It just seems that I am sort of back in blogging again. Anyway I also don't know how long this will last for too :D

Just like that picture posted above - I am starting to have acne problems!! I have never really buy skincare products for my face besides having one or two facial masks fortnightly. My face has all along be very smooth without acnes/pimples literally - till recently......

My mother wanted to me to clear my room. So I did. After clearing, I notice my face has a few spots - in red and mild itchy (of course I didn't scratch it la.) But after a couple of days, those little red spots transformed into small little red dots (like pre-outbreak of pimples.)!! I googled the suddencause for  outbreak of acnes and saw articles pointing it to stress or diet related issues. Seriously? I don't have anything on hand that is causing me SO MUCH stress to cause outbreak and my diet hasn't changed too. So I began to suspect whether is it because of the dust I got from clearing my room. RAGHHHHHHH!!! Anyway - my ultimatum is that I will wait. If situation get worsen, I will have to seek for professional help as in skin care clinics (of course I hope not!) T.T

Okay enough saying of my acne problems..... Baby and I will be turning 5 years old next month! So eggcited! We have made a booking at KSL resort hotel (I think it is a 5 star hotel) to have a short weekend getaway just to ourselves!

Went to Bugis yesterday with Baby and I saw this wedding fair! I told Baby I wanted to go to Taiwan and have our Wedding shoot done there! It seems like my dear boy is agreeable and probably we will go....? Anyway that will be like a few years later hahahahaha~



Deep down, I want to get married to him soon because I am ready to take on the challenge to be a good wife and mother just for him. <3 p="">

曲：柯貴民 詞：小寒

有點煩 是有點煩 
我習慣沉默對峙吶喊
駕駛盤 隨他去轉
免得說我刁蠻 
　
有點難 真的好難
我們得獨立同時委婉 
多脆弱才算適度的勇敢

聰明人對愛很柔軟 內心很強悍
現在懂是否已太晚 

是逞強或堅強 委屈都自己扛
我以為那是一種退讓 是一種善良
我站在你身旁 冷靜得像堵牆
把淚水都抵擋 遮住自己傷口的真相
最後誰有心思體諒 （多希望有人會體諒）
我的趾高氣揚 （我的不愿投降）
是逞強或堅強 

越隱藏 越恐惶 越是防不勝防 
越設防 越逃亡 淪為沉默羔羊 
為何不能夠好好愛一場 公平著不需要誰投降

是堅強或。。。逞強

This song is from Channel U drama "Marry Me"!! Kind of addicted to this song for don't know what reason actually lol. Just find the rhythm and such good and enticing ba. Heh heh.

Isn't this good? Having to just click on a "Delete" button and throw everything into the imaginary "bin". Saving all the trouble on thinking and chances on getting hurt. Was telling Baby about it earlier today. If a human's brain can works just like a computer, we can actually delete "files" that we don't want to keep and let it be gone FOREVER.

Hahaha but of course - things won't be this easy for us, fellow humans. God has made it a point for all of us the ability to remember all those happy OR sad moments. Life is just like going to school. Learning all those lessons and getting tested over and over again... Falling down, getting up, falling down, getting up again and again until you learn everything on your own. You will be able to get soaring results for certain subjects, but failed in some. You will meet all sorts of people during your entire school time. Meet important people who are like your teachers/principals etc who will assist or guide you along difficult decision makings etc.

Recently, I have been watching a Channel U drama "Marry Me" on Xin.msn. I am a person who HATES all Mediacorp dramas but this particular one has gotten my attention. There's this couple in the drama who has been together for 20 years and they broken up cos the guy like sian-ed and find another woman. She then forgave the boyfriend who came back to her after breaking up with the 3rd party. For me, if ever Baby did something awful like this to me, I don't think I will be so generous on forgiving him - let alone accepting him again lo. Cos, trust is just like glass - once broken you will never be able to patch it up like it used to be. 

Anyway, it seems like the nap that I have taken this afternoon has shattered the hope of me sleeping early tonight. Hmmm. 

