i can testify that hard work truly pays off.

never have i given so much sweat and blood into cleaning,
now i have an incredibly organized bedroom and the house is cleared from all junk.
and to top it all off...
there's a good chance greg is visiting canada before hitting perth, autralia in feb.
fantabulous!

something i reckoned tonight,
greg has a striking resemblance to jamie oliver - a new found love on the food network.
same lingo, same talk, same humour... perhaps it's a south england thing.

it's quiet,
serene,
sometimes lonely
but i like it.

i had doubts about my move against chicago,
as i miss so many of you and am sure the experience of pure praise in that stadium is extraordinary,
but i'm glad i fell into the liking of das german language and the continual hunt for better prices on the market.
i am officially addicted to shopping, particularly for useless things like craft ditties.
something about ribbons,
suck me into buying them.
i'm already on my fourthteenth spool.
and for what use one might say?
i    have    a b s o l u t e l y    no    idea.

alles Gute zum Geburtstag Jesus Christus!

Ich spür Dich in meinen Träumen.
Ich schließ Dich darin ein und Ich werd immer bei dir sein
Ich halt Dich wie den Regenbogen ganz fest am Horizont
weil mit Dir der Morgen wieder kommt.

Wieso ich liebe dich, meine frech Affe...
                                                          non lo so.

when my body leaves this earth
and i ascend to the heavens
i wish only one thing to be played while on my journey to meet the Lord

and that is the mahler symphony no.2, fourth movement.; at the first entrace of the choir.

FCO so kindly sent me a beautiful recording of the MAHLER we did in eberbach over the summer.
listening to the recording
i feel nothing but elevation.
my body trembles for it knows not of
this overwhelming e m o t i o n.
words do not suffice to explain the power music has.
let's just say,
i already have a good glimse of what heaven will be like.

when i'm feeling down, this picture ALWAYS brightens my day.
taken at eugene's bday party by yours truly with carter's sick sony.

mad kudos to alex for posting THIS SITE on his.

i really haven't been myself lately.

so i've been behind my italiano book for 3 days straight, conjugating verbs, repeating useful phrases, trying remember 5 units worth of vocabulary - eventually i was tired of the language. as a quick 5 second study break i choose to find something to nibble on. a beautifully wrapped red and white candy cane (given to me by dawn) laid nicely on my desk. it was staring at me, wanting me to eat it. so i carefully unraveled the ribbon and celophane. read the sticker label = "Dans un Jardin." :) how nice

i smelt the candy cane first. wow. like fresh granny apples. that just made it more thrilling to eat. took the first bite.... barely even got my teeth through it. i can testify right now that the things we are not suppose to eat, yet can smell, indeed have the same taste as the smell. never have i been so deceived. despite it's glorious smelling of apple, it held the taste of soap + ass. (not that i know what ass tastes like, but as stated before, you get a good idea of what it does taste like just from smelling it.)

thanks dawn for warning me. =P

wow! i didn't know the computer can sleep!
pretty awesome keyboard henson

haven't been around due to 2 things:
1. no internet connection in my apartment
2. studying for italiano - it keeps me on my toes.
(but secretly, i'm studying german verbs for pleasure.)

DOES ANYONE HAVE A KEYBOARD THEY DON'T WANT?

i spilt cider on mine. *sigh*
_____

once/again/jon/henson/comes/in/to/save/the/day!
but/for/now/i/will/be/patient/and/try/to/deal/with/the/missing/keys

i'm/so/pathetic/that/i/have/to/cut/and/paste/particular/letters/i/can't/type

i watched The Pianist a couple nights ago with sharon and amy in celebration of finishing one of the most grueling exams (music history) but it wasn't much of a celebration for the scenes of the movie silenced me, haunting me till the next morning. my mood was sombered with the repetitve image of the elderly man who couldn't stand up at the command of the german's orders, due to his physical disabilities, then ruthlessly being picked up by his wheelchair and thrown out the balcony from the fourth floor, left to die and be trampled on by germans. my heart goes out to all the jewish people who suffered during the holocaust, and all those jewish families who relive the terror through films such as "The Pianist."
____

... and so the wedding bells are rung.
i miss balling my tears out from watching TLC Wedding vows.
b.lo and elaine - i simply couldn't be any happier for you both!

praise god for:

being a woman because the sight of today's average jock, 'walking home from class with hands rearranging his package showing the full monty' has made me thankful that i never have to deal with that. ever.

sometimes
it's not the big
intentional
S | T | A | B | S
that bleeee eed
              the heart
but the little prrrrrickling
of the inadvertent pin.
                                         pin
                                 pin
                                                     pin

_____

why guys have pins growing from their roots to poke you...
i'll never understand
but i do believe something can be done.
may i offer you my pin cushion to reserve further pains?

so this time around, attila got better seats than me. boourns on my 100 level tickets.
for more of his shots at the mayer concert at ACC = :^O
look around. he's been following john mayer for as long as i have, but he's the lucky one who gets to take shots of him for a living. would trade spots with him any day. of course, with my camera, as opposed to his fuji digital. (yes, we've exchanged notes.)
____

i may late if we're working on the Australian Time Zone, but
            HAPPY BEATS, BRO!!!
can't wait to have you home for the holidays!

thanks to jeff, i've been informed of new gear to put in the listening ear.
from justin king, to michael buble and now.... *sigh* a new found love: todd clark.

something i think is worth while to watch: (warning - ARTSY alert. not for everyone's liking)
1.) go to www.pilate.com
2.) click on launch: full screen
3.) click on the menu circle
4.) go to gallery
5.) click "Alright" video.

that's my video in a nutshell. i feel like that main character sometimes.
on a side note: that's probably one of the BEST website's i've seen featuring artists.
_____



what a small world!

i'm buggered.
so it's 6:30 and i'm doing my usual surfing online, checking out pilate's show listings, when i realize they're holding a concert TONIGHT at SLC in UW @ 5pm! geez - what are the chances of that? i probably missed the concert of a lifetime. bargh. now they're going to get so HUGE in the mainsteam circle that my chances to get to know them personally has gone. they better not form their musicianship and work to the liking of puberty raging female fans, or i'll be disappointed - yet, once again.

never heard of them? i insist you check it out. they're representing the Tdot well.
COLDPLAY + RADIOHEAD + a pinch of TRAVIS = PILATE.

   it's not the same without you
_____

just when i thought i had forgotten the memories of Germany, i relive the moments through old blog posts.
good god, i don't know why i'm hesitating to re-audition. i mean, really. how COULD i pass up an experience like this?

praise god for:
JAZZ

it really does bring strangers together. i had a fun time in the practice studios yesterday.
oh, and i borrowed the Norah Jones Score Book from ashley.
I can play "The Nearness of You" - by far my favourite song from Jones' debut album.
_____

-- FOR ALL YOU GUITAR GENIOUSES AND LOVERS --
       try this on for size ---> JUSTIN KING

here's a sample of the conversation i had with jiffy:

   erica says: OH MY GOSH... OH MY SICK OH MY SICK
     jeffy says: UH HUH!!! KEEP WATCHING!!
   erica says: OH MY OH MY OH MY OHMY... this is CRAZY !!
     jeffy says: yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
   erica says: why haven't i heard of this guy before!!
     jeffy says: apparently he opened for diana krall
   erica says: holy geez. FORGET JOHN MAYER YO!!!

get a load of this...

unbelievable.
____

oh, and i finally watched the first episode of THE O.C.
frankly i don't understand the whole hype. it's just another show with fabulous looking actors and an 'aaron spelling' influence of "only-caucasians-exist-in-this-world" scene. nothing but violence, sex, drugs and of course, alcohol.

i can't help but wonder...
                                              why are we so intrigued?

i just saw the most amazing recital. tops all concerts i've sung or attended.
watching Fredrica von Stade on stage with Kimberly Barber was incredibly inspiring.
makes me proud to know that i am mezzo - a true mezzo.

pray for me. i need to work hard.
if you see me online in the next 48 hours, get me off!

oh, and i've decided. i'm going to apply for FCO Germany again.
____

i made friends with ottawa-ians
remember me mentioning a wonderful family that i had met on the flight from frankfurt to stuttgart? i immediately fell in love with that family, with adorable girls (like Olivia - featured in the beginning of my germany photos), a mother who i happily conversed with practically throughout the entire eighth hour flight, and an incredible father who i admired and claimed him "as a husband i hoped to find in the future". well, i sent them olivia's beautiful portraits and Corrine wrote back! she enclosed photographs from their trip in France, where Olivia took her first steps! ooh... i just love babies!

take a look: (copy and paste) http://www.ericairis.netfirms.com/jpgirls.jpg

anywho, she willingly offered me her guest room at the family's house if i ever wanted to visit. come to think of it, if i really want to pursue that visit to see chung for a weekend, i just might take up on that offer. ;) i love it when God puts such awesome people into your life.

