Sometimes you just can't explain the tireness in you. It just makes you feel so frustrated when something irritates you just a little. Maybe drinking a cup of iced milo makes you feel slightly better.

It's gonna be wed again, and it's gonna be a day I dislike again. Suck it up man!

Tuesday always seems to be like a raining day. Dinner with Rachel, Denise, Cheryang and Nigel at Nihon, as a treat for Rachel's birthday. I had telepathy with a guy I saw on bus. There was this guy looking not bad and I told Rachel. Both of us were actually looking at the same guy! The guy and I wore pink today, aren't we had telepathy? :) (Benjamin is like rolling his eyes now)

Time to sleep, it's gonna be a tough day tomorrow and before that, I must read my ssm notes. I will definitely struggle through this sem, I will, though my determination is low.

Don't, don't let me go.

Sometimes, the more I asked myself to stop thinking, the more I will think. I've already push you away but why are you back here again? I don't wish to be soft-hearted anymore. Sigh.

Supposed to visit Kianloon's mom in hospital but a sudden change of plan and we met at City hall for dinner. We went to Marc Jacob and Benjamin spent $450 for a handbag and laptop bag. Took 518 home and thanks Kianloon for helping me to catch the stupid cockroach on my blazer just now! If not I think I will go berserk! :)

Wed is here again soon, :(

BESE test tomorrow and I ain't prepared yet. Just woke up not long ago and had my lunch.



All these were the photos we took yesterday. Our washing car experience, chompchompz, slacking, all 3-in-1. :)



Whatever it is, I'm so so so so so sorry, Weilian. We seemed like have messed up your car. Slacked at rooftop while waiting for Zhiyu to come.



Camwhore with Chuanhui inside the car while others are like busy washing the car! :)



Chompchomp with the awesome without Jaslyn, Weiting and Karyaow. Order alot of food, stingray, kangkong, pork rib, sotong, chicken wings, satays and SUGARCANE! It's freaking big :) But I ordered the small one! :)



Slacked at the roadside, while we had our forlicks and camwhoring ;)



Chuanhui, that skinny bamboo stick! ;)

Thaijin is forever so crap, I love going out with her because she always never fail to make everyone of us to laugh.

And lastly, this is the wonderful cake decorared by me and chuanhui during Zhiyu's birthday! :)

How wonderful we are! ;)

I'm going out to meet my bud benjamin to study! (Y)

This is a beautiful photo taken and was changed to wallpaper on Weilian's phone! :)

Car washing was extremely fun but we are so sorry to Weilian for messing up your car. Chompchomp for dinner and we were spilt to find seat! Thaijin and I was like a noob in snatching seats! Hahaha. Forlick, slacking at the roadside and Weilian send me home! :)

I'm sorry Benny, for not turning up for your celebration. :)

Okay, I've been falling asleep many times while I typed this few sentences. Gosh, goodnight!

It's such a boring Saturday, sitting in the campus library, trying to force myself to revise bese but ended up, using facebook and blogging now.

I totally couldn't wake up this morning at all and it was thanks to Silas call that woke me up. Rush and went to school for the damn sip briefing. KFC with awesome clique and now back to school. Might be going for dinner at chompz chompz with them tonight! :)

Okay. I going to stone awhile before starting my revision. Jason and Weilian are so hardworking. They are like busy revising yet I am here, basically doing nothing. How successful can I be?

I've totally screwed ticketing up. How disappointing can it be despite what my mom had said?

Eshhhh, shit!

First time took Weilian's car and I think it was quite okay :)



Walked around IT fair since we got nothing to do and we waited for a parking lot for 40 minutes.

Back home and rest 'coz I was too tired already. Oh freak, like so many things happening lately that making me feel so fucked up. :(

SIP briefing tomorrow, means I need to wake up early.

Happy 18th Birthday to my bro, Zhiyu! :)

We only know each other since last sem, which means it was only few months back, and yet we become like close friend. It's amazing that we can actually click. Though this celebration isn't really successful but still hope you've enjoyed today, especially at Pizza hut! You must be surprised when the whole crowd of pizza hut staffs stood behind you and sang for you!

