Goodbye 2012.

It's raining cats and dogs now, raining so heavily on the last day of the year. Perhaps, it's a good sign? But here I am working on the last day of the year, and unable to have a good rest at home. Sitting at the recep area, facing the front door and looking at the heavy rain pouring down. How I wish I am home sleeping now, covering with my nice pink blanket, and hugging to my bolster.

Thaijin left me alone on last fri on communicator, leaving me all alone here with no one to talk to anymore, and Shirlene left me today. I wonder how am I suppose to survive alone at the recep without these two fav girls of mine chatting with me at communicator. Well, still gotta wish them all the best in their studies at sim and hope they will meet their mr. study right.

Can you imagine the customer service centre is open whereby everyone is having their half day off in this building? Totally feel like a fool to be sitting in the office where there is no one at all, like I'm here enjoying the raindrop. Alright, shall not complain, I shall enjoy the moment. Working here has been quite an enjoyable thing till now, at least all the colleagues are pretty nice and fun to hang out with. I can't deny that I love this job despite how much I always complain about the tiredness I had in me. If not, I won't be here having my sweet time blogging this post right now.

And I also can't deny that how badly I wish 2012 to quickly come to an end, and wanna start afresh on a brand new year. This year is really a year full of unhappiness and there are too many unlucky stuffs happening. I started this year with a happy tone, with everything was so beautiful and happy, and slowly, things got worse, everything started getting ruined, and I never feel happy ever since then.

The last semester in poly wasn't seem too good because of all the betrayal among groupmates, not referring to mine but to someone who used to be important to me. There were so much conflicts because of projects, where they betrayed like a bitch and behave like a bitch. This is the time where you really see someone true colors. There were too much hatred between each other in the course yet they are hypocrites to act like nothing happened and act like everything was fine, after stabbing someone hard. But I gonna admit that I'm like one hypocrite at times, just to survive in this cruel realistic world, but rest assured that I definitely not as bitch like those bims there. Can't believe that I actually felt so pissed when I recalled what exactly happened few months back, and I'm so gonna pray hard that I won't get to see their face ever again. So back to the relationship with him, everything was alright, and both of us loved each other badly for the first few months of the year, till quarrels, trust issues, respect and responsibility torn us apart. No trusts between us at all, or in fact, no trust was given to him at all. Quarrels are inevitable, but too much quarrels just made it worse. I'm a person who will want to settle an argument in order to make this relationship better in the future yet he's a man who doesn't like to harp on the argument. So perhaps, this made us felt that this relationship just can't last at all, with so much differences in us.

However, one of the happy thing or decision made this year were probably the responsibility in taking care of the hamsters, my ah pui and ah bai, my two and only favourite hamsters I'd would ever had. Sitting down here to recall back about the past, I can remember how much fun we had when we went to slowly choose the 'right' hamsters, the hamsters that we 'love at first sight'. We started forking out our own saving to buy the necessity for our babies, from the best bedding to the best sand bathe, then to the upgrading of their cage. But the sad thing is that I can't witness their growing up journey at all. We even had small argument whether to let who take care of the hamsters but he got the custody.

Then slowly, more and more arguments surfaced and it led to him wanting the break up so badly. There were times and again when I tried my best to win him back, giving myself a time period to prove him that things will turn well, but somehow, I gave up, I really chose to give up cause I felt so tired for fighting something that doesn't even belong to me anymore. I just don't find any point of wanting him back when his heart doesn't even belong to me anymore. True indeed that everything hurts, especially his words hurt the most. I cried for the thousands of times and I felt so lost most of the time. Everything happened when I was working at ntuc income, where I totally no longer have any motivation to move on, and work hard in the job. The job totally seems so idiot to me, sitting at the counter doing literally nothing. This doesn't make me move on, this made me think even more during work. I decided to quit after a month, knowing that this can't go on. I'd rather make use of the opportunity to find a better job out there which will make use of my talent more, haha.

After the broke up with him, friends know I was very upset and depressed. They brought me out to have gathering to make me don't think so much. This was the time when I got to know wm, through a friend's gathering. Things started well, till it slowly turns awkward in the end. There's no chance that I will accept a new rls that soon, neither do I want someone to have the hope in me that it might turn out well. I rejected him cruelly, then slowly we didn't really communicate anymore. Then, school starts, went into a brand new campus with no one I know. I was all alone all the times. But I was glad that I met nice bunch of girls for project groups and everything seems alright. It ain't easy to cope between work and studies. I couldn't stop falling asleep whenever I was in sustainable tourism class and this resulted me in failing the modules, as in high possibility of failing for sure. I struggled like mad during the revision period for the end year exam but sad to say, I think I'm gonna flunk the marketing mods too.

