me
September 11
W466 | City Harvest
Pioneer Junior College | 08S32
my tweets
your talk
our language
my past
March 2007April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009
January 2010
April 2010
May 2010
June 2010
Tuesday's aftermath
So puffed up I decided to take a day off. I can't believe it! So I didn't study much. Inched forward in private practice though! Oh well. I've got to get serious! My aunt's kind enough to give me a prep talk. So I'm not complaining. Time to kick serious butt
Wednesday's addiction day. Or the fact that I'm trying to get over it. I'm constantly thinking about Mambo Jambo! I wanna dance real badly. "Nobody nobody but you!" Totally stuck in my head. I wanna dance. With or w/o alcohol. I think the latter is better for now. I think yin ling must be gloating at my incident.
Went to gym with Sam in the morning. Wasn't a very accomplished gym-ing session but I guess i did put in effort to burn off some of those excess calories. I think running on the track is better. Especially in this cool weather compared to the stupid thread mill MACHINE! Talking about the weather, it seems to be very loving these few days. Hope it stays this way till the end of mid july where I'll be having my MY! oh well. Time to kick those ass in my brain to work
//How great is our God
tuesdays are interesting!
I sleep, but my heart is awake;
It is the voice of my beloved!
He knocks, saying,
“ Open for me, my sister, my love,
My dove, my perfect one;
For my head is covered with dew,
My locks with the drops of the night
He knocks, saying,
“ Open for me, my sister, my love,
My dove, my perfect one;
For my head is covered with dew,
My locks with the drops of the night
----
Tuesday began with a trip to CMPB. I expected it to be a quick one so I can go home to study. However, it took longer than expected. THREE (3) hours to be exact. Had to do this glucose test. ALL because the first time when I failed the urine test they without any care put that my glucose level was high. SO I HAD TO BE TESTED! argh! Was like WTH ttm! but it's ok. Time flew by and i was done. I met Sam for lunch at Macs. I decided Macs so that I could get the charcoal cup. Stupid me. I didn't even feel like eating. Totally no appetite. Oh well. Stuffed the food down. Did I mention that Sam looked extremely...
The afternoon continued with a struggle whether should I postpone tuition. Really didn't feel like having tuition. In the end I changed the timing to an hour later. In any case, I just have to mention that my phone is spoilt AGAIN! like the 5th time. I'm so not going to trust SE anymore.
So the afternoon continued with auditions for teenage band. ROUND 2! It was quite nerve-wrecking. Had to sing in parts and all. But thank goodness it went well. Not that bad. Results will be out in a few days time. Also, I was so worried what song I should sing. Thank goodness they had a pre arranged song.
Right after the auditions. i rushed home to choing the last lil bit of tutorial before going for tuition. Tuition today was shorter as we went thru Chem Bond and there wasn't much I didn't understand. It was nerve-wrecking but not so.
The whole day was just adrenaline on overdrive. From the moment my blood was drawn till the end of tuition, my heart was pacing+racing like mad. Finally as i type and write here, I feel much calmer and less "on the toes" feel. Tmr's going to be a full blown day of study so I'm going to rest early so my mind is clear. Song of Solomon has been awesome. Thank God for great leadership. Thank God He's AWESOME!
//My sister, My love, My Dove, My PERFECT ONE.
it's suppose to make me grow!
Now that that's accomplished, the usual things my parents would say now are, study hard and stand up straight. Apparently though I know the importance of them both, one so that i can earn big bucks, the other so that i can still remain tall without the fact that I would look like the hunchback of Notredame. Just like a little kid, i would drag my feet and do those stuff. Maybe when I grow up, just maybe, I'll see the light
I guess God's just like our earthly parents. Or vice versa. He would tell us what's wrong wants us not to do it. He tells us what's right and wants us to do it. Like prayer and reading the word, we would never understand why we need to clock that hour or that few chapters but I guess as we grow to understand, we realise its importance. Now that we grow older, God expects more from us. No more vegetable talk. He wants us to be useful for His kingdom. So we face trials and people and much more. And God expects us to be fruitful. To multiply what He has given to us. I guess many just like me would drag our feet to do what He calls us to. But now He expects a willing heart. And the list just goes on.
Life is progressive. I guess that temptations that I face is so that I realise that without God, I cannot overcome it. And so as I wrestle with my mind, I pray God will do something lest I fall into temptation.
