Okay, I have to confess. I have not visited the dentist since I moved here....that's about 6 years in total. Eeeeekkkk...yes...well, the whole family DID go to see a dentist recommended by a co worker but this dentist was so pushy (he mapped out 2 years worth of dental work to us on our teeth, individually! Terus jadi takut seh!) that it took me an extra 2 years to brave myself to find another regular dentist. Okay okay, also, cos my tar tar has been building a metropolitan city in my gums that I knew it was time for that deep cleaning.

Hmmm, so today was the appointment. Xrays showed that my teeth are beautiful but the gums are so koyak (mangled). The dentist felt so menggeram when she saw my gums and tartar that she wanted to do half of the deep cleaning today. Ahemm, as we all know, here in the US, anything to do with dental work means insurance coverage PLUS money (not $30 but at least $80 and up) to do some work (actually, baru semalam aku beli baju kat internet, jadi tak boleh belanja lagi, laki aku tak tau!). I told the dentist, if it involves extra cost, we'll make another appointment. So there...I'll see her in 2 weeks, just because next Wednesday is the 4th of July holiday and the nation is closed for the day. Phew...at least could save some money for 'deep cleaning' and 'debrision' (what the heck is debrision man!!! I don't even know how to spell it). Koyak...koyak...my gums are in trouble!

The dentist also warned me that after the 2nd treatment of deep cleaning, I HAVE to come see her every 3 months until my gum shows no signs of swelling, floss and floss and more floss.

Anyway, 4 hours later, my gums are still hurting from her taking my gum measurements. She prodded, poked poked and poked the gum on each and every tooth. Painful...heck yeah!!!But it's almost dinner time and I cannot pass makan time or baby would not get milk.

In the meantime, the boss came to visit my office today. I was discussing with him, trying to reason out with him why I might not want to work with him...but I lost. He put some nice ideas into my head, that I might afterall move back to the big office and work for him. BUT...it won't be till at least when he finds someone to run the office that I am working at now (remember? He can't find anyone with multi skills to take over me?) so we're stuck like a duck he says.

This Friday will be the 4th of July Potluck for my office. Everyone's excited, first potluck since we opened this office. Spaghetti, pizza, salad, garlic bread, pie...and more!

No story of Suraya this time...sorry. I promise the next post will contain Suraya materials, hehehe.

This year will be the first year Kakak Mas will be spending summer by herself....without her brother with her that is. The summer for her started pretty sluggish this whole week as all that she ever wanted to do was stay home, watch tv, laze around in the house doing nothing...not even to clear the clean dishes from the dishwasher.

So I have a planned mission for her. To go to the Park and Recreation center where she can be a teenage volunteer all this summer and also to take up classes. So she will start her Park and Recreational volunteer this Monday (its time for her to 'give back' as she and her brother was taken care of by the volunteers past years) and she will be registered for either writing class or photography class (which she has requested).



Well, the reason for be wanting her to get out of the house this whole summer is so that her life does not change even when her brother is not here to be with her, play baseball with her and go to the Park and Recreation with her. I also do not want her to stay at home, be a mush brain and then feel depressed just cos she does not have a sibling her age anymore to do stuff that she loves to do.

Sometimes I wonder, does anyone in the other side of the world REALLY CARES of how my big girl feels? Do they REALLY CARE that her brother and her had grown together? Do they REALLY CARE that she does get lonely and does have feelings?

Kakak Mas went to a girlfriend's house today and we just picked her up. Oh how she misses her little sister so much. She grabbed Suraya and wouldn't let her go. Even tried to dress Suraya in her little pajama...but to no avail...budak tuh banyak sangat mengernyam!

Well, at least we know now that Kakak Mas' summer will be fruitful. She is going to the movies with her friends tomorrow and there will be no turning back in the next 2.5 months!

Phew...ibu is now relieved!




In the meantime, this milk mama is still breastfeeding. Suraya is touching 7 months next week and mama is still feeding and pumping at work. My co workers keep asking me how long I will be doing this...hmmm, maybe till she's one. So if they can't find me in the office, they know that I am busy pumping! I am still loving every moment of breastfeeding and I am not ready to 'break' the bond.




Tomorrow's my day off yeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaa!!!! Happy long weekend to me!!!!

June 22nd, I have decided to take the day off! Yeaaahhh…why am I so happy? Cos I have not taken any day off since I came back from maternity leave.

A lot of things happened since I came back, workwise and at home too. Do you believe that sometimes your body can only take that much and then it starts to kinda 'shut down'? Not that I have been feeling sick but my body aches!

Everyone here has been taking leave especially during this summer time. Since this year my family is not going anywhere special this summer, I did not have a reason to take time off…except June 22nd. I would need that break…to spend time with Kakak Mas as her summer break will start next week and Suraya's 6 months checkup is on that day too…4 jabs for that day!

Mak says that she will come back in July. But she has to leave in October, lepas raya as she has to go for minor cataract operation. I know that mak misses her grandkids here and she is counting the days to get back here.

In the meantime, tomorrow will be Kakak Mas' last day of school before she starts a new school year this fall. Received here report card...all A's with a B for Science and GPA of 3.85! EXCELLENT!!! I am very proud of you Kakak Mas.

Can I divert a little? …..

This year would be my 6th year living in America…also will be my 6th year in this wonderful marriage. A lot of things had happened in 6 years. From a whole family to having my son living somewhere else, away from me, to having a baby while my family is broken into fractions of a whole.

I have achieved a lot in 6 years. Knowing that you have a loving and loyal husband, knowing that you have a loyal daughter, knowing that even your closest relative can be the cause of your deep down hurt, and knowing that in order to live away from home I need to stand on my own 2 feet and stand firmly.