Then I got to know this boy through benjamin, and we became good friend after that. Yes, don. It was random yet memorable that how we became good friend after a meet up at kim gary. We started really talking to each other after the second meet up to badminton, and somehow, we clicked well. There were so much nonsense in us and we can't stop laughing whenever we hang out. That was the time when he had conflict with his girlfriend, and even ended up to a short 'break up'. Mom was so afraid that I will be xiao san but I assured her that I will never be. In fact, I'm he shi lao for both of them and making them patched back together! We went out in fact 6 days a week before he enlisted and I'll never forget how sweet he is to accompany me to kaplan to make payment and carried those heavy books back home with me. He's just like someone who is so important in my life. I miss the time badly, don. I remember how happy I was to receive your call when you enlisted for the first two weeks but slowly, we seemed to drift away, aren't we?

During the midst of the trimester, met this random guy, J, where many of my friends asked who is he. But the fact that he was just a normal friend of mine who I hang out with a couple of time. Yes, I admit that I was pretty happy when I received the random and surprise bouquet of roses from him and the special card that made me recognized that it was him who surprised me. But nothing happened after that, and it really means that we are just a hi-bye friend now.

Now, working at nea was the most peaceful thing happened this year. I don't meet any new guys and many friends were asking me how's my life now, and my reply will definitely be, "good and peaceful". To be honest, this year really doesn't seem to be a happy year for me, there seems more tears than smiles in me. I wanna be happy like the past, I don't want to carry so much responsibility in me that I ain't suppose to carry at all. The adding on of my family problem definitely make it more upset and painful. There were so many times my heart aches like mad, so many times I really scream so badly and cry like mad. All I wish from 2013 is full of happiness, more smiles and less tears and unhappiness.

May the new year really brings more joys to me, happy new year to all.

I'll write the 2013 new year resolution later on when I'm free and have thought of it. I'm gonna end work already, ciao all.

Gonna be the end of the year soon and christmas just over three days ago. Surprisingly, this year is the year when I received many gifts, even if it's just a small chocolate from Thaijin. Hahah, alright that sweety did gave me christmas present, a hello kitty hand made friendship band and a hand written message on a card she bought, instead of draw. Hahaha, but I still love her many many. 

Worked on christmas eve but for half day only since I'll be working full shift on new year eve. Received gifts from colleagues on that day and was so happy. Also took this chance to take pictures with my nice colleagues.

And this picture really looks like we are working at custom, especially with our jackets on.

After work, rushed home to prepare and went to meet Jl and his friends for countdown celebration. Had steamboat at liang seah and we headed to the rooftop at shaw tower to chill and exchange presents. I picked Qiurong and received the double wheel exercise. I think it's really not a bad gift, at least it reminds me to work out more!

Totally love this pic and Liting is really one of the nice colleagues I've met and she's really pretty! :) Despite her 'scoldings' at times, I still love talking and laughing with her! 

And I spent my actual christmas night with Jueying at prata shop since I haven't had my dinner. Thanks god she's free to meet me, if not I'll probably be eating maggie mee on a christmas night. 

Had an impromptu meet up with Shirlene after work on Wed. Had dinner at paris baguette at wisma and it tastes not bad, especially the royal pudding. 

Received hello kitty gift from her and Philson, felt so happy! :) 

And mom was damn funny to send me the video of me dancing that she created using her apps. She said cause she knows I don't know how to dance and she might not have the opportunity to see me dance since I don't dance, so she sent me. And I had a hard time laughing with Shirlene, cause my mom put her face too! 

Alright, settled so much stuffs today, tired like mad. 

And yeah, going to dye my hair soon on Jan with Jueying! 

Totally more and more lazy to blog nowadays, feeling so tired every single day. 

Shall blog about the weekend. Thanks Philson for willing to help out and accompanied me to bring my grandparents out for lunch on Sun. Thanks lots, good bro you are.

Brought them to soup restaurant and glad they said it tastes not bad. :)

Went home after that and went to Amara hotel for their international buffet at night as a pre celebration for my bro's birthday. End up the buffet tastes like shit and dad, mom and bro down there kept made me upset and said that we should just eat seoul garden. Sad like mad.

Made home cooked lunch during my off day and it tasted nice! :D

Received choco biscuit from Wendy! :)

Alright, I lazy to blog, bye.

Been busy for the past week. Was sent for course at buona vista by company and think that it was freaking useful for me! :) Glad that I was sent for course with Zhaohan, at least someone to keep me occupied. 

Thanks him for accompanying me to star vista and get a top during lunch break! 

Stayed overnight at grandparents' house 'coz the course venue was just opposite their house. Grandpa went to ghim moh to get the bolster and grandma went market to get the blanket, just because I'm staying overnight for a night. Felt totally guilty and touched and definitely felt being loved, like a small princess! :)

Jueying came over to buona vista art friends to get her stuffs for christmas gift, so met her over there with my cousin.