Met Silas and went to accounting lecture today. When I went in for about 10minutes, it was time for break. I went out to find Chuanhui and have breakfast and never go back for accounting already. Went for mice but it was like high speed train, totally catch nothing. Nutrition tutorial was totally bored! Decorated the cake from icing room with Chuanhui before meeting the rest for the celebration.

I enjoyed the time spend with them. It's fun, it's enjoyable, it's relaxing, it's true self, it's real friendship. Chatted with the girls during meal and talked about friendship. Both Jaslyn and I was so disappointed with our friendship. They just don't know how to cherish and appreciate. Taking everything for granted? You will get your lesson learnt.

Ticketing test at 11.30 tomorrow! Goodnight peepur.

It wasn't really a great day. It was more of lethargic and tiring day.

I was so nervous that I didn't have a good sleep. With only four hours of sleep, I prepared and went to report for top table. The only good news for the day is that I've finally passed my hair and grooming! I didn't sign anything today! (Y) For the first time...

Was given limited time to set up our station and do pre-service operation. It wasn't easy to be captain, though the responsibility isn't as much as headwaiter. I felt so lost. One asked me to help and I wanted to give a helping hand in serving but Mr Malik stopped me and don't allow me to help. What if they think I ain't a good cap? :( Kns leh top table. But I think bartender are more stress. I was so unlucky enough that lecturer came to eat and sat at my station. Approached them and screwed it all up! Whatever it is, it's over!

Thanks Chuanhui and Jaslyn bought me a fruit danish from sugarloaf and Jasmine for helping me to wash my hair! :) K, good luck to Silas for being headwaiter and Zhiyu for assistant! :) I guess I should look forward for next week's operation, where the whole top table is filled w guests.

Goodnight! :)

I will smile through it all, :)

I believe I will conquer it, with all my friends around, helping me out tmr. I know this sucks, I know this is never easy, but I will definitely get over with it successfully. This is gonna be a stressful sem, so be next sem, so be next next sem. I will smile through this period.

SSM tmr, the first operation, double stress than boot camp, nervous since days ago. Now, it's nearer, in less than 9 hours. Wish me luck!

I'll beat you down!

I've been updated about your life and I find it like a joke. You have totally screwed it up and let yourself suffer like you're in hell. I've thought thing through and not gonna be like you. Well, won't find you pathetic but rather think that you serve it all right!

Life has been up and down lately, but also quite happening.

Anyway, Happy birthday to Benny. I doubt you are enjoying your birthday too since you're inside the camp.

I hate perspiring on Monday because I will be wearing formal and the disgusting socking for the whole day. It totally feels sucks when the sweat stuck in your socking, making it feels to sticky. Okay, guys won't understand how girls feel, never! Crashed other bese class and I tried to stay awake.

Had dinner with Yihui and bumped into Decong at Century square. I totally couldn't recognise him at all, I recognise his voice instead. Went to find Rachel and went home with her! :)

Ohmygod, I'm freaking afraid of Wed now. Never will I wish that Wed is here. I wanna conquer ssm and get over with it! Sorry, I never do accounting tutorial again. :( I hate myself, yuckkkks.

That's fast and it's already the my last weekend. I've a great day again! :)

Kianloon has the cheeks to lie to me again and again and I've waited for him for super long. Bus with him to suntec and both of our butt had rotten. His taste is weird. Listened mp3 with him and he kept changing songs!



Surprised Benjamin and Justin at IT fair and he was shocked because I went to grab his hand from behind! We went to slack at the cargo area whereby Kianloon and Justin smoked. I was freaking shocked when Justin smokes!



After that, rushed to meet Yihui and Joyce at Tampines and we went Ikea! Before we could have dinner tgt, Joyce got to go off so Yihui had dinner with me! :)



Went to meet Yihui's friend, Daryl, after that and we were like a fool. Supposed to go Tampines Harry's bar but it was closed. So, Daryl decided to has nihon for dinner. Walked all the way till nihon but it had long queue so decided to cab to Pasir Ris Park for drinking. We couldn't get a cab at all! Then decided to have dinner at Sakae Sushi and made an impromptu decision to buy vodka to Daryl's house!

His house was quite spacious and he has an entertainment room, cool! Played 'stress' with him while Yihui was surfing nets. He's so fu yan me, hahaha! Mom kept calling me and my face was freaking red at that time. It was my first time feeling so giddy and really feel quite drunk but I ain't drunk. Walked around the house and took bus back.



