Alright, the missiles are flying

Yup, I did the first review for the next BiB tonight so it's official now: Banned in Britain #3 is on its way! The movie btw is 'GATOR BAIT, hah! Next up is 'GATOR BAIT 2: CAJUN JUSTICE!! I've also got an editorial so all I need now is another 36 pages (I'm opting for 40 pages this time). Woo-hoo!! 'The missiles are flying', as the president says in Cronenberg's THE DEAD ZONE. I've actually had an outline of the mag laying around on my computer for quite some time (like, forever), complete with cover, editorial, and another 37 empty pages! In my editorial I had explained why I was going to deliberately change BiB from being a horror/splatter movie mag to an overall psychotronic movie mag. However, as I mentioned in my last post, to the best of my knowledge, there are NO fanzines left in the world of this sort, and so I thought it over and, well, decided to do what I originally set out to do; make a full-on, hardcore horror 'n' gore movie mag!! Yep, back to the old days! If no one else is gonna do it I will. Uh, and incidentally I stumbled over a British eBay seller who was selling out from his collection of pre-cert video tapes that has been sitting on his shelves for 25 years! Obviously I had to buy some (too many!!!) of them!! Fortunately (!!!) they were Betamax tapes (!!!!!) so they were cheap and although pre-cert tapes usually are an arm and a leg these ended up being... not very much. Ahh, it's a good day to start off another BiB!

The world's only remaining old-skool splatter movie mag still alive (kind of)

Recently I've received a couple of emails from people asking if I still have copies of my old splatter/horror/trash movie fanzine Banned in Britain laying around. And yes I sure do, a whole pile collecting dust actually so since I'm not using this blog for anything else at the moment I thought I might as well give the ol' rag a plug.



I started publishing Banned in Britain ('BiB' among friends) way back in 1994. It was inspired by the old UK zine In the Flesh that I use to buy when I lived in London in the late 80s. BiB #1 was reviewed in the final issue of the Danish (almost pro-mag) zine Inferno that came out in '94. This all happened back in the days of type, cut & glue-fanzines. Before the Internet (yes, dear young reader, there was a time, in the longlongago, when man didn't have Internet!) and before those shiny little discs called dvd's were invented (I'm not pulling your leg here, we really didn't have dvd's back in the old century either!). In those early days when all we had was video tapes (also referred to as vhs!!) that was when BiB arose from a tormented earth to ravage amongst men of... alright, I'm rambling (again) but to cut the chase short I put out #1 in 1994, sat around on my arse for ten years and put out #2 in 2004, and #3... well, the world is still awaiting that one (i.e. doesn't give a rat's ass). In 1999 I started publishing another zine called Stay Sick! but that's an entirely different story. BiB is where it all began.

No.1 is long gone but as I said I've got heaps of #2 left. 32 pp filled with my ravings about horror, gore and trash movies. There's also something on Slayer (the legendary thrash metal band, in case you didn't know) and reviews by renowned Danish cartoonist Lars Kramhøft. $4/€3 postpaid anywhere in the world. I take PayPal. Just shoot me an email. And before you ask, no I have no idea when issue no. 3 will be out but since it has recently dawned on me that there are almost no horror movie mags (and certainly no fanzines) left I'm beginning to think it's time to revive this so there'll at least be one old-skool splatter mag around! (NB: obviously I'm talking about REAL magazines printed on good old-fashioned dead wood, i.e. paper, as there's, of course, heaps of stuff in Cyberspace).
Jack

Black Warrior (aka Super Platoon)

Yes yes, I know. I should use this blog to tell you more rad stuff from my exiting life. Ehm, soon. Okay. Here, read another of my awesome reviews, this time for Black Warrior.

Kizil Maske

Yes, I'm being slack blogging. Sorry. Hitmen slack off too. Read my Kizil Maske review!
Jack

Silence in space

Everyone seems so happy I've re-animated my blog, woohoo, great! But, ahm, I've got nothing to say (haha). It seems to be a universal problem at the moment. The forums I usually hang out in are quiet too (Uncut + Cinehound) Oh well, at least spiffy miss V is back on her blog. None of the zines I use to read are running. Neither is Stay Sick! (my own rag) for that matter. And I have a feeling television is crap. Maybe I should just go to bed!

Just hold on

Lissen, anybody who's waiting for me to get back to them, to reply, to send you stuff, to talk to you, whether you're in Pakistan or in Denmark or downtown Berlin; I will get in touch! (and I will speak to those of you who want that as well). Just, gimme five minutes here. Or days. Everything will be sorted out.

...A BILLION YEARS LATER

(or: 'The Return of a Torpedo')

On Saturday a week ago I came home late from the hospital (visiting) and was knackered. So obviously I slugged my newly acquired DVD of Cronenberg's EASTERN PROMISES in the ol' DVD player. As everyone knows (at least on these shores) it stars our big Danish hero Viggo Mortensen as a member of the Russian mob. Skip to a week later. I re-adjust my satellite dish and discover... I can watch Russian tv now! A Russian news broadcaster in English. It's surreal beyond belief. The reporters even have the same accent as Viggo. Obviously I'm speaking to you now in a cheesy Russian accent now.

This is not a new post

Although I've decided to close this blog down I see there's 6 (six!) people who come here every day! Listen friends, I have no idea if you're hoping that I'll change my mind, or if you just like to re-read my old postings, or if you re-read my profile and spend hours on end wondering what I'm really like. Whatever your reasons I'm happy you like my blog enough to still come here every day... and there still won't be any new postings! It's over. I have moved on. I'm somewhere else in life now (LOL x 10). There won't be another post in a billion years. Maybe I'll see you around, maybe I won't, but in any case I hope you have a wonderful new year. Not a good one. Not a great one. A wonderful one.
Your friend
Jack J

This is the end, my beautiful friend

Alright, it's been a week since I did a proper post (or semi proper post, or whatever). And I guess I'm just not a very good blogger. In order to do a successful blog you have to post almost every day... and I'm just way too lazy! So, in the words of that ol' Nico track: 'This is the end, my beautiful friend' this is indeed the end. Thanks to everyone who followed my ramblings. I won't delete this, I much prefer the idea of 'En lejemorder ser tilbage' drifting around aimlessly in Cyberspace like an old abandoned Mir space station.
Bye.

"Jo flere broer man brænder, jo mere lugter der af røg"
Jack J, nutidig filosof.