GI Jane reporting...

Today's my third day of the South Beach Diet (I shudder everytime I say the word 'Diet'…scared to fail!).

1st day - Very depressing. The diet consists of ZERO carb and ZERO sugar including no fruits for the next 2 weeks. Mid morning and mid noon snacks are encouraged to prevent the dieters from getting hungry (or to deprive them from food!). Since I started this diet on impulse, I did not get myself prepared for the mid morning and mid noon snack.

So I went to work on that Monday, with the black Monday mood, feeling hungry cos I only had an omelette for breakfast (no tatter tots nor cereal!), and by lunchtime, I was so hungry, I wolfed down last night's grilled chicken and salad. But…I was not filled up, my tummy was still hungry. Aiyoh…I felt like giving up. Cannotlah so cannot! I need more! I need carb man carb…or ice cream! Then came 3.30 pm, yes I was ready to growl! 'Self control Ely, self control!'…I kept telling myself. According to the book, I can have celery with light cheese (I didn’t have that) but I could have 20 peanuts. Fine then, 20 peanuts. Dinner was no problem, steamed salmon with broccoli. Sugarless mint for dessert.

After dinner, I dragged the dear husband to the supermarket to get what I would need for my mid morning and afternoon snacks. Hmmm, Laughing Cow light cheese, a can of mixed nuts to start with.

Side track sikit : I was grumbling to my twin for not being able to eat carbs, no sugar, nothing! But she kept saying 'It's just the 1st day Ely, you can do it! Try 2 weeks and see lah'. Again, without her, memang lah Ely would be eating donuts now!

Day 2 - I weighed myself (for record purpose). Came to work feeling happy. It was Tuesday to begin with, the sun was up and beautiful and Ely's ready to continue her mission. Got my Laughing Cow Light cheese and can of nuts for the snacks (good to know that I wouldn't starve!) and last night's cut of salmon for lunch.

I have to tell you this, the cheese that I had for mid morning snack (without the celery tho), was enough to stop my tummy from grumbling. One wedge of the cheese and I was fine. But then I decided to give my salmon cut away to my co worker and had a full bowl full of salad instead (just realized that spinach salad does make your teeth feel funny!). Yummy! Since I eat salad almost everyday anyway, this time I changed the dressing to low fat dressing like Balsamic Vinegar or Light Ranch. Cashews and almonds (15 in total, yes someone laughed at me when I was counting them) for mid noon snack, by the time I got home, I was not that hungry. So I had done something right this time! Dinner was steak with a huge quarter of cabbage.

The husband was 'humphing' at me for being so difficult with my meals now. No sugar, no chilli and bbq sauce (unless it has no sugar), no corn, no potatoes and no canned veges (they contain sugar, we just don’t know). So I had to give him a copy of 'what not to eat' so that when he goes shopping, he would know what to do.

Day 3 - I have this stupid habit of touching my tummy before I get off bed every morning. Call me stupid, but I just want to feel if I am getting smaller or bigger. Didn’t feel that buldgy except for that 'post birth' sag. I feel lighter and I feel great. I tell myself not to step on the weighing machine everyday but I think I can feel the difference already. Not much, but I don’t feel bloated (and I am serious).

Its not the end of the day yet. After 3 days of doing this, I think I am going to go ahead with this diet. Never say die, keep trying (I am just cheering myself, please don’t mind me). I know losing weight is for my own health and noone else's. I just wish that my beloved husband would take this diet with me so that we could encourage each other (hear that husband?).

I am suppose to be on this no carb and no sugar diet for 2 weeks. After that, I would go to Phase 2, reintroduce the carbs and sugar, until I reach my weight goal. After that comes Phase 3. I am not sure I will ever get to Phase 3, or should I say, I would not reach my weight goal? Hmmm, too early to say. I am taking it day by day. I have always been on the 'meaty' side so I might just have my own weight goal!

So thats Ely doing her South Beach Diet. GI Janes, lets go!

Buku oh buku...

I have to admit that I have not been reading too many books since time began. Maybe because I relied too much on the internet (e-books, e-magazines) to get my reading done for the day.

The kids have their mandatory reading of at least 30 minutes everyday. So in order to feed their 'habit', we bring them to the library and borrow up to 10 books each every 3 weeks.

