梁文音-哭过就好了
作词：姚若龙 作曲：陈小霞
不喜欢怀疑什么
并不表示我没有感受
看你微妙的变化慢慢不同
我不是生气只是心痛
最讨厌被误会了
但越解释越觉得难过
你可以说人会变
但不能说你会这么做是我的错
哭过就好了 伤都会好的
这样相信所以深呼吸着割舍
爱是为了拥抱为了牵手
不是为了争吵为了掉头
哭过就好了 痛都会走的
记忆有限所以它会淘汰坏的
失眠听歌想念虽然苦涩
还是谢谢你让我长大了
越多美好堆叠的过往
想忘就得推倒更大的悲伤
要找勇气却不在口袋或手上
但它一定在我身上某个地方
哭过就好了痛都会走的
记忆有限所以它会淘汰坏的
失眠听歌想念虽然苦涩
还是谢谢你让我长大了
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
trust
there are a few things that i really dun like, and i'll get real angry about. dun think many people have seen me gotten angry before, and i tend not to scold people also (at least not directly in front of them). but if you see me suddenly go quiet and refuse to talk, chances are i'm angry.
first is that i really hate it when people dun trust me. there are a few incidents where i just totally went mad with people who did not show any trust or confidence in me. i know what i'm doing most of the time, and if you dun show any trust or disbelieve my words, i'll get mad really quickly.
another is with my family. people tend to get angry at loved ones more easily than with other people i guess. i REALLY hate it when my parents complain that i never study. cos i really feel they got no right to say that of me. expectations are inevitable, but do not think of your children as a studying machine, cos we are definitely not. if you have a child just to make him or her study, then i got to say sorry, i'll have to disappoint. if one's worth is determined by how much he or she studies, then i really think this world is pathetic.
anyway, life hsn't exactly gotten more interesting during the hols. results are out, and all i say is that i probably deserve those grades, though the grades aren't exactly proportionate to the amount of effort i put into each module. my cap dropped slightly cos i decided not to s/u my B for math, but well, like i told some people, my cap probably won't drop below second upper if i put in reasonable amount of effort, and it probably won't increase above 4.5. so i kinda do not have to worry that much already.
but seriously, the new nus system is sooo horrible. i know the school is trying to increase its network security and stuff, but it has seriously caused so much inconvenience to us students. results were supposed to be released at 11am, but most people couldn't even log into the system cos too many people were logged in. so what we could do was to wait till 12 noon before we could send the sms to get our results. like wth. the entire thing is really quite screwed up, though i must admit the idea of combining all the stuff into one portal is really quite good.
another major headache now is to choose modules to take. i already completed all my foundation modules plus compulsory specialisation modules, so now i can only pick and choose, and HOPE that the modules we choose are easy to score. i might even take modules out of my specialisation, if we have no other choice.
and MERRY CHRISTMAS to the very few who read my blog! i dun celebrate christmas and dun have the habit of exchanging presents, but hope everyone else get a lot a lot of presents!=D
first is that i really hate it when people dun trust me. there are a few incidents where i just totally went mad with people who did not show any trust or confidence in me. i know what i'm doing most of the time, and if you dun show any trust or disbelieve my words, i'll get mad really quickly.
another is with my family. people tend to get angry at loved ones more easily than with other people i guess. i REALLY hate it when my parents complain that i never study. cos i really feel they got no right to say that of me. expectations are inevitable, but do not think of your children as a studying machine, cos we are definitely not. if you have a child just to make him or her study, then i got to say sorry, i'll have to disappoint. if one's worth is determined by how much he or she studies, then i really think this world is pathetic.
anyway, life hsn't exactly gotten more interesting during the hols. results are out, and all i say is that i probably deserve those grades, though the grades aren't exactly proportionate to the amount of effort i put into each module. my cap dropped slightly cos i decided not to s/u my B for math, but well, like i told some people, my cap probably won't drop below second upper if i put in reasonable amount of effort, and it probably won't increase above 4.5. so i kinda do not have to worry that much already.
but seriously, the new nus system is sooo horrible. i know the school is trying to increase its network security and stuff, but it has seriously caused so much inconvenience to us students. results were supposed to be released at 11am, but most people couldn't even log into the system cos too many people were logged in. so what we could do was to wait till 12 noon before we could send the sms to get our results. like wth. the entire thing is really quite screwed up, though i must admit the idea of combining all the stuff into one portal is really quite good.
another major headache now is to choose modules to take. i already completed all my foundation modules plus compulsory specialisation modules, so now i can only pick and choose, and HOPE that the modules we choose are easy to score. i might even take modules out of my specialisation, if we have no other choice.
and MERRY CHRISTMAS to the very few who read my blog! i dun celebrate christmas and dun have the habit of exchanging presents, but hope everyone else get a lot a lot of presents!=D
Monday, December 14, 2009
little update
by right i should be updating a lot since it's my holidays now, but my life has been ever so dull since my exams ended, so i'm here only now.
my last paper was ok lar, but it's frustrating cos i actually spotted some of the qns correctly, just didn't get down to studying in depth about them. i'm probably going to hate myself if i get below an A for this paper. ah sigh.
then went to KL for a THREE day holiday, which was reduced to a TWO day holiday cos jetstar has a flight delay. the plane took off 4 hours after it was scheduled to, and we ended up checking in at midnight. and we were so hungry by then that we went to eat prata even though it was so late.
but yeah it was a REALLY tiring trip cos we wanted to cover as many shopping centres as possible in those two days. somehow, KL's stuff dun appeal to me as much already. it's either too expensive or too outdated. maybe it's also cos ive learnt about what style of clothes suit me and what dun, so there're just too many shops that i skipped.
and thru this trip, we realised how much my parents have aged. they used to like shopping trips and could walk a lot. but now, after walking a few hours, they'd keep resting. sigh, we are all getting old i guess. my bro and i are going to graduate and go into the working world. my mum is probably not going back into the working force, and my dad is also going to retire soon. reversal of roles huh.
and sometimes as i chat with chelsea about all the school stuff, i'll start reminiscing about my sec sch and jc life, and wonder why we all have to grow up. i know it's a dumb and childish question, but it's just saddening to know that many of these things will never ever happen again. like i'll never go for a match support and lead in cheers anymore. i'll never go down to a inter-house competition and support and cheer on my house members anymore. i'll also never plan for all those school activities anymore.
oh well, we all have to face the realities of life. the clock doesn't stop for you.
anyway, i'm once again surviving on tuition money this holidays. frankly speaking, i'm worried about my resume. but somehow, i'm not doing anything about it. just a lot of resistance. one day, i should really do something about my laziness.
and my sole entertainment this hols seems to be playing mahjong with cherry and bf. not that i've actually been winning money from that, but at least it has been keeping me occupied. plus watching all my variety shows and idol dramas.
ok i know it's a boring post, so bye everyone!
my last paper was ok lar, but it's frustrating cos i actually spotted some of the qns correctly, just didn't get down to studying in depth about them. i'm probably going to hate myself if i get below an A for this paper. ah sigh.
then went to KL for a THREE day holiday, which was reduced to a TWO day holiday cos jetstar has a flight delay. the plane took off 4 hours after it was scheduled to, and we ended up checking in at midnight. and we were so hungry by then that we went to eat prata even though it was so late.
but yeah it was a REALLY tiring trip cos we wanted to cover as many shopping centres as possible in those two days. somehow, KL's stuff dun appeal to me as much already. it's either too expensive or too outdated. maybe it's also cos ive learnt about what style of clothes suit me and what dun, so there're just too many shops that i skipped.
and thru this trip, we realised how much my parents have aged. they used to like shopping trips and could walk a lot. but now, after walking a few hours, they'd keep resting. sigh, we are all getting old i guess. my bro and i are going to graduate and go into the working world. my mum is probably not going back into the working force, and my dad is also going to retire soon. reversal of roles huh.
and sometimes as i chat with chelsea about all the school stuff, i'll start reminiscing about my sec sch and jc life, and wonder why we all have to grow up. i know it's a dumb and childish question, but it's just saddening to know that many of these things will never ever happen again. like i'll never go for a match support and lead in cheers anymore. i'll never go down to a inter-house competition and support and cheer on my house members anymore. i'll also never plan for all those school activities anymore.
oh well, we all have to face the realities of life. the clock doesn't stop for you.
anyway, i'm once again surviving on tuition money this holidays. frankly speaking, i'm worried about my resume. but somehow, i'm not doing anything about it. just a lot of resistance. one day, i should really do something about my laziness.
and my sole entertainment this hols seems to be playing mahjong with cherry and bf. not that i've actually been winning money from that, but at least it has been keeping me occupied. plus watching all my variety shows and idol dramas.
ok i know it's a boring post, so bye everyone!
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
ONE MORE!
ONE more paper and i'll be freeee! and off i go to kl for a (only) three day holiday.
ah whatever. at least i get to shop and get out of s'pore for a while. i seriously hope it won't flood over there. heard there'll be heavy rains!
sigh but i'm totally not concentrating on my risk and insurance paper. it's supposed to be the paper that i can most likely get an A for, but the paper is really too late already. i only started studying ytd, and somemore i still went for a 4-hr tuition today. want to finish reading the tb + lecture notes + course pack + student projects really can die.
and not helping that i just bought an ipod touch! but i'm already so in love with it. so many useful applications! and the apps are not just games, it's like using wi-fi to find out bus timings, erp rates, carpark rates, traffic jams on all expressways, nearby shops, and there's gps too. then there are the news apps too. can read cna, bloomberg and straits times on my touch. the games are awesome too. there's this mahjong game that my bro, mum and i are addicted to. omg i have to charge my touch every single day cos everyone just keeps playing with it! and it has enough capacity for my entire 10GB worth of songs!
haha it's the only thing that's keeping me excited right now. i can't wait to get r&i out of the way, and then i can start playing!!!
but sigh, i haven't been able to find any internships. should i just slack this dec hols and just earn some money thru my tuitions. it's prob going to earn me at least $1000 anw. haha but my resume is quite empty now...
argh thursday pls come faster...
ah whatever. at least i get to shop and get out of s'pore for a while. i seriously hope it won't flood over there. heard there'll be heavy rains!
sigh but i'm totally not concentrating on my risk and insurance paper. it's supposed to be the paper that i can most likely get an A for, but the paper is really too late already. i only started studying ytd, and somemore i still went for a 4-hr tuition today. want to finish reading the tb + lecture notes + course pack + student projects really can die.
and not helping that i just bought an ipod touch! but i'm already so in love with it. so many useful applications! and the apps are not just games, it's like using wi-fi to find out bus timings, erp rates, carpark rates, traffic jams on all expressways, nearby shops, and there's gps too. then there are the news apps too. can read cna, bloomberg and straits times on my touch. the games are awesome too. there's this mahjong game that my bro, mum and i are addicted to. omg i have to charge my touch every single day cos everyone just keeps playing with it! and it has enough capacity for my entire 10GB worth of songs!
haha it's the only thing that's keeping me excited right now. i can't wait to get r&i out of the way, and then i can start playing!!!
but sigh, i haven't been able to find any internships. should i just slack this dec hols and just earn some money thru my tuitions. it's prob going to earn me at least $1000 anw. haha but my resume is quite empty now...
argh thursday pls come faster...
Thursday, November 26, 2009
should a child be judged by results?
it's psle release today. not that it's my business, but i dun understand why it's my parents' business.
they watched the news at 9.30 and 10pm just to listen to the news about the psle release, and i really dun understand why.
are results really that important? maybe in this world of meritocracy, it is indeed important. but is a child's worth defined by the number of As that he or she gets? is it fair to judge a person by the certificate one has?
i guess perhaps one by-product of s'pore's (successful?) system is its very well-defined social strata. it might or might not be a good thing, but the problem with it is that, every parents wants their kids to be successful, in no other way than by academic results. so if you're smart, but totally lack in EQ, your parents still think you're good?
it's hard to achieve the best of both worlds. and even though i've been through an environment where all the elite resides, i can't say i fully agree with such a system for the kids. stress may be an inherent part of studying, but it shouldn't come at the expense of character development of the kids.
take me for example. even though i have the prestigious sec sch and jc in my track record, i'm still competing on the same level as many other poly students in uni, and some of them are doing even better than me now. and i'm totally talentless. i can't do anything else other than perhaps maybe doing slightly better in my exams. but how far can that bring me?
and competing with the best of the best may not be a good thing also. i've changed a lot from pri to sec school, and i highly suspect it's because of the inferiority complex that i developed in sec sch. in sec sch, even though i may have gotten all those awards or whatsoever, i never once felt any better than any other student in the school. one is because of my inability to speak good english, and another is my inability to speak well.
i simply dun understand why parents put so much emphasis on the academic achievements of their kids. and so what if i got 273 for psle and 9A1s for Os? my AABB at As was enough to make my life change, and end up being a horrible victim of this educational system.
is it really that important to enter the higher social class, or the so-called elite group in s'pore? i really have no idea. perhaps this is just part of the process to let the nation be known and seen faster in the global stage.
they watched the news at 9.30 and 10pm just to listen to the news about the psle release, and i really dun understand why.
are results really that important? maybe in this world of meritocracy, it is indeed important. but is a child's worth defined by the number of As that he or she gets? is it fair to judge a person by the certificate one has?
i guess perhaps one by-product of s'pore's (successful?) system is its very well-defined social strata. it might or might not be a good thing, but the problem with it is that, every parents wants their kids to be successful, in no other way than by academic results. so if you're smart, but totally lack in EQ, your parents still think you're good?
it's hard to achieve the best of both worlds. and even though i've been through an environment where all the elite resides, i can't say i fully agree with such a system for the kids. stress may be an inherent part of studying, but it shouldn't come at the expense of character development of the kids.
