FOR THE FIRST TIME, I REALLY DISLIKE WORKING AND IS BEYOND MY LIMITS.

Sometimes, I don't know what do I want in life and what I want to excel in. To work in the hospitality industry or just sit at the back office and do adminstrative stuffs? I love to help the guests with their enquires, I'll feel accomplished. But I really hate being get surrounded by those lame office politics. Because of own characters and attitude, you expect everything to think alike as you and to go according to your way. I really hate being stuck in the middle, or in fact, being treated as a newbie and every mistakes made, you will be the one that is being pointed at. Hello, life just sucks this way.

I'm trying not to be racist but you all made me feel it this way. I dislike the working environment, I dislike some of the people, I dislike the fact that I am having sip now and it's only one week plus pass. I hate practically every little things that happened because it makes me feel that life isn't great anymore, or should I say, it's meaningless now. I don't know what am I fighting for. Just leading a life of 9-6.30 work everyday, pathetic I should say. Like I said, smile is never ever true again.

Looking at the beautiful sunset on my way home from work. And, here goes the mixed feeling. Feeling relax yet missing someone badly.

For the first time, I hope there is someone who can drive me home whenever I'm off work. My leg hurt so much after standing for nine-and-the-freaking-half-hour at the front office as though my heel is swollen. I've learned to check in quite a couple of rooms and helped them to book walk in reservation. Though I ain't really happy working here, but I know I still have to endure this few weeks.

Smiling to people whereby it's never ever true. Why life has to be so difficult, just to survive well? Slowly, as time passes, I then realised that my smile is only true when ......

It's numb.

"I'm sorry I'm bad, I'm sorry you're blue, I'm sorry about all things I said to you And I know I can't take it back I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds, and baby the way you make my world go round And I just wanted to say I'm sorry This time I think I'm to blame it's harder to get through the days You get older and blame turns to shame"

It doesn't turn any better, because life still goes on.

Oh thanks god, it's my first off day of my internship.

I slept for 14 hours and I feel so relax now. Thing has finally settled and hope this decision won't be a wrong one. Received his call early in the morning and he finally made his decision. Ate the strawberry crea puff that mom friend bought for her at Bakerin. :)

Going to get a jean tmr for my work! ;)

I've finally pass one week in internship and left with 20 more weeks to go. It doesn't seem to be real fun but today was still alright. I was so reluctant to go work because I know I will be doing admission station and it will be real boring. But glad there are Pamela, Emma and Effendy to entertain me, esp Effendy. We talked about studies, his life, and he played game with me to kill the time. Saw Weileong too, 'coz he having chalet over there and he was actually quite friendly than I expected.

Time pass slightly faster than ytd, 'coz of ppl entertaining me. Tmr finally a resting day for me, already plan to camp at home for the whole freaking day. Hais, life sucks.
I hate the two of them.

The fourth day of internship finally ends. Amazingly, I stood 9.5 hours at the downtown east entrance and I've got over with it but, worst to come for tmr. I complained in my heart and to baby, but there's nothing much we can do. Basically, I was standing at the entrance, stamping the invisible ink on guest's hand and yes, that's all. I mis the telephone operator job so much.

I started work at 9am and they asked me for lunch at 11am. I got gastric around 6pm, and from hungry till not hungry already. Jaslyn called me while I was on my way home and chatted with me. There are too many things happening lately which tears me down. I never feel so restless and wanna go home straight away after work. Just feel like lying on the bed and rest for at least 24 hours. Alright, will be standing at the same place tmr again and they said tmr will be the busiest period because it's full occupancy means everyone checking in, means I gotta stamp like giddy.

Goodnight, burp with a smell of durian.

Second day of the tiring internship finally down.

It was pouring heavily early in the morning when I was about to wake up. This made me don't even feel like dragging myself down the bed because it was too comfy already. I was nearly late for work and luckily the punch in clock was slow by 5 mins!

Did telephone operator again and was being in charged by Jon. He guided me throughout and brought me to door-to-door to give information to the guest. I thought I ended at 5pm but they stopped me and said I end at 6.30pm. What a pathetic life I have. Reluctantly and stayed till 6.30pm. Got my schedule for the orientation. Will be doing six weeks of front office and six bloody weeks on housekeeping and engineering, just wait to get suffer and torture.

Managed to text with baby quite a few times today and was really happy. But when he called me just now, I am really worried for him because he's falling real sick yet he doesn't want to see a doctor! :( I don't know how to persuade him to visit the doctor, it's making me so frustrated now! Never feel so worried and heartache before, god damn it. Totally had no appetite and am eating a piece of mantou for dinner. Shall wait for baby call at ten then! ;) And will try all my way to persuade him to see doctor!

