Eric's 4th Diary

Now is 5pm, i can off now but i still want to write a blog for myself today. This morning i came in to the office very early to do my quotation, i can earn a lot from this deal so i only came in office so early. If not i won't so stupid come in to office so early, this noon i'm so free until chat with showroom staff. Ladyboss was not here, i'm so freedom. Today mood was quite good, later i'll meet my girlfriend at yew tee mrt. I think i have to stop already, if not i'll work don't know what time.

Eric's 3rd Diary

Finally i know the answer already, ending up this story. I have to start to find job and once i get the offer i'll stop working here, i can't stand it anymore. If i stay here i also will be the same in future for few years time, so maybe this is a chance to find a suitable job that i'm interested. I might think this 2 years is just for me to know how's the place of singapore, but now i'm totally different. I have 2 years experience, i'm not afraid start from the beginning again. From this decision i have made just to know how many kind of people in this world, and how's the people treat you. I didn't regret at all cause this experience teach me not to trust anybody accept yourself, i have gain a experience. Every day , every year and anytime, I'm still learning. Today, I don't know why i didn't sad at all as i already know my salary has not be increased, maybe because i know the asnwer in my heart earlier day. I'm ready to accept it, just for my good sake i need to look for other job. I know i can't work here anymore, with an empty promises that make me no meaning to carry on this job. I already pack all the thing to my house, anytime i'll stop working in this company. I hope don't have 2nd me and end up same situation with me.

Eric's 2nd Diary

So relaxing day for yesterday, sleep until noon and go out with friends. Yesterday is Singapore national day,so went out to see the crowd. A lot people went to City Hall (Esplanade) celebrate Singapore birhtday, for me we went there for a while only because it's too hard for us to go in there. Then we decided to meet our cousin sister at Chinatown eat frog porridge, it's taste but not compare to Ipoh restaurant..Hahaha, Ipoh supporter. I'm quite happy yesterday cause i can go out without stress, no need to work. After came back to room, i feel so boring and moody. Feel so regret i didn't change the job, i still at here suffer of the unsatisfy salary. I don't know what decision they have make, i feel very tired and boring of this company. I can't do anything but just wait until this coming salary see whether have any changes or not, but i have bad feeling my salary is still the same. I'm ready to find another job and won't make myself so hard to live on. I have 2 years plus experience, i don't think i can't get a better salary job. Last night talk with ah koo advice him to look for better salary actually was telling myself i need to absolve from this company and look for better prospect company. I tell him all about my plan but i just feel all the hope was gone, everytime i plan something there must have some blocking in the end. I hope to get some rest for about half a month or a month to get me fresh, I really don't know what to do next. I feel myself lost, infront of me just a blank black wall. Don't know whether i should move back or forward, turn left or right..Still have question sign on my head.??Who can give me some advice??

Eric's 1st Diary

This is the 1st time i write a diary in a blog, i hope i'll write a diary everyday so i can review back my past history when i want to. As this is the 1st diary, i'll write down what i have past from the previous blog. Last month i have intention to change job, so i have send resume to few company. EPIC APPLE, CREATIVE and another one is my friend's company..i have a offer from EPIC and the salary is more than what i work here, the benefit even more. They confirm me as a sales executive and $1300 pay, the next day i told my ladyboss that i want to resign. My ladyboss then ask me to stay and ask me the expected salary that i want, finally we deal that my pay will raise to $1500. Until now i can't imagine she cheat me to stay, empty promise for what she tell me. I'm so dissapointed, i really regret the decision that i made. I really stupid that i still trust this kind of boss and company, but i'll see this 18 august. If my bank figure is still the same, i think i'll know what to do.