take me for example. even though i have the prestigious sec sch and jc in my track record, i'm still competing on the same level as many other poly students in uni, and some of them are doing even better than me now. and i'm totally talentless. i can't do anything else other than perhaps maybe doing slightly better in my exams. but how far can that bring me?
and competing with the best of the best may not be a good thing also. i've changed a lot from pri to sec school, and i highly suspect it's because of the inferiority complex that i developed in sec sch. in sec sch, even though i may have gotten all those awards or whatsoever, i never once felt any better than any other student in the school. one is because of my inability to speak good english, and another is my inability to speak well.
i simply dun understand why parents put so much emphasis on the academic achievements of their kids. and so what if i got 273 for psle and 9A1s for Os? my AABB at As was enough to make my life change, and end up being a horrible victim of this educational system.
is it really that important to enter the higher social class, or the so-called elite group in s'pore? i really have no idea. perhaps this is just part of the process to let the nation be known and seen faster in the global stage.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
two down!
it's amazing i spent almost two weeks at home doing nothing but studying. watching webcasts, doing tutorials. and in the end, i could only do half the math paper today.
ah well, at least it's over. and good thing scm's over too. didn't finish both the papers ytd and today but somehow i dun really bother too much also. time to rest for a few days and then start studying for risk and insurance and off to KL! only for 3 days though. better than nothing!=)
and i haven stayed at home for such a long period of time before, though i wonder if it's a good thing. actually i kinda look forward to coming home now. i used to wish i can stay out the entire day, coming home only at night. but now, my view is slowly changing. i feel so much closer to my mum, prob because she's jobless and staying at home now. and she's practically becoming my "chaufeur" too. well well blame myself for being so useless to get a licence but still dun dare to drive out.
i'm just afraid i'm becoming too reliant. but being reliant on my family is supposed to be a good thing rite? i used to be taught how to be independent, and not to rely on others to do things for you. but i think it has also made my character really isolated from others.
but i guess it's good that my family relations are getting slightly better, with my mum lar of cos. just that even if i want to talk to my dad now, it doesn't mean he wants to talk to me. i guess my entire family is just horrible at expressing our thoughts. i was reminded of the time when i kept quarrelling with my mum. at least that doesn't happen now. and since my dad doesnt talk to my bro and i, there are also no more conflicts between us and him. somehow or rather, this makes me feel slightly happier to stay at home.
perhaps perhaps, there's just nothing worthy to go out for.
i wish i can tell you everything once again.
ah well, at least it's over. and good thing scm's over too. didn't finish both the papers ytd and today but somehow i dun really bother too much also. time to rest for a few days and then start studying for risk and insurance and off to KL! only for 3 days though. better than nothing!=)
and i haven stayed at home for such a long period of time before, though i wonder if it's a good thing. actually i kinda look forward to coming home now. i used to wish i can stay out the entire day, coming home only at night. but now, my view is slowly changing. i feel so much closer to my mum, prob because she's jobless and staying at home now. and she's practically becoming my "chaufeur" too. well well blame myself for being so useless to get a licence but still dun dare to drive out.
i'm just afraid i'm becoming too reliant. but being reliant on my family is supposed to be a good thing rite? i used to be taught how to be independent, and not to rely on others to do things for you. but i think it has also made my character really isolated from others.
but i guess it's good that my family relations are getting slightly better, with my mum lar of cos. just that even if i want to talk to my dad now, it doesn't mean he wants to talk to me. i guess my entire family is just horrible at expressing our thoughts. i was reminded of the time when i kept quarrelling with my mum. at least that doesn't happen now. and since my dad doesnt talk to my bro and i, there are also no more conflicts between us and him. somehow or rather, this makes me feel slightly happier to stay at home.
perhaps perhaps, there's just nothing worthy to go out for.
i wish i can tell you everything once again.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
another 25% completed!
sadly, this is my only photo taken in school this sem. but anyhow, here's the group photo of my biz policy project group with our prof!
a great group indeed! who says all exchange students are useless, at least my group's exchange students do their work despite all their travelling! and i must say they also contributed a lot to our group work.
and just completed my part of the editing for the scm project report. took me 7 hours to finish it. but i'm glad it's done. off it goes and i can resume my mugging!
have been studying math for the ENTIRE week. watching webcasts, doing tutorials. still too many question marks, but at least i'm putting in hard work. one week to study for one sem's worth of work. tough, but ah well, at least it's MATH! hopefully it pays off!
can only hope the results we get will reflect the hard work we've put in for this sem.
back to my daily dose of variety show/ou xiang jus!
Monday, November 16, 2009
i wish.
to be honest, i've actually kinda lost a lot of trust and confidence in people around me.
it's not that i've been betrayed or anything, i just sometimes think that as one gets older, the number of people you can actually trust and confide in gradually gets smaller, to a really pathetic number.
now, i rather be alone at times. i've gotten really tired of maintaining that smile, or that sense of awareness around people. i wish to go crazy, not in that clubbing sense, but rather just go somewhere where i can just let loose and be myself, my lousy self instead of acting to be someone who comes from an elite school. and there are not many people whom i feel at ease with that i'm willing to be myself around.
not that i'm not alone anyway.
maybe after a while, when i stop confiding in people, i'll start to think that friends are no longer a necessity, but rather a luxury.
it might be a good thing actually. at least it teaches me to treasure the luxury that i enjoy, no matter how limited that may be.
you know sometimes i wish that i've never gone through most of my student life meeting so many people and getting close to different people at different times. at least there won't be the sharp contrast as compared to the present.
there are just too many "what ifs" in this world. and my head is always thinking about all the different "what ifs" that could make a difference in my life.
i wish i can just let nature take its own course, instead of trying to control the outcome of everything that comes.
i wish i was never this rational. i wish i follow my heart more than i follow my brain. i wish i never cared about what people think about me.
a true case of "internal" conflict huh...
it's not that i've been betrayed or anything, i just sometimes think that as one gets older, the number of people you can actually trust and confide in gradually gets smaller, to a really pathetic number.
now, i rather be alone at times. i've gotten really tired of maintaining that smile, or that sense of awareness around people. i wish to go crazy, not in that clubbing sense, but rather just go somewhere where i can just let loose and be myself, my lousy self instead of acting to be someone who comes from an elite school. and there are not many people whom i feel at ease with that i'm willing to be myself around.
not that i'm not alone anyway.
maybe after a while, when i stop confiding in people, i'll start to think that friends are no longer a necessity, but rather a luxury.
it might be a good thing actually. at least it teaches me to treasure the luxury that i enjoy, no matter how limited that may be.
you know sometimes i wish that i've never gone through most of my student life meeting so many people and getting close to different people at different times. at least there won't be the sharp contrast as compared to the present.
there are just too many "what ifs" in this world. and my head is always thinking about all the different "what ifs" that could make a difference in my life.
i wish i can just let nature take its own course, instead of trying to control the outcome of everything that comes.
i wish i was never this rational. i wish i follow my heart more than i follow my brain. i wish i never cared about what people think about me.
a true case of "internal" conflict huh...
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
bye bye biz pol & corpfin!
biz pol presentation is finally over. it must be the project with the most effort we've put into amongst all the projects we did this sem. then again, it's all worth it. i can't be sure we scored well, but i'm sure we did our best to conceptualise all the stuff we heard and read into a succinct 15-page strategic analysis.
it was also one of the best presentations i ever had. i knew exactly what i was talking about, mainly because i wrote the same stuff in the report as well, and i didn't even refer to my cue cards except at the start! a big step forward for me.=) and i'm pretty sure our analysis is one of the best in my class. haha.
and i must say our prof is good. if not for his drilling during our consultation with him, we probably would have started in the wrong direction in our analysis. during q&a, he was also the only person asking us questions. and i think the class got real bored after a while, cos he was spending too much time extracting information out of us. but at the end of it, he said he wanted to drill us cos he's focussing his research studies on vertical integration, so he's stricter in that sense. but he said we did well!=)
as you can tell, i'm really relieved biz pol is over, and that concludes my second and last presentation of this sem. two modules down, three more to go! next up is scm hw and scm report, which i havent started at all. and the dreadful exams.....
and i think my stomach and intestines are going on strike these days. have been having diarrhoea and nausea and urge to puke these few days. i think i totally just destroyed my own stomach in jc.
it was also one of the best presentations i ever had. i knew exactly what i was talking about, mainly because i wrote the same stuff in the report as well, and i didn't even refer to my cue cards except at the start! a big step forward for me.=) and i'm pretty sure our analysis is one of the best in my class. haha.
and i must say our prof is good. if not for his drilling during our consultation with him, we probably would have started in the wrong direction in our analysis. during q&a, he was also the only person asking us questions. and i think the class got real bored after a while, cos he was spending too much time extracting information out of us. but at the end of it, he said he wanted to drill us cos he's focussing his research studies on vertical integration, so he's stricter in that sense. but he said we did well!=)
as you can tell, i'm really relieved biz pol is over, and that concludes my second and last presentation of this sem. two modules down, three more to go! next up is scm hw and scm report, which i havent started at all. and the dreadful exams.....
and i think my stomach and intestines are going on strike these days. have been having diarrhoea and nausea and urge to puke these few days. i think i totally just destroyed my own stomach in jc.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
hard work that paid off..
just to let those interested know what i've been doing for my prof the last few months, here's the article with the figure that we calculated:
http://a1preview.asia1.com.sg:90/vgn-ext-templating/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=96064ff93f1c4210VgnVCM100000430a0a0aRCRD&vgnextchannel=719967c086322110VgnVCM100000bd0a0a0aRCRD
it's basically this sentence: He said: 'A study done by the National University of Singapore this year found that averaged over a four-year period, the productivity of SQA winners...was 35 per cent higher than that of their industry counterparts.'
haha dun look down on this figure k, we spent close to two weeks (i think) coming up with it. =D quite cool to be able to contribute to something of national importance huh.=P
and this is not all. we're still working on other things that may be published also, i wouldn't really know lar. but at least i know the hard work is paid off!=)
back to mugging for corp fin. i'm REALLY worried. i really hope i can do well for this 40%, at least must try to get an A-!
http://a1preview.asia1.com.sg:90/vgn-ext-templating/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=96064ff93f1c4210VgnVCM100000430a0a0aRCRD&vgnextchannel=719967c086322110VgnVCM100000bd0a0a0aRCRD
it's basically this sentence: He said: 'A study done by the National University of Singapore this year found that averaged over a four-year period, the productivity of SQA winners...was 35 per cent higher than that of their industry counterparts.'
haha dun look down on this figure k, we spent close to two weeks (i think) coming up with it. =D quite cool to be able to contribute to something of national importance huh.=P
and this is not all. we're still working on other things that may be published also, i wouldn't really know lar. but at least i know the hard work is paid off!=)
back to mugging for corp fin. i'm REALLY worried. i really hope i can do well for this 40%, at least must try to get an A-!
Monday, November 2, 2009
我爱他
我爱他 - 丁当
他的情况留在某一节车厢
地下铁里的风比回忆还重
整座城市一直等着我
有一段感情还在漂泊
对他唯一遗憾是分手那天
我奔腾的眼泪都停不下来
若那一刻重来我不哭
让他知道我可以很好
我爱他轰轰烈烈最疯狂
我的梦狠狠碎过却不会忘
曾为他相信明天就是未来
情节有多坏都不肯醒来
我爱他跌跌撞撞到绝望
我的心深深伤过却不会忘
我和他不再属于这个地方
最初的天堂最终的荒唐
如果还有遗憾又怎么样呢
伤了痛了懂了就能好了吗
曾经依靠彼此的肩膀
如今各自在人海流浪
我爱他轰轰烈烈最疯狂
我的梦狠狠碎过却不会忘
逃不开爱越深越互相伤害
越深的依赖越多的空白
该怎么去爱
我爱他轰轰烈烈最疯狂
我的梦狠狠碎过却不会忘
曾为他相信明天就是未来
情节有多坏都不肯醒来
我爱他跌跌撞撞到绝望
我的心深深伤过却不会忘
我和他不再属于这个地方
最初的天堂最终的荒唐
如果还有遗憾是分手那天
我奔腾的眼泪都停不下来
若那一刻重来我不哭
让他知道我可以很好
the opening song to <<下一站，幸福>>. really love this song. always so touched everytime i hear this song play during the show. and i'm addicted to the show. the storyline is actually quite cliched and i've already watched similar shows over and over again, but i guess 我可能比较喜欢走悲情路线.