Yay, a weekend just ended. Gonna wear formal tmr and start school life and freak, I realized I haven't research on my project. Okayyy, bye! :)

It was a great day.

Rachel is nice that she accompanied me to buy my slipper 'cause my fourskins is really cui. Walked around inter and I bought a short and a top from cache cache. Off to meet Thaijin at amk to Jaslyn's house and she was god damn long. Hahahah. Bought rojak to her house and see them bake their cookies and muffin. :)



Thaijin and I just sat at the sofa watching our channel u and playing with skye. Was hungry around 9 plus so Jaslyn accompanied me to have dinner at mac. Bus back home and my thoughts are running wild.



Hopefully, tmr will be another great day! Going to it fair w kianloon, ikea with yihui and joyce and night drinking with yihui and his friends. Watching personal taste now and lee min ho is really freaking handsome! [:

I feel that I'm being make use of. Trust me, I won't reply any of your messages anymore. I'm not your entertainer. When you bored then you text me, when you're not, you don't. Hello, just be independent and don't treat me like a fool. Because whatever you do now, I feel disgusted. You're seriously just a bastard to me. Get the fact right that you need to grow up because your mentality is just like ten years old kid. Feeling so desperate? Why not go geylang? There's lots for you to choose. Pui, bye! You sucker.

"Love is, above all else, the gift of oneself." - Jean Anouilh



Oh gosh, my mood suddenly goes down when I am thinking that Wednesday will be here soon. It will be our first operation and I don't wish to screw it up. I tried to memorize what captain must know but it's hard. I can't memorize the menu at all. I'm suffering from ssm. Always telling myself that it's part and parcel of life that we'll be stress at some point of time but, whenever it is happening to me, I feel sucks.

Just four more days from me and I wish I won't bring down the whole team. I don't wanna be a burden to everyone. Damn, it makes me feel like drinking now.

Thanks Edmund for compensating by treating me drinks during ccn day. Ccn day was totally bored to the freak! It wasn't as exciting and happening as a year back. The stuffs were all so boring, sigh. Chuanhui bought candy floss and I bought popcorn and we brought to lab to eat. I sent out a resume to DFS, hope I'll be selected! :D

You spinned my head right round, right round. Enough of the sweet talk, will you? I don't wanna be soft hearted, ya know.

"Rise to a glorious sunset, etched in memory with an eternal promise of love"

Having ticketing lesson now and managed to finish the practice questions. It's freaking cold in the lab now even though I'm wearing cadigan now.

Wed was holiday and met the poly clique for dinner at Aston and drinking at Harry's Bar. :)



Hugged Chuanhui and took photo.

Jaslyn had a great night that night, me know, she know, we know :)

I am confused, worried, frustrated, disappointed in myself. When I've decided to let go of it, he suddenly called me when I was with clique. I felt so lost, don't know how to react. I tried to tell myself not to be soft hearted, and I'm still trying.

Had field trip to Marina Bay Sands yesterday and had Just Acia for lunch with clique.

Went off to meet Kianloon at Amk hub for Unstoppable. Both of us were freaking shag 'cause we slept for 4 hours only. At least Unstoppable is much better than The Paranormal Activity 2. We had subway and went out of Amk to accomodate Kianloon to smoke. Never did we realized that there was actually a slashing incident nearby, till I saw the news today.

Bought Koi and waited while he smoked again. Took bus 25 to Bedok and we changed bus. I kept on persuading him to take a nice photos and he always gave that guailan face. Hahaha and guess what? We kept spamming photos from Bedok all the way till he reached home! :)

Okay, I shall go back and do my ticketing and later going tour around for CCN Day!

"Mistakes are part of the dues that one pays for a full life" - Sophia Laren



See, we're girlfriends because we xin dian gan ying and wore the same kind of clothing yesterday! :D Chuanhui and I wore grey top and legging, Thaijin and Jaslyn wore white singlets w blue jacket and legging. Four of us wore legging! We never discussed beforehand and all these are fated! (Y) How sweet can we be?



Thaijin, trust me that I never angry with you about today! You're one of my best friend leh! I can't live without your nonsense, trust me! So, don't be so paranoid okay? Hehehe. Have time, we shall buy cans of beers and slack at sky garden!