Today marks the first day of my devil internship.

I was so reluctant to wake up and I don't dare to snooze my alarm at all so forced myself to wake up and get ready. Too used to the life of checking my phone when I woke up, it was quite saddening because I'm not used to the fact that he had left here already. It becoming a habit of checking phone, and ended up getting upset.

Reached in time for the bloody internship at downtown. The orientation was walking around and explore the rooms, whereby I already went to chalet like countless of time. But I have yet to see the family suites and HI block rooms. And after going through the presentation, I want to go bintan resort villas because it looks damn cool. But I know pictures are deceiving. After lunch, was being posted to telephone operator and I will be alone throughout the two months till project starts. Then being pull out to front office and helped the guest to check in the rooms and it reminds me of being the guest like two weeks ago when Jiale was having his chalet.

Clock strikes five and they asked me to go home then I realised that my working time was nine-to-five office time so was kind of shiokkkk baby. Home and called to check on the rates of oversea calls and realised Jiale has to pay so much. Alright, I just ain't enjoying this sip. I can't imagine that I need to have meal alone, how pathetic it can be. :( I just hate being treated as cheap labours. Okay don't tell me 'coz to gain experience because I can just work as part timer and my pay can definitely be much higher.

I'm tired and I miss him so much. But no choice, to be independent now.

Okay I hate this feeling now. I'm currently at his house accompanying him for the last day before he fly off in the morning tmr. You can never believe that an blink of eye, it's the day that you need to fly off for your attachment. Time passes very fast when you are happy but what about when you aren't in the mood? I'm pretty sure that the time will be passing real slow for me for this couple of weeks.

Met him up for lunch and watched world invasion with him at plaza sing. Due to the rain, his plan was ruined and we made an impromptu decision to suntec for the food fair. It was crowded. Had dessert at marina square and had lot of laughters. Went to his house for dinner and helped him to pack his luggage. His mom is really a nice and funny woman. She showed me Jiale's photos and she was so happy whenever she described how cute he was when he was young. Around midnight, we went to mac drivethru and played swing and had a talk. The feeling was sucky but maybe I still couldn't accept the fact that he's gonna leave like in few hours time. I guess I will definitely tears when I see him walks in the check point. Ah, the thought of it really sucks max.

It's like we have been meeting almost everyday once we got together and now, just a blink of eye, I need to change and adapt to the life without him being around, be more independent and life will definitely had a huge change. There's nothing much I can do now but to hope that we will be able to maintain this relationship and find all sort of ways to contact with each other. I thought I was brave enough to pull through this but when the time is approaching and the fact of he leaving, the feeling is really beyond description.

Slept for around two hours and took our way to airport at around six plus. At the point of time, my heart kind of confused and sink. Seeing him get excited for his trip there and checking in, I don't know if I should feel happy for him or feel sad for myself. Had breakfast when him, his family and friends and sent him off at the departure hall.

I thought I was brave enough to control my tears from flowing. I thought I can just let it all out when I am alone or at home but never did I expect that my tears couldn't control when I saw him entering the checkpoint. Shirlene kept comforting me as well as his friends. His mom comforted me and off we go to Tampines with Siyu and Songjie. I thought I was brave for this, but I ain't. I'm really worried for him and missing him real lot. Come to think of it, six months aren't short, not at all. Just hope that he will be doing fine over there and I love him.

Received the pic from Jueying and here I upload it if not my blog will be so boring! ;)



And I successfully tied a knot using my tongue at Kbox! ;) Within two songs time, though I know it's kinda slow but it's definitely much faster than the time at timbre.

Met Jiale this afternoon and had dessert buffet with his parent at Let's Sweet! I didn't know those small sides can make me so freaking full. Then went to his house before heading to meet the girls. He showed me the video he made and it was freaking nice, ;) Ahhhhh, making me feeling more sad by the fact that he's leaving my side for six months.



Met the girls at Dhoby and had dinner at xinwang. We chatted, gossiped, shared problem and discussed bout rls. It's forever the most amazing topic to talk about, don't you think so? Talked about me and Jiale rls and they said the first few weeks will definitely be a tough period for me once he left.



