me
September 11
W466 | City Harvest
Pioneer Junior College | 08S32
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hopeless
Many say MY GOD's mighty to save...well i still believe in it though hopeless the littlest hope would cling on this fact that he's ready and greater and MIGHTY to save...well....
I'm fed up with the fakeness one could potray so fake! and could get infront of me! i don't think that the person DESERVES to get what IT got....welll I CAN"T DO ANYTHING... I'm inmature eh? har INMATURE? SHUT UP....what do you know abt me? DOESN"T MEAN that IF you lived your life before me will equate to the fact that you'll know how to HANDLE WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH!!! I'm so fed UP !!!! OH !!!
STUPID DEVIL>>>> THE CAUSE OF ALL MY TROUBLES!!!! where's God when i need him? why ARE THERE SUCH IDIOTIC PPLE ON EARTH? WTH! DEVIL SHOULD BE CONDEMNED IN HELL AND STOP BOTHERING ME!!! but what can i do? I'm now TOO ANGRY TO CARRY ON!..................
THE END
THE END
that's all i can say i suppose...no one really noticed it..did they? no more hiding from the truth...the truth shall set me free...well THE END ..it's not the end of my life, but the fact that the truth should be known... well I've almost given up on the fact pretending that my life was all too perfect.. but now not only have the walls of my insecurity has cracked but it has broken displaying the true vulnerability of me as a living breathing human being...well everyone has their problems and i have mine...my life's no better than others...I've reached out , I've cried out but to no avail, has the almighty one decided to leave me behind? please don't for i am nothing without you...i walk the lonely road with no companion..i won't know how to express my constant struggle with my immorality...Ive hurt many and am in constant self-inflicting situations where i stab myself...i said i will never do it again but hey i still did it...today, was the realisation that i had not fought hard for what i wanted..and well the opportunity just passed by.. I LIFTED MY HAND THE HIGHEST I COULD in search of hope, but hoped passed me by...........oh LORD I'm in DESPERATION
my blabbers (part 1)
I FELL AGAIN...and again i know i will fall...I'm so fed up with things now that I'm going to say i could breakdown anytime...if my God is mighty to save which he is...i don't know...I'm lost now...words could not describe the sense of lost and hopes of a better life...many times i would look at other pple and think that their lives are very fortunate but i know they too have their difficulties...and so have i my difficulties...my life is not for all to see so if you can't take it pls leave...my world was never the perfection it used to seem...the wall are cracking and the dirty stuff are beginning to show...oh the wall can't hold it any longer my cup would break anytime though it isn't even filled..others have their cups RUNNING OVER...I'm so lost of compass of my soul lead me the way of righteousness ...oh my love my all show me the love you gave through your son...oh gracious one pick me out from the ditch I'm in ...oh merciful one, see your child is weeping...will you never let me go? will you not pass me again and leave me ? will you stretch out your hands again when i call? God of all creation...will you?
Love everlasting has been shown and poured but i missed it again and again..i do know he's still there but how long more will it take me to realise that he had been waiting so patiently...now my dreams are dashed and my mouth like a poison ivy pulling others into the ditch I've created..i laugh at pples sorrow i joy at pples pain well I'm that tongue that might have killed millions....i thank God for understanding friends who have protected themselves with vaccines from my evil venomous POISON...well thank God for them....
oh LORD will you hear my call ...
pipe dream?
maybe I'm writing this to metaphor my deepest secrets...it's not easy to be an only child where though privilege is easy to come, relationships are hard to make...my only close ones other than my family are my friends,....maybe i haven't treasure them well and should start treasuring them better,....
everytime i fall into temptation, i fall even worse...before i can see the light i fall in even deeper...like a never ending hole...Jesus did stretch out his hand for me but as i was lifted, i was complacent and let go of it...everytime tis happens...and I'm so sick of it...I'm so conservative on the outside but inside i think I'm worse than anyone imaginable..trust me, you won't wanna know... I fell into it again today and I'm lost of words...i need my saviourKING...but will he come once again?
I'm so lost..at times i thought of leaving but love has kept me strong and strong i will be...the more i need HIM the more i yearn the more i know i need to do more...this post i hope will lead me to remember the goodness he has done to me...i don't know what else to say....
LORD WILL YOU HEAR MY CRY? I NEED YOU.............
BANG!!!
a careless mistake i made due to my over tiredness...iwould blame myself for sleeping on the bus...i had just woken up, my senses weren't at its peak being able to sense danger...
though through the whole day i didn't really think abt it, when i was about to sleep, i was really reminded of how great my God IS! He protected me ...though the pain still lingers on like an irritating pest reminding me of that faithful morning, i am thankful that MY GOD has protected me...i thought of the friends and family who cared and realised that God has also given pple to love and protect..
One other thing i realised was news travels REALLY FAST...by mid-day, HALF THE SCHOOL knew abt it...ahha
well...that said, I didn't have any internal injuries and well only my right arm and leg hurts!...
TMR is the youth day carnival ...only having 2 periods of lesson... can't wait...
MY GOD IS MIGHTY TO SAVE COS HE REIGNS AND HE SAVES AND HE HEALS!
till next time>>>
visit e141
today had a rather fruitful study session if you call doing finish hw as studying...ahha...had pastamania and back to study till abt 6...then wanted to head to Mac to have ice-cream de...but everything qi jia le! what the....stupid gst...but what can i do?
so in the end walk ard causeway point and ended up at interchange sitting on the bench chatting with yun rui and yin ling...wahaha talk talk talk...more than an hour pass so quickly...in the end missed harry potter...but WHO CARES! fellowshipping was fun! had a great time...gonna post on e141 blog abt love or worship....go visit k ? muahaha
yup that's all my nonsense today....hope yin ling goes tuition with me tmr..ahha...
He's higher than the heavens than my dreams , than my hope , higher than all created things
hillsong
aussie!
ytd we celebrated rui's and wiele's bdae...i really felt i did a terrible job with yun rui's card... :(
but really hope she will gan dao my :blood and sweat"
also i missed serving in choir...gave some excuse...hais..im really slacking le must rise up...
also...ahha ...was reminded abt some stuff that i thought i don't and will not want to rmb but yah..shou le da ji :<
my chinese oral's are coming real soon ! can't believe singapore has this O lvl thing... so stupid...but well what can i do? but to work hard right?
the last few days have been hactic with loads of stuff back at full gear...i pray for strength
AND lastly....i manage to get hold SAVIOUR KING! the songs are totally great! especially ONE THING..share with you more when i get the physical album yea?
hope to have a lasting friendship with my new aussie fren.....------>