他的情况留在某一节车厢
地下铁里的风比回忆还重
整座城市一直等着我
有一段感情还在漂泊
对他唯一遗憾是分手那天
我奔腾的眼泪都停不下来
若那一刻重来我不哭
让他知道我可以很好
我爱他轰轰烈烈最疯狂
我的梦狠狠碎过却不会忘
曾为他相信明天就是未来
情节有多坏都不肯醒来
我爱他跌跌撞撞到绝望
我的心深深伤过却不会忘
我和他不再属于这个地方
最初的天堂最终的荒唐
如果还有遗憾又怎么样呢
伤了痛了懂了就能好了吗
曾经依靠彼此的肩膀
如今各自在人海流浪
我爱他轰轰烈烈最疯狂
我的梦狠狠碎过却不会忘
逃不开爱越深越互相伤害
越深的依赖越多的空白
该怎么去爱
我爱他轰轰烈烈最疯狂
我的梦狠狠碎过却不会忘
曾为他相信明天就是未来
情节有多坏都不肯醒来
我爱他跌跌撞撞到绝望
我的心深深伤过却不会忘
我和他不再属于这个地方
最初的天堂最终的荒唐
如果还有遗憾是分手那天
我奔腾的眼泪都停不下来
若那一刻重来我不哭
让他知道我可以很好
the opening song to <<下一站，幸福>>. really love this song. always so touched everytime i hear this song play during the show. and i'm addicted to the show. the storyline is actually quite cliched and i've already watched similar shows over and over again, but i guess 我可能比较喜欢走悲情路线.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
perhaps
i hate to admit this, but i realised i haven't gotten over you fully.
why is it so hard? i really dun understand.
maybe i was too young to handle that, maybe i really could have done more to salvage the situation.
and it hurts to know that you're ready to let go. i'm seriously seriously hurt. i have no wish for the situation to turn out this way.
perhaps it was only supposed to be good when it lasted.
but when i looked thru the smses from the past (yes i still keep them....), i can't help but tear.
we have all moved on. we have all changed. we have put on masks after masks.
you were the one who showed me concern even for the smallest of things.
but now, i'm beginning to think, that perhaps i wasn't, and am not, worthy of any concern at all.
why is it so hard? i really dun understand.
maybe i was too young to handle that, maybe i really could have done more to salvage the situation.
and it hurts to know that you're ready to let go. i'm seriously seriously hurt. i have no wish for the situation to turn out this way.
perhaps it was only supposed to be good when it lasted.
but when i looked thru the smses from the past (yes i still keep them....), i can't help but tear.
we have all moved on. we have all changed. we have put on masks after masks.
you were the one who showed me concern even for the smallest of things.
but now, i'm beginning to think, that perhaps i wasn't, and am not, worthy of any concern at all.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
越渴
习惯了寂寞，习惯了被忽略，习惯了被遗忘，就算有千万个不愿意，我又何奈？
也许是因为在现实生活中无法拥有的东西，我就越渴望在虚拟的世界中拥有。 也就因为如此，我喜欢看偶像剧，就因为在每部戏中男主角对女主角无微不至的呵护。我想对每个女孩来说，这种呵护是胜过样貌可带给你的快感。
我不可完全否认，我是个外貌协会的人，但我始终相信，安全感是最重要的。
我也知道，就因为我对这种“完美爱情”的执著，我可能永远也找不到一个懂得珍惜我，和完全了解我的人。因为在偶像剧里所发生的事，现实中很难重演。梦幻似的剧情，也是靠编剧的人想象出来的。
我不擅长表达我的情感，就算是对“你”，我也是事后才后悔万分。忘不了的是那种对你的依赖，忘不了的是你对我的关怀。这也许只是你对朋友之间的关怀，但对我这种时常被忽略的人来说，那段时间是我短时间内不可能忘记的。
因为只有你看得到我坚强壳子里的脆弱，因为只有你肯花时间真正的了解我。这不一定是爱情，但是因为如此，我感到一丝丝的温暖，感到原来我也有被别人照顾的一天。
但也因为你，我曾经有一度濒临崩溃。
习惯了故作坚强，所以每个人印象中的我，将来一定会变成女强人。又有谁会知道，我渴望的并不是高薪的工作和舒服的生活，而是一个美满的家庭。
其实，很多事情只要看开了，重要性也会逐渐的淡化。我从来不是个幸运的人，也知道很多事情是你越想得到的，就会离你越来越远。老实说，我厌倦了上天对我的残忍，也对生命产生一种绝望。因为这样，我开始相信，我可能会孤独终生。
看着朋友们都生活在甜甜蜜蜜的感情生活中，听着音乐里别人爱的宣言，我也只能认命了。。。
也许是因为在现实生活中无法拥有的东西，我就越渴望在虚拟的世界中拥有。 也就因为如此，我喜欢看偶像剧，就因为在每部戏中男主角对女主角无微不至的呵护。我想对每个女孩来说，这种呵护是胜过样貌可带给你的快感。
我不可完全否认，我是个外貌协会的人，但我始终相信，安全感是最重要的。
我也知道，就因为我对这种“完美爱情”的执著，我可能永远也找不到一个懂得珍惜我，和完全了解我的人。因为在偶像剧里所发生的事，现实中很难重演。梦幻似的剧情，也是靠编剧的人想象出来的。
我不擅长表达我的情感，就算是对“你”，我也是事后才后悔万分。忘不了的是那种对你的依赖，忘不了的是你对我的关怀。这也许只是你对朋友之间的关怀，但对我这种时常被忽略的人来说，那段时间是我短时间内不可能忘记的。
因为只有你看得到我坚强壳子里的脆弱，因为只有你肯花时间真正的了解我。这不一定是爱情，但是因为如此，我感到一丝丝的温暖，感到原来我也有被别人照顾的一天。
但也因为你，我曾经有一度濒临崩溃。
习惯了故作坚强，所以每个人印象中的我，将来一定会变成女强人。又有谁会知道，我渴望的并不是高薪的工作和舒服的生活，而是一个美满的家庭。
其实，很多事情只要看开了，重要性也会逐渐的淡化。我从来不是个幸运的人，也知道很多事情是你越想得到的，就会离你越来越远。老实说，我厌倦了上天对我的残忍，也对生命产生一种绝望。因为这样，我开始相信，我可能会孤独终生。
看着朋友们都生活在甜甜蜜蜜的感情生活中，听着音乐里别人爱的宣言，我也只能认命了。。。
Sunday, October 25, 2009
fried brain
i've been working so much on excel sheets that my eyes are popping out. and i've been on the phone so much with my prof that my ear drums are bursting too. and a combination of those two for 2 hours each day makes me not want to complete my other work.
but i guess the hard work is worth it at the end of the entire project. like prof always says, "don't you feel proud that you're working for something of national importance?" haha indeed i do. in fact i'm glad i took up the challenge of working with prof sum. these are things you'll never be able to learn in the textbooks, lecture notes, or even the newspapers. most only report the results, never telling you how the results are derived. but when you're the one coming up with the results, it's indeed a challenge but definitely fulfilling task.
there are of cos some opportunities that i didn't take up, i dunno whether i'll regret it in the end, but i guess i have to know my limits also. not like i have a lot of time to spare this sem too. i still want my deans list, though it's a bit impossible lar.
and so, taking the chance that i kinda dun have many stuff to do this weekend, i went to play mahjong with cherry ytd! it was so shiok, really. haven't even have such luxury of time to do anything like that the entire sem. in the end, only one person won, but he won $2.20 only. the rest of us lost $1.20, $0.80, and $0.20. HAHA! that's after THREE rounds btw. i was losing close to $10 after the first round. managed to win for the second and third round though, but well in the end still lost lar. it's the fun that counts!=)
my parents are in penang now btw. have been eating instant noodles for my meals cos i'm quite lazy to cook also. haha. i think my parents are addicted to travelling. they just went to guangzhou, bali, now they're in penang, and soon they'll be going bangkok and taiwan. taking full advantage of cheap airfares huh. it's good lar in a way, time for them to enjoy. would one day want them to go to europe or US, but they'll say, "wait till you all give us the money to do that lor."
i want to travel this holidays too. still in the midst of thinking whether to go KL with mum and bro. but only for a few days lar. i end exams on 3rd dec, and have to come back on 6th so that i can do an internship from 7th onwards (which i also dunno whether i can find). rather short time, but i guess it's always good to go out of s'pore at least for a while.
so envious of all the people on exchange now! next sem, all my freshies will be on exchange and i'll be even more envious! sigh.........
but i guess the hard work is worth it at the end of the entire project. like prof always says, "don't you feel proud that you're working for something of national importance?" haha indeed i do. in fact i'm glad i took up the challenge of working with prof sum. these are things you'll never be able to learn in the textbooks, lecture notes, or even the newspapers. most only report the results, never telling you how the results are derived. but when you're the one coming up with the results, it's indeed a challenge but definitely fulfilling task.
there are of cos some opportunities that i didn't take up, i dunno whether i'll regret it in the end, but i guess i have to know my limits also. not like i have a lot of time to spare this sem too. i still want my deans list, though it's a bit impossible lar.
and so, taking the chance that i kinda dun have many stuff to do this weekend, i went to play mahjong with cherry ytd! it was so shiok, really. haven't even have such luxury of time to do anything like that the entire sem. in the end, only one person won, but he won $2.20 only. the rest of us lost $1.20, $0.80, and $0.20. HAHA! that's after THREE rounds btw. i was losing close to $10 after the first round. managed to win for the second and third round though, but well in the end still lost lar. it's the fun that counts!=)
my parents are in penang now btw. have been eating instant noodles for my meals cos i'm quite lazy to cook also. haha. i think my parents are addicted to travelling. they just went to guangzhou, bali, now they're in penang, and soon they'll be going bangkok and taiwan. taking full advantage of cheap airfares huh. it's good lar in a way, time for them to enjoy. would one day want them to go to europe or US, but they'll say, "wait till you all give us the money to do that lor."
i want to travel this holidays too. still in the midst of thinking whether to go KL with mum and bro. but only for a few days lar. i end exams on 3rd dec, and have to come back on 6th so that i can do an internship from 7th onwards (which i also dunno whether i can find). rather short time, but i guess it's always good to go out of s'pore at least for a while.
so envious of all the people on exchange now! next sem, all my freshies will be on exchange and i'll be even more envious! sigh.........
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
horrible + terrible
seems like i'm getting further and further away from my aim of deans list this semester.
just had a rather horrendous presentation which was shot down quite a lot by our class mates and lecturer. and so we didn't go check out a lot of assumptions and how formulae can be applied. ended up a lot of our concepts were incorrect.
we had novel ideas, but seem like because of our novel ideas which weren't exactly backed up didn't resonate with the rest.
ah well. raheem insists that we didn't do as badly as i thought. but well, haven't gotten shot down so much in any other presentation before, and the fact that so many of our calculations were inaccurate might prove to be fatal to our final grades.
time to concentrate on the final exam which is 40%!
so far the only good news i have is the fact that i scored well for r&i. top five in class lar, and my name was also mentioned by the lecturer. only year three out of the rest of the year fours also. but well, can only hope i continue to do well for the exam, so at least i can try to secure an A this sem.
most of my modules are wrapping up now, and in the writing report stages. starting to tone down a little, but well hopefully things dun get worse.
and tuition almost killed me the last three days. i had 12 hours of tuition for physics alone for the last three days for dylan. wonderful rite. but i've never felt so inadequate in my knowledge.
sometimes i wish i am a lot smarter than i am. i really think grades dun accurately reflect how much knowledge a person possesses, so even if i have relatively high grades, it doesn't mean i'm smart.
i guess it also boils down to a lot other factors, but point is, i dun think i'm smart and am adequately equipped with knowledge. in fact i'm feeling really useless.
i'm finding it so hard to keep up with expectations, whether of others or of my own.
i've always been trying to understand how this inferiority complex of mine came about, but to no avail.
just had a rather horrendous presentation which was shot down quite a lot by our class mates and lecturer. and so we didn't go check out a lot of assumptions and how formulae can be applied. ended up a lot of our concepts were incorrect.
we had novel ideas, but seem like because of our novel ideas which weren't exactly backed up didn't resonate with the rest.
ah well. raheem insists that we didn't do as badly as i thought. but well, haven't gotten shot down so much in any other presentation before, and the fact that so many of our calculations were inaccurate might prove to be fatal to our final grades.
time to concentrate on the final exam which is 40%!
so far the only good news i have is the fact that i scored well for r&i. top five in class lar, and my name was also mentioned by the lecturer. only year three out of the rest of the year fours also. but well, can only hope i continue to do well for the exam, so at least i can try to secure an A this sem.
most of my modules are wrapping up now, and in the writing report stages. starting to tone down a little, but well hopefully things dun get worse.
and tuition almost killed me the last three days. i had 12 hours of tuition for physics alone for the last three days for dylan. wonderful rite. but i've never felt so inadequate in my knowledge.
sometimes i wish i am a lot smarter than i am. i really think grades dun accurately reflect how much knowledge a person possesses, so even if i have relatively high grades, it doesn't mean i'm smart.
i guess it also boils down to a lot other factors, but point is, i dun think i'm smart and am adequately equipped with knowledge. in fact i'm feeling really useless.
i'm finding it so hard to keep up with expectations, whether of others or of my own.
i've always been trying to understand how this inferiority complex of mine came about, but to no avail.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
寂寞，好了
nice song by a relatively newcomer!
