10 years

Ya'll..... how has it been 10 years since Eric was diagnosed??? If you skim through PLEASE read the last paragraph. 

I think it has been an absolute blessing to live in this ward with people who have watched Eric grow up and have much love for him. I also don't know what we would do without all of the family that lives close by. We are so fortunate to live in such a great community.  

Recap? 

As you will read this little insert you will learn what our family went through and how the 8th Ward rallied around around Eric as he was fighting for his life.

These are little clips from our blog:

December 2, 2012

During the month of November Eric noticed some changes with his health. He had a loss of appetite, (among other things he didn't finish his steak at our fancy Anniversary dinner???) was nauseous quite often, vomiting frequently, had fever and chills, no energy, lost 15-20 lbs and found a lump.

 The ultrasound was questionable and thought to be a cancerous cyst so he was referred to a Urologist Specialist. November 29th the following day Eric woke up not feeling well. He had severe chest pain which made breathing difficult. After a couple hours of waiting to see if it would pass we decided to go to Instacare. His heart rate was high so he was monitored for that while there. When the doctor listened to his lungs she could hear "stuff" and wanted to get a chest xray to make sure that he didn't have pneumonia. The doctor showed us the xray and it didn't look good. There were some very concerning fuzzy white spots all over in his lungs which she said was not what pneumonia looks like and that possibly he had testicular cancer that had spread. Later that day we went to the Urologist who did an exam, looked at the chest x ray and said that he is going with his gut. It looks, acts, and feels like Testicular Cancer. We need to do blood work, have surgery on Monday to have a testicle removed and a CT scan to see where it has spread. 

December 3, 2012

Surgery... I'll spare you the details ;)

December 5, 2012

 Eric was officially diagnosed with Testicular Cancer today. He has Non-Seminomatous Germ Cell Tumors. (NSGCT) It is Stage III C. Eric is at high risk due to how far the cancer has spread. Dr. Chandramouli went over Eric's health history. His vitals were similar to what they have been. Blood pressure 138/86, pulse at 128, and he has now lost 30 lbs. Dr. Chandramouli showed us Eric's CT Scan results which indicate that the cancer has spread quite a bit to many lymph nodes in his abdomen and other organs including spleen, liver, kidneys, lungs etc. Eric needs an MRI of the brain to see if it has gone there as well.

     Because Eric is a high risk patient it was highly recommended that he be hospitalized at IMC for a week so that they can do other tests (Brain MRI etc) and monitor him through the first week of the first round of chemotherapy. Sometimes within the first week of treatment the chemo attacks the tumors rapidly which is a good and bad thing. Good that the tumors are gone fast, but bad because it can release too many toxins and electrolytes into the body and are harmful to the body. 

  It was not easy to hear any of this today. Our main goal is to get Eric better and healthy. We have to stay optimistic, hold onto hope, and put our faith in the Lord because we can and will get through this one day at a time.

December 8, 2012

 Dr. Nibbly who is a partner of Dr. Chandramouli came by to share the results from the MRI done on Eric's brain. He said that it looked like the rest of his body. Small white dots everywhere. So the cancer has spread there too. We had a feeling it was because Eric had headaches and some confusion one night. Treatment wont change.

 We have had visits from our Bishop a few times that have been really good. Our Stake President also stopped by last night. We are touched that our names are on the temple prayer roll, and we feel the blessings of everyone's fasting and prayers. It really helps Eric and I to stay strong and keep our faith and hope going.

 Dec 9, 2012 

An update from Justine's dad:

  The Holman's LDS ward held a special fast today for Eric. It was very touching to hear from Gayle the outpouring of prayers and love toward Eric and Justine. A bishopric member brought a poinsettia by the house from Saturday's ward Christmas party and offered kind words of encouragement.

Eric went on to receive many rounds of chemo and radiation. It wasn't until after two bone marrow transplants and oral chemo that he was finally told that the cancer had stopped spreading and was continuing to shrink. 

April 2, 2018

Thoughts from Eric:

 In 2012 we were blessed with our daughter, Tayvia. It was an exciting time in our lives. I was working in commercial real estate and she was a dental assistant. We had enjoyed several years together traveling and having a good time and then it happened. A game-changer and the first serious challenge in our marriage. I was diagnosed with testicular cancer. Not only was it cancer, but it was stage 3c (just before terminal state 4). Not a day goes by that I am reminded of it in some way. I look in the mirror and see scars on my chest and on my head, I take pills to prevent seizures, and most of all I don't have any hair on my head except the mangy looking stubble that grows in white, but too sparse to grow it. My hearing has diminished which has created communication problems.

I now have painted a picture of despair and doom and gloom, but there have been many good experiences that have come from living through it all. My mindset has become much more positive, I don't feel so gloomy. I don't look at cancer as an excuse anymore for my shortcomings. I see now that it has helped in ways I didn't imagine. It has given me more love, more patience, more awareness, a better more positive attitude, more confidence, more gratitude for friends and family, and I daresay, peace.

