未拆的禮物

 

Thanks Adeline sweety for coming all the way to my workplace to give me fruits and vitagen! ;) Love you much, babe! You did brighten up my day.

I've been crying like mad tonight, after knowing so much truth and it's hurtful, it's really hurtful. Thanks mom, I don't know how you can see that I've broke up but thanks, really thanks for being there to console me and tell me so much so much. I know you must be feeling upset seeing me and brother to be in such state but trust me, I'll be strong and stand up soon again. I know it aches you a lot of see me crying like mad and probably it's the first time you seeing me cry for a guy. I'm sorry, mom and I love you.



Bridging will starts tomorrow, and I will study hard mom. Don't be worry, I'll not let myself fall.

Suddenly miss all my poly friends, maybe it's cause I didn't see them for quite a long time already. This irritating friend like disappear already, forever not free to meet. Sigh, should scold her soon.

 Looking through old photos just now and saw those photos that we took on our last week of SSM. It made me recalled back everything. And it was during SSM when I met him and started everything. Ahh this feel sucks.

Remembering we went through Top Table which is the hardest of all 'cause of all the discipline, those heavy plates which made my hand aches, those rushing tests where you have to clear

 those plates asap. Everything was a memories.

Waking up at 5am on every wed was a torture and the feeling got worse when you failed your grooming every time.

But, I did it and I went through those hardship! ;)

And remembering I cried when Chuanhui left for her SIP to Mauritius. But was so happy when she came back! ;)

A unique experience when we helped those guys dye their hair and they helped us dye ours.

And my poly life obviously get funnier with this irritating annoying friend of mine which caused misery and nightmare to me when we were at year 2, especially at the sentosa campus. I went home complaining to my mom that this annoying friend of mine said, "why you use your big thigh to eat!". Now, my mom knows this guy whenever I said, "oh that guy that said my thigh one loh" and my mom will knows who is it! One sentence of his made all my close friends knew this and started spreading. Thanks Jus, thanks huh!

Till year 3, he's still as fat as last time, although did slim down a little bit but we never failed to call each other fat. And I just don't know why everytime I see him, I'll be eating. It's just either I'm standing up eating, sitting down eating, eating in class, or eating in lecture hall. He will bound to see it and caught me. Just, he came to ask me whether what happened to me and I told him all. Thanks for concerning and comforting me with your nonsense. It's nice to have such a pang friend like you, as pang as me. Please meet up soon, pangzi.

Unwell

And I'm finally forced to face the truth... No matter what I say, I'm not over you. This harsh feeling and reality that I'm forced to face, to face the god damn truth. Life's been ups and down, but seems to be going down down down now.

Woke up feeling so tired and had the urge of getting mc but managed to force myself outta the bed and head to work. Reached work and manager asked me for my number 'cause I always reach on time. But sad to say, I break the news to her that I'm leaving soon. Had fire drill practice for the whole building of ntuc income so we gotta head off to SMU square to assembly. Wasn't in the mood for the entire day, and lunch time was the worse. I thought lunch will finally be the best time of all day but no, it was the worse. It was only till I saw all those photos on his fb, I totally stopped my lunch and had no more appetite to continue. My heart ached like mad. The inferior in me in really beyond description. It isn't I don't wanna be confident but you proved to me that I can't.

From that on, I started feeling uncomfortable and unwell. I was so restless during work and damn, I got scolded like mad by a customer. I admit I don't give an excellence service to him but it's cause I ain't sure with insurances, so I fought back. I swear it was the first time I was so rude to a customer, and I know I shouldn't get affected but yeah, everything was screwed. I should really start to change my attitude and temper, sigh.

Bridging starts on sat and can't imagine the tiredness in me by then.
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell. I know right now, you can't tell.

Day out with da girls ☺

Shopping and met up with the girls. Had so much laughter tonight and thanks all, now I know that so many people dislike me in secondary school. Hahaha, and I couldn't believe I quarreled with Jasmine over stupid matter.

 

It sums up the entire day. ☺

Love ya girls! ;)

I'm so sorry Jasmine that I couldn't send you off on 14 Jul 'cause I'll be having my main exam for business law but I'll definitely celebrate dinner with ya on next thurs! I'm happy to have you as a friend since primary school, and we went to  the same sec school and in the same class. Most shocking is to the same course in poly. These ten years with you were cool and surprising, especially with the quarrels over a ball... But this time, you gotta go to Australia alone for study. Although we are going to pursue the same course but hope to meet you again in the same industry. Perhaps, we can be partners in our companies? :) Love ya girl, do take care of yourself in Australia and we will wait for you to come back during your holiday! ☺

les souvenirs

 It's been the third week of my work at ntuc income and things seemed worse. Not in terms of the people there but the job. I was so bored that I drew five pages of this.

I'd want a job that will make me busy and be  happy working, definitely not this. Everything isn't good.

There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go. 

Happy 20th birthday, Yihui.

I'm sorry that this year seemed to be a screwed birthday for ya but hope you are slightly happy with it. Wish ya all the best in your studies and get a girlfriend soon!

And hope Daryl did surprised you.

