You Are Ariel!

Headstrong and fiesty. You have a mind of your own that's full of romantic dreams about the world around you. Exploring exotic places is your ultimate dream, and although you can be a little naive you'll realize that there is something to be gained from your family's wisdom.

Woke up super early today as well. Arh... Guess I'm used to waking up early? Need some time to adapt... Bored to wake up so early and I really need my sleep to get rid of my panda eyes and pimples... Maybe I can go for early jog in the future, but... I'll wait till I'm back from Taiwan... *grins* Just let me be lazy and slack for just this period.

Went for the movie "Mr Bean's Holiday" yesterday with Glad. It's not bad but not as nice as I expected. Maybe lack of people in the cinema? Seems that I'm the only 1 laughing at some point... Glad even dozed off at some point... Really happy to meet up with her! It's not the quantity but the quality! Treasure it... Sad to say that it'll be a long time after for us to meet again with all of us so busy in our own life, miss those secondary school days... Ming's coming back but Glad's and Qi might be leaving for studies soon... Arh... I'll be the only 1 stucked here and I really looked forward to the day when we all 4 can meet up again... It had been years since we last did.... By the way, congrates Ming!!!! He's seems to be a nice guy.. Hee... *winks winks*

Looking foward to my Malaysia trip tomorrow!! Hope it turn out well. I had no idea exactly which part of Malaysia I'm going and the itinary... Just go and enjoy, I hope... Excited yet I had not start packing yet... Leaving later in the late afternoon to go over to my aunt's house to stay overnight.

My partner called me yesterday night and cried... Glad that I left... But I really feel so guilty and terrible inside... Things worsen there.... Her load doubled, her exam leave cancelled, she had to go over to new plant during her shift and OT at old plant, meaning that she has to work combo... All the paper work at old plant she had to settle at new plant and she'll be the PIC over at new plant. She has the capabilities, I have that trust and belief in her. She can do it and when she survived all those, hopefully the blind management is able to see and give her what she deserves. I feel, she'll be a better engineer than the current two. In terms of decision-making, planning, leadership and analysis I feel she'll be much better. The only short-coming is that she dont know japanese language and she lack that degree paper which she'll trying to get now... The gal replacing me had to stand alone at old plant despite only been transferred over for a week. Character wise, she's more playful and hack-care, dare to fight back bosses, perhaps she's the one to tackle my ex-bosses? Arh... I dont know what to say to them, seems that I'm the cause...

Crazy me... Woke up 5am in the morning despite being offically jobless now. I should be slacking on bed... Felt good to be out of hell.

But on the other hand, I feel so guilty leaving them behind, esp my partner... Yes, she's not the best of partner but we had been 'fighting' hand in hand for the past few months. Fought all the way till my last day. Worked combo for the past 3 weeks. Worked more than 12 hours for some of the days, 'fighting' with the night shift people to use the machines. Felt so pity for myself then, cried a couple of times. I gave my company the benefit of the doubt that they'll pay my ot pay correctly and reminburse my cab fares. The cab fares alone kills. All these is just to finish up my work and earn that little bit of extra few hundred bucks. What's demoralising was my bosses simply take a look at the results and returned to me without a word of thanks. Make me feel like a fool! Used to hate them for simply using my report and analysis to report to the management and suppliers but now, I felt worse! Are they really trying to be funny or my report is not useful?

My workers, more frequent in missing in action during working hours, late for work, more MC cases and displinary issuses after they learnt that I'm leaving soon. Was fuming mad and had the temptation to leave right away. Fought back the urge and I had to do everything myself, did inspectors work and my work. Even did warehouse work too. *laughs* More experienced now... Now I know how to use the jet [warehouse people call it jet] to lift up pallets, it's isnt easy and it's damn hard work. All shagged after that. Guess what? All those sweat just to inspect the barcodes on the pallets and to take photos as evidence. I had enough of the people there... Yes, putting work aside, they are a nice bunch of people but in work, they are hopeless.