2013

Now playing - Dripping Tears (Son DamBi)

Well, I was kind of addicted by this song by Son DamBi. It's melancholy rhythm and her beautiful voice makes me addicted. I am kind of slow cos I understand that this song was already out a few months ago. But, who cares? And here I am abusing the "Repeat" button of my player. :/

I am blogging on the 2nd day of year 2013. Yes - new year has started. In 2012, I've accomplished two of my goals - Obtained my diploma as well as my driving license. I won't be posting my new year's resolutions like I do in those years cos I am pretty sure I won't be ensuring myself to keep up with whatever shit I have posted in this post. And, I seldom re-read my own posts until I have got really nothing better to do. Hahahahahaha ya -.-.

I am going to KTPH tomorrow to sign their employment letter. Starting a new job in 2013! Finally left my previous job. I hate to see and entertain dramas. The most annoying fact that my lady boss was also involved as well. So well, fuck off idiots!

Anyway by Cindy's recommendation, I have noticed Fifty Shades of Grey (yes that erotic novel that everyone is discussing about). But still, I am still lazy to read because bloody hell it got three books in total!! Then, I read online that they wanted to make a film out of this novel. And they wanted Ian Somerhalder to act as that Christian Grey. So, curiosity kills the cat. I went Google and searched what exactly is this Fifty Shades about. Then after reading the summary of the story, I have decided to give it a try by downloading the PDF of the 1st part to read. Tadah - I then found myself addicted after reading just the first two chapters of the novel. The storyline is great - I admire how E L James (The author) describes the feelings of both the characters. However, the sexual contents are toooo much. I found myself busy scrolling away whenever it comes to the erotic part. For me, I am only interested what happened to Christian and Anastasia in the end rather than the erotic part. But I definitely understand why it is inevitable for the author to include those as that guy in the novel was obsessed with BDSM. I have saw people stating that they want to be with Christian Grey, hope he really exist in this world and he is the perfect lover blah blah blah. I mean how could it be?? He is definitely not the the perfect guy since he has issues with you touching him (due to his tormenting childhood) and he has this thing with BDSM. Yes he is damn fucking rich but then you won't even know will he really love you or not. It is only when he met someone like Ana to melt him and use love to touch him. The previous 15 women have failed what Ana has tried and they were all submissive. Lol! For me, I would rather just sit back and enjoy this piece of good novel by E L James lol.

Well. Till then~~~~

Reminisce

Now Playing: A Thousand Years - Chirstina Perri

Hey, it has been a real long time since the last update which was in July before I went to Taiwan for the celebration of my birthday. Things have changed so much over these few months and I got a little moody today hence this update. I just wanted to put it down in words so that I can read my archives again in future remembering what actually has happened before.

I have submitted a written notice to my company last month to end my employment with them. I am really unhappy with working there anymore - no more motivation, dragging myself to work every single mornings, handling backstabbing colleague and even lady boss... I can't stop asking myself what have I done to get all these treatments. Like I have mentioned in my all my previous posts, I was so elated having had the chance to get employed in this company when both the bosses treat me so good. But times have changed, I slowly to see things and my lady boss has changed her attitude perhaps it is the work of the backstabber in the office. I got to know that she is joining the backstabber in the office making fun and joking about me when they have the chance from my own observations as well as from other colleagues whom I have trusted. All I have done was just keeping quiet despite knowing everything but chose to do nothing because I do not want things to turn uglier when they already are. Besides, I am currently in a bond with my company as they have sponsored my diploma program with PSB Academy. If I quit, I will have to pay the course fee to them which is around $2000.

