me
September 11
W466 | City Harvest
Pioneer Junior College | 08S32
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inclination
Firstly. To this fine lady who actually realises something different in me. Not in a very positive way but she's quite right in saying things hasn't been so smooth sailing for me. Her thoughts have heighten a certain sense in me and thus I'm more inclined now towards her. Let's just say for now that this is just an emotional feeling. But I'm still quite amazed at how intuitive a women's sixth sense can be! Awesome!
Secondly, i would like to apologise for being so mean to China's friend. If you know who. I guess I've been ultra mean to him in my thought realm and when i read his blog i realised my stupidity in dishing out passing comments that have been detrimental and almost emotional murder. I ask for forgiveness. I see a very interesting side of a person vastly different from the facade i get to see in school. I'm shock at this revelation. I pray he'll be able to find a home loving enough. A church i should say. He's rich btw. I think.And so are his friends. And he did rather well relative to my O's and PSLE. Ok i shan't compare.
I'm amazed at what SAM said on his blog. I guess every time i said i made a stupid mistake in trying to sow into a person's life who's almost uninterested in building a relationship with me is quite an assumption. Maybe he does care just that he doesn't show it very vividly. To Sam: I believe that there's an inner potential in you to be a greater person.
I suddenly feel extremely distant from my spiritual roots. I've been lagging behind in my goals for this year and I've been rather complacent and have in inability to say NO in engaging PM. This has proved to be a large blow to me since I'm seriously trying to stem my addiction problem. Guess alcoholics are able to get out of it much easily. They just suffer withdrawal sickness. I guess I'll suffer a constriction in my growth. Ignorance is strength. Seriously, had i not discover such an evil plot, i would not be suffering for YEARS. Had i been ignorant, the strength i could have gotten from NOT engaging it is going to be way easier. However, they say KNOWLEDGE IS POWER. Now that i know that it's wrong, i should stand up and say no to it. Which is something very hard as it tests my level of discipline. I have to stem this problem at the root. I have to come clean to someone to be accountable. I know there's more to life than struggle. And i know there's more to life than problems and circumstances!
my thoughts
it you read this keep me in your thoughts and prayers alright? really need it at this moment.
my problem
blogging
Orientation's over and I'm finally going to enjoy my friends again. If they still haven't forgotten about poor me.
I've been meaning to thank Sam for what he said on his blog. was caught by surprise. Thanks.
I've moved on from the comments that were being made.
It's valentines day today and I'm spending it alone. I reached home so early! 10pm. Service was not bad today. I feel burden about certain things now.
I've been going through a lot of stuff lately. I shall just announce it here then. I'm contemplating to quit choir. Don't ask me why, I'm still going over it.
Today, my blog has become even more incoherent. Just some updates. I'm now in China Desk a new initiated CCA. Year book's in which means A level results are coming real SOON! I'm starting to like China Studies now.
I thank God for the people who are willing to see me through.
:)
FIRE!
I was doing great this whole week till today. I need your love, but i feel naught. Won't you pour your love once again? I realised i reached a plateau in my walk with you this week yet i did not try my very best to ask you to fill me once again. Now that I've fallen, will you take me back again?
It's really interesting that a Man's greatest need is sexual! How frustrating it must get for all those grown men...
I want God to love me again. I want to fall in love with God once again. It's so true that in a relationship both parties have to make the effort. I haven't and now i must!
The LORD has appeared of old to me, saying:
“ Yes, I have loved you with an everlasting love;
Therefore with lovingkindness I have drawn you. (Jer 31:3)
Affected
The letter from CMPB aka NS registration came through my mail today. I need exercise and get my pull ups working !
I say, but will i do? that's another thing. haha I need to do!
Enough thought for today, the J1s came in yesterday and till now i haven't gotten a chance to pick my choose. I guess it's not as important to me now. Since i have this new EC! haha. Not going to talk much but it's not at all close to China.
Apparently, i act weirdly when China's around. Not a very good thing. Been embarrassing myself in front of many people especially the J1s.
Note to self: CONTROL!
Goals for my physical health: PULL UPS! STANDING BROAD JUMP! SIT & REACH! I CAN GET A SILVER!