Venus and Mars

I've always known my two kids were different from each other. I actually have always really appreciated it - for their sake and for mine. It made parenting much more interesting and they complement each other really nicely. Kayleigh could sit in a room and read and color ALL day. Aidan MUST jump off the couch.

For those moms that have sons - BOYS with total physical energy, you know what I'm talking about. The never-ending boy energy that is exhausting just to watch, let alone try to parent through. I was freed the day I realized he wasn't jumping of the couch to annoy me - he HAD to jump off the couch. He needed that physical release. I've been a lot lighter since realizing that little piece of boy trivia.

Parenting an active boy is a bit like walking INTO a windtunnel - challenging, but pleasant. Cool. FUN. My little tornado has me wrapped around his finger - he knows it and everyone else does too. CJ, in one of his rare moments of annoyance with me, said, "if you are going to discipline him, you can't LAUGH!" I said, "I know, but look at him! He is so darn CUTE!" Aidan knows that too, by the way.

I digress.

The differences between my children. I could go on for days about their fabulous "uniqueness", however, I stood and basked in the moment today.

We went blueberry picking today. We have a favorite local farm that we visit several times per year to do all our "harvesting"...in the fall it is pumpkins, in the winter Xmas trees, in the spring/summer it is strawberries and blueberries (we go somewhere else for apples). Aidan's favorite by a mile are the blueberries. Now, this is not a fruit that he seems to crave any other time of the year. He doesn't request them at the supermarket and even when we have them at home, he will often choose another fruit above the blueberries. There is something about the blueberry fields that changes him into a blueberry fanatic. From the minute we disembark the "Berry Ferry" (yes, the cutsie name for the shuttle out to the field), my kid has his hands on the bushes and straight to his mouth. We laugh as we say, one for the bucket, two for the mouth, one for the bucket, two OUT of the bucket and into my mouth. It's a riot to watch.

Of course, the mother in me is wondering what that is going to do to his bowels for the next three days, but hey, what could 2 or 3 pounds of blueberries do? Great antioxidants I tell myself as I brace for a week of blue poop!

Again, I digress.

So, the moment today that really hit me was when Kayleigh was growing more and more concerned about the lack of berries going into the bucket and the number going into his mouth. "Stop eating them all!!!", she said. She, of course, (my little Type A mini-me) was concerned about accomplishing the task : FILL THE BUCKETS. We are here to pick blueberries. We will pick until we fill the bucket. We will then go home. We are on a mission. Please do not waiver from that mission as it really throws of my OCD! Truly.

"It's all part of the experience, honey.", I tell her. She is not soothed by this and he is not slowing down as his cheeks fill with berries. He ignores her and happily munches away. At this point, he has stopped contributing to the bucket filling at all and has totally turned his attention and energy over to the consumption side of things. Kayleigh frowns and continues to FILL THE BUCKET. CJ squats down at a bush in an attempt to fill up the bucket a little quicker as the 95 degree heat bears down on us. My beautiful boy looks at him, sits on his quadracept, blueberry bucket in hand, and says in the sweetest, most genuine little voice, 'What a great place for me to sit and eat my blueberries." (see picture).
I thought my daughter was going to fall over. Priceless.

Cliches

Cliches are cliche because they happen often enough to make them truths. My favorite these days is the one about how fast your kids grow up (you pick your favorite - "time flies", "in the blink of an eye..."). When I was pregnant with my first child, every wise parent told me, "Oh it just goes so fast and before you know it, you're dropping them off at college!" I always smiled graciously and thought to myself, "Um, that's EIGHTEEN years - I doubt that feels like an 'instant'!"
While it has not been 18 years, it has been 7 and I now know that the famous adage about the passage of time is most certainly true. Where have the 7 years gone? Much of them are lost in a blur of diapers and spitup.
Time is also not slowed by my precocious daughter who loves to talk about how old she's getting and how fast. "Ya know mom," she says, "in 6 more years, I'll be a teenager" or "Ya know mom, in 9 more years, I'll have a driver's license." Or my ALL-TIME favorite (OMG!) - "Ya know mom, in like 10 years, I'll be a MOM and you'll be a GRANDMOTHER!" My reply to this is always, "better make it 20 years, honey."
My mother is getting a kick out of this since she endured a similar time-traveler in her house. Every child has a line that they remember their parents saying to them over and over during their childhood. The line from my childhood was "be here now." I thought it was really dumb at the time ("where the hell else would I be, Ma?"), but like many other wise things my mother said to me, I find this line spilling from my mouth with my own offspring. (Note: the line is usually followed by a horrified 'oh my god! did I just say that?)
As I am writing this, she ran over to me and said, "I can't wait for THURSDAY!" No signs of this slowing down!
Yes, I admit I was a bit like this as a child, although I think I only got ahead of myself by one birthday, not 6. This careful planning of my future actually serves me pretty well as an adult while I plan for the future of our family and business. The only difference is I am now trying to make my birthdays go backwards!
So, my responsibility as a mom is the same as what my own mom tried to do. To help my daughter to appreciate her current state of being, to stop and smell the roses so to speak, to focus on today and making it all it can be, all this balanced with an appreciation that she does contemplate her future and what her life will be like. It is important for her to explore that. To wonder and to be excited about the opportunities that await her.