I told the husband that its about time for us to buy them more books. Start of a new school term, maybe re stock their sotry books. We have gotten Mat his Harry Potter book from eBay and we owed Mas a trip to the bookstore. Borders or Barnes & Nobles? Barnes & Nobles it was because the store is closer to our house.

I have to confess that as soon as I got there, I went berzerk, squealing quietly with delight. Books…glorious books! They look new, they smell new! I guess I neglected my daighter and asked her to look for her own books while ibu tried to make her own selections of books. Ehhhh, nak yang ini, nak yang itu…I had 3 books in my arms in 5 minutes.

When I went back to the children's section, Mas was going crazy like me, the husband was holding her selection of books and she shrieked 'Ibu, I am giong crazy! I don’t know which ones to pick!'. Of course I shrieked as well and said,'I know, isn't this great?'. So the husband told us that Mas could get 2 books and one for me. Grrr…contemplate…which one to forgo? Which one do I need to read eh? Ish…I hate making choices…I want them all.

So…this is the book that I picked …

The husband laughed at me when I picked it. He said that no way I am going to go through Phase 1 of this diet without having a relapse. Takper, I shall not be dampened by his remarks. I have the GI Janes to harden my spirit. Nazrah has been doing pretty well in convicing me. That I can do it. Try 2 weeks first and see how it goes. Thanks Nazrah, I Rab You!

Oh and everyone must be wondering about my night stand kan? Shhhh…they're all gone! Don’t ask who finished them as I shall refuse to answer! The snacks have been substituted with Reader's Digest magazines but the green tea stays.

This diet was originated in Miami Florida and comes in 3 phases. The 1st phase is the ultra strict one…no carbs, zero sugar including fruits. Phase 1 is for 2 weeks. So, let me go through Phase 1 safely before I explain how Phase 2 works ok.

Back to Barnes and Nobles…this sudden addiction to books has re lived! I am going to the store again this Saturday to get the other book that I have been eyeing for. Books rule babeh!!!

The next book...

Till death do us part...

"I, Bride, take thee, Groom, to be my wedded husband. to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part.”


The vow was said on our civil wedding ceremony on a fateful day in San Francisco (to legalise the marriage in the US after the nikah in Singapore). Ohhhh, that time, the world was so nice and kind to us. The birds were chirping, everyone was smiling and tears rolled down our cheeks at the end of the ceremony.

Yea yea, that was then, some almost 4 years back. When the honeymoon was about to begin, when the bank and credit card accounts were not merged to both our names and before everything became community property.

During the courting and honeymoon period, when the wife goes shopping and had to carry a shopping bag, the husband would rush and say,’ ‘No dear, let me carry it for you’. And when the couple was on the car, the husband would say ‘Go ahead, pick whichever radio station or cd that you would like to play’.

Hah…some 4 years later, what was that again? That’s when the moon is not as sweet as honey anymore. Love is embedded in the husband and wife and however bad your habits are, you husband/wife would not leave you just cos of a stupid habit of burping in front of your spouse.

Anything can be a substance of argument. From a messy room (the laundry basket is right there dear, why lah you still dump the socks right next to it!) to the food that your spouse cooks on that fateful night. The bed space can also be a cause for a huge rift if not tackled properly. How about those cd’s? The truth has to be told that the husband and wife do not share the same kind of music.

But the good part is that, we still love our spouses no matter how much they have changed physically over the years…more grey hair, more weight or wrinkles on the face. That spouse would still be our intan payung buah hati kan? Dah habit dia macam mana buruk pun, its our other half and we love the spouse like before. Not an ounce lighter.

Well that’s marriage life, for richer, for poorer, for more botak or more weight, till death do we part.

The neonates...

The summer vacation is almost over. I feel that the kids have had an awesome summer.

They made new friends at the summer program, they had friends over to our house for lunch and dinnner on any day and I get to meet their friends. You see, I am like a big kid too, I love communicating with kids, especially the kids' friends. The thing is, they tend to treat themselves as adults and try to speak like they know everything in this world. From boy/girl relationship to cellphones to movies. OK, part movies tuh memang lah I am so behind (Ely still in her 80's Grease, Pretty in Pink and the Godfather Trilogy era) but apart from that, I can get along with the kids' friends just fine. Sometimes I control the conversation by talking more than them, teasing them and advising them that boys don’t rule the world (sorry husband).