Learnt precious lessons there... And the most important: At work, one cant afford to be soft-hearted and nice. Strict and fierce is the way to get my people to work. Made a wrong step then and suffered coz I'm not able to push my people to work. Tried to be strict and fierce but too late, they are not scared of me, and the respect is gone. No power in my hands... Plus the brainless and hopeless bosses and the pressure from work, I left and it's a excellent choice to leave. I had more reasons to leave than to stay. Proud to say that I survived those months, just 3 months and I experienced so much. I'll NEVER forget my people, my 'beautiful' bosses, the pushy productions, the preparation for audit in less than 12 hours, the audit, the rush for results, the various issues, trouble-shooting, the various 'easy' tasks given by my bosses, etc... Huge challenge, though sad to say that I left and lost to the challenge, choosing to escape by resigning. Still had that hole and frustration in my heart that I lost. Hate losing... But... I've grown up and stronger now, I hope... Wonders how my partner and the gal replacing me going to survive there with mass production starting at new plant...

I had enough of my brainess boss.... Arh.... Treating her with less and less respect. Haha, it's funny to see her jumped up with anger, but at the same time, it makes things worse, cause she'll try to make things difficult for me. But I'm proud to say I braved them through. *head high, applause please...* Going work is a pure torture for me now, simply had to drag myself up everyday.... For the sake of the pitiful few hundred bucks, I'll bear it it.... Counting down to my last day. It's so near yet so far.... Reaching out to the following goals after my last day...

• Preparing for Holidays!!!! [rush rush rush, lots of things unprepared and leaving for JB on 31st March, before coming back and prepare to go Taiwan]
• Get rid of the puffy panda eyes and terrible pimples breakouts
• Get back my health, esp blood pressure *****
• Sorting and organising my belongings and the whole room plus living room's cabinets
• Finish watching the movies, vcds and dvds
• Self-enrichment activities
• Perhaps some DIY gifts
• Indulge in my hobbies

Far too stressed and busy, giving myself till late april and early may to relax. Prepare myself for the challenges ahead, be it studying part-time and working full time or working part-time and studying full-time...

Finally managed to crawl out of bed, visit the doctor and had my lunch. Feel terrible. Guess I'm forcing myself too much... Till my body is breaking down? Imagine the power of stress? I was diagnosed with migraine and high blood pressure (as usual) and stress and no rest is making my condition worse. Am I really stressing myself so much? Even the doctor is asking me to rest more, relax, watch my diet and exercise. Ya, I understand and I know... Need to built my health back once again and it's not going to be easy. Now feeling terrible, the medicines are not making me any better and it's those days of the month. Kill me please!!!!

How to relax and rest more? My people are not listening to me, are riding on top of me, my partner is not that co-operating, and I have to go back work 12 hrs almost everyday in order to cover her shift as well as she's having tests currently, need to cope with both operations at both plants and bosses are catching work duties and responsilities from others and pushing and forcing down onto us, others and bosses are chasing after you, silly relationship in the office. I'm totally drained. Working for 12hrs is no laughing matter, and I had been working without any off days for the past week. If not that I'm too weak to drag myself out today, I need to go back work today as well. It's nice to see the slight increase in money coming in due to the increase of working hours but that few hundred bucks I made is not enough to cover up my losses....

It might sounds great to others to have 12 people working under you, and people calling you boss. But it's too much for me to take. I told them that my working style is dont care how you work, your characters or who are your friends and enemies in this group. When things need to be done, do it! I dont mind you eating snake at times, I can close one eye when I see you, cause it normal, I do so too but if you are unable to produce results and work and adding an burden to others, I'm sorry, I cant torlerate that. I brought up to my boss to terminate one of my guys. I hate to do that, but she had been here for 1/2 year, working almost everyday and she cant remember the basic part codes and understand the simple few terms we use at work, I cant take it. She keep making mistakes and not admitting it. Not willing to learn, and giving us the attitude and problems, there's no point in keeping her here. Was in a dilemma then, it's cruel to terminate somebody but I really need to get things done. If I can have my ways, I'll try to change things there. The people and the ways things are done. But my bosses are not allowing any termination cause from the way I see it, they couldnt fight for more manpower from management and we are desperately in need of manpower thus, we will have to make do with it. What the....

