good thing it's the weekend now

i dunno why i was so emo last night, i guess these are just times i wish i can just talk freely to someone about my feelings, cos i know some of these feelings are just irrationality on my part and nobody would possibly want to listen to all of my whinings and complaints.

and i guess i just dun want to hear another 'aiya you're just thinking too much..'

this cny has been...a routine. it's quite amusing when you can literally see a drop in your angpow collections. from a normal $6 one to mostly $4. but well, my family only has one day of visitations to 3 houses every year, and normally my bro and i will just sit/stand at a corner wondering the names of the numerous nephews and nieces running about, listening to the adults talk about the economy, about mahjong, about everything. can't blame that the average age of my cousins is actually about 38. my bro and i are WAY OFF the bell curve. heh.

went to watch love matters (幸福万岁) with my mum and bro. sometimes i love watching local shows firstly because i'm so localised, and i could like totally relate to the matters discussed. i think that's the successful part about jack neo's films. just that somehow the jokes are getting a bit predictable. but it's hilarious when they discuss the sexual matters in the film. and it's true when what you see in your significant other is lost gradually the longer you're married. and it's sad when you know your other half treats you just like a sexual tool to satisfy one's needs.

met up with jocelyn, zhi xian and yen ling on thursday! the last time we met was 10 months ago. but it's like, everytime we meet, we start suaning each other, updating each other on our love lives (or rather i should say LACK of love life), and start talking about jc softball days. after eating at mof, we went over to the war memorial place to cam-whore. like totally took hell lot of photos, including many attempts at emo shots.

it's comforting to know that even though we dun exactly keep in contact, we always have topics to talk about when we meet and we can still relate with each other, especially nan de when all of us are from different schools (ntu, smu, nus law).


at mof!


photo-whoring with timer! i love the timer!


we wanted to take with the scenery behind! the green thing at the bottom is yen's file!


timer again!=)


attempted emo shot!

fri was supposed to be BR steamboat, but it got postponed when so many people can't make it. hopefully attendance next week would be much better! today was supposed to be 6h gathering at rj too but got cancelled cos a lot of people couldn't make it too. aunt cat came over to stay and i ended up having to sleep on a sofa in my bro's room. but well, at least we got to eat at NO SIGNBOARD. it was SUPER expensive though. crab was $169!!! ok lar aunt cat paid for it. heh.=D gosh i wanted to take photos of the food but totally forgot about it. =X

nice song by fish leong! actually there are quite a lot of nice songs now, but i haven't been listening to radio these days, so dunno a lot of them.

i love the lyrics!=D

《属于》

我坚持的 都值得坚持吗
我所相信的 就是真的吗
如果我敢追求 我就敢拥有吗
而如果都算了 不要呢

或许吧 或许我永远都不要遇见他
或许吧 或许我太天真了吧

属于我的昨天之前的结局
我决定我的决定
属于我的明天之后的憧憬
我迷信我的迷信
属于我们点点滴滴的伤心
我们要各自忘记
属于我们闪闪发亮的爱情
我们再一起努力

属于风的 那就去飞翔吧
属于海洋的 那就汹涌的
属于我们的爱 该来的就来吧
为什么不敢呢 不要呢?

是他吧 命中早就注定了的那个他
是他吧 他原来就在这里啊

属于我的昨天之前的结局
我决定我的决定
属于我的明天之后的憧憬
我迷信我的迷信
属于我们点点滴滴的伤心
我们要各自忘记
属于我们闪闪发亮的爱情
我们再一起努力

我好想好想飞

i dun need someone to constantly scream at me. inferiority is seriously a severe understatement of my emotions.

but what can i do. everytime something happens, all i can do is to swallow my anger and frustrations and keep quiet. or maybe cry to myself.

i'm just capable of demanding for attention, simply because i nv got it.

sometimes i wish i could just live in my own world, in isolation, instead of constantly fighting for things that would never come, instead of yearning for everything.

我好想好想飞， 逃离这个疯狂世界
那么多苦， 那么多累
那么多莫名的泪水

and the tv just had to show the movie that we watched. thanks ah, for reminding me of the time my life was so screwed up.

but why do i just keep remembering the happy times...

it's the new year!