Lifesong is tonight. i will be performing with the ever so talented herman.
please pray for tonight's event as many curious minds and lost souls will be attending this event.
i made sure i knew nothing about the drama script so that it would all be a surprise the night of performance.

school is starting to feel 'fun'. i can't believe i'm saying that, but tis ever so true.
i immensely enjoy my profs and the courses don't overwhelm me.
for once, i actually feel confident about the material.
oh, i'm going to OWN those finals!

i've already thought about christmas plans...
i'd really like to take a roadtrip w/family. s'been too long since we've had a family excursion.
just to get away and explore, perhaps work on my photography portfolio.

praise God for:
LAUGHTER

even if it leaves you with massive stomach pains, dripping with uncontrollable giggling tears and (dare i say) a slight trace of urine on the panties - it's ALL worth it because nothing beats the company of friends and contagious laughter.

i love women's cell. thanks God.

i love how one voice, one comment, heard through the telephone can make things THAT much better.
if only words weren't measured meticulously by second, by dollars...
otherwise i'd spend half my precious time trying to understand the world half way across the ocean
so that one day, i may join him and feel at ease and at home over there.

i am officially in love with jazz. and there's no stopping it.

you'd think, with a man like john mayer, and the opportunity to see him LIVE, rocking and strutting his stuff on stage you'd get this overwhelming high. but that was far from the case.

lesson learned about concert-going:
1. make sure 1,000+ people don't know about it and do the same.
2. have NO expectations.
3. only go with people who are just as passionate.

i'll post more thoughts later to refrain from verbal sinning.

oh goodness...
i'm getting giddy just looking at that.
only hours away from seeing that johnny.

eh, VOILA!



alex kept me company with his (borrowed) sony digital prism.
twas great fun trying to compose photographic shots. TAKE A LOOK!

the only thing that remains in my room now.



i cleaned and cleared out. i moved into the living room for the weekend SO I CAN PAINT MY ROOM! woo hoo! i had plans to do this before school started but uh... eeeyah. that didn't happen since i was in germany, then back in 'loo trying to catch up. FINALLY - a weekend free to paint! so what colour am i painting it? hrm... well, you'll just have to wait and see! stay tuned for before and after shots.

ok, i'll admit. the efficiency of the digital camera has suckered me into the digital world. i'll look into a new camera to own in the next year or so.

*gasp* wah, craziness.

---> read this.

Jim Caviezel's the same man who played the son in 'Frequency', a movie i rated 11/10.

HAPPY 28th ANNIVERSARY MUM + DADDIE!

dad? did you remember to get the flowers? =d

i thank God for:
piano keyboards

why?
because without it, i wouldn't know how else to release the emotional tension between i and the thoughts that put me in withdrawal. i wish the mind would stop pretending. i need to kick myself in the right gear.

sometimes all you need are episodes and cheddar popcorn to end the night on a good note.

i know it's illegal to download but being in the deprived situation of having no cable - i feel it's legitimate to *sample* the many shows i have of SATC. sarah jessica parker is hilarious. so PRAISE GOD for media entertainment cause truth holds it: it brings people together.

observed:
webcams

how does that make me appreciative?
because it helps make the friendship grow fonder. i PRAISE GOD for such technology 'cause sometimes the friendship connection can be made so much stronger just from the glimpse of a tiny pixelated image, holding the embrace of a warm smile.

may i begin with an apology.

for the lack of frequent updates and for the lack of content in my posts.

i noticed that my site meter continues to grow in numbers, still being hit by faithful fans and curious strangers. i must have left most you wondering why my updates have been so bland, short and somewhat effortless. probably even wondered if i've lost the "christian" aspect of my heading since i've failed to mention anything "Godly" in the past month. well, after experiencing life in germany i have been transformed and attitudes changed about notating the events of my life on a site for the world to read. my dedication to blog my daily accounts has faded and it no longer interests me to update you on specifics in such extensive paragraphs. (as if any of you actually read word of word the times i go into detail about something i was passionate about.)

when i had returned from germany, i had attempts of deleting this blog, letting its popularity fade and the history of thoughts and embarrassing stories become only memory. but looking back on the sweat, blood and tears spent to perfect this webpage i decided not to let such efforts to go waste. instead, i will continue to blog but have a focal point in my daily recaps.
i've decided to record the things God reveals to me.
the things that show His Grace.
the things that display His Beauty.
the things that make me ponder and think positively about the life i live;
the life He has given me.

oh, don't get me wrong. my love for john mayer (germany, photography, music and other things) will continue to pour throughout my blogposts when i feel the need to verbally express what absolutely tickles my fancy ;) but i'll just try to keep a daily account of the things that make me smile about God and be more grateful for things He provides.

observed:
roadkilled squirrel

how does that make me appreciative?
because without knowing the brutality of what roadkill looks like, i wouldn't be able to appreciate LIVE healthy, frolicking squirrels, even when they irritably badger through your garbage and make a mess. so PRAISE GOD for squirrels. better having them run around the neighbourhood than rats.

OH MY SICK. OH MY HECK... "like, he did NOT just do that!" soooooo darn good.

my love for john mayer simply increases.
"SOMETHING'S MISSING" [acoustic solo version] - my theme song for the month.

i wasn't too fond of the song when it was originally tested in coffee shops and plugged into setlists that only hardcore fans would familiar with, but after taking it to the drawing board for a recording session to be completed as track 3 on his 'Heavier Things' album it sounds uber good. GUITAR PLAYERS - i challenge you. i dare you to master it.

the FCO site has been updated for next season - summer 2004!

something new this term, they decided to give freebies.
check out the mp3s for a taste of how sickly good the orchestra and chorale was this year.

Brahms: Begrabnisqesang C minor ~ you can actually hear me in this one. ROCK ON ALTOS!

Beethoven, String Quartet in F minor Op. 95 ~ the glorious sounds of the phenominal orchestra.

Mambo (sung by chorale w/soprano solo by Isabelle) ~ this was probably the hardest syncopated piece i've EVER done in my life. many hours and days of dedication was put into this piece just to perfect it.

so if i make it again next year, i will be leaving AUGUST 14th and will be back SEPTEMBER 19. this serves as a problem. why? because this time, i'll be missing TWO FULL WEEKS OF SCHOOL. i can only pray that the dean has an understanding heart to allow this one to pass. please, O Lord. please.

Take my Quiz on QuizYourFriends.com!

speaking of friends, JOHN MAYER's on letterman this friday. mental note to self.

what a great shot, eh? i've finally looked through someone else's version of germany in their prints yesterday night. chelsey took some fanstatic shots with her point and shoot. in the picture: the adorable kate foxworth and i. chelsey asked us to pose a shot so we started drinking the fountain water. little did we know it was FLAT and ICY COLD water, so we went buck on it, drinking hand-full after hand-full cause it was so ridiculously HOT in uberlingen.

i still think about germany. everyday, i find myself browsing through the photos i took. i don't really have much of a choice since i've surrounded myself with 6x4s around the four walls that construct my room. i don't know how long it's going to take me to rid the memories out of my daily routine.

you know what's great?

having phone conversations with old mates and even when it's been 3 months since you've last talked, you can still pick things up from where you last left it and the fondness of the friendship is still present.

but you know what's the greatest?

getting emails from friends you thought had forgotten about you. i really don't cut enough slack for my friends. i underestimate how much they really care. perhaps i'm too sensitive. so in return, i spent 2 hours individually writing to a handfull of FCO members i had formed friendships with in Germany, each enclosed with a memorable shot.

when was the last time you emailed someone an encouragement? why wait, when the world waits for you.

GERMANY PHOTOS ARE FINALLY UP!

---> week 1 - 2 & 4
---> week 3 (Stuttgart) *new*

"Daughters" - Live AOL Session:
rtsp://demand1.stream.aol.com:554/aol/us/aolmusic/artists/sony/johnmayer/johnmayer_ilp_daughters_bb8.rm

"Clarity" - Live AOL Session:
rtsp://demand1.stream.aol.com:554/aol/us/aolmusic/artists/sony/johnmayer/johnmayer_ilp_clarity_bb8.rm

JOHN MAYER WILL BE ON SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE THIS SAT, OCT. 4th @ 11:35pm - someone please tape it!!

Nothing unusual, nothing's changed
Just a little older that's all
You know when you've found it,
There's something I've learned
'Cause you feel it when they take it away
Something unusual, something strange
Comes from nothing at all
But I'm not a miracle and you're not a saint
Just another soldier on the road to nowhere.