Sometimes, the 'party' gets to be so good that my daughter would tell me to stop being cool cos it will make her uncool. But I always tell my daughter the reason why I hang out with her friends is because I love her and her friends and as long as they, including her, enjoy my company, there is nothing for her to be embarrassed about.

I think the kids are going through a phase of them being embarrased over whatever their parents do. They get embarrased when I way 'woof woof woof' and 'GO MAT, TAKE THEM HOME' when Mat batted a triple in baseball, Mas gets embarrased when I yelled 'GO MAS get that ball!' when she was playing soccer or when I start to make their friends laugh, they say that I was being silly. Sigh…maybe they feel that parents are to be seen and not heard? Now wait a minute, shouldn’t that be reversed?

Since the kids are going to two new better schools next week, I am very excited for them, to make new decent friends and taking them home so that I could feed and entertain them! According to the schools' statistics, most of the students are filipinos and tiny bit of hispanics with even tinier bit of white americans, that’s our life in Daly City, California, love them filipinos!

The kids also received their State Examination results last week. Yup, they did pretty well alright. Masturah scored 'higher average' on Math, English and Science (only 3 subjects rated) and Mat scored 'higher average' on English and 'Advance' in Math (only 2 subjects rated). I am very happy that the kids are growing and becoming useful and intelligent kids.

I am very proud of you Masturah and Abdul Mathein…don’t stop in making your parents proud OK!

*this is the GOOD side of parenting. I shall keep the OTHER side for later postings!

One night stand...

Yup, that’s my nightstand, decorated with my comfort food.

1. First, my chocolate malt balls which are oh so sedap. They were on sale...2 for $3. So, one box for the kids and the other for the husband and I.

2. My dark chocolate and my Fruit and Nut bar of chocolate. Again, on sale, 99 cents per bar, cheap kan? But puh lees don’t get me wrong. I don’t eat them all at once, just one tiny piece per night. OK OK, sometimes 2. .

3. My magnetic anklet that I bought at Old Sacramento cos firstly, its blue, secondly, its on impulse. I still love it!

4. To add to the irony (or should I say 'to CONTRADICT my diet regime', see that mug? That’s my diet green tea, hoping that it would melt the oh so tidak chocs out of my system by morning!!!!!!!!

5. Starbucks card, which has been sitting there for almost 4 months, with only 25 cents left I think? Jadilah, buat bayar the whipcream that tops the frappucino hehehe.

6. The birth control pills (no shame, we all know what its used for). Oody, don’t ask me, boss belum kasi green light to stop taking them!

Now now, in order for me to be successful in my diet, I would have to ‘clear’ my night stand kan? Hmmm, its going to be hard and emotional. I know that I have 2 options, #1, to move them chocs to the husband’s side of the bed, #2, to let the kids eat them chocs until they’re gone! I know that I MUST get rid of them.

I might have to change the stuff on my night stand to healthy stuff like fruits, more green tea, water and vitamin tablets. Or how about a Reader’s Digest magazine, the remote and my pair of glasses?

I will give you the update when I have made a total makeover of my nightstand ok!

*I want to see Nazrah's stash next!!!

The Dancing Baby

Did you remember this baby? I am a fan of Ally McBeal and I can so remember the episodes when the baby first came. It was so funny! I still will not stop laughing when I watch the reruns with the babies.
For those who are not familiar with the dancing baby, here’s how it came about in the series of Ally McBeal.

For full effect, when you’re done reading this, click on my music player and watch the baby dance, hehehe….

Dancing Baby, The - Tiny pink-skinned baby in a diaper seen on episodes of the legal comedy drama ALLY MCBEAL/FOX/1997-2002. The ghostly Dancing Baby frolicked in front of female attorney Ally McBeal during times of stress or introspection. The baby called "Mr. Huggy" (a.k.a. "Baby Cha-Cha") by Ally) was the living embodiment of Ally's biological clock come to haunt her. It once threw a spear at Ally (Freudian symbolism?). Her psychiatrist Dr. Tracey Clark, advised her to give the baby a kick in the patootie the next time it manifested itself. Mr. Huggy's visits were accompanied by the Ooga-Chaka sounds of the song "Hooked on a Feeling." It first appeared on episode No. 12 "Cro-Magnon" and resurfaced on episode No. 18 "The Playing Field." The Dancing Baby was originally discovered on the Internet and used on a number of TV spots including Blockbuster Videos commercials. The 3D Studio Max and Character from Kinetix (Ron K. Lussier 3D Artist/Animator) originally created the Dancing Baby for demo files that shipped with the product. The Ally McBeal "Net Dance" files were done by Encore Video and Liquid Light.

