STARDUST semi-finals!

STARDUST SEMI-FINALS IS OVER!

and i didnt say it with a sigh of relief, it was with loads of excitement!

it was a really interesting day. stayed over in school on thursday night to help prepare for the event. blew balloons till we got scared of them. balloons kept bursting and blown away, so we spent a significantly amount of time trying to chase them and place them at the place we want them to be. after a while, people were just zombified and started stoning. but we (vivien, shu ann, meryl, liwei, norman, xueyi, chenlu, daryl, xingyan, gilbert and some others whom i cant rmb now!) had quite a lot of fun and there were just so many lame jokes going around. i laughed like mad lar. they all said i laughed at all their jokes, whether funny or not. well, i think it's cos they just got to know me. HAHA! think my jc frens all know how much i laugh and how i can't stop laughing.

some of us stayed till very late. in the end, most of them left at 12 plus, shu ann left at 4am, and left with vivien, liwei, norman staying over at the central forum. slept at 4 plus and woke up at 6.30am to go to ja's place to bathe. THANK YOU JA for letting me disturb your precious sleep!=) slept for a while more at ja's place. wanted to wake up at 8.30am to get to school for 9am lesson. in the end i woke up at 8.45am and got a shock.=X reached fna at 9.30am and they have already finished those questions that i've done. -_-. but ok lar at least i finished my om tutorial, after which i went to pack capt kim stuff for koc and went back to central forum to help out. some of us just sat around chatting and it was SOO funny. with gilbert and daryl having their favourite semi-finalists and vivien and i trying to matchmake. kept making fun of them lar.

5pm came and i think it was quite messy cos somehow we just weren't prepared. and there were just too many people crowding around the small table. anw the show started a bit late and i almost got a shock when lincoln told me he was still at nuh and cant get away.=X ah well. the crowd was actually quite good! we were actually slightly worried that there wont be a lot of people at the central forum. but it was proven that it was unncessary worry.

anw watched all the performances of the soloists (except for jasmine tye's cos daryl and i had to run back to biz to get additional tapes), and i think the standard is really quite high. and got to talk to kang for a while and saw alvin nat and paul who came to support lincoln. then went on to count the scores for soloists. didnt manage to watch a lot of the performances by the bands though. counted the scores for bands too. results were slightly disappointing for the soloists section to me, but ok lar. such stuff do happen.

cleared up till around midnight after which daryl sent shu ann, xingyan and i home. oh man good thing he sent me home. he really drives quite safely for someone his age, but after listening to his reason, i'm quite glad there's someone who actually thinks that way. not like some of my frens who speed the moment they get their licenses.=X but i shouldnt complain lar. i'm quite lucky cos so many people who stay in the east drive and i get lifts home rather often. came home and seriously just collapsed after uploading the photos.

woke up at 6.30am for koc. so well, it was really quite tiring. FINALLY got to exercise! played a short while of bball with ja when there were just too many people sitting around. but when i came home, the tan line was really quite obvious when i wore my dress for pin ming's (i dunno how to spell his name!) wedding.=X suddenly became so tan. heh. and i'm quite proud of myself for doing up my own hair and horrendous make-up. HAHA! well you just seldom see me in that manner. just thought it was quite bad cos bro and i really were quite isolated. didnt even know who to talk to. too bad we just arent close to our cousins cos our age gaps are just too different. well mum's side there are only 5 people not married out of 20+ cousins we have. haha.

and now i shall start doing my work after finishing this post. haha.

photos!=)


stardust stage!

crowd at 5 plus.

the talk-nonsense gang (good thing daryl stood on the lower step=P)

lincoln during his performance!

crowd during the band segment. it was filled right up the upper level!=D

stardust finalists!=)

happy group of people after the whole event!=)

comm photo 1!

comm photo 2!

comm photo 3!

comm photo 4!

and that concludes stardust semi-finals! time to concentrate on tri-uni and projects and tutorials. now i'm looking forward to stardust finals! but obstacles ahead (final exams!=X) but i nv regretted joining stardust comm. got to know so many more friends and also have such a different experience from all my jc experiences. i'm learning damn a lot now.

before i end off, a damn funny occurrence happened at home on wed. this crow flew into my house (i have no idea how and by which window). bro and i spent like 30 mins staring at it cos we didnt know how to chase it out of the house.