- damien rice

it's been non-stop between me and damien since i first laid eyes on him on letterman. i love his work - it's absolutely riviting. i'm going to see if i can get gregor to send me mr. rice's albums via post from europe cause no musician deserves to get his valuable work burned. if you're fortunate to have a tube and have the strength left to endure a musical ballad before you sleep, turn NBC at 1:45 AM. damien will be on carson daly tonight.

and if you don't get a chance to see damien on TV, CHECK THIS OUT. *sigh* hits the heart EVERY time.
major kudos to silas for finding it cause i was able to wrenched the tears out, and it felt UBER good.

new found loves:

handbell choir
learning italian (truly believe my tongue was born for that language)
tangerine romane salad covered in raspberry vinaigrette
5 o'clock naps
overexaggerated jewelry
cello players
killing spiders

the emphasis of aoife's "AWE" in awesome.
eriks' "lead in with my hips" walk.
the intriguing eyes of my favourite welsh boy, monk.
ira's enormous giggle.
maria's "yoo HAF tu be dere."
chi hoe's outspoken "di-mah?!"
how sandor's soft buzz-cut puts me at ease.
warmth from greg's tummy when he embraces me with a hug.

these are things i miss most.

i catch myself daydreaming about them a lot. at the end of the trip, i hesitated to answer whether i would return to the FCO, but after experiencing withdrawal, i now know. those guys are like family. life was too good in germany.

so today has been an a-ok day. feeling better than the last couple of days, but essentially there was nothing (other than JM's music) to get me in a really good mood. it's sunday night and i'm no where near completing all homework due for this week, i feel dirty from cleaning the appartment and my room is still in a shabby state (though i'm sure some would beg to differ). and then the phone rings....

brrr - brrrrRRRRrr, brrr.

oh, long distance call. i thought it was one of my roomate's friends calling from a T.O. cell - really didn't feel like picking it up.

brrr - brrrrRRRRrr, brrr.

ok fine. just answer it.

hullo?
yello. this wouldn't happen to be erica, now would it? (in the THICKEST england accent)

erica's brain process:
British Accent + Long Distance Call + Familiar Friendly Voice + Germany FCO = GREG!!

ah! i couldn't believe that bloke called! we talked for almost a good 2 hours - totally made my night. he, erik and i were the inseparable three while i was in germany with the Festival Ensemble. at every free moment we had, we spent it with one another. i love those boys. i hope to visit them once before august 2004 arrives.



if you look through my GERMANY PHOTOS, you'll realize that erik and gregor appear in most of my photographs. note: i am still captioning the 150+ images from stuttgart. the 5 albums are from uberlingen (week 1-2) and berlin (end of week 4). though the quality is crap since i gave up posting up the images on my own website under original formats, i'm happy that people can FINALLY sample a portion of the goodness that was shared in germany.

looks like nathan tsui isn't the only one who needs a haircut. =d



but long schlong nor not, i'm ecstatic to see my john @ the ACC on Nov. 5th. that's right! mr. mayer will be LIVE in concert in TORONTO. woo hoo! i hope i get tickets *crossing fingers*

mad tired all the time because

a.) i feel sick
b.) i'm still living on Germany time.

oh how i miss everything there. but for now, i shall wait for august to return.

it's great to be back, though i feel lost without FEO. i have adapted better to campus life and am finding things at ease. my class schedule is great and the profs are even better. what made my day most is that i got booted into Terry Kroetch's class again for Musical Skills. just when i thought i was gonna die in the class with sharon and amy, having a new prof who isn't half as good as Terry is. TK's THE man, and we get along really well. and the class is at 1:30 so there's no possible way i'm showing up late for his class again. heh.

lester house is.... interesting. ha, no i'm really blessed to have such wonderful housemates. i'm just not so ecstatic about the cleaning situation. i've already booked this weekend off to work and CLEAN like a madman. i've never seen a kitchen so foul in my life. and knowing me, i forgot to pack and bring up a LOT of stuff and important things, so chances are i'll have my 'rents come up to visit again. thanks dad for sweating it out, helping me move all the heavy and big items!

well, so far still no internet at the lester apartment but frankly i think it's good. it's one thing that takes me away from procrastination. ;)

i called
because
i just need to feel you on the line
don't hang up this time
and i know it was me who called it over but
i still wish you'd fought me 'til your dying day
don't let me get away


cause i can't wait to figure out what's wrong with me
so i can say this is the way that i used to be
there's no substitute for time
or for the sadness
split screen sadness
we share the sadness

{john mayer's "Split Screen Sadness"}

miss you lil' buggah.

... and so it goes, and so it goes.

its 7:30 am right now and im not sure whz im still not in bed. i have not slept for the past 2 days since the after party ended at 4am and i stayed awake for everyones departure, from 5:30 am till 8:00 am. i had to say some very difficult goodbyes. some who made an impact on mz life, some who will remain a part of me for an eternity. it was a BRUTAL 8 hour flight from frankfurt to toronto. listening to damien rice didn't help either... i couldn't stop the tears from streaming. couldn't sleep, didn't eat well (i blame it on the burger king country fries) and forced myself to suffer through 'Bruce Almighty' [5/10] and 'The Lizzy McGuire Movie' [0.5/10].

so now im home and puzzled as to what to do. i dont plan on moving back to waterloo until sunday night. i wish i had a week more of vacation at home, away from school and any other priorities so i can get properly settled back into the jist of things. i'm completely ecstatic about getting my rolls developed. can't wait to send hardcopies all over the globe.

forgive the terrible post, but am too tired to write anz more, plus i annoying mzself by not adjusting back to the north american keyboarding system. still havent got those Zz and Yy fixed and i keep thinking i have no ' function when i want to abbrev. anyway, stay tuned! i shall post pictures soon!
___

i feel so out of place. mentally, i am still living in germany. i keep thinking sprudelwasser is my only alternative to flat water and when i woke up, i immediately thought of waking up my roomate, andreanne. i went shopping today to pick up the latest John Mayer "Heavier Things" and kept speaking random german phrases to the employees. so whack. i've hallucinating too. i passed by over half a dozen faces and body types in which i thought were members of the FCO. i believe this is a sign. i simply miss them all too much. they all were great, some created a wonderful chapter in my life, some became like family. it's so hard to let go.

anyway, my review on the john mayer 3rd album: frankly, nothing on his album has stunned me as much as his last record tracks have. this whole 'light-electric' feel is definitely... different. sure wasn't what i expected, but i know in no-time i'll find myself loving the entire album and singing along when i see him LIVE ON STAGE @ the Air Canada Centre on NOV 5th! i applaud his cd jacket design - the fig.1-8 in relation to the tracks are awesome. can't wait to hear his detailed explainations of each song he compiled. my favourite song by far is "Daughters"... perhaps its because i had a stolen version of it with me in germany and its been on replay countless times. heh. but regardless, the lyrics are ingenious.

fathers, be good to your daughters
daughters will love like you do
girls become lovers who turn into mothers
so mothers, be good to your daughters too

i can't believe i have one weekend left before we all depart our ways and say goodbye. days seem like weeks and weeks seem like months here. every moment is prolonged into this adventure that my camera can't even capture for you. i have fallen in love with this country and wish not to return to the dungeon of doom that awaits me, but i know i have goals to accomplish back home and must return to the place i belong.

i feel like i've been distant from the internet for several months, but it has only been ONE week. i enjoy the separation i've formed from the computer and wish to continue this fashion when studies (should) become a priority. this is not my way of ending the blogging life, but i hope one day to return to the personal writtings i was once fond of and remove this quick, efficient typing method. =/

anyway, i will not further discuss how things are in germany for i will wait for the photographs to do the talking. i have just finished my 11th roll... and i have plans to visit the zoo on saturday to visit the monkey cages!! can't wait. hope the 16 rolls i brought is sufficient. i will leave with one thing though. i miss the toilet paper back home! man, i could write a novel with the toilet paper in germany. its soooo darn thick and i've been getting arse cuts from wipping too hard. *aiy*

i blogged an enormous post, updating the past awesome week i've been having in the gorgeous, clean city of Stuttgart... but being the oblivious, clueless person i am to Mac computers, i lost all 12 paragraphs, and in frustration decided not to retype and post. my apologies.

i am doing extremely well. the only major downfall i've had was loosing my voice the first day in stuttgart, but gaining it back at night. every night is a feista i tell ya. i absolutely love it here. surely am i living it up. one of the biggest highlights of my weekend was fine dinning at a chinese restaurant in town called "China Garden". gregor and erik took me there and we ordered a feast. guess how much the 6 dishes of food with dessert and soup costed? €60!! that's 20 euros a person. insane, eh? but it was well worth it. i had such a great time with those two.

anyway, rehearsal is about to begin any minute, so i better go now. shall update more of the fun in germany.

we had our first concert performance today in the salem college Aullen Häus and guess what? i had a djembe (african drum) solo!! i played a mighty sweet 14" authentic djembe for 3 african and brazilian numbers. it was awesome. i hesitated at first because originally i was not suppose to play the instrumentals since i had not shown interest nor volunteered, but it hurt to see some oblivious people try to play the drums without assistance during the rehearsal this morning and i thought i could help by showing them what i knew... and sure enough i stole the solos. it was a great way to end off the concert. what a view i had, sitting in the spotlight infront of hundreds playing the djembes. so another nick name i've been reign is "drums".

well, its almost 1:30 and i'm pooped from the glamorous party. tomorrow i leave for stuttgart (finally!). as much as i can't wait, i am also saddened that my two weeks at salem international college as ended. i hope my summer plans for next year are free because surely i plan to audition again for next season.

stoked about arriving city life in germany,

wow. its only the beginning of week 2 and so much has happened. i don't even know if i can notate it all down. i suppose the FEO updates should keep you well aware of what the entire ensemble has been doing as a whole. i'm still a little buggahed that no evidence of my participation in this chorale exists, other than my name printed in the chorale listing. though there is ONE picture from sunday's boat ride that shows my right ear, while praying a crazy game of "Crazy Aces" (a combination of british and my made up rules) with gregor and my other chorale buddies. i just realized that there is a short video of us excitely playing. i taught a bunch of them how to play 'Slap' ((where you draw cards outs while calling out the sequential order of cards and if what you called out was what you drawed, everyone would have to slap the pile of cards.)) it was a big hit and definitely made time fly by on the 2.5 hour SLOW boat ride.

