me
September 11
W466 | City Harvest
Pioneer Junior College | 08S32
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extension! part 1
I"M APPEALING to ACJC! lol that's crazy eh? i think so too...anw went for their band prac ytd. which was sectional actually and i felt really weird..anw LTT called me and Lene out and he like scolded us for coming so late! But i really didn't know we could like just come for their band prac and then appeal in! weird eh? so anw the J2 clar peeps were kind but J1 peeps are like snobby! like we're some low class peeps...seems like they don't like NEH-bourhood schools! lol ! anw after the band , i really started thinking..what if i got in? what if i really got in? do i want to be there? the culture is weird..not like how neighbourhood schools would work..the peeps are form "prestigious" schools! and it would some how make me feel inferior what...like the J1 peeps were like discussing about their choices and R5 and their R5 was like single digit! like wah!! and me 18 pts! how leh? Maybe my place really isn't there..but it's for experience right? to see the world from a different perspective..it truly has been an eye opener and i think i'll look to things differently form now on.! so anw..there might be an interview tmr or not ( which means they wouldn't want me!) if there's an interview, i really hope to do well and maybe get a place in it? hmmm i need direction now..really feeling lost...thus i end my post with much hope...
DO PRAY FOR ME YEAH? TMR's INTERVIEW WILL GO WELL!!!!!
the close of an age, the dawn of new beginnings
I know i promised a 100 posts before i stop blogging but I've decided against it as i feel that 100 posts is still rather far away ( considering this is only my 85th post) and i think it's time to move on with my life...this blog has served me well by allowing my vent my anger, show my disappointments BUT has been rather limiting knowing that i'm writing to an audience and that i need an avenue to talk about my life which i can vent it out without restrain and yet i can be as sane about it and not worry that peeps might see it..so well the ending of me blogging will ultimately mean a new medium for myself to share about my life..which is gonna be .. A DIARY!!
I know, a diary? can't believe eh? but i think it's the best way...less restrictive more content! lol and don't need to worry so much!
anw so how can i leave without telling my results?
so my R5 is 18..not really good...16 after minus-ing CCA points
my R4 is 14 and anything else like L1R2B2 for any stream is all 14 thus it means i can't go into the poly course i want( not really want but my other alternatives..)
SO now that i know my results, i would be aiming for PJ! lol but samuel says it's not good...and i think i'm being foolish to keep on trying to mend a broken relationship..stop trying to give in eh? and start making my own future...I really don't want the friendship to be gone leh..BUT I WANNA GO PJ lel..and he say IJ is better..hmm don't know lah...so frustrating...gonna pray and start discussing with peeps...
and so the close of an age...the end of my secondary education and on to new beginnings in a pre-u institution ( JC) .. i really pray that God will guide me to make right decisions for my life and my future!..
finally, i wanna thank EVERYONE who has helped me in every area and every part whether significant or not...thanks for even being in my life! it has impacted me...with this, i put an end to my blogging days...(for now or never)
WITH GREAT LOVE AND APPRECIATION!
Gabriel
my swansong!
what can wash away my sin?
nothing but the blood of JESUS
what can make me whole again?
nothing but the blood of JESUS
there is hope in JESUS..continue believing!
second chance
I FINALLY GO MY ALLOWANCE!!! I HAVE $ so happy sia! ahha the smell of cash i like it like toto! ahha lol anw after sch went to Samuel's house! ahha haven't been there like i 5 years..!! lol and he has a macbook! wah...anw there's smth in the AIR! ahha lol lol...so yah...very fruitful day...
