White

It was quite an upsetting week to go, with the sudden news of our founding father passed on. I admit that I never know how great he was or what it really happened to make what Singapore it is now. Even during the National Day, I did not even fully understand the joy of celebrating this meaningful day. 

But sadly, it was only after he passed on, and all the television has been playing his documentary, that was when I fully understand what had happened more than 50 years back and what he had exactly done to make what it is now. It was really a lesson and knowledge gain, unfortunately, in such a way. I couldn't help but to tears when I watched the documentary. He is really a great man. 

I am never a person who will queue hours for something, but he makes me feel that queuing for hours seems worthwhile. Comparing to what he had done for us to have such a good environment to live in, I believe queuing for merely few hours to pay respects to him is really nothing, nothing compared to all those. Tomorrow is Sunday, national mourning day. It's gonna be a day where thousands will be wiping their tears and bid goodbye to him. I really can't imagine how upsetting the situation will be. 

After the tiring day in the morning, managed to go home and have a good nap before meeting C for dinner. It was really nice to receive the lozenges, especially after I asked for sweet cause my throat was feeling really uncomfortable. What funniest was when he kept his promises and sang in the  public. But no doubt that he really sings pretty nice, kind of impressed now though. 

Dream came true

It's really good to know that some of my friends are still reading my blog at times. And it's also because of this, this J suddenly came and text me to concern about my health, assuming that I am facing some health issues. 

I'm really feeling lucky because I finally got into the industry that I've been long wanting to get in. And yes, I'm leaving this very-hard-to-engage-youths job in around one month time. I did not tell anyone when I went for interview for my new company, not even my parents. Lesson was learnt when I went to cdac for interview and I was being offered, but I rejected. Parents was kind of questioning me why did I rejected. So, I learnt to keep things to myself. From going to interview, to being offered and letting my boss know about it, it was only when everything was settled, then I decided to share with them. 

I guess my passion and interests in wanting to get into social service started when I was with X. Though I did not volunteer in care events, but I remember I dragged him once to volunteer in one of the elderly centre. I tried sending resumes to social service but was rejected. I went once to my new company for interview before I even worked in my current one, but was being rejected. That is why I kept saying that I am really lucky because I was being shortlisted for interview again, and finally, being offered as volunteer executive there. I swear I was god damn happy when they called me after my interview, and it makes me can't wait to leave this company! 

Just one more month. At least I get to see TSS get up the stage to receive their award on my last day of work. I've been trying my best to memorize the speech for the video filming on Monday. I hope I won't be that emotional when I work in the new company, and that is what my friends are worried about. Psss, can't wait can't wait! :)

Opportunity

It wasn't a tough choice to make, in fact it was easy and lucky I could say. All I could say is I have to be honest during my appraisal review that if opportunities come, I will take and I will leave. Like I said, I was lucky, real lucky enough to be facing these now. Opportunities have come knocking to me twice. 

I'm glad I took the courage to take this opportunity. I know it is time to let my youths know, perhaps not those that I ain't comfortable working with, but those who have been appreciating me all my hard work. No doubt that Douglas came into my mind first when I thought that I should at least share with the youth. It was hard because emotion connects during the tough period last year when we were preparing for the presentation for their awards. 

They are a bunch of youth who are so young yet received Young Achiever Award last year. It was really touching when I saw both D and Y went up stage to receive their awards. This year, I prepared them for their presentation during the judging sessions and that was when we got to know each other more. I still vividly remember when judges were stucked between 6 nominees for the excel awards and I had to go in to speak up for them. I was so damn nervous, not because I have stage fright but because I don't really understand them well to be even fighting for them. I tried my best as their advisor to speak up for them and I am really glad to say that, next month I'll be seeing them again during the awards night. 

Broke the news to D earlier on and it was really upset to be sharing such information with him. But at least, I will be ending this on a teary night where I will be so proud of them. I'm glad that I've met them and been showing appreciation to me. 

Gonna go for another new round of medical check up again! 

At some point of time, I still wish that I can at least talk to someone; to share my thoughts and problems. 

But it's just so hard to find that someone who I can really let go of and be myself.