On a side note, I'm really irritated with the fact that I have to press shift every time I press the letter I so that my I would be capitalised. Why can't they have it on auto mode so that I don't need to constantly remind myself to press the I. It's utterly torturous!
Erratic sleep timings are bad. No more 2 am, 3 am nights for me. I need to sleep by 12 so that i can be energetic the next day + have beautiful skin. I think praying also adds on to the " we'll grow more and more into His likeness and image!" haha
//looking at the border picture
immature vs mature
>The immature shows her love by communion & consecration—spending time with God, living a crucified life.
>The mature shows her love by fruitfulness & productivity for the kingdom.
tuition
//hard work paves the way for greatness.
Wasted!
Oh, talking about my virgin night at a club. We totally forgot to ask Candice out! And when i read her recent post, it didn't cross my mind it was us. But as i revisited it a few more times, i realised she was angry with us. I'm ashamed to be called her friend now. I guess I've really let her down. Well, so much excuses could be made but it was our fault. Or maybe just mine. How could i have forgotten about her? ARGH! maybe i was too obsess with trying to get in and how i hope i don't see Ling that distracted me but oh well, nothing i say will suffice for the criminal act i did. I'M SORRY CANDICE! Really sorry. Filled with remorse and guilt now.
Ok so back to my story. After i puked, my head was still pounding like HELL! Very pain. Thank goodness i wasn't at a club or what. So, i went home in utter pain. The bus ride home with Sam kindof turned into a pity party. I was just feeling depressed. But i guess I'm happy i let it all out. When i reached home, i went into JH's room immediately to seek solace. I was like pouring out my troubles? haha like some drunk kid. Anw it somehow turned in to an hour long worship session and i felt the POG. Which made me consider, if alcohol would make me feel so much pain, why inflict it on myself since this pain isn't the first time. I might vow to not drink again. I'll pray about it.
All in all, the night didn't turn out that bad. I felt His presence. That was all i needed.
//You are my WORLD!
Love
When it's from God, it's totally amazing. Like a father who loves his child, so is God's love. But it's the initial love that seems sweet and all. Wait till you experience the tough love to mould and break you. To make you mature. Oh that will be so painful you'll come out either stronger or defeated. Of course, God promises us that He'll never forsake us so fret not. When we come out defeated, it shows how much effort or how little effort we've put in to fight that fight. Well, how magnificent eh? But nonetheless, it's awesome. He gave His son! Who would ever do that? and let alone let His own son die for the sin of mankind many who still turn their face from Him? ok that's pretty much awesome. (I'm guilty of turning away). So when I'm down, i would constantly try to recall of my first love experience, the encounters that I've had, the reason for His death, and proclaim the freedom that has been given. Oh well it's become so much of a routine I'm sick of it. Someone ought to get real. Disclaimer, I'm not criticising God, I'm just frustrated at where i am and why i keep running in circles never being able to find a way out. I guess only God's love is awesome. It's indeed a many splendour. But that's as far splendid love goes.
Forbidden love. Oh just like the fruit in Eden, it taste or seems to taste the sweetest. Here's why I've decided to blog about love. I can't seem to resist the forbidden fruit. Not just the forbidden fruit which is bad enough but a specific one. I already have it in mind. I feel attached to it. To feel the hands that caress, the warm embrace and the knowledge of love in reality. I wouldn't say I'm head over heels but i guess i am infatuated. This is bad! Oh how sweet it will taste. Argh. This is frustrating. Thank Goodness I'm not screaming it out loud. It should and will NEVER happen! I pray+hope.
Love, a many splendours, a many mystery. A lifetime's worth of deciphering might not be enough. I guess only the creator would understand it's full function. It's wholeness and it's desire to bring oneness. Well I'm confused and tired now, thus I'll leave this post here. Maybe when I'm older and more educated, when more experiential knowledge comes my way, maybe just maybe, I'll look at this and laugh it off as childish blabber. But for now, it's as profound as it gets.
//Love, a many wonders!
Inspiration
The church is God's plan for this earth, to bring love in every situation. in Him we're made whole. To be holy and sanctified, to be ready to fight that good fight. To guard against temptations and that which hurt, to bring healing and restoration. Rising triumphant in every situation, endowed with His creative potential. Growing in wisdom and stature, bringing hope and giving sight. Imperfect and flawed, yet stands righteous and holy; it was the works on the cross. Enduring persecution, rejection and shame like Jesus, the church will rise with strength and power. The church is the bride, preparing for the coming of her Lord. Spotless, perfect and mature, she bows low and casts all her crowns in worship. That's the church my Lord is looking for, it's time I rose up to answer that call.