Aston with poly clique just now at Suntec and went to Harry's bar for drinking. Had sex on the beach and tried their screaming organsm. Played guessing fist and etc. Shall post the photos when Chuanhui uploads it! Back home with Silas and he's a gentleman that sent me home till lift despite he was abit headache after drinking. Had a great laugh with him because of the newly couple! :)

Okay, field trip to MBS tmr and watching unstoppable with Kianloon at amk hub! :)

"Some people think that it's holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it's letting go" - Unknown

I totally agree with the quote. I know I've been saying that I want to let go, but my words always speaks louder than action. I have always been blogging about this matter and now, it's like no one will believes in me again. Countless times of empty promises, countless times of high expectation, countless times of disappointment, countless times of heart broken, countless times of self-console and countless times of unpleasant comments. I've thought of countless and countless of times. I realized I am really slowly letting go, slowly feeling lesser heartache, slowly used to not messaging you all day long, slowly and slowly drifting away from you.

I'm a fool for keeping your messages. I'm a fool for smiling to the phone when I saw your sweet text, knowing that it might not be the truth. I'm a fool for falling into the trap when I know there is a big hole there. I've enough of it already. Falling the trap once is understandable and forgiven. Falling the trap twice is slightly dumb but can be forgive. Falling the trap thrice is a fucking fool act and falling the trap for countless of times is a worst hell thing you can ever do.

So okay, enough of it, you're already like a big fool. That's that!

I guess it's true that most of the guys are the same when courting a girl. Nothing but realistic. One reject you, you change target. If reject again, you change again. Till, you found the dumb one that accept you because you are just a predator finding a prey.

I'm fuggin' tired now. Goodnight!

"Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war, love is a growing up." - James Baldwin

Met my lovely girls at 12 to complete our ticketing assignment but we still couldn't finish. We walked around the campus with our business wear and our action are so restricted. Shiseido lesson was still all right but everyone was like shivering inside the theatre. It was freaking cold and the speaker kept saying "alright", till I've lost count. Lol.

Skipped ssm lecture, :( That was my second lecture that I've skipped in this sem. I think there will be more to come. Nutrition test was utterly disappointing!



Decided to have dinner at opposite school and this lao tiko kept looking at Chuanhui's back. Kns, totally a lao tiko look! Chatted away at the bench and we went seperate way. I had grapefruits and golden pear tonight, yay 2 servings of fruits. Imma healthy kidz. :)

Sometimes, I think that love has really made me grown up. It taught me reality. It taught me how to care for a person wholeheartly. It taught me patience.

"There are some people who live in a dream world, and there are some who face reality; and then there are those who turn one into the other." - Douglas Everett

Waking up feeling so frustrated with my dad. I am still lacking of sleep! Jaslyn came over to my house to pass me my belated gift. :) She gave me this long photo frame.

Chatted with her awhile and we went to inter for dinner and studied for my nutrition test tmr. Benjamin came and find us awhile and I went to accompany Rachel to get her stuffs from Cotton On. I think wonder girls nobody is seriously v popular because it's playing on radio 98.7 fm now. Ben accompanied me to get my fruits from fairprice and I bought grapefruits and golden pears. :)

Received email regarding wed ssm and I will be the captain for the first day operation. Good luck to me, I am very scared of writing wrong orders. My mind had so much vulgarities but I'm controlling. Okay, business wear tmr again! Shiseido lesson and hopefully, I won't fall asleep. My face getting more and more cui after the pimples bursting out. Gonna finished revising my nutrition and off to bed.

Goodnight, love. :)

"In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breaths away."

It seems like I have yet to get back all my sleep hours. I fell asleep in front of my laptop last night and woke up at 1pm today but I still feel very tired. Went to town with Zhiyu and Jason this afternoon to buy our stuffs. Had an apple today, at least had half serving of fruit. :) Took 518 home w Zhiyu and the bus made both of us felt like vomiting.

I'm done with my scapebook that kept w memories, and it's filled w many meaningful quotes.

That was like years back photo, when I was still a slim gal but it's no longer now. I went to this little cute boy's birthday chalet just now and gave him a cow piggy bank w/ many jellies. I feel like kop-ing it but abit too embarrassing.