Had nea christmas party at toa payoh safra, comes along with the team bowling competition. Totally embarrassed like mad 'coz I was last and my ball just kept rolling to the side, this sucks. But glad that our team got 2nd position and received $25 voucher each.

And the best part of the night was the yogurt log cake, totally love it, nomnomnom. :)

Met up Shirlene and Lihui on Friday for dinner!

And chill and camwhore over at wisma starbucks till I met Philson and Wangxu for supper.

And I just had my breakfast, lunch, dinner and supper with Jueying over at 474, followed by some grocery shopping at ntuc. The journey back was damn miserable when I gotta carried so many stuffs but glad I made it. :)

Alright, going to sleep soon and totally thanks alot to Philson for willing to help me and joined me and my grandparents for lunch, really thanks! :)

With three hours of sleep only, I totally feel like dying now. I'm so deprived of sleep yet I keep wanting to watch drama and don't wanna waste the night away. Woke up at 6.30am and was late for work, rushed like mad and really late for work. Work was kinda fun and relax today, 'coz there's no supervisor! That's when we can become havoc and blast our music, and when customer came in, we act like some professional customer service consultant. Totally amazed by myself for being so good at acting and changing.

Ordered mac breakfast in the midst of the work. Kept asking them to listen to shinee songs and Fongtai kept humming some song and it took me awhile that he was actually trying to hum lucifer. Totally burst out laughing when I guessed it right. It's totally a waste for unable to catch the shinee's concert but it's alright, I'll still love Jonghyun, my handsome baby.

Accompanied Jiale and Fongtai to far east shopping centre to see their ps3 and we walked from newton to somerset, totally tired like mad. Fongtai and I were totally restless that we just sat at the staircases at orchard central. Went home after shopping at scape and took 518 back. It took me bloody 1.5 hour to reach tampines and I was perspiring like mad. 

\

Reached home and saw Jaslyn's twitter and we decided to meet up at bugis for some shopping. Bought two tops and a bracelet, like finally. Rushed back to have supper with Jueying and Jasmine at 474. I'm so glad that my saturday isn't wasted! :)

can't wait!

I can't wait for the last paper tomorrow and I'll have my well deserved holiday for a month, before the new trimester starts again. Done with the enrollment for next trimester and gonna take marketing law and organizational development, gonna be a dry module again. Don't even know I study for what, totally kinda lose interests already.

Celebrated Rachel's 21st at Tampines Lenas on Tues. Bought her skins food product as gift, hope she will like it. :) Had shrimp salad at Lenas 'cause was kinda sick, tastes not bad though! Went to slack at Sintec for awhile before head home.

Meet the 5As girls on Wed for dinner. Sorry all, supposed to meet at 201 but they gotta give in to me and meet at Tampines instead 'cause of my diarrhea. 

Saw the chocolate tiramisu at awfully chocolate and so tempting to get it but it's so freaking ex, don't even know if I should get it or not. :(

And thanks Jasmine for the special hello kitty pasta that she got from Australia and thanks Huishan for the food from Malacca! I'm like happy girl to receive gift ytd! :)

And I'm kinda screwed. Having exam tmr yet nothing goes into my head, really nothing. K, lucks to me.

upset saturday

Finally done with two exams today, feel a little bit more relieved now but still feel the tiredness and stress whenever I think of tourism. I just feel really tired now. It's like no matter how much I've studied, it's never enough. Don't even know why do I study so much, and making myself so damn miserable.

Been studying with Rachel for the past four days at tmart mac from afternoon all the way till midnight. Struggled, yawned, stoned throughout the study week. Shopped around shop'n'save during our dinner break and saw this hello kitty iphone sweet, kinda amazing. And it made me recalled how Jaslyn fooled me that hello kitty gonna extinct soon, like real.

Nice and annoying Philson bought me durian puffs as well as my fav dessert as a rewards for my hard work on Thurs and passed it to me at tmart. :) That stupid friend of me was so noob that he thought he lost his wallet but it was dropped on his friend's car. But still, I felt damn appreciated and happy to receive 'cause food can always make me happy.

Finished my exam today and went to meet the awesomest. Wasn't suppose to meet them 'cause they were supposed to meet earlier to celebrate zhiyu's birthday but I joined them after my exam and tada, I spent a bomb on his lunch, with me eating only a piece of cake and iced tea and the amount I paid was wow! Heart just felt kinda pain and don't even know if it's appreciated.

Went over to fep to have a quick nail painting before heading down to weiting's birthday at Yishun condo. Took cab down with Jaslyn, Sab and Chuanhui. Spent money on non necessity stuff again.

Once again, happy birthday weiting. :)

Alright, seems like it's time to chiong tourism. Can't wait to have a rest soon.