MIO REALLY SUCKS...call them , and they blame on my browser, on my com....MANY MANY pple who use MIO have freaking problems with it! they should rectify their problem before selling it again!..like their doing a disservice to us the consumer...and the problem itsn't minute but it's like my internet is slow and on COUNTLESS occasion, produce an error lander page! MIO REALLY SUCKS! ...super disappointed in SingTel lah....really sad...tsktsk..anw anw...there's NEW MAC STUFF COMING OUT!!!! ahha okok that's abt it BYE!!!
there's something in the air!
issues of life
MY EDUCATION PATH...
well...seriously, the fact that i wanna go JC is fueled by the fact that i wanna make my parents feel proud that they have a normal child who follows the general flow of s'pore's education system.. and well going into the science stream would make this fact even sweeter BUT...as i realised, being in the science isn't so simple as ABC...yes i can show the world how "smart" i am since being in arts gives me a stigma of second class rated students but as i do science in MI, i felt it taxing , strenuous, tiring, stressful and really unmeaningful as i go through life so normally...seriously, MI is suppose to be a slower paced school for the A levels, but if i can't take it in MI, how can i take it in JC? hais..so now i'm reconsidering my life's plan le lah..aiyoyo, i've decided that if my O's permit, i'll choose the arts stream and go for what i would see myself excel in than what i "should" do (being caught away by social stigma) and struggle through JC life trying to achieve what i do not actually want...the real problem now is , should i pursue my dream but have an uncertain future job prospect or should i pursue smth not of my desire yet knowing that i'll be able to get a comfortable office job where everything's safe and good pay etc..hmmm and anw, if i were not to follow my dream, plan b is also good but not to go to JC science stream...but to do banking and finance in a poly..it isn't a bad idea anw..i think it's beneficial too..this is my second desire..let's see how the results comes out befor making a final decision...so is it A(my dream ) B ( plan B in econs) or C ( a good desk bound job with high pay and etc)...hmmm nvr thought such a day would come...
anw, was asking my mum what i should do...she was supportive of me if not urging me to go to a poly cos it's a module by module thing and once i passed it i need not worry unlike A's where it's a 2 year committed thing and if i fail, everything goes...hmmm but if going through A's would me i would secure a place more easily in a Uni with results compared to that of a poly where intake is below 30% of each poly cohort...which means I've gotta work my butts to do well..either way, i still need to work extremely hard..thus, would 2 years of pain or 3 years of pain(though lesser but added up would almost equal) be more worth?
O's are coming out next week...well one step at a time..leaving it to His hands.
My 5th obsession and well someone else..
i thought i had lost interest in my 5th obsession cos of the distance but, everytime i see my obsessions ( let's call this person O) , i would think about it how wonderful if i had a close friendship with O...and anw, there's someone else ..let's call someone else (S) and so i feel that S is no more than a distraction to stop me from my recurring problems(which i will talk abt shortly)...hais...the first one has left lel..now S appears in my life and i don't know how to deal with it...my thought life is really messed up now.... O and S...shoots lah...O would be my gravest mistake while S would be smth no one will ever imagine..hais...so my life seems interesting suddenly eh??
now to the recurring problem...
i've tried to get rid of it..being away from it , praying about it, getting delivered from it,yet, it's still haunting me abt it and i constantly "bow" to it's deadly pull... not really good eh? i've told part of it though not completely and told ling vaguely about it...but gave nth away, just using generic stuff and well, most of my fears come from within.. hais...this problem has plagued me since Sec 1! and till now plagues me like an irritating person who wants to be your fren...yet you don't wanna be his fren, but he keep son clinging on to you, you bow to his demands...then you feel frustrated when you get to know him and run away, and he then continues to cling onto you to start afresh(this is not good btw if you didn't realise)..hais...it has hindered me from many things , and has obscured my view of my greater purpose and destiny...hais..
now to the worse...