I do not regret leaving home for a new life or a more revived life. We learned to be self sufficient and rely upon each other and noone else for comfort and advise. Learning to trust each other.

I am very thankful that I still have part of my family to share and build happiness with. To know that my baby relies on me 200% to be happy. And my hope for my kids who are living with me. LOYALTY….I do not need their money or anything else but just loyalty to their parents. And I shall pray for that…until I die.

I was taught by my ustazah when I was young and I still remember this…"When a mom is hurt by their son/daughter…and the son/daughter happens to be you, just imagine that everytime a mom is hurt, the clouds up there will start to rage thunder and lightning. Just pray that the lightning would not strike upon you." Hati ibu seperti kaca, jangan sampai kita derhaka.

Anyway, enough said. Its beautiful out there…glad I have my new sandals on!

Okay, okay, here I am updating my blog...as per request from Adiejin.

Alot but nothing much happened last week (am I not making sense yet?). Alot as in, I am still doing too much things at a time at work and in the meantime juggling having a baby at home...nothing, as in, nothing REALLY eventful happened last week, besides having to apprehend a co worker for leaving her safe key in the safe when she left for the day (whats the use of a safe then?) and me becoming a punching bag to my boss and semi puching bag to the husband.

I am beginning to like my new position now. Things have settled with the new office. Everything and everyone is in the groove of things. Everyone starting to 'gel' now...getting along, understanding each other and learning to communicate in this small office.

I like the idea of being able to run the office without a manager lurking around (though sometimes we have the insurance manager who came in just for a few minutes to see (or spy eh) how things are running) and apart from that, things are very cool now.

I get compliments from my peers saying that I am a team player and not the kind of person who 'says but does not do' kind of person. Sure, I can be bossy (heck, yes I do get bossy..the janitor hates me, the project managers hate me, the real estate people is beginning not to like me) but I also know that I am part of my peers' team in the office. I step up and open an extra service counter when theres help needed, I stock up the map machine and I even clean a co workers desk just cos it was super messy beyond believe and maybe this will open his eyes to see that his mess bothers me.

And then the idea of working for my boss again, came into my head. I have worked so hard to be in this position, learned the operational tasks and mastering them and then learning to lead 9 other staff...it surely was a long ride for me (well, took me 6 months to get trained). If I were to work with my boss again, I would lose my skills. What if the company restructures again and my boss gets deployed somewhere else? I do not want to be the last person knowing what to do when this happens. As much as I would love to work for him directly, I think this time, I would have too much to give up if I were to do that. I might be aiming for another position in 6 months or less and the skills that I have learned would be the ultimate point to get it (no no...not a managerial job, that word scares me! I can do their tasks but don't like to be called one yet).

In the meantime, mak is itching to get back here. But she is still going through some health checkups and I want her to be able to ensure that she is super duper well enough to come here and live with us again. We all miss her here...very very much!!!

Suraya and daddy David has bonded so much that they are inseparable...well, until I come home from work and weekends hehehe. The daily walks during lunch that the husband does with Suraya has helped them to socialize. Daddy with the other 'stay at home' daddies (especially at the beach) and baby with other kids. Kakak Mas has been the professional babysitter. There are times when paps needs to have time to hmself and needs her help, she has always been willing to jump and help to care for her little sister...with a fee, well, we pay her extra on top of her allowance to babysit (who wants to make money? come see us hehehe).

Oh and another exciting thing happened to me last week. Received a good amount of 'rewards' bonus from the company. Redeemed it as Amazon gift certs, bought 3 pairs of shoes...nice? NICE!!!

Have you guys tried Vanilla Latte? Tastes like Caramel Macchiato w/o the caramel. Sugar Free Vanilla Latte...try it if you get the chance...power beb!

Lastly, picture of the blog...Kakak Mas and the 'menggeram' Suraya... she just turned 6 months 2 weeks ago!

Saturday night...what am I doing still up? Maybe taking a breather, after putting Suraya to sleep and updating my blog. Somewhere in this neighborhood, there's a party going on...and I mean party like you see in the movies, loud music so that the whole block could hear. But this party is a latino party. I can hear the 'bunny hop' tempo blasting. How to sleep like this???

Last week was a short week for us. Cos it was the Memorial long weekend. Wasn't as crazy busy as before as one of our co workers came back from vacation (as I do not have to cover her underwriting task). But in turn, one more co worker went on vacation and another broke her leg. For a small office of 9 people, not having 2 can turn into a disaster...but everything turned out okay.

Remember my last posting wishing that I would go back to my old office and handle the management's projects and I am not enjoying managing an office? Well, the boss called and said that he is trying to figure out how to bring me back to the office to work with him again. Hmmm...seems like I am truly indispensable to him eh? But then, he will have to find someone to manage that office to take over me, which is hard cos again, noone's as smart as me hahahahaha!!! Anyway, I told him to please make it work, I can help pick the right candidate on who could do my job so that I could go back to my old office.

You guys might think why I am passing up this opportunity of managing an office? Hmmmm...you know, I know that I am a leader and can be a good one too, but sometimes I do not like the idea of acting as a manager (who gets paid $30k more than me per year...we have 3 managers, my boss is the Head of Manager) but not paid like one. Not that I would want to be a manager. I am not power hungry. With just being a new mother again, I cannot, I repeat, cannot take as much pressure like when before I had my baby.

Who knows, someday, when Suraya is maybe a few more years older, I might be a 'go getter' again.

In the meantime, Suraya is learning new tricks now. Besides weighing close to 18lbs, she can flip like coin many times over, can 'tripod' sit and now is beginning to flip one of her legs, sitting like a frog. Maybe she's learning to crawl? I don't know, this little girl is full of surprises.

Here's me and her, taken today.