继“我可以”后，下一首富有情感的歌！超喜欢的！
寂寞，好了 蔡旻佑
拼命的奢望 闷坏的胸口
让我想大声的呐喊
我努力不放 你冷淡
你让分手 就这样
我连做梦也感觉受伤
一年过了 还是一天 计算着慌张
计程车上的音响 我们最爱的情歌
这一刻却重重击破思念的 心脏
夜深了我怎么办 寂寞了谁在身旁
心情变得好复杂 想她 念她 恨她
一个人你害怕吗 细数过漫天星光
说好永远不分开 多假 多假 多假
让记忆长出翅膀 飞翔
心放空了 寂寞 好了
坚强外表下 我脆弱
情人节开始失常
别人庆祝 我却很失落
秋天过了 冬天漫长
关于爱 感伤
我们天真的勇敢
我们追求的梦想
舍不得也只能收藏旅行的时光
寂寞感冒全都可以好的
爱多甜 伤多痛 都释放 oh~
没有你 心放空了 寂寞 好了
继“我可以”后，下一首富有情感的歌！超喜欢的！
寂寞，好了 蔡旻佑
拼命的奢望 闷坏的胸口
让我想大声的呐喊
我努力不放 你冷淡
你让分手 就这样
我连做梦也感觉受伤
一年过了 还是一天 计算着慌张
计程车上的音响 我们最爱的情歌
这一刻却重重击破思念的 心脏
夜深了我怎么办 寂寞了谁在身旁
心情变得好复杂 想她 念她 恨她
一个人你害怕吗 细数过漫天星光
说好永远不分开 多假 多假 多假
让记忆长出翅膀 飞翔
心放空了 寂寞 好了
坚强外表下 我脆弱
情人节开始失常
别人庆祝 我却很失落
秋天过了 冬天漫长
关于爱 感伤
我们天真的勇敢
我们追求的梦想
舍不得也只能收藏旅行的时光
寂寞感冒全都可以好的
爱多甜 伤多痛 都释放 oh~
没有你 心放空了 寂寞 好了
Saturday, October 10, 2009
suffocating...
projects and mid-terms are totally suffocating so many people, and this poor soul over here is not spared either.
things are so bad till some modules have to act as sacrificial subjects, meaning i've already given up on catching up with every single module. this is sooo bad.
it's week 9 soon, and well well we're already dying from all the deadlines. every week we'll think, it's gonna get better next week, but the "better week" never comes.
my corp fin group stayed over at joce's house last night to do our case analysis, and it isn't even completed. (one funny thing, i got locked out of my house cos i reached home at 620am.=X ) biz pol and corp fin alone can kill us.
mid-term on monday and i'm not even halfway thru sudying for it. doesn't help that we dun exactly listen in class or do his work.
and doesn't help that my tuitions have been so intensive since it's exam periods for both chelsea and dylan. i went to their place on sat, sun, mon, tues, wed, fri, sat. the money is of cos good, but it's really super tiring and time-consuming!
only have one better news this week:
addition of two more rabbits! my parents saw two rabbits up for adoption at this pet shop near our house, and they decided to adopt both mother and daughter, so now i have 4 female rabbits at my house. bad thing is, they can't stay together. the original two are always attacking the two new ones, and so we have to separate them, the two new ones in a cage while the other two still roaming around the balcony. hopefully they'll get used to their presence soon enough!
things are so bad till some modules have to act as sacrificial subjects, meaning i've already given up on catching up with every single module. this is sooo bad.
it's week 9 soon, and well well we're already dying from all the deadlines. every week we'll think, it's gonna get better next week, but the "better week" never comes.
my corp fin group stayed over at joce's house last night to do our case analysis, and it isn't even completed. (one funny thing, i got locked out of my house cos i reached home at 620am.=X ) biz pol and corp fin alone can kill us.
mid-term on monday and i'm not even halfway thru sudying for it. doesn't help that we dun exactly listen in class or do his work.
and doesn't help that my tuitions have been so intensive since it's exam periods for both chelsea and dylan. i went to their place on sat, sun, mon, tues, wed, fri, sat. the money is of cos good, but it's really super tiring and time-consuming!
only have one better news this week:
addition of two more rabbits! my parents saw two rabbits up for adoption at this pet shop near our house, and they decided to adopt both mother and daughter, so now i have 4 female rabbits at my house. bad thing is, they can't stay together. the original two are always attacking the two new ones, and so we have to separate them, the two new ones in a cage while the other two still roaming around the balcony. hopefully they'll get used to their presence soon enough!
Sunday, October 4, 2009
i miss all of you!
i miss all my friends.
everyone's just so busy these days. and i'm not going online much already, so well i've been living a unhappening life these days. plus all the craziness of the workload. enough to drive me crazy. i've an even greater inertia these days to do work.
good thing corp fin test was ok. if not i can really go kill myself.
i hate this coming week too. corp fin itself have 3 submissions in a span of a week. wonderful.
and my neckache is REALLY bothering me. gastric too.
i feel like falling sick to rest. so ironic. sigh...
everyone's just so busy these days. and i'm not going online much already, so well i've been living a unhappening life these days. plus all the craziness of the workload. enough to drive me crazy. i've an even greater inertia these days to do work.
good thing corp fin test was ok. if not i can really go kill myself.
i hate this coming week too. corp fin itself have 3 submissions in a span of a week. wonderful.
and my neckache is REALLY bothering me. gastric too.
i feel like falling sick to rest. so ironic. sigh...
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
ranting...
just what is wrong with me?
gastric. insomnia. neckache.
worst thing is, my gastric came during my math paper just now. i ended up doing only 4/10 qns properly. and tada! i only got 4 right.
wonderful rite. it's been a REALLY long time since i failed any exam.
and i haven't been sleeping well at all. i always take AGES to get to sleep nowadays. plus my neckache has been keeping me awake too. there's just this niggling ache on the right side of my night down to my shoulder. dunno why also.
sigh. i hate my life now. it's too packed already. last week didnt even feel like recess week at all, and now it's over.
and i still have case analysis due on friday plus mid-term on sat. i can't afford to screw up any other exam...
gastric. insomnia. neckache.
worst thing is, my gastric came during my math paper just now. i ended up doing only 4/10 qns properly. and tada! i only got 4 right.
wonderful rite. it's been a REALLY long time since i failed any exam.
and i haven't been sleeping well at all. i always take AGES to get to sleep nowadays. plus my neckache has been keeping me awake too. there's just this niggling ache on the right side of my night down to my shoulder. dunno why also.
sigh. i hate my life now. it's too packed already. last week didnt even feel like recess week at all, and now it's over.
and i still have case analysis due on friday plus mid-term on sat. i can't afford to screw up any other exam...
Monday, September 28, 2009
低调
suddenly fell in love with this song. gives me a lot of images.
张栋梁 - 低调
嬉笑 打闹 拥抱
留下了那么多开心合照
互相取暖依靠 熬过了最低潮
一起生活 也一起埋怨过
走过最好与最糟
我在心里想的不用说明 你知道
晨昏日夜颠倒
这房子突然没从前热闹
散落一地微笑 没有人去打扫
感情很微妙 再多付出也好
再多关心多徒劳
爱从来就没有固定的轨道
它最后停在哪里谁知道
我的难过是如此低调
因为不想打扰
我在寂寞的墙角 努力的对自己好
你用微笑回报朋友或情人不重要
我的悲伤是如此低调
傻子才会哭闹 就算你发现也好
我想你一定会选择 假装不知道
难到是我对我自己不够好
只怕我自己的掩饰不够好
张栋梁 - 低调
嬉笑 打闹 拥抱
留下了那么多开心合照
互相取暖依靠 熬过了最低潮
一起生活 也一起埋怨过
走过最好与最糟
我在心里想的不用说明 你知道
晨昏日夜颠倒
这房子突然没从前热闹
散落一地微笑 没有人去打扫
感情很微妙 再多付出也好
再多关心多徒劳
爱从来就没有固定的轨道
它最后停在哪里谁知道
我的难过是如此低调
因为不想打扰
我在寂寞的墙角 努力的对自己好
你用微笑回报朋友或情人不重要
我的悲伤是如此低调
傻子才会哭闹 就算你发现也好
我想你一定会选择 假装不知道
难到是我对我自己不够好
只怕我自己的掩饰不够好
Friday, September 25, 2009
porcupine
oh man i feel so good after gym-ing. it's been a REALLY long time since i exercised. feel all the fats accumulating which is really disgusting.
and i hereby announce that i haven't started any academic work for this week! wonderful rite. 3 mid-terms next week and yet i haven even started studying any. how productive can i get.
and i wanted to say, i'm seriously disillusioned about friendships these days. people may say i think too much blah blah, but yes, i really feel disgusted sometimes. you know sometimes i wish people can live without friends, but for me, that can never happen. it's just that i never once had 100% trust in a friend. maybe after primary school cos of my bad experiences. people who were once your good friends would one day start moving on, leaving you behind, and when you next meet, there'll be nothing much to talk about already. so sad rite.
i think my fence around myself is getting bigger. i am watching my distance. i dun like people to step into my fence for a while and then leave thereafter. it's saddening, but i just dun want to be hurt.
i really wish you were here to listen to all my daily rants and rubbish. but i know it's not possible anymore.
and i hereby announce that i haven't started any academic work for this week! wonderful rite. 3 mid-terms next week and yet i haven even started studying any. how productive can i get.
and i wanted to say, i'm seriously disillusioned about friendships these days. people may say i think too much blah blah, but yes, i really feel disgusted sometimes. you know sometimes i wish people can live without friends, but for me, that can never happen. it's just that i never once had 100% trust in a friend. maybe after primary school cos of my bad experiences. people who were once your good friends would one day start moving on, leaving you behind, and when you next meet, there'll be nothing much to talk about already. so sad rite.
i think my fence around myself is getting bigger. i am watching my distance. i dun like people to step into my fence for a while and then leave thereafter. it's saddening, but i just dun want to be hurt.
i really wish you were here to listen to all my daily rants and rubbish. but i know it's not possible anymore.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
整条街都是恋爱的人 我独自走在暖风的夜
i'm supposed to be in school doing work. but ended up surfing the net. but well, it's still quite early in the morning lar. heh.
received a sms from the deans office ytd inviting me to go for this scholarship interview today. i dun understand why i get such invitations when i didn't apply this year, but when i applied last year, i didn't get any. lets just hope for the best. i haven't even told my parents about the biz study award cos i dun want to disappoint them if i end up not getting it. ah well lets just see how it turns out.
maybe it's good they only told me ytd, so i dun have much time to get nervous about it. i suck at interviews man.
a lot of things to do, yet i dunno where and how to start. i'm still doing my prof's stuff. and it's already thursday. and i have tuition tmr and saturday too. *claps*
tuesday, 29th sep: math mid-term
friday, 2nd oct: biz pol mid-term case analysis due
saturday, 3rd oct: corp fin test 1
tuesday, 6th oct: corp fin critique due
friday, 9th oct: corp fin tutorial 3 due
monday, 12th oct: risk & insurance mid-term, corp fin case due
wednesday, 14th oct: biz pol short grp presentation
tada! the stuff i have to study/do for the next three weeks after recess week.
only managed to meet my cph gang and jun this recess week. why so sad!=( i really miss all of them....
and anyway, i was watching this taiwan variety show last night called 百万大歌星, and 陶喆 was the guest for that episode. never was i so mesmerised by him. seriously. suddenly i just found him so charming. haha! but yes, i also SUDDENLY fell in love with the lyrics of this song:
寂寞的季节 陶喆
风吹落最后一片叶
我的心也飘着雪
爱只能往回忆里堆叠
oh~给下个季节
忽然间树梢冒花蕊
我怎么会都没有感觉
oh~整条街都是恋爱的人
我独自走在暖风的夜
多想要向过去告别
当季节不停更迭 oh~
却还是少一点坚决
在这寂寞的季节
艳阳高照在那海边
爱情盛开的世界
远远看著热闹一切
oh~我记得那狂烈
窗外是快枯黄的叶
感伤在心中有一些
oh~ 我了解那些爱过的人
心是如何慢慢在凋谢
多想要向过去告别
当季节不停更迭 oh~
却永远少一点坚决
在这寂寞的季节
又走过风吹的冷冽
最后一盏灯熄灭
从回忆我慢慢穿越
在这寂寞的季节
还是寂寞的季节
一样寂寞的季节
received a sms from the deans office ytd inviting me to go for this scholarship interview today. i dun understand why i get such invitations when i didn't apply this year, but when i applied last year, i didn't get any. lets just hope for the best. i haven't even told my parents about the biz study award cos i dun want to disappoint them if i end up not getting it. ah well lets just see how it turns out.
maybe it's good they only told me ytd, so i dun have much time to get nervous about it. i suck at interviews man.
a lot of things to do, yet i dunno where and how to start. i'm still doing my prof's stuff. and it's already thursday. and i have tuition tmr and saturday too. *claps*
tuesday, 29th sep: math mid-term
friday, 2nd oct: biz pol mid-term case analysis due
saturday, 3rd oct: corp fin test 1
tuesday, 6th oct: corp fin critique due
friday, 9th oct: corp fin tutorial 3 due
monday, 12th oct: risk & insurance mid-term, corp fin case due
wednesday, 14th oct: biz pol short grp presentation
tada! the stuff i have to study/do for the next three weeks after recess week.
only managed to meet my cph gang and jun this recess week. why so sad!=( i really miss all of them....
and anyway, i was watching this taiwan variety show last night called 百万大歌星, and 陶喆 was the guest for that episode. never was i so mesmerised by him. seriously. suddenly i just found him so charming. haha! but yes, i also SUDDENLY fell in love with the lyrics of this song:
寂寞的季节 陶喆
风吹落最后一片叶
我的心也飘着雪
爱只能往回忆里堆叠
oh~给下个季节
忽然间树梢冒花蕊
我怎么会都没有感觉
oh~整条街都是恋爱的人
我独自走在暖风的夜
多想要向过去告别
当季节不停更迭 oh~
却还是少一点坚决
在这寂寞的季节
艳阳高照在那海边
爱情盛开的世界
远远看著热闹一切
oh~我记得那狂烈
窗外是快枯黄的叶
感伤在心中有一些
oh~ 我了解那些爱过的人
心是如何慢慢在凋谢
多想要向过去告别
当季节不停更迭 oh~
却永远少一点坚决
在这寂寞的季节
又走过风吹的冷冽
最后一盏灯熄灭
从回忆我慢慢穿越
在这寂寞的季节
还是寂寞的季节
一样寂寞的季节
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
you.
i really miss you. i think i cried myself to sleep last night. ah well.
so many things to do, so little time.
so many things to do, so little time.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
one after another
omg i so want to knock my head against the wall. how can the english of uni undergrads be sooooo bad?!!?
this sem is soooo damn screwed up.
please tell me a good reason to be happy. sigh...
this sem is soooo damn screwed up.
please tell me a good reason to be happy. sigh...