HAPPY CNY EVERYONE!=D

it's the year of the ox again and that means my bro is gonna be 24 this year. and for me, i'm gonna be an adult soon...=( omg time really flies!

reunion dinner has and prob always will be a tiring affair for my family. it's the only occasion my extended family actually meet up. and so, hosting the dinner makes you the busiest person. at least my relatives are appreciative and they help to clear up after the dinner. i'm actually quite amazed at how my mum can whip up such a sumptuous meal for everyone every year. MAYBE i should start learning how to cook from my mum ah...heh.

the star of the day was kalani (i dunno the spelling!). i think she's my only niece from my paternal side. the rest of my cousins are old and unmarried.=X she's such a cute little girl, filled with energy and no show of shyness. she kept jumping around and bringing everyone to look at the rabbits. everyone was so amused by her actions. children really bring joy to the family i guess.=)

and because we only see everyone once a year, the signs of old age somehow are much more obvious. sometimes i feel really sad for them since so many of them are unmarried. and then they also have walking difficulties, hearing difficulties, or whatever problems related to old age.

somehow i got reminded of my trip to khao lak close to two years ago before uni started. dug up some of my old photos, and here are two of them:


myself with part of the class that we taught! they are a REALLY lovely bunch of thai kids, so hospitable, so sweet (they gave us SOO many souvenirs when we went back!), and i can still remember how i was crying so hard when we had to leave after a week. this was despite all the language barriers, the cultural differences, and even the age differences. it's like, they would fight to hold your hands when we were walking them back to their homes. and it's so saddening to see their homes being so small and minimalistic, and yet on the way back, they knew they can't give you anything to bring home, and so they pluck all sorts of flowers along the way and pass to you. and they even helped to lug our luggage up the bus as we left. and these were the kids whose homes were destroyed by the 2004 tsunami. it's a pity we couldn't speak thai properly so we could at least communicate with them.


some of life4 people at the phuket airport before we left.

thank goodness for that experience to teach me to be appreciative of my own life.

anw, my bro reformatted his old comp for me so i'll be switching laptop soon i suppose. i actually feel quite reluctant to move everything in here to that one, but it'll prob drive me crazy soon if i dun with the frequent crashes. ah well. i need to embrace change! and what's more it's the new year.=)

cny is (almost) here...

please practise what you preach before you even start preaching to me. i'd greatly appreciate that. thank you.

my week was so-so, and hence the lack of content for a post. i could perhaps do it in numbered form.

1) subjects taught for tuition are now reduced to the 3 sciences, which make it a lot less stressful i guess. do hope xiuwen will be fine with dylan actually. can't deny my tutee is an absolutely irritating boy. for one, he didn't do my work after one month. second reason being he forgot there was tuition cos his mum went m'sia. third reason and the worst, was that he kept falling asleep right in front of me during tuition. ended up having to lecture him.-_-

2) played 4 hours of squash with luther, nicholas and daryk after not playing since i graduated from jc. reminded me of the good old days seriously, playing squash with 6h after school at some staircase landing. i'm ever so lousy at it - got thrashed quite badly. but i had a lot of fun while at it! and plus the feeling of exercising after a long time of not doing so.

3) parents' anniversary dinner. it was my parents' 25th year of marriage on thursday! you know, sometimes i wonder how my parents were able to stay together for so long. there must have been loads of giving in and compromising, and of cos, resignation to fate. but well, i guess at least i'm lucky enough to have a reasonable standard of living thus far. i just blame myself for taking after my dad in terms of character.

4) was in bus 5 standing right in front due to the crowd when i saw a familiar blue bmw cut the bus's lane. and after some checking out of the driver, i realised it was yowie! it was really so coincidental, to see him drive along PIE, and the bus driver horned at him somemore. HAHA. really hilarious sight i must say.=P

5) most of the people around me got what they want for exchange! happy for them! ok lar except for ja and marcus.=X sorta made me think about going for exchange again, after putting the idea aside last sem cos of my inability to secure a scholarship. well as much as my parents said we prob could afford it, somehow i dun feel secure going, esp with my dad threatening to resign anytime. there are so many implications of going for sep, two of the major ones being:
- we'll be even more financially-burdened due to the high cost
- with my family members' healths deteriorating, how will i feel safe going?

sigh...i hate to make such decisions. but of cos even if i want to, i might not get the chance to cos well i have no idea if there's going to be a second round, and even if there is, the vacancies in the better schools are probably snapped up by now.=X shall wait for another email blast then.

cny is SOOO near now. somehow i dun feel the festive season, especially for this year. maybe cos i haven't even cleared the mess in my room, haven't thought of what to wear for the first day, etc. it's so tragic that as we grow older, such occasions become just a routine and not a joy. and with my bro and i not even close to our cousins, aunties and uncles, cny is just a matter of showing face.

AND we even have bizcomm stuff due on cny. wow. at least i kinda like my bizcomm group. we can talk quite a lot of rubbish! heh.

i hate myself for thinking so much. why can't i just simplify every single damn thing and not think about things that will make me even more miserable. it's just that somehow every indication is pointing in the exact opposite direction of where i want it to point. nvm if you dun understand this part, it's not meant to be understood.

my suspicion is once again confirmed. everyone has moved on, when will i?

