the end descended like a frayed cloth kite
so this is the end, but it's really weird in a sense.
haha.
everyone probably thinks i'm the happiest out of this.
but i'm not.
i really do miss odac.
i have been missing it even though trainings were going on.
if you couldn't find the coherence in that,
what i meant was,
the odac that i miss was the one where everything was fine and dandy.
(mostly the beginning of it all).
however,
the recent odac with all its trainings is not the kind of odac that i miss.
i hope i made sense.
i don't know how this happened,
but like a kite that had its string snapped,
it got lost in the bitter wind somewhere along the way.
this kite - it was made of cloth.
& as the rain poured, it's spirits dampened.
it became heavy and it struggled to stay in it's imaginary blue sky.
it threatened to fall, to break - it frayed.
and alas, it descended to the ground in the blink of an eye.
it fell to its end in due time.
it ended all so fast that it seemed surreal.
i know the kite's there no more,
but whenever i walk under the sky,
i can't help but instinctively look up to the heavens to think i'd see the glimmer of that kite again.
nostalgia, longing, yearning, but a certain bittersweet gladness that it isn't there.
cos the sky is clear once more.
i needn't worry so often to look up and check upon the sky to make sure the kite's still flying.
the neckache from the checking is eased.
but it still lingers on now and then.
it serves as a remembrance, a memory, a vestige of the past.
& apart from this, i have to admit with candor that i feel hollow and forlorn.
i might not appear elegaic, but i wish my heart didn't feel so heavy.
it's insufferable.
makes me wish i had a more capacious heart, then maybe i wouldn't be so mirthless.
`but i know i have to get through this alone,
cos you're not here anymore
& i shouldn't expect you to..
on a lighter note, sports carnival tomorrow!
hope it goes well and not too violent.haha.
if you see 33, you'll (really) see.