Chuanhui will be leaving soon and gonna be real saddening too. Like one of my sister is leaving to Mauritius and I can't meet her to tell her my prob face to face but I will definitely update her about our lives through high technology like msn and skype! Thanks Jaslyn for the bagdes that she bought for us at penang! ;)

Can't believe that tmr will be the last dating before he fly off. Luckily my mom allows me to stay overnight at his house to pack his luggage and accompany him till he fly off. Alright, I can predict that my next post will be freaking sad. I ciao off to watch my cheena drama alr. :(

Happy twenty birthday to Huishan. Celebrated her birthday at Kbox and dinner at 85. Coincidentally bumped into Yiheng and Desmond over there so they joined us after that. Made an impromptu decision to go Ben's house to gamble.

Hahahah everyone is like promoting Hongwei because he has too many good points. But don't worry, I still love my boyfriend.

I love Ben's dog but it doesn't seem to like me at all. Anyway, two more days and I'll be independent already. Life's down down down down down. Look ahead to sip and get myself occupied to numb my feeling.

Meeting my baby tomorrow for lunch and the girls for dinner! ;)

I've broke my own record. I've proudly visited the gym with Rachel, Jiale and his two friends this afternoon! Though I only ran 2.3km for around 18 mins plus cool down, I felt real accomplished!

Had subway for lunch with them and Jiale accompanied me back home! ;)



Met Rachel for dinner again at Suntec while waiting for Denise to end work and we went shopping and home together! ;)

Celebrating Huishan's birthday tomorrow and I realised that I'll be going out every single day till my attachment starts. I'm so gonna be broke!

It's a day where we seemed as thought it's our time dating.
It's my first time taking neoprints with my boyfriend and it's first time a boyfriend get a bear for me from the arcade machine. And guess what! We went to take neoprints too!



Though the time we met was short but I cherish every single seconds, minutes and hours with him. The last time we meeting will be Saturday, :( Yay, will be staying over at his house.

Memories kept ♥

Went over to baby's house to sleep in the morning before meeting Joyce and Yihui. Had advanced birthday celebration for Joyce 21st. Rushed to meet 'em at Bugis and walked to Suntec. Settled our dinner at Pizza Hut and had a great laugh with them.



See, we look alike uh, no wonder everyone says when a couple gets together for long, they will somehow look alike.



After baby left, then we went to buy a cake for Joyce. Yihui chose the most creamy cake because our plan is to smash it on her face and we succeed after I took the cream and buuua it on her face.



Then we started act as a model and posing all sort of patterns.

Hope she enjoys herself tonight! ;)

It's always so great hanging out with them!

Five more days and I'm not gonna see him for six months. Now, he tells me that internet installation needs up to three weeks to do, means I might not be able to contact him for that long. Oh my freaking god, it's torturing me. I don't feel like going sip at all, not looking forward at all!

Drinking all my sorrows away, and here comes another summer.

Thanks Rachel for drinking with me, especially when I'm super down tonight. She's working tmr yet she was there drinking with me. I think I am addicted to drinking because I believe it makes me vent out all my sadness.


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Cheryang came over and find us and helped us bought one more barcardi. My head spin round and round, like I'm getting high anytime.



Sent me home and chatted with Jiale for hours. Gonna find him in three hours time and accompanying him home. ;)



I love drinking, I'm a drinker, never a smoker.

I dragged myself off the bed and got cheated to take cab to school for the stupid lame sip briefing. Wasted 1 hour plus of my youth on this briefing. Lunched with my boyfriend at Aston and returned his dvd at whitesand. Dinner at Bali Thai with mom and dad and the food was really worst than those cheap restaurant. Seem like got conned.

Meeting Jaslyn tomorrow and Jiale for dinner! ;) Miss him like freaking hell lots.

Eight more days left with him together and time is passing faster and faster.

Watched drama till 6am last night and couldn't wake up on time to meet Yihui this afternoon. Shopped around town and met Jiale there. Went to find my mom and off to shopping with him! Came up with alot of dinner choices but settled it for katong laksa. Joined Jiale's clique for ice cream at Udders.

Tell me how to wake up at 9am tomorrow whereby it's around 3.15am now. :(
SIP briefing is a torture.

I PAINT MY TOE NAIL FRENCH PEDICURE! :D WHITE AND PINK, THE PERFECT MATCH YO!

Slept all the way till 4pm and met Yihui and Rachel for dinner at tampines. Crapped lot and gonna bring Jiale for celebration for Joyce's birthday on Mon. Feeling guilty much 'cause I didn't go jogging but I have valid reason.



My cute boyfriend gonna fly off on the 20th, and that's freaking fast. Gonna try to stay over on sat. I'm sure the atmosphere gonna be real tense.



Watching new drama now and it's freaking nice! I'm so addicted to china drama. Meeting him tomorrow and he planned a game for both of us! Hahahaha, sound fun though.