Sunday, September 13, 2009
i want 48 hours.
I WANT TO SCREAM!!!
too many things to do, too little time!
have been doing my prof's stuff for the last few days, and i still can't be very productive at it.
plus the many many other things to do for my modules.
this sem is a killer.
i want 48 hours a day. i'm SERIOUS.
i'm toggling with the idea of skipping the whole week of school just to get everything done, but i just can't myself to. if not i'll have a hard time catching up.
good thing recess week is coming.....
wish me luck man...
too many things to do, too little time!
have been doing my prof's stuff for the last few days, and i still can't be very productive at it.
plus the many many other things to do for my modules.
this sem is a killer.
i want 48 hours a day. i'm SERIOUS.
i'm toggling with the idea of skipping the whole week of school just to get everything done, but i just can't myself to. if not i'll have a hard time catching up.
good thing recess week is coming.....
wish me luck man...
Monday, September 7, 2009
disillusioned.
i feel like talking to someone, but i just can't think of anyone.
i feel so lost nowadays, totally aimless, just doing my tutorials, readings and cases day after day.
i feel like meeting up with some friends, but i dunno who to call, or maybe dun even have time to do so.
it's been a long time since i felt such emotional emptiness.
and mum's retrenchment has kept me thinking for days already.
not helping that this semester is freaking screwed up.
not helping also that it seems my efforts this sem is not being recognised at all. i've been so much more consistent this semester, doing my work, studying in school so end up coming home late, etc.
but yet, all i get from my dad is 'how come she still got time to watch variety show and play games?'. do you know how painful it is? to painstakingly put in so much effort to do well in my academic, but yet, even before i can do so, my parents just stab me with such comments. makes me wonder whether i should go through all that trouble. i guess at the end of the day, i only have myself to prove to, but i can't help but want to prove to my dad that studies is not everything.
it's really demoralising.
when all you hear since young are naggings and complaints, you forget how compliments actually sound like. i can't even recall a time when my parents actually complimented me.
and when you're always the person saying 'yes' to others, and other people saying 'no' to you, after a while, you get tired of the world, you get tired of putting on a strong front. sometimes, i just wish i can hide in my own shell and do my own stuff, and maybe no one will even realise it.
why am i studying biz then?!?!
i feel so lost nowadays, totally aimless, just doing my tutorials, readings and cases day after day.
i feel like meeting up with some friends, but i dunno who to call, or maybe dun even have time to do so.
it's been a long time since i felt such emotional emptiness.
and mum's retrenchment has kept me thinking for days already.
not helping that this semester is freaking screwed up.
not helping also that it seems my efforts this sem is not being recognised at all. i've been so much more consistent this semester, doing my work, studying in school so end up coming home late, etc.
but yet, all i get from my dad is 'how come she still got time to watch variety show and play games?'. do you know how painful it is? to painstakingly put in so much effort to do well in my academic, but yet, even before i can do so, my parents just stab me with such comments. makes me wonder whether i should go through all that trouble. i guess at the end of the day, i only have myself to prove to, but i can't help but want to prove to my dad that studies is not everything.
it's really demoralising.
when all you hear since young are naggings and complaints, you forget how compliments actually sound like. i can't even recall a time when my parents actually complimented me.
and when you're always the person saying 'yes' to others, and other people saying 'no' to you, after a while, you get tired of the world, you get tired of putting on a strong front. sometimes, i just wish i can hide in my own shell and do my own stuff, and maybe no one will even realise it.
why am i studying biz then?!?!
Thursday, September 3, 2009
i shall be more thrifty.
my mum just told me that she's likely to get retrenched. somehow i thought my family would escape unscathed from this recession. but i guess probably not.
so that means being more thrifty from now on.
i dunno if i like the idea of my mum being a housewife, but i seriously doubt she'll be able to find a decent job at the age of 55. probably it's a good time to retire, but then again, dad is going to retire soon in 3 years' time, and bro and i would just have started work, with a lot of uncertainty and a low starting pay. and given our family expenditure, i wonder how we're going to survive the next two years (before i start work).
ah well, not like i can do anything about it now. i dun suppose my parents expect us to find a part-time job, and i just hope my income from tuition is able to finance most of my expenditure. and i really hope the email about the bizad school study award is true, cos that means at least another 3k, which prob will mean a lot to my family at this time.
i guess at least it's good that both my bro and i are undergrads already. this reminds me of like 5-6 years back, when my mum got retrenched also. it's not exactly a difficult time for my family, but i suppose it can be rather worrying. or maybe i just haven't felt the true impact of it.
anyhow, it's damn scary that it's already the end of week 4 of school already. have been so super busy these few weeks, doing tutorial after tutorial, case after case, reading after reading. i actually feel rather happy that i'm consistent this sem, but sometimes it can get really overwhelming.
and i'm actually rather glad that cai joshua and i are putting aside our weds just to mug. really makes me miss 6h times a lot. study play study play. but now instead of squash/bball/floorball/frisbee/handball, cai and i played this old school game called puzzle fighter. we were playing at fass bk, and played until they closed the whole place. power rite. that day i only ended up doing 3 qns of my math tutorial.
and i've been on the verge of falling sick for a few days already. my throat has been sore for the last few days, without a cough, or fever or flu. you know i actually hope to fall sick, cos i really just want to rest. but given my 'healthy' track record, and the fact that my wishes never come true, i think i should forget about it.
sometimes i think the only motivation for me to go to school is the fact that i can meet friends, whether arranged or unarranged.
so that means being more thrifty from now on.
i dunno if i like the idea of my mum being a housewife, but i seriously doubt she'll be able to find a decent job at the age of 55. probably it's a good time to retire, but then again, dad is going to retire soon in 3 years' time, and bro and i would just have started work, with a lot of uncertainty and a low starting pay. and given our family expenditure, i wonder how we're going to survive the next two years (before i start work).
ah well, not like i can do anything about it now. i dun suppose my parents expect us to find a part-time job, and i just hope my income from tuition is able to finance most of my expenditure. and i really hope the email about the bizad school study award is true, cos that means at least another 3k, which prob will mean a lot to my family at this time.
i guess at least it's good that both my bro and i are undergrads already. this reminds me of like 5-6 years back, when my mum got retrenched also. it's not exactly a difficult time for my family, but i suppose it can be rather worrying. or maybe i just haven't felt the true impact of it.
anyhow, it's damn scary that it's already the end of week 4 of school already. have been so super busy these few weeks, doing tutorial after tutorial, case after case, reading after reading. i actually feel rather happy that i'm consistent this sem, but sometimes it can get really overwhelming.
and i'm actually rather glad that cai joshua and i are putting aside our weds just to mug. really makes me miss 6h times a lot. study play study play. but now instead of squash/bball/floorball/frisbee/handball, cai and i played this old school game called puzzle fighter. we were playing at fass bk, and played until they closed the whole place. power rite. that day i only ended up doing 3 qns of my math tutorial.
and i've been on the verge of falling sick for a few days already. my throat has been sore for the last few days, without a cough, or fever or flu. you know i actually hope to fall sick, cos i really just want to rest. but given my 'healthy' track record, and the fact that my wishes never come true, i think i should forget about it.
sometimes i think the only motivation for me to go to school is the fact that i can meet friends, whether arranged or unarranged.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
29082009
五月天DNA創造演唱會
(movie)
01. 軋車
02. 爆肝
03. 賭神
04. 愛情萬歲
05. HOSEE
06. 你不是真正的快樂
(movie)
07. 生存以上 生活以下
08. 瘋狂世界+候鳥
09. 一顆蘋果
10. 我心中尚未崩壞的地方
11. 知足 '07年最知足版
12. 人生海海
13. 春天的吶喊
14. 叫我第一名
15. 雌雄同體
16. 離開地球表面
17. DNA
(talking: self intro, Ming: #18 鼓聲若響 + #19 墓仔埔也敢去)
20. 笑忘歌
21. 垃圾車 (朋友版)
22. 如煙
23. 孫悟空 (member sing + solo)
(movie)
24. 約翰藍儂+我
25. 最重要的小事
26. 天使
27. 倔強
(dance clip)
28. 戀愛ING (L.O.V.E)
(talking: thank list)
29. 放肆
30. 夜訪吸血鬼
31. 突然好想你
32. 溫柔 (還你自由版)
33. 明白 (Masa solo)
34. 擁抱
35. 終結孤單
36. 志明與春嬌
37. 愛情的模樣
38. 出頭天
五月天DNA創造演唱會
(movie)
01. 軋車
02. 爆肝
03. 賭神
04. 愛情萬歲
05. HOSEE
06. 你不是真正的快樂
(movie)
07. 生存以上 生活以下
08. 瘋狂世界+候鳥
09. 一顆蘋果
10. 我心中尚未崩壞的地方
11. 知足 '07年最知足版
12. 人生海海
13. 春天的吶喊
14. 叫我第一名
15. 雌雄同體
16. 離開地球表面
17. DNA
(talking: self intro, Ming: #18 鼓聲若響 + #19 墓仔埔也敢去)
20. 笑忘歌
21. 垃圾車 (朋友版)
22. 如煙
23. 孫悟空 (member sing + solo)
(movie)
24. 約翰藍儂+我
25. 最重要的小事
26. 天使
27. 倔強
(dance clip)
28. 戀愛ING (L.O.V.E)
(talking: thank list)
29. 放肆
30. 夜訪吸血鬼
31. 突然好想你
32. 溫柔 (還你自由版)
33. 明白 (Masa solo)
34. 擁抱
35. 終結孤單
36. 志明與春嬌
37. 愛情的模樣
38. 出頭天
Thursday, August 27, 2009
busy busy
i can't believe i'm already so busy in week three of school. so many tutorials to do, so many quizzes, so many readings to do.
but i guess this will only be good for me, it's just that the process will be rather tough.
so many people flying off. somehow i really regret not going for exchange. i guess summer program is but just a preview to how a real sep is like. and seeing all my friends who had enjoyed or are enjoying their sep is making me so jealous! well well not a good time to regret!
and talking to ben cai last night while sending guanghao off is kinda making me miss rj too. miss match supports, miss trainings, miss playing sports.
it's friday tmr! oh man 3 weeks of school just passed. and and...that means...
MAYDAY CONCERT COMING UP! =D
but i guess this will only be good for me, it's just that the process will be rather tough.
so many people flying off. somehow i really regret not going for exchange. i guess summer program is but just a preview to how a real sep is like. and seeing all my friends who had enjoyed or are enjoying their sep is making me so jealous! well well not a good time to regret!
and talking to ben cai last night while sending guanghao off is kinda making me miss rj too. miss match supports, miss trainings, miss playing sports.
it's friday tmr! oh man 3 weeks of school just passed. and and...that means...
MAYDAY CONCERT COMING UP! =D
Sunday, August 23, 2009
the unspoken emotions
just sent mel off at the airport. now, i have fewer and fewer friends in nus bizad. and the sad thing is, i dun even know the freshies. i dun like this feeling, but what can i do rite? other than admiting that i'm indeed old already.
someone called me 'old bird' last night at d&d. indeed i am. sometimes i dun even feel like i can connect with my freshies anymore. i dunno why this is happening, but yeah it is happening, very unfortunately. i guess i'm lucky that every sem in biz brings me different memories with different groups of friends. but sometimes, i wish these friendships would last longer.
and anyway, being at the airport today brought back many memories. i dunno whether to classify these memories as positive or negative, but yes everytime i think of them, i feel like tearing. i know i can't just live in the past like i have always been for the last few years, but i just can't help it. the airport just reminds me of you.
and i can't stand it that you are totally avoiding me. i can't stand it that you're talking to all my friends other than me. why can't our friendship return to normal. i just dunno what the freaking hell you're trying to do. i have every single image of what we used to do together, and this feeling sucks.
i think it's worse when you've been through all these but nothing came out of it as compared to having no memories at all. my life just went down the hill after that.
i suppose i'm over you, i'm just not over the memories, if someone even gets what i mean.
and i'm not just emo-ing over you, sometimes i wonder how much my friendship with others is worth in their eyes. sometimes i really feel that i can go into hiding and nobody will come and look for me. i feel that i'm left behind by everyone else, and i'm just left stranded on my own.
and i hate it when i realised that i can't connect with you anymore.
i really really miss being in cph, or being overseas for that matter. at least it brings my mind away from all the negative emotions i feel over here. and life's just so much simpler. somehow i regret not going for sep.
it sucks having such a strong front. everyone thinks you can handle everything yourself, and nobody bothers to help you. even when i feel horrible, i dun even want to talk to anyone. maybe it's just my life. maybe i'm destined to remain lonely and closed up all my life.
someone called me 'old bird' last night at d&d. indeed i am. sometimes i dun even feel like i can connect with my freshies anymore. i dunno why this is happening, but yeah it is happening, very unfortunately. i guess i'm lucky that every sem in biz brings me different memories with different groups of friends. but sometimes, i wish these friendships would last longer.
and anyway, being at the airport today brought back many memories. i dunno whether to classify these memories as positive or negative, but yes everytime i think of them, i feel like tearing. i know i can't just live in the past like i have always been for the last few years, but i just can't help it. the airport just reminds me of you.
and i can't stand it that you are totally avoiding me. i can't stand it that you're talking to all my friends other than me. why can't our friendship return to normal. i just dunno what the freaking hell you're trying to do. i have every single image of what we used to do together, and this feeling sucks.
i think it's worse when you've been through all these but nothing came out of it as compared to having no memories at all. my life just went down the hill after that.
i suppose i'm over you, i'm just not over the memories, if someone even gets what i mean.
and i'm not just emo-ing over you, sometimes i wonder how much my friendship with others is worth in their eyes. sometimes i really feel that i can go into hiding and nobody will come and look for me. i feel that i'm left behind by everyone else, and i'm just left stranded on my own.
and i hate it when i realised that i can't connect with you anymore.
i really really miss being in cph, or being overseas for that matter. at least it brings my mind away from all the negative emotions i feel over here. and life's just so much simpler. somehow i regret not going for sep.
it sucks having such a strong front. everyone thinks you can handle everything yourself, and nobody bothers to help you. even when i feel horrible, i dun even want to talk to anyone. maybe it's just my life. maybe i'm destined to remain lonely and closed up all my life.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
可不可以不勇敢
可不可以不勇敢 - 范玮琪
词:姚若龙作曲:陈小霞
你用浓浓的鼻音说一点也没事
反正又美又痛才是爱的本质
一个人旅行也许更有意思
和他真正结束才能重新开始
几年贴心的日子换分手两个字
你却严格只准自己哭一下子
看着你努力想微笑的样子
我的心像大雨将至那么潮湿
我们可不可以不勇敢?