HAHA!

time to prepare for tri-uni marketing meeting now! gosh i havent done ANY tutorials for the next meeting. i really hope my studies wont be sacrificed for final exams.=X

but at least i get to focus on my studies in the coming weeks. HOPEFULLY.

lastly, i wanna thank those people for going to vote after all my msn spamming, and of cos those who went to do my stats survey as well. have been spamming so many people. thanks to those who have been listening to my complaints and whining thru all my busy periods, and i think i really got to apologise to all my project group mates for not putting my best in all my projects thus far.=X

and yes, THANKS TO ALL THOSE WHO HAVE SHOWN ME SUPPORT AND TRULY MADE ME SMILE DURING THE LAST FEW WEEKS! it was a crazy period but you guys brought me thru it. i really appreciate everything you guys have done, whether it's the 'take care' or the constant naggings/scoldings for taking up too many commitments.

只要你快乐

《只要你快乐》-汪佩蓉

就算是想通了 Let lt Go, Let lt Go, Let lt Go,
Woo 我 就是無法强装往日的笑容
想不透每一次 When You Call, When You Call, When You Call
就是不能掩飾想念的衝動 為什麼

試著安靜的 平靜的 仔細的 去感受
灼熱的感覺直達心中
多麼的震撼我 也要勇敢觸碰

只要你快樂 真的只要你快樂
不管這像不像我 多麼難過
也會欣然接受 你擦身走過

我要你快樂 真的只要你快樂
隨時都為你保留 我的問候
我一遍一遍 重複我的心痛

某一天也許我 Have To Go, Have To Go, Have To Go
Woo 我 不再躲避回憶任意的捕捉
我還是會唱著 Missing You, Missing You, Missing You
从此面对往事而无动于衷 為什麼

就算安靜的 平靜的 仔細的 去感受
灼熱的感覺直達心中
它不再震撼我 我能夠勇敢觸碰

只要你快樂 真的只要你快樂
不管我追求什麼 害怕什麼
也會欣然接受 你擦身走過
我要你快樂 真的只要你快樂
再見也可以奪走 一字不留
我一遍一遍 重複我的心痛

就算是想通了 Let lt Go, Let lt Go, Let lt Go
Woo 我 就是不能掩飾想念的衝動 為什麼

got hooked onto this song after i heard taojing sing at stardust recording.

默默的

just realised i haven posted photos in a long long time! so here are photos of my buddy and grandbuddy dinner!


justin, hongyi, david and vivian!

david and vivian!

justin and hongyi!

my buddies! oh man...i feel so old...

my grandbuddies! i feel even older here...there's gonna be 28ths soon!

sigh these few days i feel like i'm moving around without any aim. i've lost a sense of direction, i dunno where i'm heading now. i've just been doing things for the sake of doing. as much i enjoy school, i really dunno what the hell i'm doing stuff for.

and everyday i just fall asleep without motivation to do my work. WHY?! even i myself cant explain.

but well, i've been talking to some people i've never/seldom talked to online these days cos i've been publicizing stardust and getting people to do my stats survey. it's quite fun actually. since i dun normally talk to a lot of people online.

有时候我会不由自主地想起自己有多么的卑微。我不晓得我的自信到底埋在哪里，我只知道我好像永远也找不到它。朋友告诉我他们多寂寞，多么没人要，我只好安慰他们，但我何尝不需要同样的安慰。坚强也是一种脆弱，看似坚强的人，往往最脆弱。想要让身边的人开心，又总是觉得好累。面具带得越久，越不能拆。我不知道我为何总是这么悲观，但我很怕迟早会崩溃，为什么而崩溃，我也不知道。

我可是第一次在大学落泪，发生的事没什么大不了，但我还是哭了。也许理由没那么直接，我总觉得我之所以哭，不单单只是因为那小事。可能是压抑及累积已久的情感吧。

我老了，累了，倦了，疯了，麻木了，沮丧了，我原本以为自己已前进了，却发现我只是在原点转圈圈而已。我的生命需要一个重要的转捩点，而这个转捩点，也许只有我自己知道吧。

not easy to understand

the talk with mum today reminded me of my 'failure' at As again. i dunno why they just have to keep putting it at the back of their minds and bringing it out time and again. isn't it painful enough that it has spoiled my relationship with dad? isn't it painful enough to see dad being a loner, locking himself up in the room the whole day? isn't it painful enough to see our family slowly losing the links with each other? i really dun see why my that particular poor show at a national examination is such a huge obstacle in our family. it's not that i can't get over it, it's the constant reminders that are rejecting my attempts to get over it.

yes i made a mistake in jc. yes i SEEM to be continuing the mistake in uni. but you can't always treat me like a person who never learns from her mistake. do you know how hard i'm trying to prove you all wrong? but yet, do you know how hard i'm trying to keep my own interests, to be involved in school activities? it's just promoting how one can nv fail in our society. even if i'm fine with failing, the people around might not be this forgiving. and it's not even a true failure in the first place.