Ticketing made my mind and brain go wtfwtf! I can't catch with what the tutor was talking. I can't afford to do badly for my class test! I wonder why I so geikiang take ticketing, I really wonder. After school, and with much persuasion from Chuanhui, I went out with her and her brother. We had tori q for lunch and rushed to expo w/ my mommy! Bought the cow present and rushed to dfs. Settled some stuffs and walked around fep and that's it. I saw the bag I like, I'm still considering should I buy but I should be most prob buying.

I'm so sorry so sorry so sorry Yongji. I didn't know bus 5 is bloody long that made my butt rot. Had a super duper long journey bus ride and ended up, I was very late so ended up not meeting Yongji. I'm so sorry, we shall meet next week for dinner k? :) Went to coasta sand alone and I was very scare whenever there's ppl walking behind me. Hahahah, I know what the hell but I was just scare. Didn't had dinner so supper at subway at 11pm.

Okay, I'm sleepy already, goodnight!

It's really so tired that you can just doze off anytime. Yes, this is how tired I am. I slept at 10plus last night but I was still so tired and couldn't get up. Dragged and snooze my alarm till I was late for lecture! I never seem to be punctual for accounting lec before. Again like last week, by the time we reached, it's time for break! :D

Fell asleep during MICE lec because I didn't bring my last week notes. It is important but I am just too restless to listen already. Whenever I heard her voice, my mind auto turned off. I promise I will listen attentively next week! Cup noodles for lunch with Chuanhui and off for cds. Got a surprise quiz for cds. Rushed to take corporate photo with Chuanhui and we were the last one! My hair totally sucks but what to do.

Bumped into Yongee at bus stop and he accompanied me till inter and I met Weekhim. Had teppanyaki express w him and chatted from 530 till 11pm! We can simply talk everything under the moon! :D We made a deal but I think I confirm will break it, lol! You know me know. :)

Okay, three hours ticketing tmr! FREAK!

It's finally the last boot camp but I'm still not feeling excited at all. The first half of the camp was sucks because we got scolded and was only given half hour break. I felt so fucked up in my heart but what to do, we are just a small fry. Thanks daddy for making extra bread for me in the morning. My lunch was that piece of bread.

Second half was still all right. I'm god damn worried about my proficiency test now. I can't screw it up because I don't wanna see them again! (At this point of time, my eyes are trying very hard to open wide) Whatever it is, today is totally a sucked up day for me!

Firstly, we were only given half hour break. It's already torturinggg.
Then, while we rushed back to the lockers and I walked too fast, I hit onto the edge of the lock, I got a cut on my arm and it's freaking pain! Endure and went back to report.
Finally, ssm is over for the day. Chuanhui and I went to bind the ssm notes and fucking design school binding cost $3 whereby the library binding cost 80cents!

It was totally what the fuck, broadlight robbery at design printing shop. I think only dumb ppl like me didn't ask before binding. Okay, end of story! I'm sleeping soon, it's too tired already. Bye.

The society is really changing. :(

Mice presentation was kind of screw up, freak. Forget it since it's over. Skipped bese lecture 'coz was printing ssm and ticketing notes. We printed from 4 to 6 can, it's damn exaggerating! Dinner at subway with lovely Thaijin, Chuanhui and Zhiyu! :)

I miss Thaijin, muackz! :D IT'S BEEN ONE MONTH SINCE WE LAST WENT OUT FOR DINNER TOGETHER, HOW NICE CAN SHE BE?

I'm chatting with Kevin now and he's freaking irritating and funny. He's a hum that he dares not leave house 'coz of the recent news. HAHAHA! Damn joker. He kept niam to his mom that he afraid that they will come to eunos from bukitpanjang. Lol, I can't stop laughing, nb! :( K, he's totally a damnit joker. He also said that I'm cute gal, hehehe. :) Okay, I going to sleep already!

There's something called Monday blues.

Ticketing was really what the hell. I didn't know it is all about fares, codes, aircraft, airlines and stuffs like that. I tried my best to stay awake during that 3 hours lab session. Having break from 12 to 5 so Jaslyn and I went dating at Tampines central.