台北八日游

taiwan trip photo update!=)

1st day - 士林


aunt cat and i with bbq-ed sugar cane! super nice and warm esp in the cold!

2nd day - 东区

3rd day - 五份埔，西门町


bro and i (with my new cap!) while waiting for the oldies

4th day - levis, 台北101, 士林

dad and i at taipei 101


bro and i with our favourite dessert in taipei 雪花片

5th day - 九份， 故宫， miramar

family shot at the old street in 九份


family shot with the simply beautiful scenery outside the gold mine


family with perlyn and ken at the gold mine


we conquered the mountain! those behind me were clouds btw. we were THAT high up!


bro and i with the $9 million gold after our quest of the mountain.


bro and i on the ferris wheel

6th day - 西门町， 淡水


with mum and dad at 西门町


dad and mum at 淡水. so romantic rite!


family!


bro and i! it was sooo cold!

7th day - 龙山寺， dinner with raymond, sophia

8th day - breakfast at american club

sarah and sheryl! they were ULTRA cute!


before we left for the airport...

i REALLY REALLY enjoyed myself in taiwan this holidays. can't describe the joy when i was there. only bad thing was that the clothes were all winter wear, so couldnt buy many of them. but other than that, weather was good, food was good, company was great! would go there anytime with friends man.=)

bye vivien!

photo update!=)

vivien's 21st!


the bday girl! 2021! =)


the girls with vivien!


the guys! with the lighting and the poses, one wonders if this is seriously a clan photo.


vivien and desiree!


BR with the cake!


the NERDS!


the girls cam-whoring in the toilet! i LOVE this photo!=)

we'll miss you vivien! thanks so much for bringing BR together!

have been back home late the entire week.
monday: dinner at botak jones with some BR people
tuesday: red cliff with the usual few at plaza sing, dinner inclusive
wednesday: ong bak 2 with bro, perming of hair, farewell dinner for vivien
thursday: dinner and LOTR at daryk's
friday: shopping, dinner and sending vivien off at the airport
saturday: lunch with yowie and dinner with family+aunt cat

and so, got a little scolding from mum for going out so often. ah well. at least i had a lot of fun! fun before the tutorials come. heh.

am still pondering over what to do for my bday party. theme? games? gifts? decor? emcee? food? guestlist? ah sigh...

school doesn't seem to have started at all.

back!

i know i haven't been updating since i've been back from taipei, but somehow or rather, i've been either busy uploading photos on fb (which unfortunately i've only been able to upload 9 out of the few hundreds), or clearing my variety shows, or hanging out with br people.

taipei was immensely fun and exciting. the weather was shiok (about 10-15 degrees) and it's like a dream come true for me to be in that environment that i so love. the food was real good. there were just too many instances when my bro and i were thinking of buying the franchise and selling those food in s'pore. but of cos, we aren't that motivated.

i'll upload the photos when i have more time.=X

and settling cors bidding during holiday in taiwan was totally a pain in the ass. i can't imagine what my phone bill would be like this time round. good thing jocelin helped me bid, if not i'll prob would have not gotten any modules this semester.

vivien's 21st was a blast! was really very well-planned, with good food, good atmosphere, and of cos, great company. photos were hilarious for the very fact that most people were nerds except sherlyn who was a bimbo. and being br, we totally cam-whored. again, photos will be up when i have more time.

watched red cliff and ong bak 2 over a span of two days. both were good in their own sense, but i enjoyed red cliff better prob cos of the language. still waiting to watch ip man!

AND I PERMED MY HAIR. what a surprising change. never really thought i'd do so, but serene (my hairdresser) convinced me. i'm rather neutral with the outcome actually, possibly due to the fact that i'm still not used to three things (1) the curls (2) the bangs (3) the super bright colours. this look is supposed to last till my bday!

AND my 21st is set on the 20th feb at some hometeamNS chalet at pasir ris. haven't been there before, but seems rather decent at their website. so many things to iron out still. but i guess i should send out invitations soon.

i'm SOOO unmotivated now...

off!

wanted to post this later in the morning, but come to think of it, i dun think i'll have enough time.

anw! just to announce, i'll be away in taiwan from 3rd to 10th jan! it's winter there and i heard it's SUPER cold...=X ah well at least will have nice photos. heh.=)

ok i'm supposed to sleep now. it's waaaaay too late now. haha.

bye!

it's 2009!

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!=D it's 2009!

anw, just wanted to post 933's top 100 songs of the year. koped this from someone's blog. heh.

