Been thinking...
E-papers
Still deciding whether to take the E-papers in next sememster. It's consider very cheap at $50 per module... But I'm worried that I'll not be able to cope... I'm already struggling this sememster... With the E=papers, I dont know I'll survive or not... Qi had been encouraging me, telling me to believe in myself. She suggested that I should quit my job and focus on my studies... "You still have to work for at least 40+ years in the future, why work so hard now?" But she dont understand... She dont understand that if I dont work now, I might not be able to finish my studies... Though my aunt voluntered lent me money for my fees but I hate this... I hate feeling indebt to people...

Pulau Tioman Trip
I feel so tempted to go for this trip... It had been years since I go for a tour overseas... And Pulau Tioman is so beautiful!!! But dad dont allow even though I suggested paying for the expenses for the trip... I can only dream of it now.... I've got a naughty thought... Thought of just packing up and set off... I'll face the music when I'm back... But I lack of the courage... Cant convince myself to do that...

Digital Camera
Love photography since I was small.... Love taking photos of people especially sceneries... Not those professional types, but those causual photos that will capture the feelings at that moment and it will all be memories... Hope that when I'm old, I can take out all the photos and refresh my memories... Stopped taking photos after my one-and-only camera was spoilt... And it was years ago... Wanted to get a digital camera now but it's so expensive!!! Been saving for one, but now that I save up enough, I cant really bear to use up the money....

Just watched AMI3. A great show... The show which kept me glued to the television despite having SQC exam tomorrow.... Hmmmm..... Love the great performance... Love the music... Admire their talent, voice, determination and courage... I'll never be like them.. I got a horrible voice... Anyway, wonder who will be voted out tomorrow... Looking forward for the results tomorrow... Love La Toya London and Amy Adams... It's a pity that Amy got voted off...

Ok, I better get going and study for my SQC exam tomorrow... Hope to get at least a A for that module.... Hope that tomorrow will be more cooling as the SQC paper will be held in the sports hall, a place meant for saunas... Ok, I better get back to the race and do a few more past year papers....

Loneliness...
Suddenly I feel so lonely... Wish for a shoulder to lean on... Someone to share my joys with, someone to share my burden... Someone who loves me, care for me.... Am I getting desperate??? Oh my.... Get a hold of yourself!!!!!!!!!

Relieved
I'm so happy and comforted that I got 3 buddies to fall back on when ever I need them... Though I dont talk to them regarding my problems... But they'll always know, always there to support me... I'm so so so fortunate. Love them so much... (getting mushy ar??? *grins) Really looking forward to the holidays.... Hmmm... thinking of getting a chalet where we can relax, have fun.... But due to financial problems... Have to postpone it... Haiz...

With all those projects, reports and assignments done... I felt so so relieved!!!! I'm glad that JF and WL are in my group for the QM and DOE project.... They are really good... Well, we are all perfectionists... We gave in our very best!! That's what I wanted... When I see the work all done perfectly (in my opinion...), I felt so satisfied.... The presentation was not that well done as I'm not prepared... But we make it up with our efforts... Our QM was 150 pages... The thickest and best project that I had ever done... Was so happy when Mr Tan commented that it's very well done, very professional and it's industry standard. He assured us that we will definitely pass this module with flying colours... Felt that I was on cloud nine at that moment... All our efforts had not gone to waste. YM as usual didnt contribute much. Perhaps it's her attitude, therefore we rather do it ourselves... But when I see her so free, so relax 'supervising' us, felt rather jealous... Humans(especially females).... Difficult to understand...

Now I can concentrate on preparing for the upcoming exams.... Ya, 2 more good news, I score full marks for my jap written test scored for RPS quiz and passed my IFP test... Couldnt believe my eyes when I check my grades on MEL... But think I'll fail my DE lab test 2, got the wrong true table hence the rest of the question I got it wrong..

Feeling so much better now.... Though I'm extreme tired.... Been staring at the computer since I came back from work... Feel that my eyes are popping oout now... But anyway, feeling so much much much better now.... At least some things done...

Let me see what I had finished since friday night:

1) SQC lab 7 report
2) DE E-quiz 4 and 5
3) FMEA Project
4) FMEA assignment
5) DOE project (80% done)
6) QM
- Amendments on the 8 individual clauses
- Organisation chart
- Work scope of key personnel
- Document request form
- Master list of quality records
- Trained auditors list
- IQA checklist
- Internal audit finding record

Seems a lot??? That's only 30% done for the QM... There still a lot to do... Wonder how can I finish... But 1 good consolation is that for the QM, 2 of my group members are more responsible than YM and will contribute.. Otherwise, I dont know how I'll survive.... But, but, there's still a lot to be done.... Ok, time to get some rest! Hope I can wake up by 8am and perhaps finish up the the DOE report and tackle my tutorials before heading down to work....