Went back to school to print notes and Sweet Rachel came down from SP to find me and accompanied for my ssm and nutrition lec. We went for dinner at Subway and bought all my things! :)

Weekhim has finally comes back from Wallaby and will be meeting him on Thurs. :)

It's so fast that this is my 600th post. :)

I was reading xinmsn.com news and read about Selina's incident and was chatting with Hongjun online. Saying that life is so unpredictable. You will never know what will happen next, it's just so unpredictable. Then, same goes to the dte incident.

After reading all the news, rehearsed my mice presentation on tues. I'm nervous, I'm lack of confident, I'm fainting! Hopefully I'll get over with that 10mins presentation in front of my new classmates and get stress w other things, like ssm menu and carrying plates.

Okay back to my afternoon with Jaslyn and Zhiyu. Three of us took 36 from airport, heading to Orchard. We were too engrossed with our conversation that we just overshot our stop and ended up, we had to walk all the way back so fast to Wheelock. My leg got blister! :( Had tori q dinner at Ion food street and went to taka to buy Jaslyn's Auntie Annes, Zhiyu's hokkaido ice cream and my umeya seedless milk plum! :D

Went to Pedro, Aldo, here and there. Then, to fep for our shoesss! :) When Zhiyu and I wanted to take bus from DFS, Jaslyn said she gonna waits alone till 1030. So, accompanied her to Dohby Ghaut to wait for her friend and trained back with Zhiyu! I think she must be glad to have friends like us! :D Feeling so shag on the way back and now, here I am blogging!

I tried to read basic of nutrition notes, but I got too many distraction already!
I really need to save money already because I wanna buy a diary to note down my stages of life! :D When I old, I gonna read back those memories book and reminisce about the past I had! Developing photos tmr. I'll be generous that I will develop photo of me and my ex because afterall, it was still a long period rls we had. So, it was one of the stages of my life, my teenage life. :) Teeheehee!

G.O.O.D.N.I.G.H.T, A.L.L M.Y L.O.V.E O.N.E.S! :D

Rushing, rushing, all I do is rushing for time.

Time never seems to be enough for us. God seems like playing a fool on me.

Rushing our MICE presentation at airport with Jaslyn and Zhiyu now. I know this sem gonna be a tough one for us. I wonder how am I suppose to memorize those bloody ssm menu and pass my proficieny test, I really wonder.

I'm struggling to get a place in uni, I'm struggling to get assignment well done, I'm struggling to memorize those things that I suppose to do, I'm struggling to manage my time well, I'm struggling to work as part time and manage my projects, I'm struggling to attend all lectures and listen attentively, I'm struggling to pull up my GPA. Last but not least, I'm struggling to get over you, you and you.

My battery is gonna flat, so I going to read up my accounting and nutrition now! :)
Bye, people and you.

In the very first place, you have already took a wrong step.
You realized it, but you continued to fall into the hole.
You were hurt, you were helpless, you were lost.
But you know you have to stand up yourself because this is life and you got to suck it up.
No one can help you from recovering this pain.
You left with yourself and you must be independent to face this life. It ain't any teenage life anymore.
You are stepping into adult life, so you have to handle everything maturely.
Love isn't a game, afterall.

Love is like a war. It's easy to begin but it's hard to end.

I closed my eyes, thought of it carefully, with a calm mind, listening to sentimental songs, and I came up with a decision, or maybe not a decision but how I feel all along.

Many friends have always said I had an emo posts. Because there isn't any happy post for me to post about. I finally realized that it isn't a happy thing to have a crush on a person, to like a person at all. For the first time, I am feeling really emotional, for liking someone. I don't wish to affect my friends' feeling when they are out with me. I tried to keep everything within my heart, even how much I wish to vent it out. You are giving me a hard time. You are making me feeling so lost. You made me realized it was so one sided.

You said you like me but I feel nothing. It's the first time I couldn't feel one's sincerity. So, is this your way of liking a person? Just plainly saying I like you but doing nothing, practically nothing at all. I took all the initiatives, you did nothing. So, this is your way of liking a person? How many times have I made the initiatives already? I've totally lost count. Trust me, for once, that I am really so sick and tired of trying to do much but you aren't catching a thing at all. Enough of the sweet talk, because I never ever believe it at all. It does makes me smile, but I never feel happy from the botton of my heart at all.