当伤太重心太酸无力承担
就算现在女人很流行释然
好像什么困境都知道该怎么办
我们可不可以不勇敢?
当爱太累梦太乱没有答案
难道不能坦白的放声哭喊?
要从心底拿走一个人很痛很难
one of my all-time favourite songs. i never failed to tear whenever i listen to this song...=(
词:姚若龙作曲:陈小霞
你用浓浓的鼻音说一点也没事
反正又美又痛才是爱的本质
一个人旅行也许更有意思
和他真正结束才能重新开始
几年贴心的日子换分手两个字
你却严格只准自己哭一下子
看着你努力想微笑的样子
我的心像大雨将至那么潮湿
我们可不可以不勇敢?
当伤太重心太酸无力承担
就算现在女人很流行释然
好像什么困境都知道该怎么办
我们可不可以不勇敢?
当爱太累梦太乱没有答案
难道不能坦白的放声哭喊?
要从心底拿走一个人很痛很难
one of my all-time favourite songs. i never failed to tear whenever i listen to this song...=(
singapore life
haven't blogged ever since i came back to singapore. the last 7 weeks just seemed like a dream, and now i'm back adjusting to the rather hectic life.
the independent life no longer exists. you can no longer do things without the scrutiny of other people, whether at home or in school. walking around in cph is like you're living in your own world, different from the 'norm' over there. you dun understand danish, and sometimes they dun understand you too. but slowly, you get used to it.
back in singapore, there are just so many other things to worry about, including pleasing other people, meeting up with friends, etc etc. it's not that i find it a hassle to do that, i LOVE meeting my friends, but i guess the life here is just not as simple as that in cph.
and friendships changed. i guess we should recognise that too. i hate it when that happens, but yes, as your once-close-friends meet other friends, you know that things will no longer stay the same.
argh i just get so much more emotional back here than when i was over in cph.
ah well, shall talk about happier stuff now.
met up and meeting up with quite a few people since i came back!
sunday: mahjong with cherry
monday: dinner with kim and amy
tuesday: dinner with joce and mel
wednesday: movie + shopping with bro
thursday: kbox with charles + supper
friday: lunch with cph gang and bencai + dinner with BR (?!?!)
i'm officially broke...=(
the independent life no longer exists. you can no longer do things without the scrutiny of other people, whether at home or in school. walking around in cph is like you're living in your own world, different from the 'norm' over there. you dun understand danish, and sometimes they dun understand you too. but slowly, you get used to it.
back in singapore, there are just so many other things to worry about, including pleasing other people, meeting up with friends, etc etc. it's not that i find it a hassle to do that, i LOVE meeting my friends, but i guess the life here is just not as simple as that in cph.
and friendships changed. i guess we should recognise that too. i hate it when that happens, but yes, as your once-close-friends meet other friends, you know that things will no longer stay the same.
argh i just get so much more emotional back here than when i was over in cph.
ah well, shall talk about happier stuff now.
met up and meeting up with quite a few people since i came back!
sunday: mahjong with cherry
monday: dinner with kim and amy
tuesday: dinner with joce and mel
wednesday: movie + shopping with bro
thursday: kbox with charles + supper
friday: lunch with cph gang and bencai + dinner with BR (?!?!)
i'm officially broke...=(
Friday, August 7, 2009
end of isup
last day in copenhagen.
kinda already got used to the life here, and now we have to leave already.
will always miss the freedom, the cycling around, meeting the other 4 of them, grocery shopping, deciding my own meals, and of cos the weather. i guess coming here kinda taught me a lot. to be more independent, and of cos it tells me that i can actually live alone without my family and to rely and trust my friends.
it's amazing when i think of our 6 weeks of friendship. sounds so short for a normal friendship to work out, but yet, when the 5 of us are just thrown together, strangers to begin with, and having to live with each other for 6 weeks, i guess our friendships are equivalent to those of 2 years. i think i'll miss going down to each other's residences to hang out, to cook meals, or whatever. because we know that we only have each other in a foreign land.
i kinda look forward to school now, i miss seeing my friends, even miss going for lessons. you know it's amazing when i realise i'm actually a lot less emo in cph then i am in singapore. i seriously wonder why. maybe there are just a lot more other things to think about here than in singapore.
oh and i'm also looking forward to friends coming into uni. for one, ben cai is in biz too. and then there's cherry in fass too. now there are so many people to jio for meals already. heh.
ok i shall sleep now. packing was such a chore. my luggage is sooo full that i have to sit on it to close it. ended up transferring so many things to my handcarry (which is going to be carried by kevin.=P), but yeah. i hope the flights back to singapore would be smooth.
see you guys back in singapore 11.15am on saturday!=)
kinda already got used to the life here, and now we have to leave already.
will always miss the freedom, the cycling around, meeting the other 4 of them, grocery shopping, deciding my own meals, and of cos the weather. i guess coming here kinda taught me a lot. to be more independent, and of cos it tells me that i can actually live alone without my family and to rely and trust my friends.
it's amazing when i think of our 6 weeks of friendship. sounds so short for a normal friendship to work out, but yet, when the 5 of us are just thrown together, strangers to begin with, and having to live with each other for 6 weeks, i guess our friendships are equivalent to those of 2 years. i think i'll miss going down to each other's residences to hang out, to cook meals, or whatever. because we know that we only have each other in a foreign land.
i kinda look forward to school now, i miss seeing my friends, even miss going for lessons. you know it's amazing when i realise i'm actually a lot less emo in cph then i am in singapore. i seriously wonder why. maybe there are just a lot more other things to think about here than in singapore.
oh and i'm also looking forward to friends coming into uni. for one, ben cai is in biz too. and then there's cherry in fass too. now there are so many people to jio for meals already. heh.
ok i shall sleep now. packing was such a chore. my luggage is sooo full that i have to sit on it to close it. ended up transferring so many things to my handcarry (which is going to be carried by kevin.=P), but yeah. i hope the flights back to singapore would be smooth.
see you guys back in singapore 11.15am on saturday!=)
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
back on saturday!
just to say that i'll be leaving singapore earlier than planned. will reach singapore 8th august (just in time for national day, see how patriotic i am?=P), so yeah at least i'll have sufficient time to unpack, recover from jetlag, etc before school starts.
if you're wondering why i suddenly change my flight date, it's cos initially three of us extended our trip so we could like travel to one more country before we fly back to singapore. but in the end we decided not to, and i figured there wasn't much point staying in cph anyway, so my mum suggested i go back earlier, and so yep. that explains it.
so after my departure date was brought forward, i suddenly realised i dun have much time in cph already, and my holidays is REALLY going to end very soon.
oh and i had my first and last danish exam! i should just say it wasn't meant to be completed in 4 hours. YES it was a FOUR hour paper and yet all of us couldn't finish it. i think i did like 80% of the paper, while according to some girl who wrote to the prof, she said most people completed only 50-60% of the paper. so well, i suppose i did ok relatively lar.
and prof sum is hilarious. he emailed me to say he needs help and asked me when i'm flying back. i think he really can't do without an assistant. haha.=) back to busy busy times! and of cos tuition too. 7 weeks of escaping is over!
i'll reflect about this entire 6-weeks soon. for now, i shall go sleep and wake up late tmr (have been waking up unhealthily late the past few days). still have one 10-page report to do before i'm officially done for summer program.=)
if you're wondering why i suddenly change my flight date, it's cos initially three of us extended our trip so we could like travel to one more country before we fly back to singapore. but in the end we decided not to, and i figured there wasn't much point staying in cph anyway, so my mum suggested i go back earlier, and so yep. that explains it.
so after my departure date was brought forward, i suddenly realised i dun have much time in cph already, and my holidays is REALLY going to end very soon.
oh and i had my first and last danish exam! i should just say it wasn't meant to be completed in 4 hours. YES it was a FOUR hour paper and yet all of us couldn't finish it. i think i did like 80% of the paper, while according to some girl who wrote to the prof, she said most people completed only 50-60% of the paper. so well, i suppose i did ok relatively lar.
and prof sum is hilarious. he emailed me to say he needs help and asked me when i'm flying back. i think he really can't do without an assistant. haha.=) back to busy busy times! and of cos tuition too. 7 weeks of escaping is over!
i'll reflect about this entire 6-weeks soon. for now, i shall go sleep and wake up late tmr (have been waking up unhealthily late the past few days). still have one 10-page report to do before i'm officially done for summer program.=)
Friday, July 31, 2009
disappearing act.=)
i know i've disappeared for quite a while. haven't been updating ever since i came back from the oslo cruise. i'd wanted to update in chronological order, but i haven't gotten down to writing about the oslo cruise, so well, i'm kinda stuck.
in any case, i went to oslo, and then to amsterdam and brussels in the following week, skipping 3 lessons. amsterdam and brussels was fun. very different experience, both good and bad. was pretty traumatised in brussels cos of the MANY weird people hanging around on the streets, but generally the chocolate paradise didn't disappoint. amsterdam was good too, stayed in the red light district, witnessed many window girls, aka prostitutes, standing just behind a trnsparent door with beds in the room trying to solicit customers. these are definitely things you won't see in clean and green singapore.
anyway, it's nearing the end of our holidays, and i do feel quite sad about it. like soon, we'll be back in s'pore mugging. end of our touring, end of our thinking-what-to-eat days. 6 weeks just ZOOOMED past. feels like ytd when i waved goodbye to my family, and now, i'm going home in 1+ more week. i'm not even prepared for my exam. =(
it's becoming quite fun thinking about what to cook for my meals. all the small little things here that excite me, like receiving fb msges, emails from my friends back at home. even wishing someone happy birthday, or sending postcards back to my friends in s'pore becomes such an exciting thing to do.
and now, as i try to pack my stuff back into my luggage, i feel quite she bu de, 7 weeks of holidays just like that. yes i've spent hell lot of money, but i really think it's an experience of a lifetime. with my family's financial situation, there's no way we can come here without the 'studying' intention.
ah well. anyway, i got slightly frustrated cos the internet connection at cbs was down for about 30 hours before this. i couldn't even go online, and that's my only source of entertainment. thank goodness it's up now, if not i'd really go crazy.
I MUST START STUDYING! my paper's on monday, and i have another 10-page report to write. good luck to me!
and we're still going for day trips on friday and saturday. that leaves only sunday to mug. WONDERFUL.
(i really dunno why you seem to not be acknowledging this friendship of yours. yes we haven't exactly been talking for a while, but is there a need to talk to all MY friends but yet totally ignoring me? thanks ah, you made me even more disillusioned now. you totally screwed up my life do you know that?)
in any case, i went to oslo, and then to amsterdam and brussels in the following week, skipping 3 lessons. amsterdam and brussels was fun. very different experience, both good and bad. was pretty traumatised in brussels cos of the MANY weird people hanging around on the streets, but generally the chocolate paradise didn't disappoint. amsterdam was good too, stayed in the red light district, witnessed many window girls, aka prostitutes, standing just behind a trnsparent door with beds in the room trying to solicit customers. these are definitely things you won't see in clean and green singapore.
anyway, it's nearing the end of our holidays, and i do feel quite sad about it. like soon, we'll be back in s'pore mugging. end of our touring, end of our thinking-what-to-eat days. 6 weeks just ZOOOMED past. feels like ytd when i waved goodbye to my family, and now, i'm going home in 1+ more week. i'm not even prepared for my exam. =(
it's becoming quite fun thinking about what to cook for my meals. all the small little things here that excite me, like receiving fb msges, emails from my friends back at home. even wishing someone happy birthday, or sending postcards back to my friends in s'pore becomes such an exciting thing to do.
and now, as i try to pack my stuff back into my luggage, i feel quite she bu de, 7 weeks of holidays just like that. yes i've spent hell lot of money, but i really think it's an experience of a lifetime. with my family's financial situation, there's no way we can come here without the 'studying' intention.
ah well. anyway, i got slightly frustrated cos the internet connection at cbs was down for about 30 hours before this. i couldn't even go online, and that's my only source of entertainment. thank goodness it's up now, if not i'd really go crazy.
I MUST START STUDYING! my paper's on monday, and i have another 10-page report to write. good luck to me!
and we're still going for day trips on friday and saturday. that leaves only sunday to mug. WONDERFUL.
(i really dunno why you seem to not be acknowledging this friendship of yours. yes we haven't exactly been talking for a while, but is there a need to talk to all MY friends but yet totally ignoring me? thanks ah, you made me even more disillusioned now. you totally screwed up my life do you know that?)
Thursday, July 16, 2009
supermarket!
kinda hooked onto this song! the lyrics is sooo sweet! imagine comparing your love for someone to a supermarket, open 24 hrs, and providing all the essentials for that person.
awwww....