It is, like most other parenting issues, a high wire act.

I was never formally taught the craft of high wire walking. I had no training and most of the time there is no net. It is a high stakes game. What we do have to rely on are our instincts, the fabulous resources we have in fellow parents who have 'walked the wire' , the support of our families (this is the invisible safety net). At the end of each day, when we've made it across the wire and we gear up to do it all over again, we've learned a little more about it and found our footing a bit more today. Who knows, maybe in the near future, we'll be ready to try to ride a bike across the high wire!

For anyone wondering, the picture at the top is of me (probably around age 4 or 5) and Kayleigh is right below...maybe some of my genes are in there somewhere!
Much love.

Just when I thought I'd done everything right!

So, we've always been very proud of our bedtime routine. Until this summer (which has been a disaster in terms of bedtime times bc my kids have found every reason in the world to keep themselves up until 10 pm each night), my kids go to bed between 7pm and 8 pm each night. It is predictable and reliable and has been the same since they were born (it used to be between 6:30-7:30, but, hey, they're older now). We agonized as they cried it out according to the textbook techniques. We never had a family bed. They were in the bassinet in our room for about 6 weeks and then they always slept in their own beds. We worked hard at it and thought it would pay dividends - and it did, until recently.

In the last 6 months, my darling boy has taken to sneaking into our bed at night. I say "sneaking" because I actually saw him do it one night. It was carried out swiftly and covertly like a burglar in the night. He gently opens our door, taking great care to avoid any squeaking. He squats down like a catcher and proceeds to "squat walk" across my room to the bottom of my bed. We have a King size bed, so he gently crawls up in between us and buries his face in a pillow while his feet are at the edge of a blanket (imagine an upside down V). He then gently slides his feet under the blanket and slowly lowers his body so that he is now face-down, under the covers, in our bed, undetected. Most nights, I don't know he's there until I wake up in the AM and he smiles a sly, simply ADORABLE smile.

Yes, there are nights that we realize he is there. So, why not move him to his own room? Well, lucky for us, our son is the kind that once he's up, he's up and I fear an awake 5 year old at 3 am.
So, after all of our hard work, crying babies that tugged at my heart, routine establishment, and strict adherence to the routine, we are in the same place we would have been without it all - with a darn cute, irresistable, snuggle bug. Just goes to show that even with the best laid parenting plans, sometimes the kids have other ideas!

Much love.

Growing pains....

I've recently had to face a new parenting hurdle. Am I keeping up with my kids and their needs or I am trying to keep them young and innocent and unexposed? Professionally, I spend a great deal of time advising parents on how to "grow with their kids", how to give them some leeway, the ways in which doing so can improve their relationship with their kids. The difference is that we're usually discussing teenagers. So, you can imagine that I was a bit taken back when I realized I needed to do that with Kayleigh a bit. I realized this around a somewhat unexpected issue - TV shows. Kayleigh came home at the end of the school year and said that her friend had told her that she "watched baby shows". While my kids watch more TV than I'd like, we are proud of the fact that they have watched strictly educational programming - Sesame Street, Dora the Explorer, other shows on "Noggin" which promote skill and character development. I have fought against Hannah Montana, Suite Life, SpongeBob, Power Rangers, etc - NOT in my house. It didn't take too long to learn that no matter how "hard I parent", their peers are more powerful than I am. They still know every character and every storyline of shows they never watch in our house. So, here is the dilemma....
Kayleigh is now at the point where she can't contribute directly to these conversations about these shows and it is really starting to impact her self-concept. This really surprised me. I didn't anticipate her feeling "left out" over a TV show. I didn't anticipate her being picked on for what she watched on TV. For the first month or so, I said, "well, you're not watching those shows. They are not for 7 year olds." It then ocurred to me that I had never really watched the shows, I just couldn't picture my little girl watching them. I started to try to put myself in her shoes. Don't I often try to watch the popular shows or the season finales of things so that I won't be left out at the watercooler the next day? Same principle.
So, where I landed was that perhaps I needed to spend some time researching these shows and to adapt a bit to my daughter's changing needs. Even though these shows seem "old" for her, maybe it is me who needs to look at whether their storylines are more appropriate for her age - conflict resolution, peer interaction, etc. I remain steadfast on the "no bad language, no shows where characters bully or are mean, and no violence (hooray no power rangers!). Interestingly, she still wants the old shows too - she just wants to add a few to her repetoire. Seems fair.
So, this is me...loosening up and trying to see my daughter's point of view. I guess I didn't really expect to have to face this for a few years...I'll keep you posted on the evolution in our household as I long for the days Elmo and Big Bird!
Much love.

The last of the day...catch up...

OK, so now that I think I have proven that I am at least attempting to return to blogging, I'll provide some snippet updates on the family...