Short Video: Cards & Hands (mov, 1.9MB)

everyday we get two units of 3 hours for free time, so i've been blistering in the sun while roughing it out with the boys in a game of beach ball volleyball. knowing how hardcore i am, i absolutely loved every moment of it. it was awkward at first because no one knows you, nor how you play and the men tend to hog the ball away from any of the girls, or even worse - they don't let you play. sitting out, spectating two games was nicht so fun but it was rather hilarious seeing the boys make hooligans out of themselves. gosh, are they so cocky. so finally i get my chance to give them all a piece of erics* on the court and i'll be honest: i totally owned them. so now the guys want to be on my team. haha... *shaking head* silly boys. so now i've been nicknamed, "volleygirl" which bothers me a little cause when it comes through my ear, it sounds more like VALLEYgirl. =ß

i've become great friends with most of the chorale members, but just recently started conversing with more orchestra members. i wish you all could hear the Mahler 8 Symphony. its... *wah* skin shivering. the choir only sings in one movement, but the orchestra is incredible. this will be the only major work that will be recorded, so i hope to get my hands on it to upload for y'all to hear. no greater talents can be found in this ensemble. it is disguistingly ingenious.

so spiritually speaking, my daily walk with christ has been ok. i tend to spend my mid-mornings with him, reading chambers notes and praying for specific things. things are going so well here, i really don't have much to ask for. of course there is health and safety, but generally i am in good hands. i don't recall ever being at such ease and peace before. it's rather odd, almost too good to be true. so if there are any PRAYER REQUESTS that YOU have, send one my way on the comment box, and i'll be more than happy to pray for you. ;)

i am adapting well to life in germany and frankly i love it here, though i really haven't seen much of the country. my daily routine is basically sleep, eat, sing, eat, sing, eat, sing then sleep. and in between every sing and eat is hike and tone up those muscles! haha. i'm really looking forward to tomorrow's 2 hour boat ride into town because i've abandoned angelina (my minolta SLR's new name given by JP) for the past three days and miss exploring the opportunity to set up interesting composites.

my voice is in great shape and am looking forward to the upcoming fall term at laurier. i received a letter from victor (my vocal professor) today concerning a concert in october to be given to the german consulants (?) by all the laurier students in his studio who are participating in the FEO so that shall be exciting. i will be singing two german brahms lieders, both of which i do not know. i'll have to hunt for the music when i go shopping in town.

i've been meeting a lot of great people, learning not to isolate myself with the same kinds of people. generally the north americans stick together and the europeans have their little clique of countries. there are definitely language barriers but still very pleased with the friends i've made. and no, i have not completely lost my asian roots. chi hoe mak (i call him "chi-chi-CHI-A") from malaysia speaks cantonese, so its nice to practice a couple 'aiyahs' and 'mo-gao-tso!!' with another. ;) the british talk is still by far my favourite. i've caught myself saying buggah a lot when things go wrong.

tired as ever. today felt like the longest day yet. i finally had a full rehearsal with the orchestra and hemuth riiling (the director of the festival ensemble). it was definitely hard work, probably lost a pound from intense breathing and lack of food for several hours but it was all worth it. one thing i regret not bringing: a tape recorder to audio tape the glorious sounds the string sectionals produce. i was on my way back to the forrest to go home and i passed by the cello room. i stopped walking, and almost couldn't breathe for the music had overtaken me. i literally collasped from the gorgeous music that the three celloists were making and tentively listened outside their door. never have i experience music like that. i had to walk in and tell them how much i appreciated their rehearsal. luckily for me, they were americans so i didn't have to embarrass myself with my terrible german. you know that expression, that making music is like making love. i fully understand that now.

anyway, god granted us with a beautiful sunset last night. i praise Him for his glorious ways.

{copy and paste url} http://www.festivalensemble.org/2003/photos/0813/images/030813_025.jpg

for daily updates of what life is like in my shoes click on the URL on the left column, underneath my picture. FEO photographer has some great shots done with his digital

btw, HAPPY BDAY G!! feel any older?? :D

i'm a bit late, but i just had to say one thing before i put the night cap on:

H A P P Y B Ü R F D A Y C H U N G !!! *big hugs*
wish i was there to tell you in person :( but i know you're in gut händs. ;)

its almost midnight but i just thought id write the recent happenings with today.

we had our first chorale rehearsal today. the choir is.... *gasp* unbelievably good. i am completely floored to the talents of these singers but go figure, i mean, you take 80 of the worlds best singers and put them in one grand hall to warm up, and still... it is beautiful music. the sopranos have the trademark of going a little under pitch at times and we still have a lot of belting basses but generally it's mind blowing. altos, if i may say so myself, KICK tremendous arse! we are sooo good. its ... *WOW* i have never experienced such a powerful and controlled section. even when i sing double forte, (and people who've sung with me know that the faintest whipsers of my voice cant be disguised in a crowd) i CAN'T hear myself because everyone around me sounds JUST like me. same color tone, same vowels. the blend is overwhelming. and we're all from different countries. i guess opera training must be similar. i've talked to dozens of people today, mainly singers and everyone is serious about music and wish to take vocal performance as a carreer path. ha, it's no wonder the choir is exceptionally good - we have group of divas and divos!

some things i've discovered so far:

- even though im in germany, i have been speaking more french. with JP and a french roomate from ottawa (named Andreanne) its rather odd that i address the germany people in french. haha
- so far, i've met 90% north americans and 10% europeans. what can i say.. canadians/americans DOMINATE.
- germany is absolutely gorgeous. the country life is beau and the city life is just as intriguing.
- german owns the nicest sunsets. i would sleep outside if i could do watch the sun rise.
- i speak with a british accent when i talk to germans, an italian accent when with the french, and a strange 'jah' after every phrase to all these from russia. why my pronounciations fluctuate, i do not know.
- no matter how hot, when you sleep, do not let your skin touch another part of your skin because more sweat forms. =ß
- its not cool walking uphill with flipflops. i tell ya, i can lose 10 pounds easily on this trip. the walking from the dorms to rehearsal halls is TEDIOUS. RIDICULOUSLZ TEDIOUS. we're talking 15 minute hike through bumpy rocked paths in the forrestry area, through the mountains, then uphill (almost like 90 degrees right up) passing a cow farm full of manuer smell then crossing the bridge to the school. im terribly out of shape, alreadz panting after walking uphill once. hrm, we'll see if that changes by the end of week 2.
- food here is great. much of what i've never seen before but it's good to try things out. salad with assorted vegetables and vingrette creamy seasoning is a popular choice for me.
- things dont come cheap around here. my first item: 1Litre of orange FANTA pop for 95 euros. i LOVE THAT STUFF! why didn't they bring it to Canada?
- you can leave the windows wide open and mosquitos won't bother you. why? BECAUSE MOSQUITOS DONT EXIST IN ÜBERLINGEN!!! wooot!
- i am being paid way too much $$$ considering everything is covered. they really do treat you like kings here.

there's a pretty big line up so i'm gonna make this quick

first off, i had an excellent flight going to frankfurt. i met the most amazing family. mixed parents with mixed kids. the father is practically my ideal husband and i became instant friends with his wife, having conversation throughout the six hour flight when not napping. but this is where the nightmare begins...

so i was delayed two hours in toronto to check in my luggage. apparently the computers broke down but i am not sure if i buy that. so i'm 1 hour late for my 9:30 flight, i dont board the plane till 11:00. while seated in the most luxurious seat, (plenty of leg room!) i dont spot a single chorale member. i get a little nervous but continue to follow the crowd. thankfully, i still remember frankfurt airport (when i was last there to depart for spain two years ago) so i manage to make it through the ridiculous maze. i go to the gate to transfer from franfurt to stuttgart and the flight attendant tells me my seat has been given up since i was too late (which wasnt even my fault since luftlansa was delayed). she only had 2 seats left and there was three of us left. isabelle, sean and i. the rather rude flight attentant makes it clear that not all of us can join our other 8 canadians to fly to stuttgart. argh! she suggested we take the train directly to stuttgart, then taxi it to the airport. i was running like a madman, honestly felt like i was running the Ämazing Race, with very little information given and only gut instint to rely on. anyway, after an 1 hour train ride and a hilarious taxi ride with a friendly german, i made it to Stuttgart airport. another 3 hours on a coach bus and i'm in salem international college. oh but get this: my luggage (along with several others) hasnt arrived. uncertained of where it is. perhaps still in frankfurt! so pray that it gets to salem college ASAP cause i stink like a pitbull and i have absolutely NOTHING to change into or clean with in this disguistingly 40 degree weather!! :ß ARGH!

on a side note, the salem college is incredibly BEAUTIFUL. the school is so spoiled here. with fasinating architeture and breath taking views. i dont wanna come home. cant wait to show you the pictures. :D

until next time, tsüss

p.s. forgive the grammatical errors. zou wouldnät believe HOW difficult it is to use german kezboards.

