Happy Birthday Sweet Eden

It is already her third birthday and I can not believe it.

Happy, happy birthday Eden Grace! We love you so much and miss you every day, but we are comforted in the knowledge that we are an eternal family and will see you again someday. Thank you for coming to our crazy family and for blessing our lives in so many ways in only 4 months. I still miss you so much every day and sometimes it's still hard to understand why you couldn't stay with us here on earth longer, but I have to have faith in the Lord and His plan. Never forget how much we love you and what a central part you are in our family.

Her grave marker has been in place since early October and we are so happy with it. It is perfect, just like she deserved. We have the "happy birthday" banner hung in the kitchen and are planning a grand party at her grave tonight with family, balloons, ice cream and some bubbles!

Her marker was custom made for us. It is meant to look like a fairy scene, a little "pixi hollow" of you will. There are bunnies, butterflies, flowers and fairies.

The wording on the marker says:

"Princess, when they placed you in our arms, you slipped into our hearts and there you'll stay until we hold you again. We love you with all our heart and treasure every memory of our butterfly kisses."

Love,

Your Eternal Family

What We've Been Up To

Triathlons, ice cream, new hair do's and doggie doors!

NEED I SAY MORE!

The Second Year

It has been two years now since our sweet Eden passed away. Two years since I kissed her sweet face for the last time. Two years since she returned to her Heavenly Father. I love her and I miss her so much and I still think of her every day, but this year has been easier. I use the analogy of a wound for people. When the cut first happens it stings, hurts, oozes and aches so much. It is almost constant. Then it scabs over, but at first the scab is so very tender and it can split, break, ooze or bleed at any moment. However, over time and with lots of love, care and patience the scab is stronger and will finally become a scar. Now the scar will never go away and occasionally it will itch, burn or ache but not to the extent of the fresh wound. It is just there as a constant reminder of the history of the wound and when you look at it or touch it, you remember it's history but without as many emotions or hurt. This is completely how it is with me and the entire experience with Eden. I will NEVER forget any moment with her and my heart will always have a small hole left by her passing, but the sting and the burn is not there. I know this is what Eden would want for me, for our family. Marcus always tells me that life is for the living and I have to embrace the children I have here with me.

I love you Eden and I thank you two years later for teaching me so many important lessons and for making me a better person. Our family is stronger because of you!

Very Overdue Update

Since it has been way too long since I put anything on our blog, I thought it would be best if I gave a photo update. Our family is good, in fact great, and we are all happy, healthy and enjoying the summer. Kanyon is growing so fast and has successfully become the favorite of everyone in the family. We really feel like he is a great blessing for all of us, a calm after the storm if you will, and has brought so much joy and happiness to our family. I didn't realize how we needed him until after he was born. The healing that our family has experienced with him as the core is remarkable.

Enjoy the pictures!

Eden's 2nd birthday was a lovely day, but overcast and rainy. Our fabulous friends put all of these balloons in our yard while we were at church. Thanks Andersons!

Saying Happy Birthday to Eden. It was so cold and wet.

Two white balloons for her second birthday. Hard to believe it's been that long!

Her birthday cake with a princess crown, of course!

A delicious pink cake from the Andersons and a cookie pie (my favorite) from the Goodmans. We love you guys!

Of course we had a party for Eden and sang happy birthday. How blessed we are to have so many family and friends that love and support us.

Most mornings when I come in to Kanyon's room this is what I find, Finley and all! I do not use baby monitors so it's always a surprise :)

Yes I admit it, I have a CRUSH!!

Happy Easter Ainsley. She is getting so grown up.

Can you see all of the freckles Emerson is getting. Let me tell you, she has a personality to go with her fiery red hair.

Kanyon's 1st Easter. Chilling out as usual.

Visiting Eden with the cute balloon the Easter Bunny left her. She is never forgotten. PArdon the squints, but it was SOOOO bright.

My boys, how I love them.

Easter Memories

Memories come and go, but I have been taken back this past week to the Easter week two years ago. It was Eden's best 4 days following her surgery and the best she would ever look post surgery. I miss her so much lately and my heart is very empty right now. Eden, I love you and I miss kissing your sweet face and rubbing your dainty hands and feet. Oh how I wish you could have been in our home with us to romp and play with your brother and sisters. I love you and I miss you so much it hurts!

Holding her on Easter Sunday 2009. One of the last times I would hold her before the night she passed.

Happy Easter my sweet Eden. How grateful I am for the Lord's sacrifice for us that makes it possible for me to see you again.

One Pound in Two Weeks: Enough Said

That's right, Kanyon gained another pound in just two short weeks.

At his 4 month well visit he had a little fluid in his ears and was put on an antibiotic. We went back today to re-check his ears and he has gained another pound! He was 16.5 pounds two weeks ago and is now 17.4 pounds. Both Ainsley and Emerson only weighed 17 pounds at a year old. Hence his nickname "Meatball!"

Here are a few photos of our crazy life lately. Enjoy!

Boy does he look like Emerson!

The girls, especially Ainsley, are so in love with their brother!

I'm a little biased, but don't we have the cutest dog ever. We love our Finley.

Getting ready for church. Marcus loves to rough and tumble with his boy.

Me assuming the position. This is where I sit, reclined, almost every three hours each day and Finley is ALWAYS right beside us. He LOVES his baby brother too.

Didn't judge me, but I have been known to feed Kanyon in the early morning, like 6 am, then put him in our bed for some nice, comfy sleep. Yes, Finley sleeps on our bed. He doesn't shed so I don't mind.

Who looks more comfortable, you be the judge?

I just can't get over how big he's getting. He's now in a #3 diaper and Emerson never even outgrew a #3. SCARY!!

Kanyon has so much fun goofing around with the girls and always wants to be right in on the action.

The Way to My Heart

If you will recall, about a year ago Marcus surprised me with a new pair of workout shoes and I was one happy woman.

Well, on Thursday he did it again! Same brand, this years model, different color and oh so "snazzy" as my dad would say. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my cute, strappy, girly shoes, heels and sandals, but I am just as happy in a sharp pair of running shoes and I feel no less girly or cute in them.

I am one that does not mix business with pleasure. I have running shoes that I ONLY run and train in. I have gym shoes that I wear for strength training and cross-training and I have sneakers that I wear just for comfort. I am sure I will get many "comfy and snazzy" miles out of these shoes and if nothing else I will get some looks for the color!

Thank you sweetheart. You really are so thoughtful and good to me because you know just how to make me smile!