Kayleigh is doing awesome - entering 2nd grade. She is getting way too old, way too fast and I don't know how to slow it down. She said to one of our coaches (a 19 year old male, BTW), "If you are wondering why my voice sounds like a high schooler, it's because I am 7." WHAT??? Needless to say, my poor coach had NO IDEA how to respond to that one. UGH - I can feel the gray hairs. She amazes us everyday with her insight and sensitivity. She continues to have a hysterical sense of humor - no idea where she gets it. She can't wait for 2nd grade and has really missed the all-day interactions with her friends this summer. She has fallen into a really nice peer group (and I love the moms which is a huge bonus).

Aidan is our "little man"...his energy is endless and his smiles and laugh contagious. He is so freakin happy (I'll have what he's having!). He's entering Kindergarten in September, although in private school talk, that's called "Foundation". He found his first loose tooth yesterday which was a huge deal. He has excitedly celebrated his sister's 7 missing teeth. I don't think it ever occurred to him that it would happen to him too. He was genuinely shocked yesterday when he pulled on his bottom tooth and it wiggled. The look on his face was priceless - very big boy news!

CJ is working like a dog. There is a huge demand for private volleyball lessons with him and, in addition to our regular program offerings, it keeps him way busy. I wish I could take some of the coaching responsibility off of him, but I just can't (for obvious reasons). We are entering our 2nd week of camp next week with a 3rd week at the end of Aug. They are well-attended so that has been very rewarding.

As for me, I am just trying to enjoy my kids and husband, run the facility, and SWITCH jobs. Hoping that will be solidified in the next few days.

That's the brief update. I'll do my best to post as things happen.

Much love.

A picture - WOO HOO! The new "place" and more...

So, if you read my previous post, you will understand why this is a big deal. Yes, after my years of resisting, it took CJ about 3 seconds to show me how to insert a picture. I slowly said, "so, HOW do I insert pictures?" PAINFUL.

How do I catch up on the last 6 months. They have been very busy indeed. As many of you know, the craziest thing to happen in our family is that we opened a new 15000 SF volleyball facility in early July. This has led to a tremendous amount of joy and a tremendous amount of stress. We have been able to offer so much already, but the stress to pay the enormous rent bill is ever-present. That should subside a little in a few months, but for now, it wakes me up at night. This is no different than any other new business I suppose. So, on to the pictures that speak for themselves. I am including several "construction" shots. When we leased the building, it was a "build to suit" - nothing but four walls and a ceiling - no plumbing, no lights, etc. Everything custom. We met with the architect and explained our vision. 3 weeks and 2 days later, we had a Certificate of Occupancy. AMAZING. If only the whole world was that efficient...

Some construction pictures...


Some pics of the floor going down. This is "modular" flooring meaning it snaps together in one SF tiles. There is a 3mm compressed rubber underlay underneath which are the pictures that look like the floor is covered in tar paper. It took 5 of us nearly 8 hours to lay the floor (we thought that was pretty good!)So, that's the birth of the facility in a nutshell...all of the happenings, programs, and details of it are available on our website (you know, the one that has interfered with my blogging!) ....www.ctimpact.org...

Thanks to everyone we know and love for their support and enthusiasm during this adventure. It continues to sustain us...

Much love.

Excuses, Excuses, Excuses

So as I gleefully read all the happenings of my gorgeous twin nieces on my SIL's blog, I mused to myself....

HOW DOES SHE DO IT??? She is the new mom to active four-month old TWINS and she manages to update us all several times per week, and INCLUDE PICTURES!! I can't muster one post a year?? Pathetic.

So I found myself feeling rather pathetic and decided I should, yet again, attempt to maintain some semblance of a blog. I continue to tease my friends and relatives as I assure them that this REALLY is the time that I am going to be good about my blog...will you all humor me once more? =)

These are the excuses I have crafted for why my blog is so neglected:
1. I maintain an extensive website for our business and that's all the computer work I can muster.
2. My 90 work week just allows me no extra time.
3. Anyone who cares about my family happenings gets to hear my voice at least periodically.
4. I can't figure out how to post pictures and that makes for a very boring blog.
5. Aren't facebook and email sufficient?

I now must face the counterarguments to all of the above...
1. The website looks great! It tells people NOTHING about Kayleigh and Aidan (or even CJ and I for that matter!)
2. Isn't writing just what the doctor ordered to counteract the stresses of my insane work week?
3. I need to finally admit to myself that I actually suck at talking to people on a regular basis - I think my mother and my mother-in-la are the only ones that hear from me as often as they should (so sorry to all the other wonderful people in my life!)
4. OK, this one was the lamest excuse of all! My husband maintains a beautiful blog for his Science classes full of pictures, links, etc. My SIL is a whiz at this stuff and has offered to give me a tutorial. Not so good at asking for help, huh Meg? Gotta work on that one....
5. This would be a great excuse to get me AWAY from FB and email. Besides, several people that I love and care about haven't given into the FB Revolution yet!

So, here were are. I am resolved to do this on a regular basis. I'll tell my friends and family that I REALLY AM going to blog again to which I fully expect a chorus of eye rolls and "Yeah huh"s. Who can blame them? On to the better details.....
Much love.