for seven months, i've had *AUGUST 9th* engraved in my head, in hopes that i will join the chamber ensemble to journey and experience germany to the fullest. after much prayer, hard work and patience - that day has come. in less than 5 hours i will be in the air, looking down on home as it sleeps for the night. truthfully speaking, i am scared. more than anything. not because i am in a foreign country i am vaguely familiar with, or that i will be leaving behind friends and family for the rest of the summer, but i fear what is to come. i fear of being lost. i fear of losing sight of Jesus. i fear of coming home in regret.

i had a vision while i slept uncomfortably last night. i was on my knees, crying and trying to rub off the crimson on my legs. it remained cold and numb yet it still felt like burning. not even the cleaniest waters could cleanse the vicious reds. i awoke this morning with the most painful muscle strain on my calves, to the point where i couldn't move. nothing made the pain go away, whether i remained still or tried to stretch it. so i just laid there in agony, praying for God to heal my wounds... i fell asleep while i prayed, woke up and still felt the muscle pain, but with less pain. i don't know if what i faced was symbolic but it sure was excruciating.

it's evident that in the scenario i will be placed in the next 4 1/2 weeks, it will be easy to follow others and be lead astrayed. so i ask that you help me by praying for my focus while i am away from my christian environment. pray that i will be able to maintain a close relationship with Jesus and not fall into the habit of running to him when times are sour. i am bringing my diary to journal my thoughts and record what things i've learned from Oswald Chambers, but i will do my best to update my blog as often as possible to inform you all of my discoveries while slaving and exploring in Germany.

i will keep a list of prayer items on the left column. keep an eye out for changes!
until next time in germany...

god bless.

woot! my djembes arrived early!!



my daddio spent a hefty 5 bills for the 12" djembe, back strap, case and tuner.
THANKS DAD, YOU'RE THE GREATEST!

i came across the WEIRDEST site.
believe me when i say i was not looking for sites under this particular subject. i found it while blog surfing. i'm just baffled that such a thing exists. *stratching head* what a paradox.
___

check out a small sample of {PNEUMATOS ReTREAT ImAGES}

today has been mad jokes.
first off, i need to stop sleeping past 2am - it's awful! and then i miss half the day sleeping. i gotta quit challenging dawn in gaming.
anyway, i spent the day with amanda on another photographic expedition. we couldn't think of a more convient place than Eaton Centre, so off we went. DT hasn't changed much since we last met up to shoot our black and whites in february. last time we were focused on "abstract" elements. today was more on "scenaric and nature" composites... heh, and of course "amanda" and how to entertain the shutter with multiple exposures in one frame. i didn't have a tripod, so we'll see how steady my hands ended up being on the subway train.

i know amanda's gonna kill me but it's worth a good laugh. {click image for more pictures}


___

on a more serious note, i witnessed an awful car accident today on sheppard and don mills. i was only 2 cars away from a ford van that was innocently smashed. words can barely describe what happened. seeing something so severe can really silence you. the striking sound of the impact, and the van flipping over like a tumbling jenga game remains in my memory. sadly, the first thing i thought of when the accident occured was to whip out my minoti and start shooting. i'll let the images speak for themselves: {copy and paste url}

http://ericah.netfirms.com/accident1.jpg -- wasn't too far from the scene
http://ericah.netfirms.com/accident2.jpg -- took another shot of one responsible for the mess
http://ericah.netfirms.com/accident3.jpg -- taken from inside my dad's car
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so after realizing there are absolutely no suitcases left in the household to use while in germany, my heroic parents bought me a blue 29", mother of all suitcases. and it expands as you put more clothes inside - how whack. so the packing adventures have begun. even though i'm packing earlier than planned, i know i'm gonna forget something. it's just too typical of me.

i'm feeling rather pressured now. i only have 4 days left and i'm fairly behind on learning all my notes for the German repetoire, brushing up on my German vocabulary and i'm not even close to finishing chung's scrapbook. i'd hate to carry that project out for another year. how dreadful. though it's nice seeing how much maturing has occured from your friends and yourself. i was just reading the entries i wrote andy and it's rather odd seeing how much you've changed over a period of a year just from your own writting.

anyway, i should go back to packing/cleaning/scrapbooking before i end this post with a ridiculous amount of tangents.
à la prochaine.

wow, so much has happened and i've barely skimmed the details. i've been pre-occupied with so many things that it's hard NOT to keep this energizer erics* going. i can't believe August has slowly crept itself over. when i look back at the past 3 months i've been home, it boggles my mind how fast time flew over me. it's pretty sad - i haven't been as productive as i would have liked to be, nor can i say that i've accomplished anything so grand to be proud of. my summer has mainly consisted of a LOT of shopping, chilling and composing. didn't even whip out the resume to edit. didn't even bother looking for employment. didn't even stash the cash to take a major trip. wanna know why? cause everything and anything i've been looking forward to as been hyped up on GERMANY. yes, GERMANY and GERMANY alone.

i cannot believe i will be leaving in 9 days. despite the long anticipation, dreaming about my adventures there, and imagining the luxurious life in europe as a *not-so* struggling artist, at this moment i feel sadden. almost like i don't want to go. i will be leaving so many things behind. i never thought my opinions could change but i feel burdened in my heart. i have difficulty understanding this heavy tug, with chung's little whimper saying, "Do you really have to go?" repeating in my head. perhaps God is trying to tell me something? i do not know. but i know i am ready for anything and am prepared to face the worst of times.

truthfully speaking, many personal goals were set to be met before i leave Germany. one of them was loosing the fifteen pounds i had gained from frosh year. i figured people would have a better impression of me had i been back to a weight i was more comfortable with. during the summer, i struggled to keep the numbers low; had lost 8 pounds at one point, but gained it all within weeks. i was so discouraged that i had not achieved any of the goals i had made. not one. i thought by doing these things my experience with people would be so much more enjoyable. but thinking about it now, i realize i cannot control the outcome of the trip, even if it means looking fabulous in the end. because the day i lose focus of the cross and who it is that has created me, i am lead astray. i am nothing without Christ. i mustn't obsess over first impressions or being accepted from others because essentially God is the one who controls that. i need to learn to put full trust in Him. trust that He will lead me the right way; to the right people and the right places so that i don't have to become conscience about superficial things, but only of my words and my actions.

woah - mad holy spirit action. i feel so much better now, so reassured after writing that. all righty, Germany - i'll be ready for ya, so you better BRING it! nothing can defeat the bond i have in Christ and His power. :)

after browsing through her work, i want to go to the zoo now.

i'm still on the fence about going to the Stones Concert. weighing out the pros and cons, they're pretty even. but this only happens once in a lifetime and I really don't mind standing on grassy land for 10 straight hours. Just don't know if the performers on the concert setlist are worth the strain on my feet. my experience last year in the uber small Opera House to see my Johnny was fairly brutal - to the point where i felt like i was suffocating and my entire lower body was so numb, i almost forgot i was stationary in one spot for 4 hours. but i was too mesmorized by that one hunk of a talented man so my mind was taken away from my pain. and let's be honest - mick jagger ain't exactly apple pie. if anything, i'm going to that concert for SAM ROBERTS and *hesitation*.... a little of that timberlake. but only because i know he's a pro entertainer. he's multitalented. definitely got the goods.
____

11 DAYS TILL GERMANY

gosh, am i excited! but the more i think about it, the more worried i become. it's more an issue of people and acceptance than anything. i know my tolerance, i know i've grown so much stronger in Christ to not fall for certain temptations but i think of worse case scenarios: like alcoholic roomates who are prone to sex and the party scene, manipulative people who will do anything to bring you down, and generally just not having people watch my back. i will be sure to go in with a positive mindset and keep that face smiling, even when buttons are pushed. i've been trying to work at that - rejoicing in the Lord for He is good and learning to focus on that, knowing i am saved and loved by Him rather than let the small things hinder my experience throughout the day. please keep me in your prayers. on the week of, i will be sure to post a prayer list of requests.

oh, and get this: i CAN STILL UPDATE ON MY BLOG WHILE i'm GONE!! there is free internet access in the salem college that i'm staying at! woo hoo!! so i won't be completely disconnected from everyone. i can still check my mail! yee-haw! praise GOD!

wah, what a weekend... went camping in Orillia for the weekend avec mes pneumatos university peeps, but sunday felt like the longest sunday i've ever experienced. from the roadtrip home, to endless hours tent setting and thorough cleaning, then dinning for a Swiss Chalet Feast, and later shooting pool at Suzie Q's... oh that's just a mere sample of tonight's events. i am so dreadfully pooped so i will end off will a photograph from camp that i think is uber heroic. mad kudos to the Big G. god bless that canoon S50.


c'est moi ~ digging up soil to put out the fire after our bonfire sharing on saturday night.

AHHH!!!*giddy excited*




CAN'T WAIT, CAN'T WAIT!!