Mak & bapak..the AFTERMATH

So…the family has somewhat recovered from moping around without my parents. Life has gone back to normal. The fridge is empty, the stove is empty and the dining table is oh so EMPTY!!!

That’s OK, back to basics, cereal for breakfast and baked chicken for dinner. We all need to go on our diets too cos mak had done severe physical damage to us (the cats included! Mak had been feeding the cats real beef and chicken to them.).

The day after mak and bapak left, the house is calm, quiet, a little gloomy and again….EMPTY! What can I say, mak had been making goreng pisang for breakfast almost everyday and epok2 in the menu all the time. The mee rebus, mee goreng and nasi lemak were the habitual menu which we all did not complain…all I said to mak was ‘Masak jer mak, jangan takut, mesti habis punya’ and I did not lie about that.

But how easy it was to make my tummy feel or at least having the illusion that its getting smaller again. Minus the nasi and the goreng pisang and also the epok2, it helps in my ‘back to dieting’ plan. Remember, I am just ‘planning’ and not yet into it. Maybe tomorrow, Monday, I could be cruel to myself again by starving. Mentioned to Nazrah about South Beach diet…no carb, no fruits, just meat and veges. Hmmm, my Assistant Manager lost 15 lbs in 4 weeks, if she could do it, so can I. BUT, again I told nazrah that I cannot (oh so tidak) to not eat at least a teeny piece of chocolate in a day. Noooooooo………but I have to try. I will have to clean my bedside table when the chocs are, and I have to clean my office drawers, where the M&Ms are. Sigh….big step for me!

Back to mak & bapak. Maybe there’s the good and bad part of them coming here and then leaving us. The Good : To let us go back to our calm life, to stop overfeeding us and let us concentrate on the kids. The kids have one more week before they start their new term, school supplies have been updated, baju dah terbeli (thanks to their grannies) and kasut dah beli dah (thanks to their grannies again). The husband, so that he could put more of his clients’ auctions on ebay and make more mullah. The Bad : As for me, back to the 5 day work week and no more Fridays off to go jalan2. No more asking mak to comb my hair for me and making breakfast for my friends and No more waking up in the morning and smelling mak’s masakan….waaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

I miss you mak & bapak. Glad you’re home safely now, Don’t worry about us, we’ll live without your delicious cooking and maybe after we lost 10 lbs, please come again and fatten us up for the winter.

To my friends, gaining back the 6 lbs is not a laughing matter. Tapi takkan ku give up. Aku akan terus mencuba untuk membuang sisa nasi lemak dan epok2 yang tersergam di pinggulku! *Imagine Ely saying that with her arms high up in the air, her fist clenched, gritting her teeth….with a Krispie Kreme Doughnut in her other hand*

Oh Don Uhts!

I do not know what's with Krispy Kreme Doughnuts but we all love them! They are not like ordinary doughnuts...

The lovely light dough, the sugar glaze, the warmth of them when they're freshly baked, and the aroma, oooohh...sedap!

Whenever we go to the Krispy Kreme store, we get to see how the doughtnuts are made. Ooohhh, like they're waving at us, asking us to wait at the end of the line so that we could eat them fresh!

My parents are heading back to Singapore in 1.5 hours. Guess what they're going to hand carry for 21 hours? Yeah babey...the doughnuts!!! Of course, I tumpang sekaki pun. Dah mak beli, anak mesti nak rasa kan?

Hmmmmmm...at least that will take my sadness away for the time being.

Ely is back

...for now.

Its Thursday and I think I have missed my blog friends enough to start blogging again.

I am still not over my beloved cat, Taco. I still feel guilty for not being able to care for him as I had promised him 3 years back. He will still be in my heart and I know that he is in a better place.

Yes, a whole month is almost gone. My parents are going back tomorrow night. And YES, it’s the emotional 24 hour period again. I feel guilty for living far away from my parents and taking the kids away from them. And I feel so sad…that I won't see them for at least another 6 months or so. Mak says that she will try to come here again in December. I don’t want to get too excited yet. But for sure, Ely will balik kampung next summer.