with all this problems, I've nvr sought to tell anyone about it...my deepest feelings...not even Him.. i feel ashamed every time i fall and run back to Him..and till now, i haven't change...hais...i haven't gotten right with Him...i feel that i'm treating Him like a toy...only wanting Him when i'm sad..yet when i'm alright, i nvr sought to find him...hais...gotta get it right this time round...it's 08 right? a new beginning for my life! yes! ahha alright
anw on a lighter note, DON"T BUY MIO!!! it really sucks! it's lousy...don't even think twice about it...don't use MIO..though it seems to make your singtel bill look cheaper, your PUB bill will shock you to your death...stupid mio...have to on modem to use house phone...SIAO! ahha anw..i feel happy that i've made frens new and old and there's Samuel...really don't know what to say but really happy to talk to him...he's so fun!! ahha anw that's about it...lol bye!
love my LOVER!
anw...this past week, i've been stuck in many many many dilemma!! so frustrating!..in studies and in relationships...hais...gotta pray abt it..yup..i should not get re-connected to Him lah..lol...
love my lover!
change!
change of mind..
fruitful!
so i thought today will be another boring day....but....I WAS WRONG!!! ahha made more frens today...talked to Samuel too..ahha ahha....really happy today...elated...exuberent!! wah!!! lol...i'm like over the moon!!!!!! ahha yah i should stop yahing...okok...so fri went by so quickly i miss orientation already....really starting to miss it...if i can't go JC, i think i might go MI...hmmmm but I WANNA GO AJ!!!! yes...though i keep on talking about NY, but i still wanna go AJ...Carol's in AJ!!! ahha...lol so yah...hmmm
today after school went city hall..to meet Ling and Rui then met crystal...then they ate...and i slept at the food court...and Rui took picts of me sleeping and she say wanna blackmail me...but who cares...as long as my mouth is closed and i look presentable can le..sleeping only what...pple tired lah...really....MI is like 'far'...as in it's quite a distance..45 mins from home leh...I live cck take 45 mins...pple live north east take 1 hr plus...wht the....lousy transport system lah..really...so anw...er...went starbucks for awhile then went home...thus now blogging and and adding pple on msn!! yeah...MORE FRIENDS!!! i need more friends!! :)
faMIly?
new year resolutions
on the 77th post I'll like to thank many who has been in my life..
barry for being a great leader
rui for listening to me cry for an hour!! and I'll learn to not be scared of you or to anyone else!
kenn my papa! you've shown me much you might not even know
ling for listening to my excruciatingly boring blabbers till 4 in the morn!
alicia for being the msn chat buddy..know it sounds lame..
thomas the intellectual one who challenges me! ahha (i think i really lack iq) hmm....
and so many...hmmm also from dmb wanna acknowledge carol char darylene yuting pr clar and most impt BEN WU with out you (ben wu) i think would be have been worse than mental..and many others!!ahha and most impt to the love of my life who stood by me all this while
ok onto my new year resolutions..i'll have 8 since 2008
wanna be a bv
wanna lead praise and worship during cell group
wanna give salvation bs
wanna grow more spiritually
wanna make more friends (alot alot of true friends)
wanna rise up to serve more both in cg and in ministry
hope to bring 5 friends this year (who will stay)
wanna break the barrier and start opening up my life to higher authority to allow them to mold me ! yes! and to be able to not fear talking to new pple!! yes yes! yes square! double yes!
and well to stop p and m(ok i know this is like number 9...hmmm)
8 resolutions to carry me this year...and wanna get rich..hmm that's 10 but who cares really really need money cash!!! the sound of it i like it like toto!!! ahha yeah and i hope to get into AJC!!! i hope to get 9 pts b4 cca points!!! yes yes ! it can happen!! AND i wanna love my lover even more so much i nvr wanna be apart and to know my lover more !!! love love love...i wanna love like my lover does!!! yes yes yes!! 2008 the year of LOVE!!! yes! ahha that's about it... gotta go sleep tmr my first day of school which i start to dread about...hmmm going mi!! hope to know more friends!!! and have a great time there!! yeah alright bye bye..all those going to school tmr...make it your utmost desire not to pon class(you know who you are!!) ahha and and to get straight As!!! yes!!! alright ..nights..once again,
welcome to twothousandeight!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
HAPPY TWOTHOUSANDEIGHT!