ARGH!!!

i've got less than 24 hours and i'm relatively blank for RETREAT GAME ideas.
c'mon God - why aren't the juices flowing?
any ideas to get the ball rolling? the theme for the university retreat is: UNITY
Unity with Yourself, Others and God.
i need some serious prayer. for now, i'm gonna hide in the bathroom and pray like mad.
definitely need some MAD HOLY SPIRIT ACTION!

dawn wanted me to post this since her blogger has failed her.

erics*: what you doing up so late?

dawn: just... recoiling... u would NOT believe what happened at work today

erics*: what?

dawn: so i'm at the till, and there's a line up of about 15 customers and this big man comes up to me and states his order rather mumbly and quickly. i asked him a few itmes to repeat his order and he yells, "what's wrong with you? what's wrong with you?!" several times. i was like completely taken back and asked him "would you please repeat that, you keep repeating your order rather quickly and inaudibly."

erics*: oh geez... pagan people. so then what happened?

dawn: then my co-worker chris (complete sweetie) says "excuse me sir, can i take your order on my till? the big oaf "no, i want you to take my order right here." so i back off, get chris to take the order. while i'm getting his stuff ready to go, the guy starts swearing off at chris, bringing chris to lose his temper, and it's a shouting contest, and the guy starts insulting me for being asian. "she's so stupid and retarded. why do you hire asians? they can't speak english anyways." i was like... damn... too hard to resist spitting in burger..... so chris yells at the pinhead "yo buddie... my break is in like 5 mins, meet me outside in the parking lot!" the guy grabs his order and everyone runs to the window to see. chris was like shouting and the oaf's 16 yr old son pulls out a knife. i'm like "holy crap! holy crap!" MJ the manager on duty, calls the cops and at that moment, the big jerkish guy punches Chris right in the eye. chris pulls off as the cops come around. everyone's beig held at mc d's for questioning. i pressed charges and so did chris. chris was for aggrevated assault, and mine was for harrassment in the workplace. it was sooo scary, i took a 30 min break, broke down crying... also his son was charged for possession of weapon (illegal gunfound in their car), and threatening others (the knife) cause the guy and son's gang took off before the cops came so they didn't get busted. i was sooo scared i called home on my break. broke down and told my mom. MJ offered to drive me home afterwards cause the guy shouted he would come back later,.. but honestly all mc d's could do was suspend the guy from returning for a year. MJ pulled chris aside later and told him he shouldn't have egged the customer on but seriously, chris saved my life. he stepped in and said what no one but everyone else was thinking... he had courage. but i was so scarred i tell you...

erics*: OMG DAWN.......are you ok now???

dawn: yeha i'm ok...

erics*: was chris chinese?

dawn: nope. he's big white muscley dude

erics*: hahaha awesome. well, that's quite the friend to stick up for you like that

dawn: yes! quite!!!

erics*: well, are you still gonna work there? aren't you scared?

dawn: yeah!! i was like! why mc d's?

poor you, D! i'll be praying for your safety tomorrow at work! i still can't believe you're going back to work after all that!

6 years of work...



...all chopped off. i like the cut, but it's kinda hard to maintain. =\ not a big fan of the blow-drier.

GOD IS GOOD. ALL THE TIME

i'm EXTREMELY proud of the 10 people from my church that went to Mexico with YWAM. ultimately, their lives were changed for the better and Jesus' love shines brightly through them. i see tremendous things for leo chan and peter wu. i was completely rivited by their testimonial sharings. as they were speaking, i could invision those two as preaching pastors in the next 5 years. it was awesome. and to know that peter had the courage to give up his college acceptance from Sheridan College for computer design to enroll himself in Tyndale Seminary is HEROIC. so many speak of these things, giving it all up for Christ - but it only becomes talk. i am in awe of Peter and look up to him for his passion and willingness to follow Jesus, to take that leap of faith and do what his heart tells him. i have yet to battle that voice in my head that yearns to join YWAM's Discipleship Training School. i think my path will be clearer after completing my second year of university. for now, i have to clean up a mess i made.

i pray the Mexico Mission Team continues their passion for God and strongly recommend they never forget any of the intimate moments they had with Jesus and with each other. i feel like they saw so much more than what i experienced in YWAM at Nashville last year....and that was already so overwhelming. my life was definitely changed - my relationship with the Lord mended and everything i 'thought' i was before YWAM came into my life... left me. when i look back, from 2001-2002 it boggles my mind to know how paganized i was. from the horrors i faced at my first imployment to the life lessons and tears i shed from my first long-term relationship. what strikes me most is that i can't even relate the 'old erica' with today's erica. more like i don't WANT to associate myself with the old erica. i've put the past behind me and never fully surrendered my past sins to Jesus. for the longest time, i've felt ashamed and thought the further i pushed those sins, the less i'd have to deal with them. it was an easy way out, but surely wasn't the best solution. i long to share with you all the things that hinder me and the evil that corrupts my mind but i know blogger isn't the way to do it - i await His calling when i know it's right to share. but for now, i am content for i am free from sin - no longer fighting a battle to flee from the "sinful cycle", but working on my love-relationship with Christ and exterminating "bad-habits".

i found a blog that got me hook on the comp for another 4 hours. it had all the links to the real world and road rulers' homepages. now, if you didn't know i am a huge fanatic for reality tv, especially the bunim-murray shows that started the whole 'reality hype' on television. so i came across sites like judd winick - i enjoyed his TPB graphic novel titled "Pedro and Me" about his housemate and sharing moments while on the MTV show and remember that "Steve" i posted cause i thought we was incredibly good looking? (( http://ericairis.netfirms.com/picrefs/steve.jpg ))
well, he has his own site! har har har - he's mad jokes.

well, i found an INCREDIBLE wedding photographer. check out his site: Sherman Chu
i loved the work he did with judd and pam's wedding. they are by far my favourite couple that hooked up on reality t.v. if you wish to take a look, click on 'photo galleries', then 'pam and judd'. if you study his shots, you'll discover that mr. chu is a master at capturing detail and creates such intriguing fairytales that's so brillantly displayed through his photographs. he is most certainly a gifted storyteller. i've been greatly inspired and am prepared to practice wedding photography at wendy and nap's wedding ceremony tomorrow morning. just wished i had more camera equipment to work with....*sigh*

"Everything old is new again..."

i've been boggled down with a lot of issues but as each day passes, God has helped me tackle them all. two main things i've discovered in the past week. first, my tolerance for things i wouldn't normally like, for people i wouldn't usually enjoy, for everything that could make me turn the other cheek. learning to turn the sour....sweet and just dealing with it. second, despite all the trials and tribulations, i know who are my core friends. the ones who will stick through thick and thin. i'm so thankful for these people, particularly one individual. honestly speaking, i hate playing third wheel - but for some reason i've been playing that part and have once again been faced with it. almost like i've been destined for 'miss third'. but i can truly feel comfortable in this situation and feel absolutely no angst. how sweet it is. i'm rather content for my brother and feel extremely blessed that i can be apart of his circle.
____

waterloo was a good escape from home and the daily routine. only downfall while i visited: it was dead - infact depressing. i guess i'm so fixated on the fast city-life of things, and kept myself too busy during the fall/winter terms to even realize that without the people, the town is most certainly dead. kinda wished it was just like old times, with minimal hours of school, sleepless nights conversing, emotional releases at the studio, having a 'sugar-daddie', and weekly worship jams with such passionate and musical people. i look forward to this september - but strictly for those times spent in worship and fellowship. school? bah, i would murder it if i could.

after having an awesome sushi lucheon with nadine and t.lo, i have a mission ---> to prove that i CAN ride a bike. (and swim!) i was quite capable a couple years ago, but that was only for a couple yards off a straight path. i gotta master 'em hills!

after two hours accompanying nayfun & genuine at K-zone, i have a goal ---> to master a female mandarin ballad perfectly. to the point where you couldn't differentiate my vocals from the mando-pop artist. didn't know there were taiwanese divas behind the cheezy chinese music videos.

after spending the night with dawn, i realize ---> I CAN distinguish lubricant from body lotion!! =d just when i thought she forgot about that accident, she brings it up while i oil up. heh heh.
____

i'm in love with damien rice - he's perfect listening gear at night. too bad i'm not back for his one shot deal in TDOT in sept. hrm...perhaps i shall meet up with him in Germany?

this baby will be mine when i come back from europe.
but for now, i've got the big 14" kahoona for retreat worship - woohoo! what d'ya think about the surface design? [take a look at my choices] i'm leaning a little towards "Twinings".

JM update:

1 - i'm completely ecstatic about his 3rd album, "Heavier Things" which comes out in early September. beware lester - when i arrive back from europe, his tunes will sicken you from sunrise to sunset. =d

2 - his tour with the counting crows in the states is doing really well but i wish toronto got a little more recognition. then again, we're the foolish ones for not begging him to play in our town. i mean, 'the rolling stones'? puuulease. y'all know that huge concert next weekend is all about the JAY-TIM-BAH-LAKE.