Work is crazy as usual, boss flew to the gulf last night. Dapat jugak berbual dengan dia before he flew off. Hopefully he will come back to work in December as promised. Then working life can go on as usual. In the time being, I will have to endure my 'lovely' lady Assistant Managers yang kekadang aku rasa aku lebih mengetahui perihal ofis ini dari mereka.

The kids have been successfully transferred to a better school in the School District. It was good news to us but bad news to them as they're going to miss their friends and start making friends all over again. But I can promise them that they will be much happier in the new schools. Better environment, happy spirits.

School starts in less than 14 days. Matt will be in 8th grade and Mas in 6th. Yes, they have grown. Since they don’t wear uniforms to school, clothes shopping is another chore that we dread besides food shopping.

That’s it for now. Our last supper with mak and bapak will be at the Thai Restaurant. Ely will be a total wreck again tomorrow. Cos she has to hand her parents back to her sister and nieces who're on the other side of the world…waaaahhhh!!!

*like my new song?

This blog is on...

My cat, Taco, passed on yesterday.

This week has not been an easy week for me...I need some healing time.

To all my blog friends, take care, and I shall return before you know it.

I have left a song for you to listen to.

Goodbye Michael

We received news on Monday morning that one of my former co-workers passed away after 2 years of battling with luekemia.

Michael McKenna was one heck of an irish boy, who worked as a sales representative at our San Francisco office. Being overweight and tall, he was loud too and loved teasing others with his obnoxious comments. We loved having him around so much, when he wasn’t in the office, the place get eerily quiet.

One day, some 2 years back, Michael was complaining that his foot was in pain. We teased him and told him that maybe cos he was overweight and some said that he had gout. He was screaming and said,'Oh be quiet, I'll be fine!'. The next day he went to Stanford Medical Center for a Dr's apppointment and never came back. Dr found out that he had acute luekemia. He went through chemotherapy and he looked fine the first 6 months. He even came to visit, didn’t lose a pound and was the same ole Michael.

But his health went downhill after that. He was in and out of the hospital, was in coma once and he lost about 150 lbs.

He left his 2 year old son Aidan and his beloved wife, Maria. I feel for his son, too young to know where his dad has gone to. Too young to know what sorrow is. A few days before he passed, he was talking to my co-worker, Ann over the phone. He said,'I really will not be able to see Aidan grow up. I am such a disappointment.' but Ann said, 'But you can be his guardian angel. You might not be physically here but you spirit will always be here with him.'

We're going to his funeral wake tonight. The funeral will be held tomorrow morning. Half of the office is going to be empty.

Need I go further? I am even weeping as I am typing this. It’s a self reflection on my life. Knowing that your life is going and normal and then one day, it can turn around and change.

Rest in peace Michael McKenna, we will remember you always.

McKENNA, Michael Vincent - Passed away at his residence in Millbrae, CA, on August 7, 2005, at age 34, after battling Leukemia for a year and a half. Beloved husband of Maria Patricia McKenna for six years. Loving father of Aidan McKenna who is 21/2 years old. Dear son of Vincent and Georgina McKenna. Dearest brother of Lisa McGoldrick (Ronald) and Fiona McKenna. Survived also by numerous other relatives. Michael was born in SF, and lived all of his life in Millbrae, CA. He was an avid soccer player and Glasgow Celtic supporter. Michael's wishes are for everyone to live strong and never give up. A Funeral Mass will be celebrated at 10:00am Thursday, August 11, 2005 at Our Lady of Angels Church, 1720 Hillside Drive, Burlingame. A Vigil service will be held at 7:00pm Wednesday, August 10, 2005 also at the church. Interment is at Holy Cross Cemetery, Colma. In lieu of flowers donations in Michael's memory to the Lance Armstrong Foundation of Lemon Aid Foundation.

Published in the San Francisco Chronicle on 8/9/2005.

Honey, I Blew Up the Kids!!!

How much I sometimes loathe grocery shopping. It wasn’t like back home when we could just go to kedai mamak and get spices, fish and meat at the nearby market.

