Oh, love and faith is what we all need to get through.

Imagine knowing someone all your life.
Loving that person all your life.
Then, someone comes and tells you that its ending.
That in a couple of months, she may not be with you any more.
What do you do then?
How do u let go of her?
When I think of my earliest childhood memories,
my mind is filled with memories of her.
My first visit to the wet market.
My first time helping out in the kitchen.
When I was too scared to ask from my mum, she bought all those forbidden treats without me ever having to ask: Mamee, Sugus, Tictacs.
Whatever I liked, she always knew.
In the afternoons it was just the 2 of us watching Japanese shows in Malay on RTM.
At night, she'd cuddle me, tell me stories of my grandfather and pat my bum till I fell asleep.
There's so much more I want to tell her, I want to show her, I want to do.
Do I resign to fate and pray for it to end painlessly?
Or do I pray harder and fight it?
Either way,
my heart crumbles.


I wonder,
how many other grandchildren can say the same?

There are things that you loved and you showed
them to us and we loved them too. And there are the
memories that were yours and you shared them with
us and now they are ours. They are heavy in sight and
sound; in fragrance and sensation. They are your life
and our childhood. They are your accomplishments and
our inheritance. They are who you were and who we've
become. You fought against the coarser and baser parts
of our nature with a refining hand and a classic elegance.
We have always known this; always appreciated this;
always recognized we would be but shadows of ourselves
without this, but rarely have we dwelt upon the regal
influence that was your life.


oh mak, i love you so so much.