3 - finally that day has come: jennifer love hewitt has separated herself from my john. overjoyed, i tell ya. overJOYed.
___

i have only one thing to say about canadian idol:

are you KIDDIN' me?!

there's so much to type right now but i do not know where to begin. how about GOD Is GREAT.
how much i love Jesus, no one will ever comprehend but i am thankful i have the opportunity to share this passion with other brothers and sisters of Christ.

personally, i thought fellowship was great. in fact, better than i had planned. i was responsible for an "application night" based on the scripture of 2nd Timothy Chapter 1. i had the group talk about things we wouldn't normally talk about, avoiding cliches such as how did you become a christian? or what makes you the believer you are today? instead i got everyone to share who's the 'fanner' of their flame, or what initially rekindles their fire when the flame is on the verge of going out. then i posed a question that tackled a lot of minds - having to share of when THEY were the ones fanning the flame. kinda bizarre wouldn't ya say? having to boldly state what it is you've done for other people, or how you've made an impact in someone's life. seems quite prideful and unhumble but it challenged people and i learned a lot of things tonight through the sharing. i think it's important we learn to encourage others and appreciate them for the gifts God has given them. Even when it's so little, or assumed that the person knows of their fortes and spiritual gifts - take that pride down and give 'em a pat anyway because every little cent counts and there's no such thing as too much encouragement.

i feel compelled to write these words, to explain my relationship with chung. i know there is much to the puzzle that most are unaware of and as much as it frustrates me to know that it seems our disfunctional relationship is so peculiarly brutal, i sincerely treasure our friendship and would do anything for him. and i hope you know that, ac. as said before - you could stab me in the back and nothing will change. i will still love you like my brother. thank you for the kind words in your letter and i'm sorry... for everything. ((much respecZ))

____

most overrated word: commitment.
it doesn't mean anything anymore.
____

i think everyone is entitled to rant and rage every now and then, but note the above post wasn't meant to imply that EVERYONE lacks the meaning of commitment. it's just frustrating when you feel efforts are lacked. infact, it hurts. almost makes you want to give up. but knowing how powerful God is - he'll pull through and give me a good kick in the buttux of how wrong i am. yeh, no worries. when we put things in God's hands it's all good. retreat's gonna be fantabulous.

another one of rannie's ingenious ideas. perhaps i should try out. =d i mean, i already missed the Canadian Idol auditions so here's my chance to make it up. hah, then what's next? Christian Idol? now isn't that ironic.

so where did i vanish? new york.

blew so much bling in such a short period of time.
i am reigned queen of bargains.
biggest finding ---> 7 cd's for a smashing $17 US.
What Women Want Soundtrack AND Moulin Rouge Soundtrack - $5
Rebecca St. James' Live Worship Cd - $2.99
Barenaked Ladies' Maroon - $4.99
... it was glorious. tedious flipping but worth finding the forks in the ridiculous piles of haystack.

next stop - michigan.
___

i reckon this site's in desperate need of a facelift.
shall crack at it later...

i feel like i'm reaching that level of disappointment and discontentment again.
it's those times of self-evaluation when i realize how much of a failure i am.
too much leisurely time while in isolation is detrimental.
i believe it's time i vanish from my world that consumes me alive.
i shall notify you all of my hiding place when i return.

until next time - take care and cheerio.

totally digging this shoe right now. but i've a feeling birkies aren't as popular in germany as it is in north america. heh...how ironic. if anyone knows of any stores that sell birkenstocks for decent pricing, fill me in. ;)

i've been having the WEIRDEST dreams lately - from involvements with murders to being pregnant. it was whack.
and what freaks me out is that i still vividly remember the scenes. i surely hope the things i dreamt were not symbolic. *shudder*

and my upper right arm is bugging me. i think i tore something. i can't seem to keep it straight. the pain is just like the trauma i went through when i fell off the horse and broke my right arm. *ARGH x1928247* ......*whimper* i feel so hopeless. can't even walk without feeling the bruised muscle.

anyway, going on another photographic expedition today. i'm sick of Eaton Centre. I think i'll look into those djembes at Kensington Market. hrm....

_____

after 4 hours of walking, 2 hours of searching through the ghettos of chinatown and kensington, 7 blisters on 2 feet, 1 extremely sore back, 2 shots taken at the Eaton Centre, and 1 small sized 'O' at Greg's Ice Cream (mmm) - i am pooped. note: don't go to kensington unless yOU KNOW kensington. what a major disappointment! djembes? BAH. nonexistance - at least through the 6 streets i walked through. >=(

i couldn't resist my area, Bay and Bloor, even though the weather was suffocating. i felt like i was walking in the desert with hundreds of fashionable people sweating in their suits and mini-skirts. poor souls. last i heard, shania twain was shopping in the bay and bloor area so i was on the look out for any celebrities. as soon as i step foot on the major intersection - low and behold, mr. william shatner walked right by me. man, that guy really is as quirky as everyone mocklingly claims him to be. he was powerwalking with one bag in hand and no bodyguard. i was tempted to stalk him to snap a shot but i was truthfully too tired to start chasing his pace. i can't wait to buy a nice pair of birkenstocks in germany. hope they're cheaper there than canada.

ooh, i'm so proud.
it's been two days and i already see the arm muscles bulging.
i'll admit, weight lifting is addictive.
and everyday i'm motivated to run a further distance...
if i keep up with it, i'll be jogging my way to church from now on.
hahahah...cha right.

ooooh. *inhaling S's* my arms are sore.
so i finally decided to take my words into play and jog around the neighbourhood. it was the longest run/power-walk i've ever done on my free will. i took the 10 pounder out, and after 50 minutes with extremely tired biceps and triceps, i made a quick homestop for liquids and to free my arms of any weight. headed back out and did another 1.5 hours of powerwalking/jogging around side streets and places i don't usually visit. something i observed while out on the street - you can tell what ethnicity the houseowner is just by looking at the front yard. well, with some exceptions. sitting porch area with an abundance of 'impatience flowers' ---> italian. any pastels or shades of blue/pink painted on window panels or garage doors ---> chinese. simplified garden of mostly greens and big plants ---> east indian. a garden that looks like the work of martha stewart, elaborate detailing and color schemes ---> caucasion. any nomes situated in the garden --> that's a dead givaway. ;) ok, this is ONLY what i observed from passing numerous big streets. i'm not trying to make a statement here, so no hate mail on how racist i am, ok fans? =d but next time i go for exercise, i'm bringing my camera along. some gardens should be showcased. excellent use of flowers and design. *sigh* kind of makes me wish my house had invested more time and money on the backyard. s'good no one (except my immediate neighbours) have to look at that baren and boring yard.

never thought powerpoint was addictive.
sunday will have quite the powerpoint display.
b2 - all that ansel is especially for you, gurl!
____

what an intense night of planning, prayer and sharing. so much i can write but would like to sum up that i am blessed to have pneumatos university fellowship in my life and take into consideration the people who devote their time and efforts to make the cell group what is it. much is needed to be learned on my part, but i am growing and learning not to focus on the things that bring the whole perspective down. i see great potential in this group and can't wait to see what is to come for the future...
____

just thought i'd plug this in. scroll. now do you see any familiar names? haha....way to go t.lo!

torn between the fine lines
that hold so little of much to come
the heart pounds loudly
as i strive for even the faintest whisper
but only stillness remains
and i am once again left in circles.


ok Lord, hands down - YOU WIN.
you can take the driver seat now.

totally stressing... [ripping hairs as we speak]
i'll be leading worship again this sunday and it's always so nerve racking. even though i know God will provide and He will take me through it, i still have worry jitters. but honestly, He has never let me down. i'm just waiting for that day when i take His grace for granted and have things crumble right before my eyes, in the middle of service. but let's not go there. i will have faith. i will continue proclaiming His love through worship and love him unconditionally. God is good. All the time.

another thing that brings me less hairs, course selections. bah. i hate school. enough said.

so this pneumatos camping retreat is finalized. totally happening - woot! can't wait. i just can't believe july is closely approaching and i will have only one more month of summer before i leave for europe. man, i'm gonna miss everyone. *sob* i pray things run smoothly while working like a madman for the chorale ensemble and that i don't end up miserable and desperate to come home. (like what happened in spain. =\ man that was a rough ride.)

this new blogger setting is so posh. i like. i like. =) ok time to jam at my piano. gotta start practicing. *sigh* i miss waterloo worship jam sessions.

the randomness in my head

one of the cherries in my basket looked suspicious. i think it was trying to escape. i guess i better eat them up fast before they all start to leave me.

i miss the beach. i've told myself every morning that i'd get up before 10 am to catch the sun on my deck and finish blending in the tan lines but still i find myself locked in my own world, inside the well air conditioned house. i'm terrible. i haven't been outside for more than 15 minutes in such a long time. but i have an excuse to go out since we have that camping meeting with pastor joe and the pneumatos gang. hope that goes well and we get things going. oooh, i'm starting to get the gitters.

i'm a little disappointed that i won't be here for august. besides missing out on the planning and scheming for chung's and garway's birthday i'll be missing jKao's concert. dang, i could have made up for the mistakes i did at last year's concert by being his photographer again. it was hard to say no. >:( and i just found out from his site that adrian 8W will be opening for him again!! >=o DARNIT! hrm.....maybe i can arrange a flight from germany back to tdot for one night so i can catch the opening show??.....*shaking head* eyah. not happening. so i hope someone tapes it so i can see what i missed. i just wanna hear the opener and jkao's new material. and for those who are still in town, i highly recommend going to the concert. it's already worth it just to hear 8w break it down, man.

currently transposing steven curtis chapman's "When Love Takes You In." what a well written song. makes me cry everytime. i hope to hear that sung one day at a wedding. =) go download it if you don't know the song. but watch out for the bead of tears that want to stream down.

john williams - that man is a GENIOUS. i'm analyzing his scores from "Catch Me If You Can." i could listen to the opening credits for hours. ((doo-de-doot. doo--de-doot)) haha. my mum thinks it's annoying. "ho gang" as she says.