I'm fucking shag and lethargic after work. Although I'm only a part time but the hours stayed over at income is damn long. Every time during lunch break, I'll feel so damn lonely. Or perhaps, that's the time where I learn to be independent. Had every lunch alone and slowly, it doesn't matter to me if I have my lunch alone outside. Or perhaps, the time he left me, I've been trying to be independent and have no one to rely on anymore. Buddha, I'm really feeling very very tired, be it mentally or physically. I've been really struggling every single day to be fine, to move on, to be more energetic and to be better.

I hate my life now, really hate it so much that I felt totally useless. Everything seems going down for me, or maybe should I said especially May and June. Now, it seems like Daryl and I are on bad terms and I seriously don't know what the fuck went wrong. I wish I was a little ignorance and not knowing anything than now, knowing every single day. And that hurts most. Ignorance is really a bliss. Not knowing what happen, Daryl didn't turn up for the outing 'cause he doesn't want to see me and I didn't know that I actually made him dislike me so damn much. Tbh, I've been affected by this for a long time, or in fact, the heartbreak came at the same time.

Guys, it's not I ain't want to move on. I want to, so damn badly, but it's hard. It's not I ain't trying, I tried but failed. It's not I'm used to having him, no, but I just ain't interested in other guys at all. Well, I guess no one know how I exactly feel right now. The feeling really sucks so much that I wish I am a cold-blooded that don't have any feeling, no pain, no sadness, nothing at all. So please, stop blaming me for every small mistakes. You guys should just seriously stopped. And I've yet to tell my mom about this heartbreaking news. I've been acting and acting as though we are still pretty fine. I'm tired already but I don't wish my mom to know. How long can I endure, how long more can I be strong?

Life, this is it.

First of all, thanks for those who are concern about me and asked me to cheer up despite knowing anything. Thanks y'all. Yes, I ain't in a good mood these few days, or in fact, a week or so already. Probably would I say that I'm currently at my darkest point of time in life right now, at this phase of adult journey. Pain comes and go, it keeps on torturing me and causing me so much pain. That's life, isn't it? Life isn't perfect and happy all the times. There are happy times and sorrow times. There are laughter as well as tears. It was never perfect for me.

Whatever it is, I'll stay strong and stand up after the fall.

獨家記憶

Take all the time you need to heal emotionally. Moving on doesn't take a day. It takes a lot of little steps to be able to break free of your broken self.

Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with teardrops.

Not, memories.

Blank, my mind is blank now.

It seems like time has stop for very long, it seems like my wound isn't healing at all. It seems like whatever that I had gone through two years back, repeat again. This feeling really screwed much, it's like what the fuck, I'm experiencing this screwed feeling all over again.

Working was still all right but slowly getting sick of it and the management over there. It was tiring, mentally tired to work there. I'd rather be physically tired and make this working worthwhile but no, not at all. Grandma called and complaint to me about her life over there and I decided to sign up scv for her to enjoy at home. I really miss those people that I love, how I wish I can hug everyone and keep everyone by my side but no, I can't at all. They left me, one by one.

Handburger & Kitty

It's my off day today! ;)

Went to have our dinner at Handburger since I bought the groupon. Thaijin recommended me to have the duck burger but it was added with mandarin orange sauce, and ended up, I can't have it. Had lamburger instead and it was so awful. :(

Quite disappointing though.

 

Suddenly I realised that my room is filled up with hello kitty. Look at my bed...

 Then my photos and radio area...

My cupboard...

My table...Clock...

And even, my towel!







Yeah, I'm so hello kitty! ;)

3 out of 4

 

I love my mom so much 'cause she bought for me the last collection of hello kitty ronald once it was out today! I missed the third birdie hello kitty and I swear I'm fucking sad 'cause I really wanted to have the full collection. The last time macdonald had the hello kitty soft toy collection was on year 2000. It was the wedding and culture series back then. Now, I just wanted to have full set also can't, sigh. But still, I'm so happy and appreciate my mom and Jiale for getting these for me! ;)

Just received my uniform for work today. Was still so bothered of what to wear to work and ended up, I got their sarcasm on my attire 'cause my skirt was too short. But now, I prefer their uniform 'cause it means I don't have to bother and stress of what to wear!

And, running man is daebak!!!

Bored at work

I'm seriously first time so bored at work and doing nothing but to blog right here. I was allocated to the front counter for the first few days but now, I'm being allocated back to the office, facing the wall and so bored. I wanna get busy so my time will pass faster and meaningful, and not here doing nothing and rotting my life away. I tried to surf net but seriously, have nothing to do at all! All right, I can't wait for my off day on Friday and woohoo then it comes the weekend!

I bought the handburger groupon and can't wait to go and have it with Jiale. Clever me bought $60 worth of food so I can basically eat anything that I want. Hehehe. All right, I think I better move my ass out of this desk and go to the front counter, if not I might just fall asleep anytime soon, and I mean it.

Whuttt?

It's Monday tomorrow again and it's gonna be a bad Monday blues, especially when you aren't familiar with all your colleagues over at ntuc income. I ain't enjoying over there, no mom I'm not. But I'm gonna try to endure as long as possible, like I'm having internship. Actually I'm thinking if I should get a tour guide license since I'm so in love with tourism industry.

Met up with Jiale and his friend last night and had a short drinking sessions and udder. And met up with the 5A's tonight for Aston's as to celebrate the boys to become men. Alright, so frustrated now.

Nights everyone!