#1: 洋葱 - 杨宗纬
#2: 路一直都在 - 陈奕迅
#3: 稻香 - 周杰伦
#4: 小太阳 - 五月天
#5: 原谅我 - 萧敬腾
#6: 伯乐 - 林宥嘉
#7: One World One Dream - 王力宏
#8: 为你存在 - 飞轮海
#9: 不要说话 - 陈奕迅
#10: 如果能在一起 - 梁静茹

#11: I'll Be There - 萧亚轩
#12: 宇宙小姐 - S.H.E
#13: 你不是真正的快乐 - 五月天
#14: 冲动 - 萧亚轩
#15: TiAmo - 炎亚纶 + 刘力扬
#16: 开天窗 - 五月天
#17: 沿海公路的出口 - S.H.E
#18: 新窝 - 飞轮海 + S.H.E
#19: 期待爱 - 林俊杰 + 金莎
#20: 擦肩而过 - 李圣杰

#21: 为你写诗 - 吴克群
#22: 无法归类 - 何维健
#23: 你走天桥, 我走地下道 - 何维健
#24: 陪我歌唱 - 苏打绿
#25: 神秘嘉宾 - 林宥嘉
#26: 亲爱的, 那不是爱情 - 张韶涵
#27: 眼泪笑了 - 刘力扬
#28: 在这里等你 - F4
#29: 周大侠 - 周杰伦 + 杜国璋
#30: 不想懂得 - 张韶涵

#31: 右手边 - 光良
#32: Super Sunshine - 曹格
#33: 爱在 - 方大同
#34: 走火入魔 - 阿信 + 丁当
#35: 我就是这样 - 刘力扬 + Tank
#36: 我还想她 - 林俊杰
#37: 那些女孩教我的事 - 品冠
#38: 逃生 - 张信哲
#39: 吻得太逼真 - 张敬轩
#40: 时光机 - 周杰伦

#41: Love Song - 方大同
#42: 下一个天亮 - 郭静
#43: 虽然我愿意 - 伍家辉
#44: 错爱 - 张栋梁
#45: 迷宫 - 王若琳
#46: 最近还好吗 - S.H.E
#47: 我很好 - 刘若英
#48: 小酒窝 - 林俊杰、蔡卓妍
#49: Yes - 棒棒堂
#50: 收藏 - 萧敬腾

#51: 草戒指 - 神木与瞳
#52: 脱逃术 - 叶乃文
#53: 爱与希望 - 林俊杰
#54: 成熟 - 迷路兵
#55: 我会很爱你 - 言承旭
#56: 带我走 - 杨丞琳
#57: 秘密基地 - 棒棒堂
#58: 半生熟 - 品冠 + 戴佩妮
#59: 达尔文 - 蔡健雅
#60: Welcome To My World - 曹格

#61: 七 - 陈奕迅
#62: 永远在身边 - 大嘴巴
#63: 无家可回 - 伍家辉
#64: 百分百 - 郭静
#65: 败给你 - 罗志祥 + 萧亚轩
#66: 我和她, 她和他 - 李志清 + 周华健
#67: 热牛奶 - 叶乃文
#68: 另类人生 - Energy
#69: 来不及 - Hebe
#70: 依恋 - 蔡淳佳

#71: 彩虹 - 周杰伦
#72: 还是好朋友 - 古巨基 + 梁静茹
#73: 月光 - 黄靖伦
#74: C'est la Vie - 梁静茹
#75: 爱爱 - 曹格
#76: I Have A Dream - 李玟
#77: 不需理由 - 陈世维
#78: 有你的快乐 - 王若琳
#79: 庆幸有你爱我 - 蔡淳佳
#80: 摇滚怎么了!! - 王力宏

#81: 爱人动物 - 苏打绿
#82: 月儿光光 - 5566
#83: 早安, 晨之美! - 卢广仲
#84: 限时的遗忘 - 潘嘉丽
#85: 突然好想你 - 五月天
#86: 你是此生最美的风景 - JS
#87: Stay With Me - 蔡旻佑
#88: 鸽子 - 杨宗纬
#89: 下雨天 - Lara
#90: 安静了 - S.H.E

#91: 千山万水 - 周杰伦
#92: 男人女人 - 许茹芸 + 阿穆隆
#93: 甜甜圈 - 卓文宣
#94: 夏雨诗 - 潘裕文
#95: 疼憨人 - 杨佳盈
#96: 不会分离 - 光良
#97: 原来你就在我身边 - 萧闳仁
#98: 喝彩北京 - 5566 + 孙楠
#99: 牧羊人 - 张信哲
#100: 爱的城堡 - 卓文萱

those in bold are those that i like from 2008.=)

one more day to taiwan! can't wait!

sometimes i just wish people dun take things and people around them for granted. sigh.