I kept thinking if you worth my wait. All my friends said you don't worth at all, not a single bit at all. I still kept persisting and had my own stand towards my feeling for you. But every step I took, I feel that I was wrong and so regret. I consoled myself that you had your reasons of doing the way you do. But it's so not convincing at all. Afterall, we are just from different world. In fact, you aren't the guy that I will like but god plays a fool on me and let me had a crush on you. I take note of the date we went out and every night, I think back the times I spent with you, I had more sorrow than happy. Yes, I know you don't worth at all, not at all but why, why is my feeling still so determined? I swear this is driving me mad.

I tried to reply your message slow, I tried to divert my attention towards other things and not you. I tried all ways but all failed. Don't ask me why I had crush on you because I myself couldn't explain such things too. Blame it that fate made us know each other and out of hundred of friends I have know, you are the one. Blame it on that. We don't meet that often, just that we messaged all day long but this isn't making us close at all. So, I believe that I can still give you up. I believe with much determination, you will soon be disappear in my mind. Because now, I hate you so much for making me feeling so confused, feeling so unimportant, feeling so one sided. I hate you, for saying you like me yet you are behaving as though you didn't say this at all. I hate you, for making so much promises yet you hardly fulfil it at all. I hate you, for appearing in my life and creating a din in my life.

This is how much I hate you. I beg you, for disappearing in my life.
For the sake of your own good, as well as, mine.

My face got alot of pimple can! It's getting worst and worst, cmi. :(

Okay, I was totally late for accounting lec today! Lecture at 9am yet I woke up at 830am. Rushed and reached around 9.50am. At 10am, tutor said go for a short break, hahahah! Zhiyu gave me my birthday card and it was very nice! :D



V you xin to do this. :)

Basic of nutrition tut was huh huh huh. I feel that I have totally took a wrong cds, it's freaking hard! :( Finished tut and went to Ion with Chuanhui and Zhiyu. They accompanied me for interview and I have a job trial at Ion Kikki.K on Saturday! During the interview, I was too nervous that I had totally forgot about the things I've learn at Up your service! :( I'm so disappointed w myself. Pray hard for me on Sat k! :D

Walked around FEP and Benjamin came and find me! Took 518 home! :D

I went to see Kikki.K website and I so feel like buying this product! It's freaking nice and sweet can! :D Shall see if I should do for christmas gift, hehehehe!

I'm really so tired that I don't know how to describe the feeling now.

SSM always make me feel so lethargic but today is definitely better than last week. My leg ain't that pain already, I used to standing up long hours already! :D Today boot camp is definitely tougher because I can't manage to carry the heavy heavy plates at all. I really wonder how am I gonna survive and pass during the pro test 1. Though the plates are heavy and everyone had hard time struggling to support but everyone is so united when we started sang songs to distract our mind!

Wine opening is fun fun fun! :D We corked up the bottle and we uncorked it. But my pouring is still leaking here and there. Nvm, practice makes perfect! Scoop up the ice using spoon and fork was all right too. Hehehe. Okay, rushed back home and meeting Kenneth later on! Thanks him 'coz he said meet at Tampines instead since I am so tired!

Suddenly two jobs called me just now. I don't know which one to choose leh! :( Freak, tmr 6pm must rush to Ion. Good luck to me! :)

Cause I know that you won't change. Cause you're hot then you're cold, you're yes and you're no.

I've told you how I feel. I'm lost. I feel that you're hot then you're cold, then you're hot again and you're cold to me again. I don't know what am I insisting on. All my friends said it's not worth, but why ain't I heed their advice. Why? Kevin said I ain't determined at all, I ain't strong and decisive enough. I know, I know I said I am trying yet my action doesn't show it all. K, all I need is time, trust me! :)

Nice Yihui met me after school for dinner, me love him! :) He passed me my birthday present and I was expected about it. Initially wanted to have subway but the queue was freaking long so ended up had tori q. Haowei treated me, hehehe! :) THANKS MAN! You made me had a great laugh.

I am very sian over my blazer and gonna look out for a new one at G2000 tmr. Send resume to resort world sentosa and hopefully, I'll get a reply asap! :) Oh yah, finally form grp alr! :) Hehehehe. Internet connection sucks like shit, how am I supposed to do project at night! FREAK, mom definitely won't allow me to do project outside, hoh say liao loh :(

Okay, accounting and mice tutorial tmr! Gonna see Sheila tmr, byeeeeee.