Break down
Was doing my QM when i suddenly break down... All stressed up now... After all that had happened at home and school.... I'm SO tired, both mentally, emotionally and physically.... Feeling real low now... Feel weak... No strength.... Overcome by my emotions.... Started to cry but I stopped myself... Worried that mum will hear as she's a light sleeper.... Anyway, crying wont help.... Waste of tears and time and will even make me feel worse... It's so easy to say, "Find someone to talk to and you'll feel better". But HOW?? Where to begin? What to say??? I got no idea... Others have their own problems too... LEARN TO STAND UP!!!! IT'S HOW PEOPLE BECOME STRONGER....

"Fate brings you together, but it's still up to you to make it happen."
I believe that soulmates do exist, that there is truly someone made for you. But it's still up to you to make the choice if you're going to do something about it or not. We may meet our soulmates by chance, but loving and staying with our soulmate is still a choice we have to make. We came to the world not by finding someone perfect to love, BUT to learn how to love an imperfect person perfectly.

Busy Week
Having a total of 8 quiz / tests in this week... Oh my... Had my japanese test this monday and had my SQC and IFP tests today. Japanese test was alright though I missed out some of the points. Hope my efforts will pay off. But as for IFP, think overall, i'll just manage to pass... Totally blank out!!! Haizz... Studied till morning for my SQC and IFP and to think I blank out at this moment! Perhaps I'm too stressed out??? But looking at the way they study.... I can't help it... Anyway, I better go and prepare for my DE CCT tomorrow... Dont want to flunk that too... Not that worried for my QD... But as for DE practical lab test and DOE... Hope I'll pass... Heard that it was a killer for most of them last semester... Worry for my RPS quiz on this friday... That module is a KILLER... Hope I'll not be 'killed' by it.

Beginning to panic as the DOE formal report, FMEA assignment, QM, SQC lab report and all the tutorials all due next week!!! Think more sleepless nights this week... Hope I won become a panda. *grins But seriously, I dont know if I can still survive this... Regretted that I take up the IAP offer.. Struggling with the second and third year modules all cramped together... Perhaps I dont have the ability to cope with studying and working at the same time??? But since I've already gone this far, I DONT wish to look back... I'm not going to the first IAP student to repeat their modules!!! I CAN DO IT IF I WANT TO!!! Ok, back to the books!!!

Was reading what I had posted recently... Find that it is filled with unhappiness... I'm going to use the same phase that I told Jiahui to remind myself. "It's you, yourself who decide whether you want to be happy or not" Been overwhelmed with things that are happening recently, studies, plus not having enough sleep... Give me some time and I'll be able to stand up and recover! OK, now, back to work... I'll definitely reward myself after this semester!!! Perhaps meet up with friends, have fun and relax!!! Now better get going!!!!

Feeling real down... Feel like finding someone to talk to, but I really dont know how... I dont know where to start... What to say... I know I will not be able to control my tears... Hate that... Hate losing control....

FAIRNESS
I was extremely mad... Caterine gave XQ my report to copy!!! HOW COULD SHE??? She had absolutely NO right to do that!!!! It was supposed to be a so-call pair work and it's fine that she didnt do anything at all, but to let others copy??? HEY, I was still doing that report at 3am in the morning while she sleeping soundly! One may say that I'm selfish, but it's my hard work! How could XQ just copy just like that??? I dont mind teaching her, but letting her copy is another story. Ok, fine, she got my report and I've send her my table and helped her draw the charts but when she couldnt finish it in time, YT asked for my file so that she can cut and paste!!! Isnt that too much???? It's not the first time!!! The more I think about it, the angrier I become, hence, I took the report back and left quickily before YT and XQ could ask for my files again. I know that I'll give them my files if they ask me again as I dont know how to reject them... After all, we were close in year 1...

Today...
Been staring at my laptop since 6am... Been staring at my laptop for about 12 hours... Feel like my eyes are going to pop out. Terrible headache now. But at least I manage to get some of my things done. Helped JF to improve on his SAB project and his RW report, finished 2 tutorials, finished copying the lecture notes but I'm still half way through my SQC lab report and QM. And not to forget my SQC quiz tomorrow... Not prepared for it yet. There are still so much to be done... Let me see what else to be done...

1) SQC lab report ~ due tomorrow
2) QM project (clause 8) ~ due tomorrow
3) RPS tutorials (3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9) ~ due week 15
4) SQC tutorial 5 ~ due wed
5) DOE tutorial 5 ~ due thur
6) DE E-quiz 4, 5
7) DE assignment 8,9 ~ due tue
8) SQC past-yr papers ~ due wed
9) DOE past-yr papers ~ due mon
10) FMEA assignment ~ due fri
11) DOE project report
12) DE tutorials (3, 4, 5)
13) FMEA project

Oh my, seems that it been a long time since I've touch RPS tutorials... Hate that module... Taught by that horse... Just managed to pass that module... Haiz... Must buck up!!! I dont wish to repeat that module!!!! Shouldnt sleep so early yesterday... Waste of time... I'm just too tired, slept on the sofa while watching American Idol... Think I slept while watching Jon Peter Lewis... Haha... Either I'm really too tired or his voice dont attract me... Ok, time to get a bath, have a great dinner and back to work....