobs looking for me... but i jus narrowed it down to one at B International... it is a SAles and Operations Executive the lady boss described the job scope as a little entrepreneur. i will have to handle talkin to the printers, the advertisers, the designers and other things.. tis is a new range of pdts that her company is doing.. it is a whole new stationEry line like Notebooks, boxes, pens and pencils.. it is so new that it doesnt even haf any prototypes, its still onli at the printers. so if i go on board, it would be like running my own business how cool is that? which job allow u to be ur own boss.. and me a fresh grad at it somemore.. she has so much faith and confidence in me. i am jus so amazed. i will do my best cos i believe in doing my best for everything... it makes me feel so good to know that i am in high demand.. tho my mum tells me that its cos i am young and tts why i am in high demand. she just makes me feel so small. thks to her for bursting my bubble but oh ...

its been a wonderful time at Junior Camp. just learning and interacting with the children.. i am nt a camp officer yet but a helper... it was still fun tho.. hard work but lotsa fun.. i cant wait to get baptised then i can help serve as a camp officer.. :) the theme for tis year's camp is CHA RAC TER . to help us remember the lessons learnt, the pastors came up with the acroynms FAT SO . F - FEELINGS (feelings can control ur character) A - ACTIONS (actions define ur charater) T - THOUGHTS (thoughts influence ur feelings and actions which in turn control ur character) S - SPIRITUAL (how God and ur relationship with him affect ur character) O - OUTCOME (after taking the above into consideration, what will ur character be like? gd or bad?) aft our long day, 2 camp officers Tr Aileen and Tr Cheng Kee gave us some 'vespers'. just some verses to comtemplate about.. the first nite was about faith and duty and 'for the sake of', faith and perserverance, service and...

someone mentioned to me that my blogs are so depressing and sad... and so unlike the happy and crazy ME that she knws.. and so i bet she must be wondering if it is the real ME that she knws.. incidentally i wonder abt tht all the time.. am i real the ME when i am with my frens or issit jus a facade? another fren gets a real kick outta the word facade.. haha another fren asked a very interesting qn once... whether we are real in church? whether we are realli ourselves that we are at home and in church.. in fact she questioned abt having a couple of identities at one time.. that made me think that wont it be tiring to do that.. can u imagine leading a separate life frm church and sch and family and work and frens and another grp of frens and another... in the end u probably wont even knw who the true person is? who u realli are.. haha for a moment i tot i lost myself there.. haha anyway... then my next qn.. wad happens if the different identities meet and somehow clashed with each othe...

oh boy! am i gld for frens who keep in contact thru my blog... makes me feel so honoured that people are reading and watchin out for me.. but sometimes they're jus kaypo.. ok being kaypo isnt always a bad thing.. ok maybe tts the onli one to find out more about someone... to Joyce, i never call u kaypo ah.. in fact i dun mind if u kaypo more.. thks for looking out for me and wondering wads gg on in my life? depressed i am not.. some nonsense i am going thru tts all.. to Juli, soon i'll call u.. i beta stop talkin like Yoda otherwise juli nt gg to talk to me.. haha :D too bad.. resist i cant... hahah :D

i am drowning.. i cant seem to even stay afloat. tis is the first time i ever felt tis way before.. its so scary and it becomes even more scary becos i havent realli got anyone to cry out to.. well i do haf someone, he is the BIG GUy in the sky.. he'll always be there for me no matter wad. but it jus seems lik i cant realli trust anyone on tis earth.. nt evn the ppl closest to me.. somehow coming back frm the YAG retreat has opened up my eyes a little.. i am able to see my frenships and haf evaluated many of them. and to my horror, most of them are frens tt i can actually do without.. bt yet, there are those that i need.. its so weird just thinking thots like tt and wondering wad to do.. Pastor did warned us tht aft the retreat some of us might leave it with evn lesser frens den before. but he hopes tht the lessons learnt wont go to waste and from there we'll learn to make new frens.. but why do we nd frens? issit even neccessary? SOmeone asked a very interesting qn once, if w...

its been a while since i blogged or turned on a comp.. been busy with work and haven realli had the time to do anything.. to be honest i haf given up on job searching, i am jus so tired.. evryone been asking and bugging me abt it i knw evryone is jus being concerned... but its enough! i cant take it anymore.. tho its realli interesting to see wads been happening in my life... i can realli trace God's hand in my life.. i haven realli had a lot of trials in my life.. bt when i do, its nt tt hard.. ok it hard bt nt tt... ok maybe nt hard bt difficult.. haha :D felicia's thinks she smarter den me.. its ok.. i can live wid tt haha :D nt evryone can be as smart as me.. its ok.. anyway.... i digresss... i am stuck.. haven been stuck in a long time usually jus talk non stop. haha:D ok maybe its a first.. well there's always a first for evrything rite? haha ciao!!