曹格 - Supermarket 超级市场
对对对 你说的全都对
我的动作常常容易让人误会
快用亲亲在我脸上签个名
让全宇宙都知道我是你的谁
越来越爱 早上都赖床的星期天
oh 爱 下午沙发上的电影院
爱黄昏牵着手地逛街聊天
爱夜晚咬耳朵地幸福缠绵
想当你隔壁家的supermarket
二十四小时都欢迎光临
幽默风趣无限量供应
任劳任怨都是特价品
想当你一个人的supermarket
你担心的人都不准靠近
幸福快乐买一再送一
预定真爱保护无限期
谁对对对 你是真的很美
我的脑袋天马行空幻想你一堆
快用撒娇给我超级大任务
看我货真价实还是天花乱坠
越来越爱 早上都赖床的星期天
oh 爱 下午沙发上的电影院
爱黄昏牵着手地逛街聊天
爱夜晚咬耳朵地幸福缠绵
想当你隔壁家的supermarket
二十四小时都欢迎光临
幽默风趣无限量供应
任劳任怨都是特价品
想当你一个人的supermarket
你担心的人都不准靠近
幸福快乐买一再送一
预定真爱保护无限期
我内心的那个小孩
会快快成长让你放心地依赖
很帅 很天才 给你美好的未来
想当你隔壁家的supermarket
二十四小时都欢迎光临
幽默风趣无限量供应
任劳任怨都是特价品
想当你一个人的supermarket
你担心的人都不准靠近
幸福快乐买一再送一
预定真爱保护无限期
awwww....
曹格 - Supermarket 超级市场
对对对 你说的全都对
我的动作常常容易让人误会
快用亲亲在我脸上签个名
让全宇宙都知道我是你的谁
越来越爱 早上都赖床的星期天
oh 爱 下午沙发上的电影院
爱黄昏牵着手地逛街聊天
爱夜晚咬耳朵地幸福缠绵
想当你隔壁家的supermarket
二十四小时都欢迎光临
幽默风趣无限量供应
任劳任怨都是特价品
想当你一个人的supermarket
你担心的人都不准靠近
幸福快乐买一再送一
预定真爱保护无限期
谁对对对 你是真的很美
我的脑袋天马行空幻想你一堆
快用撒娇给我超级大任务
看我货真价实还是天花乱坠
越来越爱 早上都赖床的星期天
oh 爱 下午沙发上的电影院
爱黄昏牵着手地逛街聊天
爱夜晚咬耳朵地幸福缠绵
想当你隔壁家的supermarket
二十四小时都欢迎光临
幽默风趣无限量供应
任劳任怨都是特价品
想当你一个人的supermarket
你担心的人都不准靠近
幸福快乐买一再送一
预定真爱保护无限期
我内心的那个小孩
会快快成长让你放心地依赖
很帅 很天才 给你美好的未来
想当你隔壁家的supermarket
二十四小时都欢迎光临
幽默风趣无限量供应
任劳任怨都是特价品
想当你一个人的supermarket
你担心的人都不准靠近
幸福快乐买一再送一
预定真爱保护无限期
carlsberg visitor centre
our weekdays here in copenhagen hasnt been that exciting since we have lessons too. can't go that many places anyway. so we try to pack them with exciting dinner sessions. on monday, we were supposed to have picnic at King's Garden for dinner. i was actually quite angry cos we were supposed to reach at 5pm, i reached at 450pm, tried calling/msging the rest, but nobody replied me. so i was left stranded below their residence for around an hour.
funny thing was, cos i got too angry and bored waiting for them, i walked to the river near their place and stared at the water. some angmoh came up to me and said, "dun jump dun jump". i was kinda amused by it, but cos i was still angry, i didn't really respond.
but anyhow, as always, my anger dissipated rather easily. and so we had our dinner at the garden below their residence cos we were lazy to walk over to King's Garden. we had fried rice, fried egg and potato salad!
halfway through our dinner, this dog by the name of Goldie walked up to us and just sat under our bench. he/she was sooo cute! too bad he/she didn't stay for long.
my first self-cooked pasta! with mushrooms, beef and prawns! it tasted quite good!=)
welcome to the visitor centre!
we started cam-whoring!
tuborg is another brand of beer under carlsberg
the entrance to the visitor centre
liverpool jerseys!=D with signatures somemore
heh they had this mini-stage...
LOOK AT THE NUMBER OF BEER BOTTLES THEY HAVE! it's amazing!
just a really random shot
we were supposed to be imitating the statue but i couldn't stop laughing...
mini little mermaid! apparently it's here cos little mermaid was donated by the founder (or his son, i can't rmb)
interpret the photo yourself!
they have horses in the visitor centre too cos horses were used to transport beer in the past.
the bar that we had our complimentary drinks from
HMMM...
cheers! it's our first time drinking together in copenhagen...
i was already slightly red here...oh gosh...
wanjou! the person who doesn't turn red
i turned red after drinking half a bottle of beer, called carlsberg elephant, which had 7.6% of alcohol
here's my chosen beer
we were comparing redness. i suppose this is not the reddest i've become
supposedly the largest shopping centre in scandinavia, but we werent very impressed. by the time we cycled from the visitor centre to here, i was already seeing stars. i suspect it's cos my heart is overworked, from the alcohol to the exercise. good thing nothing serious happened.
my dinner. didn't eat much cos i was still feeling nauseous, but at least it's familiar food.
so yeah, finally finished updating for this week. we're going on a cruise trip to oslo (capital of norway) tmr! but it's only from friday afternoon to sunday morning, and at oslo for an afternoon only, so well, can't really explore oslo. but i think we'd have a good time! two buffet dinners!=)
(i hope i get to eat nice salmon over there.=D)
funny thing was, cos i got too angry and bored waiting for them, i walked to the river near their place and stared at the water. some angmoh came up to me and said, "dun jump dun jump". i was kinda amused by it, but cos i was still angry, i didn't really respond.
but anyhow, as always, my anger dissipated rather easily. and so we had our dinner at the garden below their residence cos we were lazy to walk over to King's Garden. we had fried rice, fried egg and potato salad!
halfway through our dinner, this dog by the name of Goldie walked up to us and just sat under our bench. he/she was sooo cute! too bad he/she didn't stay for long.
my first self-cooked pasta! with mushrooms, beef and prawns! it tasted quite good!=)
welcome to the visitor centre!
we started cam-whoring!
tuborg is another brand of beer under carlsberg
the entrance to the visitor centre
liverpool jerseys!=D with signatures somemore
heh they had this mini-stage...
LOOK AT THE NUMBER OF BEER BOTTLES THEY HAVE! it's amazing!
just a really random shot
we were supposed to be imitating the statue but i couldn't stop laughing...
mini little mermaid! apparently it's here cos little mermaid was donated by the founder (or his son, i can't rmb)
interpret the photo yourself!
they have horses in the visitor centre too cos horses were used to transport beer in the past.
the bar that we had our complimentary drinks from
HMMM...
cheers! it's our first time drinking together in copenhagen...
i was already slightly red here...oh gosh...
wanjou! the person who doesn't turn red
i turned red after drinking half a bottle of beer, called carlsberg elephant, which had 7.6% of alcohol
here's my chosen beer
we were comparing redness. i suppose this is not the reddest i've become
supposedly the largest shopping centre in scandinavia, but we werent very impressed. by the time we cycled from the visitor centre to here, i was already seeing stars. i suspect it's cos my heart is overworked, from the alcohol to the exercise. good thing nothing serious happened.
my dinner. didn't eat much cos i was still feeling nauseous, but at least it's familiar food.
so yeah, finally finished updating for this week. we're going on a cruise trip to oslo (capital of norway) tmr! but it's only from friday afternoon to sunday morning, and at oslo for an afternoon only, so well, can't really explore oslo. but i think we'd have a good time! two buffet dinners!=)
(i hope i get to eat nice salmon over there.=D)
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
berlin!
i got slightly bored of updating my blog cos the whole process of uploading and captioning photos is quite tedious. but nevertheless, after delaying for a few days, here i am, updating regarding berlin. i'm just too bored during lesson lar. heh. when you're learning the same stuff again, you just can't help it. at the very least, i still do my work every lesson. =P
ok berlin was good. it wasn't quite a shopping or scenery place, but it was a great history lesson. i kinda threw all my history knowledge back to my secondary teachers, but the reminder of german history cos of this berlin trip kinda brought back some mixed emotions.
i remember the most impactful thing that i got out of this trip was what the guide said after our concentration camp tour. he said that we shouldn't just blame the germans on everything that has happened. this is not just german history, it's also human history, history that could happen anywhere else. the germans have already opened up this part of their history to the younger people in the country, and this shows that they are at least repentful. i suppose as inhumane as the germans, more specifically the nazis, were, it was due to the circumstances at that point of time. maybe desperate times really called for desperate measures.
i'm not exactly defending the nazis for all the horrible things they have done, i actually felt angry when i was listening to all the stories that our guide told us. but well, we never know if any other countries have been worst at such crimes. if they never ever opened up this concentration camp, the public would never have known such stuff have happened too. more of the stories as i go through the photos.
Day 1: bus+ferry to berlin, check-in, free&easy dinner
you know the trip to berlin was quite an exciting one. the bus we were on just went straight into the ferry! call me ignorant or what, but i've seriously never seen a bus driving straight into the ferry before. it was so cool. so anyway, the above picture shows us in the bus waiting to get out of the ferry when we arrived in berlin.
we were staying at room 429!=) it was a 8-person room, so the five of us stayed with this nus mba person, boon chai, and another two of the isup people.
group shot outside our hostel! it's a REALLY huge hostel, clean and safe.
our dinner! quite expensive though. it's 5 euros which is $10. basically bbqed pork lar.
Day 2: guided tour, free&easy afternoon(includes going to Deustche History Museum and Birkenstock), dinner with isup
a group shot in the bus before our guided tour
our first stop: brandenburg gate
wanjou!=)
elaine!
me with the parliament house (i think). the queue to get in (it's free) was freaking long. the guided tour didn't allow us to have that luxury of time, so we didn't go in in the end.
me with the back of the brandenburg gate.
the double brick line indicates where the berlin wall used to be. we were standing in used-to-be west berlin.
holocaust memorial! supposedly a good location with good architecture design. this place basically doesn't have any sign that indicates it's the memorial so people will raise questions when they walk past.
this is the site where hitler died. there's no memorial here, it's just a normal carpark.
the ideal world of socialism
this panel is exactly in the same dimensions as the previous photo, which shows the IDEAL communist world. this panel basically contrasts that and shows the unhappiness of people.it shows an uprising in 1953 which had a lot of people killed as a result.
the second largest remains of the berlin wall
checkpoint charlie, after alfa and bravo. for the crossings between east and west berlin.
successful group shot!=)
zoe!
kevin aka ah pek aka pig. look at his expression lar
beautiful place which marks the birth of berlin. love the architecture even though we didn't enter. this place marked the end of our guided tour.
group shot with our handsome guide, paulo.=)
my lunch! it's called currywurst. it was quite nice lar i feel.
taking funny shots with wanjou in the museum cos we got bored after a while
attempted artistic shot
birkenstock! FINALLY found it. we were all so happy cos ALL of us bought something.
best toilet in town? so weird.
dinner with isup people. a SUPER filling dinner lar.
night time view of the TV tower.
Day 3 - Sachsenhausen Concentration Camp, bus+ferry back to Copenhagen
here we are at the concentration camp. we were warned that this is a place filled with emotions...
the model of the ENTIRE concentration camp, but we only visited a small part of the camp
the place where they trained the soldiers. now used for military training too (i think). apparently they were taught to be brutal to the prisoners.
the clock at this place called the Station A doesn't indicate the current time, it actually shows the time when the prisoners were liberated by the soviets
the words say "Work will set you free". this is the gate leading to the place where roll call happens everyday. the longest roll call was done at -20 degrees celsius, where many people collapsed and died because of the cold. if i never remember wrongly, 400 prisoners collapsed on that day. and each prisoner only got 600 calories of food everyday, just barely sufficient for them to survive.
this place where there's barbed wire with 400V of electricity running through it. if anyone were to run towards it, they would be shot to death by the guards. many committed suicide using this method.
entering one of the barracks. these were all male barracks. prisoners had their own hierachy too. the worst lot was the homosexuals, then the jews, then the communists, and lastly the criminals, for example, professional thief. apparently these criminals were used also as spies, if anyone from the lower hierachy commits a mistake and one criminal reports it, he would get extra food for that. there was this hierachy cos they wanted tension amongst the prisoners, so there wouldn't be this huge uprising. and true enough, there wasn't any massive uprising from the prisoners, and nobody managed to escape successfully even with a prisoner-guard ratio of 100:1
the bathroom
the clothes worn by the prisoners. it's the same for summer and winter. apparently it's too hot for summer, but too little for winter, so a lot of people actually died from the cold. it was also the nazis' wishes to have the weak people dying and the strong people surviving so they could replace the weak with new prisoners..
their toilets
their bunks. think there were usually about 3-4 people sleeping on one bed. it was awfully squeezy
the prison within the prison. the son of joseph stalin actuall stayed in here. the nazis wanted to trade him with another higher ranking officer, but apparently stalin said he wouldn't trade a lieutenant with a field marshall (info from boon chai cos i forgot the rank), so he was tortured here...
the prison...
one of the saddest places i think. shows one of the ways for torture. they would tie up the hands of the prisoners and hang them up on this pillar till they dislocate both their soldiers.another way for torture is to use metal (ropes?) to give 25 lashes for one prisoner for no matter how small the crime is. it was so painful that the prisoners would scream and their screams would be heard throughout the concentration camp, as warning to others. apparently that would cause the skin to rupture, exposing the organs in the body. DAMN GROSS CAN.
oh the person in red was our guide, louis.
inside the prison room
along the corridor of the prison.
the well which was 5m deep. sometimes they would throw prisoners into the well with a rotting corpse, and would only bring the living ones up once they think it's sufficient punishment for them. can you imagin that. GOODNESS.
the tracks where prisoners were made to try on the boots made in their factory. prisoners were made to run distances equivalent to a marathon everyday with their boots, together with a 20kg haversack and even during winter. should one fall, the guards would shoot him as a warning to others. and remember they only got 600 calories everyday.
the place where people would be hanged. this place is directly in front of Station A so when people were hanged, the last thing they would see was a canon pointing at you.
the worst torture before the hanging was that one of the prisoners stole margarine from the kitchen to go with his bread. the guards then made him eat 3 LITRES of margarine, then stepped on his stomach and i can't remember what happened next. it was just too disgusting.
one of the quotes in the kitchen museum. sad rite.
another sad quote
the memorial erected by the communists. the 18 triangles represent the 18 countries where the prisoners were from. the right one in the statue shows a prisoner. this was apparently quite badly represented. the prisoners didn't have hair, nor a jacket. and obviously they aren't as nutritioned as the one depicted in the photo.
the place where a lot of shootings take place. guards with rifles would be behind doors, the prisoners would then be lined up facing the doors, and the prisoners would then shoot them, with the prisoners looking straight into the eyes of the prisoners. they had to shoot like 250 prisoners each day, so apparently it wasn't a very good experience for the guards too.