So what has made me made my final decision? On one fine day, my lady boss called me to a room and talked to me. She asked me whether was I trying to sabotage the students' registration numbers so that I will have lesser work to do. I was so angry and disappointed with what she has said. The words felt like countless needles that she has thrown right at my face. I definitely wouldn't feel this way if let's say I didn't give in my 100% from my 1st day of work. It is not fair for me as I have been putting every ounce of my effort in whichever tasks they have allocated to me and always have promising results. I can also explain in a way that I am actually somewhat a Perfectionist (believe me - I find all of myself matching to the description when I tried to Google the word) and will definitely want the best for whatever I am supposed to be doing there. Everybody says that the number has increased but I don't understand why is she still trying to make a big fuss out of it. I have tried suggesting to her the alternative ways in attracting students but she just can't mark my words. After this, all those motivation etc just gone from me and I find it really hard to stay in this job anymore. Heard things about what she has said behind my back and as well as from the backstabber makes it even harder for me to stay in this job. Furthermore, I was actually being very understanding from the fact that I do not receive any annual bonuses or profit sharing from the company as well as the HEAVY workload (which feels like stones falling on me and caused massive headaches almost everyday) and gettiing the same pay as the backstabber who does NOTHING (just plainly inquiries and you tell me how many of these can you get per day?) and joined the company later than I do plus holding the same level of education as me.

Baby and others have been telling me that it is okay to quit and just pay the bond to the company since I am so unhappy. I have cried and confiding to Baby and my family members about this issue numerous times before I come to making the final decision. Therefore, I have finally decided after my lady boss did even more ridiculous things. One of my colleague whom I trusted, he told me that he heard my lady boss laughing and being very happy about it when the backstabber told her he thinks I am leaving the company. I mean is this how you treat the staff who has been there during the darkest period of your company and help to achieve the government certificate in order to survive in the private education industry? Well, and there goes my notice.

I was completely relieved after making my final decision. My occurring headaches have stopped and I don't feel stress anymore! However, things started to get more worse after my notice has been submitted. She started doing funny things and even treating me like a ghost (ignoring me and stuffs like that)! Talk bad about me behind my back etc... I mean you're the employer and shouldn't you be behaving like one? The contents on what she was making fun about me get worsen.

I kept quiet still and continue to observe. I began to note that she will normally not be speaking bad or making fun about me whenever her Husband (my CEO) is around. After working for two years, I know his character very well and he is a very upright person who has great morals. He is very forgiving and has never once lose his temper to any of us (except that backstabber) but he detests such things happening in the company. Therefore, I seized the perfect chance when nobody was in the office and told him everything. Of course I wasn't stupid enough to go and blabber bad things about his wife in front of him! And I know I have made the correct decision after speaking to him because I know he hasn't tell anyone about what I have said.  I am actually putting a bet to revenge on the backstabber and perhaps my lady boss a little though.

My Boss seems to be more concerned with what is happening in the office after I have brought those to his attention. He appreciates that I am willing to trust him enough to confide to him on these things and is looking at how he can resolve all of this without pulling my other colleagues who are secretly helping me into the waters. He understand how bad the backstabber is and I can see that there's a change in how he treats the backstabber.

At least I have done my part even if he does nothing which I strongly doubt so. If he really tells my lady boss about what I have said (which clearly he has not), it is not gonna affect me because it is also good that she knows that I am actually aware.

People tends to tell me it is easy to stay and endure. I am not that kind of person who can endure this kind of things at work. The workload is already piling so high up in my plate and yet I still have to entertain all of these? They do not know how difficult it is because they are not standing in my shoes to see or feel things. Perhaps they have never gone through such before?

Well, I wanted to say that I have gotten myself a job with the government. It is PSA at KTPH in Yishun and it is SO near my house. The pay is lesser by a bit but easy workload and I do not have to entertain such dramas every single day. I am exhausted.

Rant so much in a single post lol...

Anyway, I know i have already repeated this many times throughout my posts but,

I LOVE YOU :)
You have always been there for me whenever I am sad.
I have always glad that I have you by my side.
Without you, I will not be me anymore.
I don't know what I will become.
Please know that no matter how many years have passed, my heart will still only beats for you. Only for you.

I actually felt quite bad that I have very much neglected my blog!!!! ):<.

Note to self: PLEASE CHANGE BLOG SKIN!!!!!