Something just keeps BUGGING me. i knw i shld stop thinking abt that nite. but its realli almost breathtaking.... and so surreal... been spending alot of time at someone's place.. mum's been annnoyin abt it. but it (ambiguous... haha wads it refering to? spending alot of time at someone's place or my mum being annoying abt it? haha...) wont last... at least i hope not.... s i g h i miss him... do i tell him? wonder if he will discover/stumble upon my blog?

are u back already? it feels like forevr. haha sometimes i wished that i have never met u.. den maybe life would be better and boring. sigh. i wonder whether if i turn away and forget u. will my life be so empty as it is nw? will it be a mistake that i will regret all my life? why i asked if u were happy cos i am willing to just leave and forget u if u are happy... wads the point of making life more complicated den it already is... but that nite was just so surreal and so beautiful... u promise that things would remain the same and that nothing would change btwn us... u sure? u sure u can make me a promise and keep it? cos if u say u can den, i will hold u to ur word and if u break it... it will be the end of evrything we had... cheers to promises and tears...

to wenn... hahah.. i knw u arre so curious... i'll let u knw when the time is rite.. rite now just keep being curious.. haha :D and to min, i will tell u soon.. maybe i will write den it wont be so bad.. haha realli a very long story... haha to juli, thks for listening.. sometimes i tink i talk too much. oh well i a gld i cld get it off me.. to evryone else... hahah :D

the three of us went out for a long awaited gathering... the twig, the ediot and the jerm... haha :D well lunch was great. we talked and caught up with each other. i realise that i miss them alot. i guess sometimes going to sch isnt a bad thing aft all... aft lunch went for a walk... paid a visit to the art house... its been a while since we went there. the last time i went there was wif twig for an urbanwire assignment which she din do in the end. somting abt mooncakes and good chinese tea.. the art house is this funky place where you get to see the latest arty farty things for free.. evryting evn the entrance is free... so we had a good time... spend quite abit of time there... our next stop was to the esplanade for actually onli one reason... HAgaaaan Daz ice cream which the ediot owed like forevr already.. hahah went there.. we ordered a choc fondue , with lotsa fruits and ice cream. and.. something called tiramisu del light or something. haha ok the main thing was the choc fondue...

haha.. i am in a good mood! going for Lord of the dance tonite. looking forward to it and the company's not too bad as well. but am gonna be super broke after tis. which reminds me i still nd to pay for my tix. hope he forgets... nah i shall nt be mean. haha :D anyway... there's a new fren that i am really having lotsa fun getting to knw beta. yesyes.. its a him. who? i shant say yet. i jus wanna be frens first. can imagine my confidants calling me a LIAR! haha oh well... so wads new huh?

so i get out of sch... and realise that i have another problem what am i going to do with my life? shld i work, study or just slack it away? i have been waiting and wanting to get out of sch. and now i got that wish but... whats the next move? issit just me or something but i dun wanna face reality. i dun want to face the future. i dun evn want to knw if i do haf one... sigh... i am getting so tired of it all. i jus move on... but where do i evn begin? wad if the beginning is the end? sheesh... sometimes i wonder where is the eternal optimist that i knw or knew? bleah!