We do grocery shopping at least once a week, sometimes more if we didn’t buy enough essentials for a week or two. Since the kids have grown so much and they bring lunch to school, believe it or not, we can fill up 2 carts of groceries easily, from milk and cereal to their sweatshirts. If we go to Walmart, we tend to start from the kids underwear to their dessert for lunch (like chocolate jello). If we go to Costco, then that’s where we get jumbo sized cereal boxes, 2 big bottles of milk and a huge bag of lettuce, on top of many others.

Our typical shopping habit would be, 1st to Costco or Walmart, then to Trader Joe’s for the husband’s American pasta and other condiments that he needs and then to the asian market, where I get my Baba’s curry powder and other asian stuff. Did I forget to mention about getting the halal meat as well? Now that’s another special trip to either Berkley to get super prices with at least 15 lbs worth of meat or go to the city and get meat every 4 days.

As the kids grow, sometimes I feel like I am being tortured, having to feed them enough. Yes, I know, they’re growing and they need the food to grow, but sometimes the ibu and paps are doing workouts for our weekly shopping.

Now that’s excluding clothes shopping. Oh how I miss the good ole uniforms. Didn’t have to worry about what the kids were going to wear and how they were going to do their hair. Masturah grew at least 8 inches in height last year and Matt is 3 inches taller than me already. So guess what? We go clothes shopping every 4 months so that they don’t look like incredible hulks when they go to school!

Maybe I should blame the hormones injected in chickens for their amazing growth. Or maybe I should blame them for exercising too much! I so can’t catch up with the kids…its like ‘Honey, I blew up the kids!’

Anyway let the shrinking ibu get back to the kitchen to see if the kids have bullied my mom enough by making her cook their ‘selera’.

Orang makan orang...

We were on our way to the Santa Cruz Boardwalk when the song ‘I Eat Cannibal’ by Total Coelo played on the radio. David and I shrieked ‘Oh my Gawd!’

Now let me think, the last time I heard this song was some 20 years back (yeah I am the 80’s gurlie) and I knew each and every word of this song. Now, after 20 years, I lost it! But haven’t lost the memory of the 80’s.

Big hair, leg warmers, cut off gloves, flat Mary Janes, huge belts over long/short skirt. Me? I am the new wave girl, that’s why the malays in my secondary school said that I am belacan terselit (no, I don’t dress like minah rock but listen to heavy metal!). I am not going to post my new wave hairdo here (and don’t even beg cos you’re not gonna get it!), malulah, so havoc sampai my father tak tau aper nak buat dengan I.

I also remember those times when my friends and I used to go to the Roller Skate Disco every Saturday from 2-4. Time dulu mana ada tea dance all that. Roller Skate Disco for anak ABU (Anak Bawah Umur in short lah) dah cukup havoc lah tuh. And after that, hang out at the mall with my friends for and hour and went home.

Those were the days…the 80’s…I love the 80’s!!!

p.s. take a listen on my player if you’re curious about this song or for some, to re-live your good ole times :)

Mak, masakan & rakan sekerja...

Until my mom goes home, she will be mentioned a few times too many.

Some of my co workers have been begging for me to either bring my mom to the office and introduce her to them and the other choice, to bring food next week. So I chose number 2 for now cos I know that mak can visit the office anytime too.

So we decided to make 50 pieces of epok2. Then mak said,’Epok2 jer? Kata nak mee siam sekali?’ Hello, I told her that I am not going to work with too much food just to feed them co workers. But I invited my closer co workers to drop by my house this weekend if they die die want to sample my mom’s cooking. One is coming on Sunday, so I might invite another (shes a true omputih, wants to be invited!).

I guess I have described my mom so well to my co workers that they all wanna meet her eh? Or is it that I am just such a nice creature that they want to see where I came from?

I don’t know. But I think my mom is enjoying the attention!

37th Anniversary

Today's my parents' 37th wedding anniversary.

37 years of togetherness, bickerings, fights and making up. 2 kids and 4 grandkids later, they're still going strong and cannot live without each other, but the bickerings don’t seem to fade away hehehe.

We’re taking them to a Thai restaurant for dinner. I am sure Mak and Bapak will love it!

We have not thought of a gift for them yet. Tengah berfikir nih!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY MAK & BAPAK, SEMOGA BERKEKALAN HINGGA KE AKHIR HAYAT!

I don't have anything to say in this blog today. I am going through an intense thinking regarding my career (don't worry, its for the better). So I am going to leave you with this song...its been ringing in my head! And the song to listen and sing to!!!