The responsibilities, the leadership and the EQ and IQ needed, I'm really not up to it I guess. But at least I'm better than my bosses. At times I really wish I can kill them, please, you all are not doing our job and might not understand how your guys work and the difficuities they face, but at least, please dont add on!!! I asked for manpower and you couldnt fight for it, fine, but dont give in to others and making our job more difficult. Please co-ordinate things nicely and understand the procedures before sending emails to others stating that WE will do this and that. IT CANT BE DONE AT TIMES!!! Please discuss with us and dont just do it without thinking, brainless!!!! I shouldnt be bothering so much now. It was so torturing that I don't feel like stating the details, all those above are just in general.. If I were to state in details the blog is going to burst like I did!! Its driving me crazy.. Not that I didn't try to make things works, but it just lose control.. Maybe I really lose the heart to work there. After all, it's my last month working there. I shouldnt care, I should be most carefree person there now!!! What is stopping me is my responsibilities and stubborness. Hate to leave things undone, it's isnt me, not my character. I need to be more bo chup.... Wonders if I'm really that unluckily in my career path... It's so bumpy and tough..... Or the problem lies in me?

Arrrr..... Saw that "Slipper guy" again on my way back home! Same thing, he followed me. I had enough!!! Just his luck that I'm feeling bad mood today. Turned around, stared at him, hoping to kill him with my look. Guess what? He simply stand there and stared back at me!!! Turned back and walked to the lift, preparing to use my super-duper heavy bag to beat him up if he still continues to follow me. Luckily, he just stood there, else I wonder if I'll dare to beat him up. Was shivering when I reached home, I know by now that the slipper man is mentally-unstable, what if... Cant bear to think about it. Who knows, tomorrow's headline will be "Stares causes her death; 22 years old gal killed by slipper man". I'm too quick-tempered and rash... Regrets too late.

I'm feeling frustrated recently! Mood frequency is too unstable... I'm too easily influenced by others, by their mood, by what they said. Am I too sensitive? I'm hurt and angry by what some had said and done to me. I might not show the damage on the surface but do you all know how much damage is done? Please, though I may be rough, ungentle and have this boyish character, I am after-all a GAL!!! I'm easily hurt and wish to be pampered too. I may look strong but deep inside... I simply couldnt understand what people are thinking!!! Esp Guys... Treat them better, I'm taken for granted else they start to say that they are in love with you, treat them coldly and they said that I'm arrogant with attitude, dont mind the usual shoulder rest, and they start getting touchy, if I voice out my ideas and thinkings, they feel that I'm stepping on their ego, see the need and provide the necessary help, they say that I'm hurting his pride. Am I doing things wrongly? Tell me, the guys in my life... Family, buddies, friends, colleagues.... What I should do? What you all want me to do?

Just got home from movie, "Dreamgirls"... A great movie, a musical to be exact.... All great except for the screaming of Jennifer Hudson most of the time. I like her unique voice and i was touched, tears dropped, but might be better if she toned down a bit here and there... Hated that Jamie guy who played "Chris", he's a total jerk! Congrates to him caused he ranked top 3 for the 'Worse-type-of-guys-chart'. Don't wish to say too much regarding this movie, caused it's worth watching at cinema. Actually I like musical type of movies/shows, so far, those I watched I like it, "My fair Lady", "The Sound of Music","Moulin Rouge", "Mary Poppins ", "Perhaps Love", "High School Musical" to this "Dreamgirls", I love them all. Perhaps it's because I cant sing and I really envy those who could? Or I simply love music? Haha... Glad that I didnt missed it, which I almost...

Had a quarrel with Dad again. *sigh.... He's simply too clever, too sensitive, too unreasonable, too much of a control-freak etc... ARH........