part of my past
i'm stuck in a stasis!
directionless, and just living life day by day without an objective.
i can't find much of a purpose.
if my father heard this, he would say, "ya, it's high time you carry out some self-improvement! Don't always let yourself hang in the air!"
yes, yes, i know.
i wish i knew what it is that i want.
like my brother once said,
it's true that it's better to not get what you want
rather than not know what you want at all.
and this is what Adolph Monod said,
"Between the great things we cannot do and the small things we will not do,
the danger is that we shall do nothing."
i think i have fallen prey to the danger of not doing anything at all.
perhaps that's why i feel like i'm stuck in some kind of a rut.
furthermore, my dreams never really stick.
in the sense that, you know how they always say that as long as you have a dream,
it's better than having none at all.
the thing is, my dreams keep changing!
how annoying.
i really wonder if it's possible to accomplish anything worthwhile when my goals keep changing.
like, one day, i want to open an amusement food theme park.
the next day, a legal consultant.
the third day, an artist just earning enough to get by.
the fourth day, doing something that is related to tourism and stuff.
yes, call my aspirations silly or whatever.
even i can't help but laugh and scoff at myself at times.
sigh.
in any case, i think the alevel results that are about to be announced might just change my direction in life.
come one or two weeks,
you may catch me either being very depressed, or extremely ecstatic.
yup, i can only imagine two extremes.
i wonder if i expect too much of myself sometimes.
at the same time, i get the feeling that there are a lot of people out there who think that i probably wouldn't make it.
and if i don't make it, it wouldn't be surprising at all.
frankly, i've never been so worried about results before,
and funny how i only realise the true importance of doing well for As only after the exams are over.
my folly, really.
so it just makes me wonder even more, which allows me to continually have these so-called 'visions' of my future.
will i be poor?
will i be happy even if i'm poor?
or will i be wealthy?
but unhappy?
shit.
sometimes, i really do think too much.
that's why really envy those people who don't have tendencies to think of such nonsense.
anyway,
i found this short read somewhere.
i think it's pretty neat (:
This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.
There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.
Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job.
Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.
It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anyone could have.
`
i wish you wouldn't be what my title says.
cos imy.