I am sick of guys and their nonsense. Argh! Why cant they be nice and straightforward? Why do they have play games that dont make sense and end up hurting me? AM I SUCH A HORRIBLE FRIEND? it seems like evry frenship i have with a guy just falls apart!? I just wanna scream! ARGH! ENOUGH! I dont want to have anything, anymore to do wid guys and being their frens. DISCLAIMER : this is not meant for every guy i knw but just specially for the idiots who hopefully know who they are though i dont think they will, considering they are idiots themselves.

freeeedomm! shant elaborate more. its fine. i will get over it in time to come. no sweat! cos i am JERM the pro.... but whatever that happened will probably stick in my memory for many years to come. it really has taught me a lesson. a lesson i will probably never forget. maybe it is a good thing that it happened. cos it really open my eyes to everything and everyone else. i sometimes get so irritated with myself. cos i am such an persismistic optimist or issit an optimistic perssimist? haha i have no idea. though i guess it is just me. i cant stay mad at someone for too long. i cant stay pisssed at someone for long. i cant stay sad for too long. i cant stay upset for too long. i cant be negative for too long. i guess its jus me...... so i revert back to being happy and joyful which is the old me. haha. well this time it is a lesson and probably a lesson i will never forget. haha bleah!

Sometimes its the small things that matter The shortest conversation with someone The little note to someone The smallest expression on someone's face The solitary tear The shadow of a wink The smallest of a smile The light flick of the hair The gentlest touch of the hand The softest whisper The tiny little baby The tiny little town The tiny little dream ONE GREAT KING if the smallest things dont matter then... what about the big things? after all... dont the biggest of things begin with the smallest of things?

where are all my frens when i need them?? am i such a selfish person? when all i want them to be is happy. i nvr tot i wld get hurt by a frenship. bt i am hurt nw and maybe onli becos i care too much for them. maybe i shld stop. nah! its nt in my nature to not be a fren because i gt hurt by one. tts silly and tts nt me. maybe my mum is rite. abt me being a strong person. always getting up whenever i fall.. hmm ok.. maybe it will take a while bt i always get up in the end. .. .. . i nw understand hw impt frens are. they are your tower in times of need. i nvr realli understood hw someone can depend so much on their frens until they will even give up their lives for them. i am not that noble. i haf decided that i will still be a fren no matter what. no matter whether i got betrayed or whether they are mean to me. its just another level of frienship that's all. so if u nd a fren... i will try to be there (wanted to say always bt i cant la. i will be lying. cos i cant always be there. d...

its been a while hasnt it? school's been so busy and now... i think my wish is coming true. sch is ending in one wk time. wonder will i miss it? its been 3 yrs at Ngee Ann Polytechnic long yrs maybe? but... meaningful for sure... the friends i made, the lessons i learnt, the mistakes made and learnt. maybe i will miss school? but it is so unlike me to miss something like school. school... wads to miss about it? been wanting to get out of it since day 1. and now, the dream is fast approaching and yet, i stand and shiver what will the future hold? will i be able to survive? onli time will tell i guess.. thanks for all the memories!

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR! GONG XI FAI CAI! HONG BAO NA LAI! haha.. so it is that time of the year again. the wonderful hong bao collecting and feasting of the new year goodies. the food is great. the company is good too. what more can i ask for? er............................ MORE hong baos maybe? haha.

i cant believe it! i haf an idiot for a sis. she made me so pissed . you could say.. tht i lost it. i was yelling at her and you knw wad she said, "nw i am feeling happy ." i mean like.. wad the HECK! argh! she has no sense of logic. i wished sometimes i dun care for her maybe i care too much? maybe i shld stop? maybe i shld jus ignore her? maybe.... if i pretend she doesnt exist, maybe things would be better?

Nothing to report for today... jus the thot of blogging in school is terrible.. so ya.. just a note. .. nth new.. I HATE SCHOOL!

SUNDAY! the day i like tht is until the next day, when i need to go back and face the horrors of school. but why i like sundays besides it being a day of rest? i get to go to church! and see my frens, learn more impt lessons abt GOD and of course who can forget the babies in church.. haha bt tis sunday was slightly different. nt tht the routine changed much. i just realise hw life can be funny at times. i was feeling happy and sad at the same time. HAPPY! tht my sis has finally matured and realise tht sometimes u need to give up certain things in life so that you can get a move on. SAD! or rather DISAPPOINTED! becos i heard so many sad things abt a CLOSE FRIEND in church. i dun wanna believe everythg pple tell me until i have seen and heard them for myself. i jus felt so DISAPPOINTED! and surely wad ppl say cant be all that wrong if they all see and experience it for themselves? i wonder if its true tt ppl change all the time even if i was drawn to this person...