Station Z where more shootings take place.
saddening...
an illustration of how prisoners would be picked up. the bones would be too brittle, sothe guards would wrap him up with a cloth and drag him using the cloth.
the memorial
basically this was the site where poisonous gases would be tested on people. think there was this example of 20 female resistance fighers that were stripped naked and thrown in. they injected this poisonous gas inside, and the women died after 20 mins. when they did the autopsy, they found that these women suffered from third degree burns in their throat. that was how they were all killed. can you imagine their suffering...
this was the place were majority of the prisoners were killed. basically they were taken to a room after being told that they would be examined by a doctor. they were made to strip naked, and loud music was played. they were then brought to this room with a door behind them. behind the door would be a guard with a rifle, who would open this opening and shoot the prisoner at the back of his throat. in this way, the guard didn't have to stare at the eyes of the prisoners as he shot them dead.
double wall for sound-proofing to hide whatever that was going on behind the walls. loud music was played for the same reason.
the crematorium
the medical centre. basically prisoners were used as guinea pigs. if prisoners complained of illness, they would be bought to this place for experiment. apparently the 'doctors' would insert some bacteria inside, then pour some acid on the person to see if that cures some illness called the gangarin. obviously it doesn't. until now, there's still no cure for gangarin, and limbs have to be amputated if the person gets the illness
where autopsies were done. the 'doctors' were basically given four ways of natural deaths and they had to choose one for each autopsy. they would just cut up the body and sew it up to show that an autopsy was done, then the 'doctor' would give a reason for a natural death, and signed against it. so well, nobody would know these prisoners were killed by what.
houses outside the concentration camp that was built by prisoners. basically these houses also served as an extra layer of security. if the prisoners escape, they would enter one of these houses where guards stay, and then they would be caught and of cos shot.
sad sad sad...i didn't mention anything about the Death March. so anyway, the Death March happened when the Nazis knew that the Soviets were coming, so they got all the stronger (who were really weak, but comparatively, they were strong) prisoners to go on a march to the Baltic sea (i think). their idea was to make them go onto some ship, and sink them so there wouldn't be any evidence of the torturing at the concentration camp. 3000 weak ones were left at the camp. the Soviets came in the middle of the march, the nazis guards fled, and liberated 50,000 malnutritioned prisoners, almost dying, to the shock of the villagers.
ah well. time to cherish our present cos at least you know most of these wouldn't happen at this time and date.
so yeah, that's berlin for you. nice experience definitely. BEST HISTORY LESSON EVER.
ok berlin was good. it wasn't quite a shopping or scenery place, but it was a great history lesson. i kinda threw all my history knowledge back to my secondary teachers, but the reminder of german history cos of this berlin trip kinda brought back some mixed emotions.
i remember the most impactful thing that i got out of this trip was what the guide said after our concentration camp tour. he said that we shouldn't just blame the germans on everything that has happened. this is not just german history, it's also human history, history that could happen anywhere else. the germans have already opened up this part of their history to the younger people in the country, and this shows that they are at least repentful. i suppose as inhumane as the germans, more specifically the nazis, were, it was due to the circumstances at that point of time. maybe desperate times really called for desperate measures.
i'm not exactly defending the nazis for all the horrible things they have done, i actually felt angry when i was listening to all the stories that our guide told us. but well, we never know if any other countries have been worst at such crimes. if they never ever opened up this concentration camp, the public would never have known such stuff have happened too. more of the stories as i go through the photos.
Day 1: bus+ferry to berlin, check-in, free&easy dinner
you know the trip to berlin was quite an exciting one. the bus we were on just went straight into the ferry! call me ignorant or what, but i've seriously never seen a bus driving straight into the ferry before. it was so cool. so anyway, the above picture shows us in the bus waiting to get out of the ferry when we arrived in berlin.
we were staying at room 429!=) it was a 8-person room, so the five of us stayed with this nus mba person, boon chai, and another two of the isup people.
group shot outside our hostel! it's a REALLY huge hostel, clean and safe.
our dinner! quite expensive though. it's 5 euros which is $10. basically bbqed pork lar.
Day 2: guided tour, free&easy afternoon(includes going to Deustche History Museum and Birkenstock), dinner with isup
a group shot in the bus before our guided tour
our first stop: brandenburg gate
wanjou!=)
elaine!
me with the parliament house (i think). the queue to get in (it's free) was freaking long. the guided tour didn't allow us to have that luxury of time, so we didn't go in in the end.
me with the back of the brandenburg gate.
the double brick line indicates where the berlin wall used to be. we were standing in used-to-be west berlin.
holocaust memorial! supposedly a good location with good architecture design. this place basically doesn't have any sign that indicates it's the memorial so people will raise questions when they walk past.
this is the site where hitler died. there's no memorial here, it's just a normal carpark.
the ideal world of socialism
this panel is exactly in the same dimensions as the previous photo, which shows the IDEAL communist world. this panel basically contrasts that and shows the unhappiness of people.it shows an uprising in 1953 which had a lot of people killed as a result.
the second largest remains of the berlin wall
checkpoint charlie, after alfa and bravo. for the crossings between east and west berlin.
successful group shot!=)
zoe!
kevin aka ah pek aka pig. look at his expression lar
beautiful place which marks the birth of berlin. love the architecture even though we didn't enter. this place marked the end of our guided tour.
group shot with our handsome guide, paulo.=)
my lunch! it's called currywurst. it was quite nice lar i feel.
taking funny shots with wanjou in the museum cos we got bored after a while
attempted artistic shot
birkenstock! FINALLY found it. we were all so happy cos ALL of us bought something.
best toilet in town? so weird.
dinner with isup people. a SUPER filling dinner lar.
night time view of the TV tower.
Day 3 - Sachsenhausen Concentration Camp, bus+ferry back to Copenhagen
here we are at the concentration camp. we were warned that this is a place filled with emotions...
the model of the ENTIRE concentration camp, but we only visited a small part of the camp
the place where they trained the soldiers. now used for military training too (i think). apparently they were taught to be brutal to the prisoners.
the clock at this place called the Station A doesn't indicate the current time, it actually shows the time when the prisoners were liberated by the soviets
the words say "Work will set you free". this is the gate leading to the place where roll call happens everyday. the longest roll call was done at -20 degrees celsius, where many people collapsed and died because of the cold. if i never remember wrongly, 400 prisoners collapsed on that day. and each prisoner only got 600 calories of food everyday, just barely sufficient for them to survive.
this place where there's barbed wire with 400V of electricity running through it. if anyone were to run towards it, they would be shot to death by the guards. many committed suicide using this method.
entering one of the barracks. these were all male barracks. prisoners had their own hierachy too. the worst lot was the homosexuals, then the jews, then the communists, and lastly the criminals, for example, professional thief. apparently these criminals were used also as spies, if anyone from the lower hierachy commits a mistake and one criminal reports it, he would get extra food for that. there was this hierachy cos they wanted tension amongst the prisoners, so there wouldn't be this huge uprising. and true enough, there wasn't any massive uprising from the prisoners, and nobody managed to escape successfully even with a prisoner-guard ratio of 100:1
the bathroom
the clothes worn by the prisoners. it's the same for summer and winter. apparently it's too hot for summer, but too little for winter, so a lot of people actually died from the cold. it was also the nazis' wishes to have the weak people dying and the strong people surviving so they could replace the weak with new prisoners..
their toilets
their bunks. think there were usually about 3-4 people sleeping on one bed. it was awfully squeezy
the prison within the prison. the son of joseph stalin actuall stayed in here. the nazis wanted to trade him with another higher ranking officer, but apparently stalin said he wouldn't trade a lieutenant with a field marshall (info from boon chai cos i forgot the rank), so he was tortured here...
the prison...
one of the saddest places i think. shows one of the ways for torture. they would tie up the hands of the prisoners and hang them up on this pillar till they dislocate both their soldiers.another way for torture is to use metal (ropes?) to give 25 lashes for one prisoner for no matter how small the crime is. it was so painful that the prisoners would scream and their screams would be heard throughout the concentration camp, as warning to others. apparently that would cause the skin to rupture, exposing the organs in the body. DAMN GROSS CAN.
oh the person in red was our guide, louis.
inside the prison room
along the corridor of the prison.
the well which was 5m deep. sometimes they would throw prisoners into the well with a rotting corpse, and would only bring the living ones up once they think it's sufficient punishment for them. can you imagin that. GOODNESS.
the tracks where prisoners were made to try on the boots made in their factory. prisoners were made to run distances equivalent to a marathon everyday with their boots, together with a 20kg haversack and even during winter. should one fall, the guards would shoot him as a warning to others. and remember they only got 600 calories everyday.
the place where people would be hanged. this place is directly in front of Station A so when people were hanged, the last thing they would see was a canon pointing at you.
the worst torture before the hanging was that one of the prisoners stole margarine from the kitchen to go with his bread. the guards then made him eat 3 LITRES of margarine, then stepped on his stomach and i can't remember what happened next. it was just too disgusting.
one of the quotes in the kitchen museum. sad rite.
another sad quote
the memorial erected by the communists. the 18 triangles represent the 18 countries where the prisoners were from. the right one in the statue shows a prisoner. this was apparently quite badly represented. the prisoners didn't have hair, nor a jacket. and obviously they aren't as nutritioned as the one depicted in the photo.
the place where a lot of shootings take place. guards with rifles would be behind doors, the prisoners would then be lined up facing the doors, and the prisoners would then shoot them, with the prisoners looking straight into the eyes of the prisoners. they had to shoot like 250 prisoners each day, so apparently it wasn't a very good experience for the guards too.
Station Z where more shootings take place.
saddening...
an illustration of how prisoners would be picked up. the bones would be too brittle, sothe guards would wrap him up with a cloth and drag him using the cloth.
the memorial
basically this was the site where poisonous gases would be tested on people. think there was this example of 20 female resistance fighers that were stripped naked and thrown in. they injected this poisonous gas inside, and the women died after 20 mins. when they did the autopsy, they found that these women suffered from third degree burns in their throat. that was how they were all killed. can you imagine their suffering...
this was the place were majority of the prisoners were killed. basically they were taken to a room after being told that they would be examined by a doctor. they were made to strip naked, and loud music was played. they were then brought to this room with a door behind them. behind the door would be a guard with a rifle, who would open this opening and shoot the prisoner at the back of his throat. in this way, the guard didn't have to stare at the eyes of the prisoners as he shot them dead.
double wall for sound-proofing to hide whatever that was going on behind the walls. loud music was played for the same reason.
the crematorium
the medical centre. basically prisoners were used as guinea pigs. if prisoners complained of illness, they would be bought to this place for experiment. apparently the 'doctors' would insert some bacteria inside, then pour some acid on the person to see if that cures some illness called the gangarin. obviously it doesn't. until now, there's still no cure for gangarin, and limbs have to be amputated if the person gets the illness
where autopsies were done. the 'doctors' were basically given four ways of natural deaths and they had to choose one for each autopsy. they would just cut up the body and sew it up to show that an autopsy was done, then the 'doctor' would give a reason for a natural death, and signed against it. so well, nobody would know these prisoners were killed by what.
houses outside the concentration camp that was built by prisoners. basically these houses also served as an extra layer of security. if the prisoners escape, they would enter one of these houses where guards stay, and then they would be caught and of cos shot.
sad sad sad...i didn't mention anything about the Death March. so anyway, the Death March happened when the Nazis knew that the Soviets were coming, so they got all the stronger (who were really weak, but comparatively, they were strong) prisoners to go on a march to the Baltic sea (i think). their idea was to make them go onto some ship, and sink them so there wouldn't be any evidence of the torturing at the concentration camp. 3000 weak ones were left at the camp. the Soviets came in the middle of the march, the nazis guards fled, and liberated 50,000 malnutritioned prisoners, almost dying, to the shock of the villagers.
ah well. time to cherish our present cos at least you know most of these wouldn't happen at this time and date.
so yeah, that's berlin for you. nice experience definitely. BEST HISTORY LESSON EVER.
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