Someone like you

The secondary one students from my class really deserve my special attention. They have no proper English teacher and I am their third English teacher so far. Therefore, I kind of see them as my own children – A happy bunch of kids who are still lively and nice to their English teacher despite being abandoned twice. I can't express how thankful I am to have been part of this welcoming class.



Sometimes, I wish that I never walked into this class because I feel that my presence will yet be another disappointment for them when I leave. However, I do not get to choose where I would go next, otherwise I do want to be able to stay with them until the end of the year and continue teaching them English and about things in life.



In class, I treat this bunch rather well, except for the occasional yelling when they go out of control. To keep time, I play a song or two and tell them their time ends when the song ends, instead of telling them they have 5 minutes left. When quoting examples or characters in my lessons, it will always be something funny related to the students in the class. If they win any chocolates, they get to eat it in class despite other rules advising me not to do so. Even summary writing can be about Twitter and the dangers of Twitter which is highly relevant to their lives.



It’s cool to get punished in my class, all one has to do is to embarrass him/herself by dancing to the moves of dance central on YouTube. If you are horrible and receive detention from me, I never really submitted your names to the discipline committee, but only accumulated the number of detentions you owe me so that one day when I can't stand you anymore I'll give it to you all at one go. Hahahhahaa.



However, no one knows that I love my classes (maybe except for 4e5), students have often made me so angry I have grown to become a monster at times. Yet, when I become this monster, no one really remembers what they have done wrong. They only remember how monstrous I can be.



No one understands what good things I've spoken about them behind the scenes, nor do people understand my efforts to make my classes more interesting than how the teaching materials want it to be. No one understands how I have rather taken a job that has paid me a monthly salary equivalent to an 'O' level graduate, rather than a job worthy of a person with an upper class honours degree.



So here, let me open up my heart and show you today what I have done for you.



Dear Mrs Thong,



I am writing to you because I have gone for the Post Graduate Diploma in Education (PGDE) interview at the Ministry of Education (MOE) on the 5th of April this year.



Although I have not received a letter of confirmation from MOE, I do sincerely hope that in the case whereby I am successfully offered a contract, I would be able to remain here as a contract teacher with Pasir Ris Secondary School until my school term with NIE begins in January next year.



My students once asked me with a dejected look on their faces, "Mr. Chong, will you be leaving us too? Is it because there is something wrong with us?"



Their dejected words broke my heart. There was nothing wrong with this adorable bunch of lively students from secondary one. Neither did they deserve to have the impression that they had done something wrong, and thus no teacher wanted to stay with them.



I may not be as experienced or as qualified as full time educators, but if given the opportunity, I will definitely work doubly hard to ensure that my students will learn as much as the students from other classes. I know that these classes that I am taking will eventually be matched with a full-time educator, but in the meanwhile, I hope that I can be there for them until the end of the year, and that they will not feel rejected like orphans again.



I believe that my command of English as a graduate with Second Upper Class Honours, majoring in Communication and New Media, from the National University of Singapore, will serve me well enough take care of the students for the next few months.



Please give me a chance to do my best for my students. I hope that in the case whereby I do get a contract offer by MOE, I can remain here and continue fulfil my duties to them.



Yours Sincerely,

Ashton

___________________________________________________________________________



Dear 1E3,



I hope that now you can understand my love for you.

Yet, last week you have taught me an invaluable lesson. A lesson that has let me down so much that I question myself why I struggle so hard to plead the principal to keep me in this school. This lesson has been a rude shock to my life, and all my beliefs in life.



All of my life, I have learnt that when everything else lets you down, or whenever there are disappointments in life, your friends will always be there for you.



Yet last week, your class has taught me the following lesson. The lesson goes like this:



"Students may disappoint, Friends will betray, but Diablo3/Dota will never let you down"



You must be thinking what rubbish or ridiculous words have just came out from my mouth. But this thought has been inspired by you



There used to be three best friends who hung out together wherever they went. Most of the time, I would see them together, sharing a seat by the piano and playing songs that to be honest, sounded hardly perfect. I never told them why I truly enjoyed listening to their music. It wasn't about what they played, how they played it, but it was rather endearing and a joy to see such a beautiful friendship amidst a place of stress and worries. Two of them would have their hands of the keys of the piano while sometimes the other would be an attentive audience to the music that they were playing.