I'm feeling so restless now, as standard. Wed is definitely not a good day at all because two of my most important person just got angry with me, for 'bout the same reason.



Just came back from Jiale's chalet and had some winning from blackjack and in between.
Okay, short and sweet.

Now, I know it isn't easy to organize a chalet.

Went to flea market at Clarke Quay with Shirlene and Kayan on Saturday! :) Before that, Jiale is sucha nice boyfriend 'cause he sacrificed and accompanied me to watch My ex haunted lover! How wonderful can it be? Hehehehehe! Met him at night to go ShengShiong to buy his food for bbq. We bought 3 kg of prawns and he went over to my house to peel the shells till 4am.

Both of us havin' a real hard time peeling those prawns and hope I will eat alot of the prawns tmr! ;) We applied the sambal chili as though it's free.

I'm glad that we will always talk things out and maintain this relationship like how it should be.

With no hiding from each other, with give and take, with care and worried, this relationship doesn't seem to be so fragile at all. I love him, not influenced by others.

Made an impromptu decision to meet Jaslyn for movie at Nex. Watched I am number four and it's freaking nice! (Y) Hehehehe, the excitement we got was amazing! Met Chengwei to get the nebo card for the chalet tmr and once I saw him, I couldn't stop laughing because his hair was like how I drew out! Exactly the same. He tied up his fringe and he actually freaking walked to the bus stop with that hairstyle to find me. Hahahahaha! Freak out man! Okay I think my drawing really look like him! ;)

Just finished doing the gift for Jiale and it's 3/4 done! I'm so excited to give it to him before he fly off! Staying over at his chalet tmr, goodnight!

After the unexpected drunk incident last night, I'm perfectly alright now, just feeling kind of tired and restless for the whole day. Went over to Jiale's house and bumped into Hewei at station so train all the way with him. I'm glad that Jiale has forgive me already, though I know he still felt extremely disappointed with me. Dinner at his house and his mom is really very funny. Two more weeks and he gonna ciao off already.

Side track abit, I've finally trimmed my hair and I feel better now! ;)
Flea market with Shirlene tmr at Home Club! Hope I will buy some stuffs but I'm kind of broke, see how tmr lah! ;)

It's definitely a high high high day yo~

Though mice sucks to the core, but I'm done and over with it. That's the first thing that I'm gonna be high over with. Next, shopping with the girls were great, especially when we sat down for a real real htht! ;) What's gonna be better than this, right?

Then, drinking with Chuanhui and the guys at boat quay. It marks the first time getting drunk over at there and it's really giddy, not even walking straight. My head went spinning round and round and round.

Thanks for them for taking care of me for the midnight. I know things went chaos, but it was just so hard to control. I was so frustrated that I tears, realising that everything wasn't really gotten over yet. How miserable can this night be? But definitely great with them around, drinking my heart off, with no worries. But the consequences was real big and I screwed things up big time.

Thanks Chuanhui for being by my side all the time and I repeat again, it's really all the time. Be it by my side listening to my complaints, be there to be my advisor, be my listener, be my sister, and taking care of me like how sister does. You never ever leave my side when I need you the most, and guess what, you're the great girlfriend cum sister! ;)

Afterall, it was a great night out drinking with them, though things turned up bad. And through this, I then finally realised that Jiale really cares lot for me and I really love him alot. So, hope thing will goes well because we left with 2 weeks and gonna cherish him. So baby, I'm really sorry about tonight and I promise that I'll control my liquor level. ;)

Thanks guys and most importantly, Chuanhui!

Thanks Karyaow for sitting next to me, telling me so much and giving advice for it! Thanks lot! ;)

It's end of my high high high day yo ~

Meeting Jiale tomorrow for dvd time at his house! ;) Ciao, gonna wake up early for the sake of him, I will! Hi, anyone wanna make a bet? Hehehehehe!

This boy is gettin' too much now but I still love him. Accounting paper is finally over and done with. Though there are many mistakes here and there, but what to do? It's over and handed up! Now, left with freaking god damn mice and I'll be free! Jogging was extremely tired just now. Studyin' with him tmr! :D

Once again, accounting bored me to death and I totally kind of give up study accounting today. Went over to Jiale's house for lunch and studied and had dinner with his family. Couldn't memorize those stupid accounting theories at all, it's killing me! Was feeling kind of unwell and he bought me the digestion pills. Bus home and the ride totally made me feel nausea. Guess I shall take train back in the future, or maybe, left with that few times.

Accounting tmr and I'm like stupidly studying mice because I'm really so sick so sick of accounting. Alright, shall study awhile more before I ciao off to bed! ;) Good luck all for exams, yo!