Death

George Eliot once said:

"Here was a man who now for the first time found himself looking into the eyes of death--who was passing through one of those rare moments of experience when we feel the truth of a commonplace, which is as different from what we call knowing it, as the vision of waters upon the earth is different from the delirious vision of the water which cannot be had to cool the burning tongue. When the commonplace 'We must all die' transforms itself suddenly into the acute consciousness 'I must die--and soon,' then death grapples us, and his fingers are cruel; afterwards, he may come to fold us in his arms as our mother did, and our last moment of dim earthly discerning may be like the first."

As i read this what goes thru my mind is that
we can't decide who lives or die
only circumstances can change someone's fate
unless of course we think death is pointless
to be honest it is not u know
life only has meaning specifically cause there is an end
death is wat forces people to live
which means only death, effectively ends life
throws of the entire cosmic balance the whole point for wat
a single freaking life?

Grief is part of living
Approval isn't much
Acceptance that is a must for us to move on in lfe.

Regards,
Kai ergo

what if..

have u ever stood motionlessly n tot to urself what if....

what if....:-i woke up one day n i am all alone

-u were still with me now

-i have choosen to go to JC

-i never came back that time i ran away

-i die

these small little stuff

i am sure u come across it

but we live to be choosers not beggers

watever choices we have made this is the result

n we should be proud tat we r strong enough to live with it now

Regards,

Kai ergo

Seconds after another...

Everytime i close my eyes u r all i see
But once it opens to reality i know that u r gone forever
How can this heart heal
Again it has been broken after only someone have pace back those broken pieces
Sometimes i wonder what friends really are for
There are two who insisted me to break up with him and promise to be by my side thereafter
But fuck where are they now
Abandone me for i have changed into a boy
Wtf is this so u abandone me for i am no longer part of ur norm
Where is ur compassion i am jus another human being trying to find the right path
How can u say "u r at definately at the wrg way"
Wth ever told u r at the right one
If yes, then y u go clubbing, drink n get urself drunk
Isn't that forbidden from what is the norm of ur so called right path

Yes ever second after another i have regreted the moment where i said to u " I can't find any love in my heart for u"
But in truth my heart crave to love u more n more n more
How evil can a friend be more than what they have poison me with about u
I still love u Shaun deep down inside
I wanted to find a deeper meaning and find what have been bugging me
And yes u love is what i missed
I am deeply sorry of how things ended up
I should have given u time to get back on ur feet
I should never have taken u forgranted
I should have been more faithful to u

For u i will always love
I dun wanna wake up each morning thinking life is meaningless
Now i can slowly move on
I take my own advise
Learn from the past, slowly take the baby steps now, and slowly but surely a bright future awaits me.
I found someone have helped me carry this burden
I thank god for that
I really wanna go back to my old roots
For those are the times i find myself to be truely happy

I am slowly smiling now
I feel like i can finally n with my own courage walk away from ppl i no longer need anymore for they have help me enough, so ya thank u a lot
Use ur gifts to help ppl that needs u more now than i do

With love,
Kai Ergo

Rain goes on...

god say keep on hoping
for because god said it to me shall i believe
a chapther on the bible said god hardern the pharoah heart for being against god
i think that is what god have done for me
for i have once taken his love n guidance as a torture in life

it is jus so hard to cry
esp this week how i wish i could roll tears down out of my eyes
i think so far this year this week have been the worst and ultimate challenge
human beings testing my patience to the extreme
there are frdship who take ur care and love forgranted
then there is the father who question ur love for him when he nvr a day in his life bother to raise u
then u have a job u no longer have the passion to go on anymore
n religion u still trying to understand n think thru "is this reali what i wan, reali who i wan to praise n pray to?"
then u think thru all these how u wish when god created mankind have he omitted u
i surrender myself to the lord for he have all the answers to my life problems
thru his words shall i find the strength to fight
and thru his words shall i find the love i need to fill this heart that have been hardern

i feel always that all the frds i have r not truely frds
only a few very few
there r those who feel are we r really close for we share similarities
but i always feel special different from others
i feel sometimes the only frd i have is myself
there are things u know u frds listen to some they dun
y bother talking rit
then ppl judge u by labelling u as anti-social
hey i am jus human y should i speak if nothing is in my mind
y should i speak if i have my own demons in my mind to fight off
god i seek ur mercy to get me thru this

amen,
kai ergo :(

Death of a legend

This mrg while on my journey to the jetty going to pulau ubin,
saw the terrible news of micheal jackson passing on
ya i guess he overwork
i really enjoy his music
i remember dancing to black n white with my brother haha!!
the title speaks for itself
i think micheal changed a lot of ppls lives
he is jus an idol
to see how much he could endure all the drama in his life is jus a grt thing to reflect on our own life
we sometimes complain abt little this ppl accuse us of
look at micheal he was shamed on national tv i think that is something we want to bitch about if we were like him
all i say in the end is thanks micheal for everything u have done i am proud that i lived to see u as one of the greats..

love,
ergo

happy happy

today was a good day..
spent almost the whole day with my besties julie n aishah
had a few crazy camwhoring session at one fullerton
realli crazi haha
wish u guys upload the pics soon

today talk a lot about friendship
ya was asking both when u have too many frds sometimes it is so hard to choose who to go out with
but i appreciate it a lot tat my true frds r constant
namely azrin aishah hashimah julyanna faizal and hawa
thanks guys

i think today what i learn is
it is not the amount or number of frds u have
it is the quality of friends u have

yup thank is a chicken wrap
tata yng ppl

love
ergo

happy happy