-inspired by Robert Fergusson
New things!
Also, i joined Twitter co check that out too
Usernames
Plurk: Gabriee
Twitter:Gabrie_en
Secondly, thank God for new material stuff! Jun Jie lent me Sims 3 which means i can now play computer games on my mac, I have a new 12.1 MP Sony T90 Camera and lastly an external hard drive so now my Mac HD has more free space! PTL! All these came in yesterday! Awesome eh?
Thirdly, Thank God for SOS! Been learning a lot. But i guess head knowledge is one thing, while experiential knowledge is DA BOMB! That's what I need to experience! More of His love. Time to grow and enter into a new stage of life. No more being stuck here!
//He's the God of all things new!
First and the last
God our hope, Our salvation
Worthy of all the praise
We are alive
Everlasting, Great is Your Name
Jesus the First and the Last
----
I'm tired. Guess it's time to get serious. The word study is as much dreaded as household chores. I don't want to do it, but hey I've got to do it to get good grades. So I'm going to kick my own ass and start working hard for it. Anyway, I've been quite inspired to make wall papers and all so thus the new banner for my blog! haha Hope it's nice to you.
//We are redeemed, Love has defeated the grave
MY GOD
ELOHIM (the creator)
You pronounced your Holy name to Your people
YAHWEH (covenant-keeper)
Your powerful name is at life's valleys and dead-ends
EL SHADDAI (all sufficient God)
You spoke your lovely name into fears and conflicts
JEHOVAH SHALOM (God my peace)
Your whispered Your compassionate name into sorrow and brokenness
JEHOVAH JIREH (God my provider)
You inscribed Your beautiful name in my heart
JESUS (my first love)
//what would I do without YOU?!
life
I'm relapsing into my old former self. I felt needy. Really needy. I felt alone. I need someone, a real human someone. A partner. Anyone will do. When i mean anyone, i really mean anyone. I find gratification in my former ways. I'm letting my past defeat me. I'm letting my temptations rule me. I don't know what to do. I feel lost and down. The highs are easy and quick as the come by. The lows are meant to mould me. But a self-dug valley? i guess it'll be a lesson to walk away from stupidity. But i seemed to not have learnt anything over the past few weeks. Guess i need a prayer life. A disciplined one. Wonder how long more will God endure with me cos i really need him to sustain me.
As you can see, i didn't have a good day. I watched Grey's and felt empowered but now, after the twice relapse and the fact that i don't mind a skewed relationship, i feel defeated. I guess this is enough for a day. Time for rest.
//Tomorrow will be a better day.
We will see HIM!
Coming on the clouds of heaven, exalted
And we will see Him
High and lifted up He reigns
in majesty, in holiness, Almighty One
----
Song of Solomon on friday was awesome! Could feel the love of God sweeping through the whole hall. Haven't experience such and encounter in a long long time. I guess the whole time spent there from the word which was taught line upon line, precept upon precept ( it was really line upon line) to P&W, what mattered most to me that I'll bring home was the experience. But I took the rest home too! haha.
Sat had service. Cheng Yun's birthday. After service went to eat at coffee shop and then to JP whihc we found nothing to do so we went to central park AGAIN! I don't like that place! all the rats and migrant workers. I don't like!
Sun, went for service with Jing Zhou, then went airport for lunch, met alicia, went back expo coffee bean to study, went for GDOP and then Home. Spent the whole day outside! It's great to see the unity of the body of Christ. The better thing was, it was held at hall 8 and the worship team was ours which helped me (idk about the rest) enter into worship more easily. Heard from my helper that the organising committee was so impressed they want my church's worship team to play for next year's GDOP! COOL!
Talking about being impressed. I guess I know why they impress. The people all on stage, they had one thing that many of us lack. Aside from spirituality and all that, I guess what stood out was the spirit of excellence. In giving our best and putting up the best is not easy. Many easily give up, but those who press in will see results. I'm inspired.
OK, this coming wed's my H1 Math paper. Gotta go study!
// Draw me away, to Your presence to stay