i came up with new songs dedicated for worship material. i don't like to musically notate my work cause it takes too much time and is a pain to disect into such brokendown detail. i really need to look into a mp3 recorder so i don't lose anything i've written. any suggestions on recording devices? i'm oblivious when it comes to the latest gadget.

i've been staring at the ceiling for 2 hours now.
i can't sleep. i've got too much on my mind. >=\
_____

[ B2 WASAGA BEACH PICtureS ]
too bad my camera didn't do me justice cause the sunset shots weren't as dramatic as seen in real life. but overall, i was pleased with the shots i took. more leisure photographs rather than portfolio work. enjoy!

i am scarred. scarred for life.

it had its major highs and shocking lows but i generally had a great weekend. no, take that back - i had a FANTABULOUS weekend. i praise my God for He loves me and He is never changing in His glorious ways. my highlights: the quiet moments i spent with God accompanied by calming sounds of the water, surviving a huge fire that set danielle's lawn chairs and towels on fire near the deck, and doing what i love most on vacation - taking photographs. so many potential commercial shots for beer ads =b
so after three days in the gorgeous sun i have concluded that i will one day...
a.) live at the beach
b.) find a man at the beach
c.) marry him at the beach
d.) have kids at the beach
e.) take daily strolls with the family (including the family dogs - one shitzu, one pug) at the beach
f.) and watch the sun set every night.... AT THE BEACH.
i couldn't have asked for better weather! i took 2 rolls of randomness. wasaga beach = CLEANEST beach i've ever been too. i will definitely go there again - it's worth the 2 hour drive.

hahahaahahahahah.........
this kid has too much time on his hands.

[ Eric Conveys an Emoticon ]
(seems like something i would do)
____

--> my prayer requests <--
cottage trip ---> pray for safety and sanity. i trust those girls but it's not like i'm going to bible camp. =d
14 girls + 1 cottage = too much estrogen ---> yeh, you get the idea. pray for minimal butt-heading.
man vs. nature ---> i want to come home alive and well, therefore no rashes or attacks of red itchy bumps from mosquitos - oooh, they love my terribly sweet blood. *sigh*
devotions ---> i'm bringing Oswald's Utmost with me. pray i am consistant with my daily morning readings.

ok. i better start packing now....
y'all be GOOD, now.

i'm stoked! in less than 24 hours, i'll be headed for wasaga beach. it's gonna be UBER fun and jokes at the cottage. *teeny bopper cry* - my first time cottaging!! i miss the girls on my floor - haven't seen them since we all departed our ways in early april. *sob* i was the last to arrive and last to leave B2.
i'm totally looking forward to taking some great experiment shots with shutter speed when i head for the beaches. i'll definitely be using the B2 girls as models, just like last time (with the church youth retreat at jackson's point) when i needed inspirational photographs for my visual arts project, colour animation on canvas. anywho, i'll be sure to keep you all posted with the shots i took while soaking in the sun. ahhhhh......

and one more thing:
HAPPY BEATS PHILLY PULSE!!
hope you celebrate well! be sure to tell us how your day went.... CHEERS! *cling*

ah, costco makes me happy....

just came home with my mum from grocery shopping. there was an abundance of sample ladies at red table clothed booths. before i took each sample, i thought about pastor joe's anecdote from his sermon last sunday, about his adolescent days when he used to abuse the samples, treating it like dinning in for lunch - all for free. i felt guilty, but seriously, i take the things because i actually *sample* them so if they're any liking to my taste buds, then i'll grab the product and buy. of course protein shakes and granola bars turn me off, but the latest dorito chip? suuuuure, i'll try that.

i loooooooove cherries, the kind that have been just pulled off the cherry tree. costo's selling 4kg of fresh cherries from california for $14.95. mmmm....yummy. i'm eating them right now as we speak! and i remember alli's awesome welch's fruit packs, so i bought a box of 40 pouches. too cute. i feel like a kid again.

pretty stoked about the Fame two hour special tonight @ 8. i have my eye on Harlemm Lee - he has the *triple threat* plus it'd be nice to see an asian steal away the gold. but truthfully speaking here - it's hard to cast him a role, i mean, he's barely even 5'6. *sigh* poor guy.
____

*GASP* Harlemm LIED! He's not 27!! but turning 36!!

oooooh... i can almost smell Germany from here!

i received all my airflight and train tickets to Berlin via 'Luftpost'. Lufthansa, economy class.
Ich fliege im August nach Deutschland.
Ich habe ein bisschen Angst aber Ich bin gespannt auf die Tour!

currently: *trying* to enjoy my drink. i made a bad mudslide. too much kahlua, not enough bailey's. belgh.

it's that time of the month again.

i hate it - it's like i have absolutely no control over my mind. i'm like a ticking time bomb. i snap at the smallest things. i've already yelled at my mom for startling me by calling my name this morning. glad my mother laughed and didn't take me seriously. but thankfully this "phase" is only for one day. but man, the PAIN --- it kills. s'like captain hook stabbed me in the lower abdominals with his sharp edged hook and left the heavy hook hanging there, so it's pulling me down. eyah. my apologies - that was pretty graphic.

anyway, the day turned for the good. i had dim sum with my past private vocal teacher and coach at Dynasty on Bay and Bloor, my favourite area. how sad that it's been two months since i've been in that area. i guess after moving back home, i've been too busy to have personal priviledges to shoot on film downtown. i bought minolti with me, but i didn't make much use of him. :( the town seemed so dead, there was nothing intriguing to capture. but it's ok. i had fun taking my mother shopping in the area i once called 'home'. it's not so much the spending aspect as it is the 'window shopping' experience for me. i would never pull out my credit card for purchases at "Daniel's" nor would i possibly be allowed in at "Holt Renfrew" with my choice of attire. but it's the coffee shops and people i meet that i admire most.

currently listening to newest from Radiohead - !!!!! I've only listened to the first track, Sit Up. Sit Down. and it's A-MA-ZING!! i'm so content that they decided to go back to their original sound. i'd say the tracks are better than "OK Computer." i'm going shopping downtown with tiff tomorrow (haven't seen that girl since my loo days, and we're like neighbours back home) so i'm stoked to take a visit to HMV. woot!

make the aches go away....PLEASE. =\
my 4 hour naps have just made me more groggy (as share likes to put it) and terribly weak.
i have the most unusual eye-ache - it's exactly what a headache feels like but the pain is behind the sockets. weird.

but on a side note:
i love my grandpa. i don't think i'll fully understand why he enjoys sharing stories of the unfortunate or depressing sinful habits people do, but i do enjoy watching him. he has the grin of a mischievious six year old, and that one tooth surviving on his bottoms adds to that image. i jokingly poke fun at him for not embracing the weather. he likes to cave himself in with his taffy sweets and chinese operas, accompanied with his typical cottoned two-pieced pyjamas. i dared him to venture out the neighbourhood in his PJ's - but he refused. looking at his clothing he bickers "Can't go out like this - umm duck-ah" *grin* i just laughed. i hope i get to see my grandparents more. i'm starting to realize how important spending time with them is. i'm sure my grandparents count each day as a blessing, that at 85+ they are still breathing, but we shouldn't take away opportunites just because they're aging. time is precious. each day should be spent doing something significant. so i'd hate to see them end the journey in their lives boxed up in that house, chewing taffy, watching the soaps.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY DADDIO! i hope you get well soon!

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....in so much pain right now.
my knees, my wrists, my joints...
BURRRRRRRRRNING.

oh, i miss waterloo.....



nayfun so kindly lended me his digital, so i went buck. took shots of all the things that held some value to me. from graffiti on the furniture to floor signs....even the toilet stall where i often prayed.
---piano: my favourite piano in the practice rooms on campus. i'd go there at least once a day, usually during extremely late hours to vent out feelings.
---lines: every morning when i opened the B2 door i'd see lines spread across from the railing of the balcony. i always planned on taking a shot of it.
---view: from my single suite. it'd show the most amazing sun rises and sets (and the moon often liked to glisten above my window pane, sufficent lighting for night reading and meditation.
---shades by the window: if you peeked in and saw that, you'd know erics* was jamming in that particular room.
---nayfun's Jesus Superaction Figure Hero: just goofing around while i helped him move into lester for the summer term. =d

oh, whatta night.....

it was worth all the hectic and busy schedules. i was miss photographer for my mother's retirement. 4 rolls done in just a little over an hour. the one who stole the show after the retirement was over - EVAN! he's so talkative now! apparently, he's been saying my name on a constant basis. his mom called me a couple days before to tell me he's been saying "Er-cah! Er-cah!" and would open their photo albums to point at pictures of me. And I hardly see him!! I mean, last we met, was for Dinner with the Yu family in April so i was relatively surprised! Evan was so well behaved today. Barely any singing/screaming and lot of new vocabulary and names. He could spit out the four syllables words, imitating vowels and sound diction extremely well. he even tried to tackle - "immediately" and he's not even 2 years old yet! twas an excellent edition to the dinner table, i enjoyed him immensely.



awh, he was such a poser.....

and one more thing....

HAPPY RETIREMENT MUM! I'm so proud of you.....
this is just the beginning of a new chapter in your life. Hope you find something great to make your life just as fulfilling and exciting.