Friday, August 6, 2010
freedom
my cousin treated my family and my uncle to dinner today after coming back from hk for a short 'holiday'.
for this short vacation, they booked a suite at a hotel at resorts world for 3 nights, and thereafter another few nights at marina bay sands.
while they were chatting, my cousin said he went to watch the world cup final at south africa.
and he has 4 kids and 3 maids at his house in hk. he leaves home for work at 7am every morning, and goes home at 6pm every evening.
and knowing that my family has some financial issues, our angpows are sometimes bigger than the rest.
you know, who doesn't look towards such a lifestyle. having the finances to buy a luxury car, the money to employ multiple maids to look after the kids, to buy a big house at a prime area, to go holiday and stay in suites all the time, etc etc. i guess he has also gone through the tough times, but i really wonder if i will want to go through such a route.
when my bro was speaking about his job at his current company, i was thinking, when the same question is posed to me one year down the road, what will i say? will it be a disgrace to talk about a smaller company than my bro's? especially when my entire extended family seem to be rather successful in the finance industry. it's this stupid competitive feel in me that is nagging me not to lose out, but there's also another side that is telling me that this is not the lifestyle that i want.
and in the car on the way back, i was talking about my intended trip to korea. my bro scolded me for that, saying that, 'if you're like [my cousin], then i have nothing to say. but you really think you have that much money to spend ah.'
sadly, as much as i dun want to admit, money is really quite important. i want the work-life balance, but i also want the freedom to do things the way i want, to get the things i really want and to live a lifestyle that i'm comfortable with. it's not about being materialistic, but i really want the freedom, to get out of this restricted zone, a zone that is controlled by my family.
you know, after working so hard to earn more money over the last few years, i just want to enjoy a bit before i start work. i may be extravagant, but isn't it fine since i'm spending my own hard-earned money? i could have chosen not to give tuition, not to be a research assistant, or not to apply for scholarship, and ask for allowance instead. why should i put myself through all the pathetic attempts to multi-task and then end up collapsing on my bed every night?
it's really just for one word: freedom. because i know that as long as i do not have the means to support myself, i still have to rely on my parents and be restricted by them.
but now, i really wonder if i should be ambitious.
for this short vacation, they booked a suite at a hotel at resorts world for 3 nights, and thereafter another few nights at marina bay sands.
while they were chatting, my cousin said he went to watch the world cup final at south africa.
and he has 4 kids and 3 maids at his house in hk. he leaves home for work at 7am every morning, and goes home at 6pm every evening.
and knowing that my family has some financial issues, our angpows are sometimes bigger than the rest.
you know, who doesn't look towards such a lifestyle. having the finances to buy a luxury car, the money to employ multiple maids to look after the kids, to buy a big house at a prime area, to go holiday and stay in suites all the time, etc etc. i guess he has also gone through the tough times, but i really wonder if i will want to go through such a route.
when my bro was speaking about his job at his current company, i was thinking, when the same question is posed to me one year down the road, what will i say? will it be a disgrace to talk about a smaller company than my bro's? especially when my entire extended family seem to be rather successful in the finance industry. it's this stupid competitive feel in me that is nagging me not to lose out, but there's also another side that is telling me that this is not the lifestyle that i want.
and in the car on the way back, i was talking about my intended trip to korea. my bro scolded me for that, saying that, 'if you're like [my cousin], then i have nothing to say. but you really think you have that much money to spend ah.'
sadly, as much as i dun want to admit, money is really quite important. i want the work-life balance, but i also want the freedom to do things the way i want, to get the things i really want and to live a lifestyle that i'm comfortable with. it's not about being materialistic, but i really want the freedom, to get out of this restricted zone, a zone that is controlled by my family.
you know, after working so hard to earn more money over the last few years, i just want to enjoy a bit before i start work. i may be extravagant, but isn't it fine since i'm spending my own hard-earned money? i could have chosen not to give tuition, not to be a research assistant, or not to apply for scholarship, and ask for allowance instead. why should i put myself through all the pathetic attempts to multi-task and then end up collapsing on my bed every night?
it's really just for one word: freedom. because i know that as long as i do not have the means to support myself, i still have to rely on my parents and be restricted by them.
but now, i really wonder if i should be ambitious.
Monday, August 2, 2010
back to waking up at 10am. =)
friday was my last day as an OCBC intern.
i'm really grateful for the opportunity to work in such a wonderful department, with nice bosses and nice colleagues. and i've truly learnt a lot from all of them. and though i may not be very close to the other interns since we're so isolated in octagon, it still is nice getting to know more people.
i'm really grateful for the opportunity to work in such a wonderful department, with nice bosses and nice colleagues. and i've truly learnt a lot from all of them. and though i may not be very close to the other interns since we're so isolated in octagon, it still is nice getting to know more people.
i was supposed to be in bangkok now shopping. but there was a bomb that went off AGAIN on friday morning, and since the hotel and airline both agreed to give full refund, for the second time in my life, we decided to cancel our trip to bangkok at the last minute. ah well. this time, it wasn't such a painful decision i guess.
heading to batam for the whole of tmr anw. mel jasmine and i decided to JUST GO SOMEWHERE to compensate for the cancellation. heh.
you wished the whole wide world. wow thanks ah, thanks for excluding me in your world.
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