Well, I was quite busy going through the motion of obtaining a driving license, diploma and with work!! For the first 3, I am really relieved to say that I have successfully obtained my driving license and the government has awarded a year edutrust license to my company!! My sleepless nights before the audit really paid off! Of course it is not only my credit and hardwork - all of the staffs in the company worked really hard to make it happen!! And I was SUPER relieved after passing my driving test. I swear I nearly passed out (i am exaggerating :p) after knowing the result. I was like madly poking my poor phone trying to call baby right after exiting the testers room! I was so happy that I have cried while elaborating to him on phone Hahaha. Must remember this forever!!

I will also be graduating from my diploma soon! My employers wanted me to continue my studies in degree... I have the intention to obtain a degree but it was like an effing 3 years program. I think i will die before the end of the degree program. And i am considering to rest for a year and concentrate in Korean language!!! I really want to master that language so that I am multilingual!!! Hahahaha.

And i am heading to Taiwan to celebrate my birthday with baby!!!!!!!! First time ever taking a plane.... Scary ah..... I am very afraid of height so i guess baby will definitely laugh at me lol.

Well! Till then :D

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.6

NOTE TO SELF: MUST BLOG SOON!!!!!!!!!!

For the whole of today my mood is just so bad.

First is because i am too stress with the fact that the audit for my work place is coming for our application for edutrust. There are really too many things to get prepared of and things that we need to get it implemented before the auditors come in to our school and breathe down our necks. And the best part is? Majority of the audit will concern me and i am going to be dead! Though the audit should be stepping closer in about a month time but I am still very troubled with it. Because of the audit i couldnt feel anything about my upcoming driving test!! Lol.

Secondly, there's this new lab manager (a caucasian lady).... Well i should say she's a very capable lady with a very strong personality and get bossy at times. She has been promoted to the position not long ago though. And my employer handed her a task to consolidate students information to create an internal 'Facebook' for our students. As i always keep a list of students information in my own excel spreadsheet to keep myself updated, she asked whether can i add a few columns for her internal Facebook thingy so that she can find the students data over. So yes i did that and today... She sent me an email telling me to copy and paste the students information in which she has highlighted in hard copies of class registers to a new spreadsheets where she can easily finds in my excel spreadsheet. And its like more than half of our total students.... She sounded like she was allocating a task to me when it was her responsibility to get this done. Moreover, she is going to be on leave for one week and just throw the task to me as if it was suppose to be mine. She can at least say 'sorry to trouble you' or ' thank you for helping me' to make me feel better helping her but nothing at all. And this task is so important she should have bloody complete it before she even goes for her fucking leave. So, i told my boss about it and he is really very kind and was not angry with her. He even offered to help me and copy paste the information. Lol.... So. I. Am. Abit. Speechless. Of course I'll do it and not trouble him cos he is busy enough from the audit. I mean like cmon la, who not busy right? Fuck!!!

Thirdly, while I was being low morale on the incident above, this new teacher (Caucasian again!!!) came to talk to me as she was going to leave the centre. Here's our conversation:

Teacher: Oh hi Shu En! I see that you're always so busy.

Me: Haha ya~ Cos of the new term and edutrust stuffs.

Teacher: Oh i see! Do you work on weekends?

Me: Weekends are my offday but will be coming tomorrow to help out.

Teacher: Ouh that's sad! Well, I noticed that Singaporeans always sacrifice their resting time and slog hard for their work or money. Most of them are willing to work on Weekends to earn more money.

Me: -Gave a surprised look- Erm i don't think all Singaporeans are same as what you've mentioned. For me, i value my rest time and i am Singaporean. I will come to work on my offday only if my boss needed help or due to some urgent stuffs. I don't agree to work for the money.

Teacher: Oh! That's a very good attitude.

Me: Haha thanks. But i just feel that shouldn't because of some living example that you know of then think all Singaporeans are the same.

Teacher: Ya of course! You're very right! (Gets a bit awkward)

I mean... She shouldn't like 一根竹竿打翻整船人right?

Well. That's all my rants today. And i miss baby!!!!!!!!!!!

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.4