For the first time since being diagnosed 5 years ago, I can feel good about saying "I am the man!". 

Feb 4th, 2019

My thoughts as I reflected on Eric's cancer journey. 

Eric had a check up last week. His blood work and everything looked great! Just what we like to hear!

After his appointment they sent him a link where he could look at all of his medical history. I think Eric found it fascinating to go back and read about how sick he was in the beginning. This inspired Eric to bear his testimony on Sunday.  He wanted me to go up with him.. who knows why. I was busy enough digging through my bag for tissues.

As I read back on the blog post of Eric's time spent fighting cancer it's such a miracle that he held on. The timing of the ward fast wasn't a coincidence. Although it feels like a lifetime ago it's overwhelming to think about everything that we went through.  We are forever grateful for this ward, you have been with us through every step of the way. As we are coming up on Eric's 10 year anniversary of being diagnosed with cancer we would love to hear from all of you. I want to put a book together and need your help. Will you send me a message for him, a memory, words of encouragement etc. in the next 2 week or so. Send them to justinemholman@gmail.com.

We appreciate you all. 

Recent Happenings

EEG

 On Sept 3rd (when we were out of town for Labor Day weekend) Eric had a focal seizure- the day before he was going to be a free man to drive. 🤬 For the first time I gave him a medicine that stops seizures and it worked like a charm.😏

Fast forward to this past Thursday he called me because he was having another one. UGH🤬 I carry the medicine that stops seizures with me and thought, I'll give him one when I see him. After picking him up from work he agreed that maybe going to the ER wouldn't be a bad idea because his doctor wanted to get an EEG during one of Eric's seizures.

ER Shenanigans

                                                

It was so hard to watch Eric go through clusters of seizures. They couldn't give him any medicine because we didn't want to ruin the readings of an EEG. But they also wouldn't order an EEG because it was 'out of his jurisdiction'. After 4 hours of Eric continuing to have the focal seizure activity and me advocating to get an EEG, he was admitted to the hospital for EEG observation. (It took talking to three different neurologists to get the ball rolling) 

Eric HATED getting hooked up to the EEG. they had to scrub his scalp before sticking the thing on and then they put a mess covering over that and had to glue that to his head. The fumes from the glue were almost unbearable. 

Not the date I was hoping for. He ate all the ice cream lol but we had fun watching a movie together.

Visiting Daddy. Emery wasn't too sure about the whole thing and wouldn't sit with him. She did pucker up for a kisser though.

 

Poor Landry fell asleep before we were able to see Eric. The kids wanted to get Eric a new blanket to keep him cozy in the hospital.

We cant direct the wind, but we can adjust the sails.

Sometimes life is dang hard! It's hard to imagine what life would have been like if Eric didn't get sick. Part of me wishes that it never happened. Part of me, to be honest, wish that it ended differently to save me from daily reminders of the after affects and hardships. But then guilt and shame set in. Grief is a liar and I wouldn't have certain people in my life if it had gone differently. 

We can't choose our trials. And consequences naturally follow them whether good or bad. Even without major illnesses marriage is not always rainbows and sunshine. Neither is raising kids. Thankfully with the ebbs and flows of life we can find ways to help us not merely go through the motions but make the most of them. Thank goodness for therapy and medication am I right?

A little more on my rambling thoughts at 1:13am later lol

I've never gotten a picture of Eric and his oncologist together before. I finally got one pap style. Nitin gets us and sincerely cares about Eric's wellbeing. 

He is also really funny. His first question for Eric was, "Are you taking your medicine? Because if you are not I give your wife full permission to kick you A**!" (Only one more week and he can drive again!🙌🏻)

Eric asked Dr. C if he was one his greatest successes. He said as far as testicular cancer goes, yes. Dr. C remembers seeing Eric for the very first time & thinking Holy Sh** this dude is sick. He knew right away that Eric would need to receive treatment IN the hospital the next day.

Eric had his yearly checkup with him the day before we left for our trip over Labor Day weekend. 

As far as cancer goes everything checks out. We will see him again in a year.

We had a really fun time surprising the kids with a little night just us and had the best time swimming at Lava Hot Springs

We made a little detour in Blackfoot, ID to the potato museum. When you walked in it literally smelled starchy lol The kids and I love a good gift shop. 

Unfortunately during the couple hours that we had before checking into our next Airbnb Eric had another episode. LITERALLY less than 24 hours before he was going to be free to drive. 
To say that we were devastated was an understatement. Thankfully Eric's epilepsy doctor gave us some medicine that helps stop the seizure. E still took a nap after to sleep it off and when he woke up he was a lot better. No lingering headache or anything so that was good at least.  