Thank you Nazrah, my twin, for helping me add the player :) LOVE YOU!

Killing Me Softly
Roberta Flack

I heard he sang a good song
I heard he had a style
And so I came to see him
To listen for a while
And there he was this young boy
A stranger to my eyes

* Strumming my pain with his fingers
Singing my life with his words
Killing me softly with his song
Killing me softly with his song
Telling my whole life with his words
Killing me softly with his song

I felt all flushed with fever
Embarrassed by the crowd
I felt he found my letters
And read each one out loud
I prayed that he would finish
But he just kept right on

* chorus *

He sang as if he knew me
In all my dark despair
And then he looked right through me
As if I wasn't there
But he was there this stranger
Singing clear and strong

* chorus *

A woman's occupation...

I am responding to my beloved Anedra's posting on changing jobs. Rasa mcm tak puas talking about it kan Anedra? But this time with a slight twist.

Has it ever hit you someday that you would like to be someone else? Don’t get me wrong, not to be like Zsa Zsa Gabor or Brooke Shields, but if you're a homemaker, that you would like to go to work and for those who have a high flying career, would like to be a happy sweet homemaker instead?

I have been all three, a homemaker, a part time career woman and now, a full time career woman.

Being a homemaker, I can say this again, with kids in school, I respect the homemakers! Some might think that homemaker is not a glamorous job. Or some might think that homemakers are 'dumb', then they are totally wrong! Housework is a never ending task. You make breakfast, you wake the kids up with kisses, then you make sure the kids take their showers, are well fed and then pack them lunch (or some don't give them money). Then you send them off to school. And then you go to the market, thinking of what to cook for dinner. Asam pedas dah semalam, kari dah kelmarin, masak aper eh? Yang mana suami balik for lunch tuh, by 12pm dah kena tersaji aper yang harus dimasak. Lepas tuh, lipat kain dan jemur baju yang mana belum terbuat. Lepas tuh dah malam, tolong bebudak buat homework….sampailah tertidur dan kain baju belum habis dilipat!

Half day career woman? Ahhh, pepagi masuk kerja so fresh, you spend 2 hours of your 4 hour work day talking about the kids or gossiping. Lepas tuh balik rumah kalau bebudak sekolah petang, ada chance tidur sampai petang sikit. Yang mana budak sekolah lagi tuh, hai terpaksa ambik dorang dan kasi makan dan pergi mengaji, lepas tuh, buatlah homework bersama mereka. Petang pergi park…kata orang tuh, anginkan mereka (air them out)? Well balance life for me.

Full time career woman, that’s what I am now. Spend a good 30 mins of my work time blogging! Boss belum masuk, sudah kes bagus, boleh extend from 30 mins to 45 mins. Others think that I am typing an important blast email(as usual). I am not expecting a full staffed management today, so I know that my day will be slightly OK. The right side of my cubicle, tray filled with confidential papers to consolidate or take action upon. Once I start working, I tend to forget to take breaks. Pekerja contohlah katakan (cewah). I get occasional phone calls from home, on how to solve the little girls problem, on how to help 'look' for my husband's stuff (how to cari when you're here at the office). Tup tup, eh 5:30pm already, time to go home!

Sampai rumah, thanks to a helpful husband, dinner's cooked, kids watching the news and cats waiting in the driveway. If not for my husband, I would have to cook dinner! If it’s the summer, there would be no homework but a pep talk session with the kids. They will tell their daily events at the recreational center, about boys, about girls etc etc. Sometimes they would have their friends over for dinner (which we fully encourage) and me being the 'suka melayan' mom, I would sit with the girls and talk (or more to gossip?) with them. So much fun!

Chores? Kids are there to help me clean the kitchen (that’s why they get paid allowances), and I help with teeny chores like washing my own plates hehe. Oh yeah, I do clean my room tau! I'll finish the laundry and help fold them and clean up the mess and spray Febreeze all over the carpet. And I also comb my Pinky, she loves being combed!

If I had a choice, yes I would love to work part time again. I would be someday. But I wouldn’t mind working full time just to take more challenges in my career. But hey, if one day I feel that I need to retire and be a full time homemaker, then I would! Who knows, when I get my 3rd baby, I might just tell the husband that I am going to support full time 'susu cap gantung' and be home to feed the baby.