After school, whenever I went to the canteen to get a drink or go for lunch, these three girls would always greet me enthusiastically, or wave at me from afar. In my mind, I thought that it was really heart-warming, that while I could not take care of these children anymore, these children would always have each other for company and support.



But sadly, I was wrong. On the 9th of May 2012, Wednesday, as I was watching all the other students of 1E3 play basketball, I noticed very depressive piano melody coming from the porch, the melody as usual, wasn't perfect. Instead, the melody was broken.



There she was, sitting by the piano alone, trying her best to play the same sad tune over and over again. She didn't get it right, but she tried and never gave up trying because there was nothing else she could do… or nothing else that she knew that could take her sadness away.

Perhaps it was a song they used to play together and she was trying to search for the same feeling again; she would never find it. Perhaps she was broken and really wanted to find someone like you. Yes, that was the name of the song that she played.



I was heartbroken by this sight and as I typed this note and recounted the image and sounds of that fateful day, disappointment and sadness has overwhelmed me totally.



When I have learnt in all of my life that when life brings you down, your friends will bring you back up, how could this group of friends turn their backs on each other so easily?

It is through my own personal observation and not the fault of any busybodies that had led me to realize that something wrong was going on.



I do not know what kind of words was exchanged on Facebook, neither do I know who's involved. But what I do know is that while some brave keyboard warriors have been proud and unashamed of being hurtful and mean with their remarks online, tears have been shed, hearts have been broken and friendships have been destroyed.



I also do not know why all of this has happened. I have heard that it all boils down to some incidences of jealousy, rivalry and bad attitude, but then again, all of these do not matter because I have been taught that when a friend starts to behave in a different or strange manner, there must be something troubling him/her.



If your friend is doing something to get more of your attention, give him/her the attention he/she wants. If your friend has a sudden change in attitude, talk to him/her and find out what’s wrong.

If your friend was moody, stay around a little more and do silly things to cheer your friend up.

Be forgiving and extra nice to this particular friend because this friend needs YOU the most. One day, if you fall into the same situation, I'm sure that your friend would gladly do the same for you.



Was that what you did?

As a friend, did you stay around for a little longer and do silly things to cheer her up? As a friend, did you ask her what's wrong and tell her you would be there? As a friend, did you give her more of your attention when she started to change?

Have you guys shown this broken girl who is trying her best to make new friends any kindness, friendship or support?

Is this really the class that I have fought so hard for to keep by my side? Am I here to teach you English or do I also need to teach you guys how to appreciate and protect your friends?


As I come to the end of my speech, all I want to say is that since that fateful day, I have never truly seen her genuinely smile again. All I see is a lifeless child trying to mind her own business in a corner. When she puts up a brave smile, all I see is sadness in her eyes.


To those who have written mean things or have been mean to her, I hope you are starting to feel bad after hearing what I have said. While all of you are ganging up in your cliques, continuing with your lives and laughing, someone you’ve hurt with your freedom of speech online is hurting deep within. Tears have fallen and are still falling, hearts and smiles have been broken, and friendships have been destroyed.

To the girls who used to be friends, every time I walked past the staircase below the examination hall, I would think back to the wonderful moments whereby you friends once shared laughter, a melody and your hearts with each other.

Don’t you girls look back at these memories and wish that it could be yours again?

How I wish I could hear the imperfect melodies of the piano that could make me smile, but I know that this wish would be so hard to come true.

If you girls still remember your once loving friendship, or occasionally think back of the past, won’t you just say sorry and please give your hurting friend a hug!

Goodbye everyone. If I don’t come back again, I wish you will learn how to take care of each other, and cherish your friendship so that if I can’t be here in future, you will at least have each other.



Love,

Your Teacher

Mr Chong