These episodes leave me in distress if I'm being honest. While making sure Eric is taken care of it's hard to take care of the kids at the same time. Unloading the car and figuring out which room we were going to sleep in... I could hardly keep it together. I carry a heavy load on my shoulders. I try to bear it well but it's honestly suffocating. I feel as though I have no choice but to grit my teeth and truck along.
By being open about this I'm not looking for pity and I don't want to be babied or coddled. I'm just trying to navigate this crazy thing we call life.

Family date nights are our favorites!

He prefers playing with the kids over getting chores done around the house.

He gives the best hugs & is supportive.

He loves a good nap.

He is also always up for an adventure.

Because of his hearing loss and slower cognitive abilities he often needs things repeated or explained so he can understand you.

I'm working on understanding that no one is perfect and everyone does things at their pace.

It drives me crazy when people call us a power couple or tell me that I'm so strong. You never know how strong you have to be until being strong is the only option.
We aren't perfect. But we are trying. 

Summer & MRI & Date night

One of Eric's favorite places on earth is Lake Powell. His family has been going to Bullfrog since he was 8 weeks old. With the exception of last year because the water was so low.

Eric didn't wake-board on a trip for the first time since I have known him. He said that it just wasn't the same anymore. 

It seems as though he did well on the SUP though.

Eric had his follow-up MRI when we got back from our trip. His epilepsy doctor ordered it. We are assuming no news is good news. While he was having it done I took the kids to the library which is close by to kill some time.

Even though we all would like to think that we aren't flawed, no one is perfect. Which means that marriage isn't perfect. They say communication is key, don't forget about date nights yada yada yada Well, they aren't lying. This past week we decided to go see Top Gun since everyone has been raving about it. The closest theater to us has a sushi restaurant next to it. We had a really fun time sitting at the sushi bar. 

Happy Fathers Day 2022

To the world you are a father but to our family you are the world.

Just some cute pictures of us all dressed up. We had family pictures with my family and snapped a few of us while we were looking all cute. 

Update on Eric: He has been going in once a month for shots in his eyes. He has maculaedemia and the shots have really helped the inflammation go down. It's painful to have down and he can't go to work the day they are done. His eyes also get so red!

Today he had cataract surgery on his left eye. A few years ago he had the right eye done, ever since he has been chomping at the bit to get the other eye done. He will need readers for life but at least his vision is more clear. 

I mowed the lawn today because I knew Eric would be tempted to since he is home. Because he had cataract surgery today I didn't want him to.

Because Eric can't drive again.... he has been very independent and creative with his transportation. Sometimes I take him to work but we have had sick kids and I'm not able to leave the house. His mom has helped as well. Eric has enjoyed riding his bike to the Front Runner train and taking that to work. Other times when circumstances don't permit riding his bike or getting a ride he has figured out the public transportation system. He takes the bus so far, then trax, then the bus again. 

Three little sickies. The past two weeks have been full of visits to the el bano. Thankfully Eric's family has been able to help get Eric to and from appointments so that I could be at home tending to their needs.

 

Sometimes you just gotta roll with it

 I need a place to continue documenting all the things with Eric's health journey. Sometimes I feel like Instagram isn't personal enough and I need more space to write my thoughts so here we are...

2022 Started off with a bang this year! In February Eric had a pretty serious seizure that landed him a night's stay in the hospital. He was having seizure like symptoms and we wanted to be safe than sorry. Sadly because this was a documented seizure they told Eric that he couldn't drive for three months. What double sucks is when you have another one the clock starts over.

It needs to be documented that the hospital now had regular Coke again. 

Well we were at the cabin last weekend and as we were getting ready to eat dinner Eric had an episode as we call them. It was absolutely overwhelming as I already had a migraine and Tayvia was feeling anxious with both mom and dad not feeling good. Thankfully Eric's brother was up there with us and could help. Ironically enough the following Monday Eric had an appointment with an Epilepsy doctor. We needed someone who specializes in seizures to better help Eric get the treatment that he needs as well as put him on the road to a seizure free (at least mostly free) life.

Lot's of Eric's health history is brought up when meeting a new doctor. It inspired me to make a book or something so that we can remember everything that he went through in chronological order. So that's my goal this year.

Anyway, back to Eric. Unfortunately because Eric had another seizure (we think due to lack of CPAP use and an accidental lower dose in medication) he isn't able to drive for another three months. Lot's of emotions running high with this devastating news. It's gotta be a low blow to have your freedom taken away yet again! The weight that was lifted off of my shoulders when Eric was able to drive again was so relieving. But, I guess we have a system down... a little different from his first three months.  

We are looking forward to a fun summer..... hopefully, fingers crossed a seizure free one. 

Eric's new mode of transportation. He wants to ride his bike to the Front Runner train station. When he gets to Draper he also rides to work. 

10 Year Cancerversary

 This year marks Eric's 10 year cancerversary. We wanted to celebrate in a big way! A month ago we went to Hawaii and had the best time. Seven days in paradise was way too short!