Today is just after the day of me and my gf anniversary, nothing special yesterday. Actually i plan want to give her a suprise by give her half a dozen of rose and her favourite fruit cake but i can't do it because i no money left, my bank just left $188. I don't know how to survive this month, i hope she can understand me. But i'll promise myself no matter how i also will gv her half a dozen of roses on her birthday, i think she'll sure very happy. This morning i wake up a bit late but i arrive on time and even have time to "pang sai" at company..haha, I don't have much things to do, so just help to asnwer the call when i feel in the mood. This noon ah koo called me out to see fire cracker tonight cause tomorrow is the Singapore National Day, I think the event is not today. As i'm writing blog now, i can feel ladyboss is watching me.Haahaha...I still can act typing the today's schedule, hello~! mangkuk ayun, i'm the good actor man~! Tonight is the last day i sleep with my gf, tomorrow she'll going to motivation camp for few days. Really so worry her, don't know she can independent herself at those camp or not??? -end of diary 1-

Dissatisfaction of the discussion

Last 2 days finally my lady boss told me she'll let me work full time sales, she promise me will let me go out before 2008..what the fuck she talking about? I don't wan later,I wan now.. About my permit, she just ask me go to medical check up and renew. i still don't have chance to tell him i want her to apply S Pass for me so that i can get my PR in the next step,I really don't know when i should ask her. So boring and this stuff make me think a lot of things.

Maybe i should rest more, so i don't wan to load so many things in my mind. I need someone beside me and chat with me, i want to tell my girlfriend but last 2 days she busy packed things go back to her home and yesterday she went to Redang so i don't wan her to worry about my stuff. Finally i tell my ex about my things and she gv me a lot of support, ask me to do it what i want. She told me at last i also have to face all the things, just tell what u wan. At least have a answer..and u can make the next decision.

Down To Hill

Today have heard a lot things that make me into the terrible mood, feel so boring with the job and the people here. Really cannot stand it, but i still have to stay at this company because of the financial problem. The commitment from me was too much, i cannot even rest for 1 day. 1 day off will make me into a big deep problem, need to pay this pay that for everything. I don't know what i was working for, myself? parent? or gf?

When only i can absolve from this circle? I really no mood to work at here, everyone can see from what i do and react. Something was amiss, I didn't talk much..My whole personality had been change, i have a bad temper. I don't like my colleagues ask me for the repeated things, I'll do all the thing alone and no one knows what i'm doing now. Everyone guess what is my steps after that, i become more lazy and lazy..

My father really gv me a lot of troubles, I think i won't gv any trouble for my children in the future..I need to become a rich guy, I know i can do it. I'll have a company myself in this few years, I'll let myself to have better life. I'm working in Singapore not just want to find 1k or 2k this kind of salary, I wan more...But the important things is i have to settle all my father's shit, and start my new life..

Stress~!

Last 2 days was the time that can find money, but i can't make it. All the customer like sucks, and i no mood to serve. My luck was going down again, next month my permit will expired. I still consider either to extend or want to change other jobs, salary wise is the main concern. My lady boss said will discuss with me but until now no action from her, i think i better change my job once i have chance. This few months is my hard time, everyday my brain is just thinking about money. I have alot of commitment, stress from every corner was pushing over me. No matter how i have to stand still and keep blocking all the pressure myself, i'm not me anymore. I have been changed a lot this 2 years, i have to force to change because of the environment here. I'm too boring with my life here, none of 1 around me can be trust. The way is jus keep it in, emotional start to change from good to bad. Hence, I can control it by myself..My feeling now is just moderate, sometimes the fact of my life are unacceptable. From child to now, i also have problem with the financial. Y i want to born in this world? I'm not smart enough, maybe this is the fact of my life..won't change, the thing that only i can do now is try my best.

This jobs make me very boring and tired, just because of a little basic salary i have to work on sat and sun for the extra money. Everyday have to budget, not much extra.. From medium class family to poor family, actually i'm not blame anyone of them..maybe this is my life. More few months i'll be free from all financial problem, i don't care anymore. i already do my best to gv whatever money i have to pay all damn fucking debt for my father, feel so ashamed with my father. When i was a child, my father still under my grandparent support whenever have financial problem, until my grandparent passed away until me to support in the financial. I dunno when only i can free of this thing, so tired.

About my girlfriend, actually she's quite good but the only thing is very emotional. Maybe our thinking is different make us always argue, quite sad after that but sometimes i don't know what to do cause i already so normal for that. From beginning till now, i dunno how many thousand times we had argued. The happiest time was when we go to trip together, won't have any arguing. She'll come to Singapore soon, i hope we can live together but she seems don't wan. Anyway, i don't mind..i have my own life anyway, she have her life too.