i dun understand, i really dun...

and seriously, do you have to scold me so badly for not telling you that i'm not having lunch at home. i know it's my fault, but it's not making my days happier at all. somehow i just think my days are always dampened by such stuff, such small little things.

and the talk with zj ytd was thought-provoking and half-amusing. just thought there wont be any guy so deep in biz. like, the image of him in my mind sorta changed quite a lot after the chat. and usually i'm not this open talking abt r/s. ah well. but i also know these convos wont continue for long. like i said, it'd be one-off convos. can nv talk about such stuff the whole time. you'll just go mad.

i really can't imagine how similar both of them are. the way they talk, the way they look at things, their expressions, their side-profiles, and even their msn font colour. everything is the same! dunno if it's good or bad lar.

and buddy tree dinner ytd! so fun! justin is hilarious. his logic is warped until a level when we cant even agree to it. laughed soooo much lar. oh man. we only meet like once a year. and i'm really afraid of discontinuity after hongyi and david go overseas. ah well. at least we had great fun ytd! took quite a lot of photos too. but shall post it another day. i'm quite tired and sian. shall go sleep.=)

and jun's schedule clashes so much with mine. i really very sad. hopefully taiwan will still come true.=X

and lastly, go to www.quaffs.com/events.php to vote for stardust semi-finalists!=)

iBIZa!

the crazy week is finally over. and i finally get to stay at home for more than my sleeping hours.

my parents have been complaining yet again how i always return home around midnight. it's amazing how much i've been staying out these few days. too bad nus is just SOOOO far away from my house.

ibiza have been keeping me ultra busy the last 4 days. 3 meetings in 4 days. cool or not. hahaha. i think our joint marketing team is hilarious though. keeps the meetings fun and exciting.

meeting at raffles city really made me feel damn inferior. i was complaining to yowie all abt it after that.=X like it's the first time in uni i really felt inadequate. i have no experience in marketing whatsoever. even stardust cant be considered cos i was just sending out emails. i didn't even have much input. so what if we're supposed to be facilitators. i feel really damn insecure if i dun even know more about stuff than my team members. what's more most of my team members are so much more experienced than me. i'm seriously the weakest link amongst the three schools, and not only that, i'm representing nus. i just feel as though i'm not good enough to be in this position.

though i know it'll be a damn good learning experience. i shud touch the things that i'm unfamiliar with rite. ah well. have a lot a lot to learn from minghui and xiu jing. tons of things seriously. and i better pick up fast. doesnt help that everytime we have meeting, nus have tons of people. i dunno if that reflects badly too.

anw, meeting at smu last night was quite fun. we're just so sensitive to arrows shooting at us that it's hilarious. really. FOR YOU, WE TRY! =P we're made up of so different personalities. something good about working outside nus. i somehow really treasure this opportunity and wanna do my best in it. but marketing is just not my forte. ah well. i'm still learning.

ok a good break this weekend (though not so much in terms of studies and projects, but still). i badly need a good rest. need to meet up with people also. gosh.

meeting my buddies and grandbuddies later! cant wait too.=) a damn long time since i've done so. exciting.=)

meeting ja cynli pong for dinner on sunday too. like FINALLY.

STARDUST SEMI-FINALS NEXT FRIDAY 6PM AT NUS CENTRAL FORUM! please come and support us!=)

ok i shall go out and buy assessment books for dylan. i dun quite want to sacrifice my tuition actually. ah well.

a whale!

today ended off with a damn good laugh.

ja and i were talking about how my frequency doesnt coincide with any person. then she went:

"you should talk to a whale!"

i was like ...........................................

then she did the whale thing.

i laughed like mad can!

then in the shuttle bus, it was so hilarious cos we wanted to hide ourselves, but yet the very people we were trying to hide from sat right in front of us. we totally -_-. we couldnt even talk, so when the stop came, we quickly tried to rush and sped off. it was SOOOO funny can.

nvm if you dun understand the above stuff. basically it was an exciting few mins and i really had a very very good laugh, which i havent had for a really long time.

short update: stats was ok, luckily, went for a 3hr tuition after that, came home, talked to 3 persons on the phone, before starting on my fna tutorial. i slept at 3am plus lar.

i'm actually quite worried for tuition now. xiuwen was telling me how mrs tan and her bro keep talking to her abt dylan, how they can help him, whether getting a guy as a tutee will be better. you know i'm quite worried that they actually dun really want me to teach him, but just not too nice to tell me straight in the face. argh. one thing for sure - he's not an easy child to teach.

then zl called to ask which uni course he shud apply for. hope he makes the right decision!

after which ja called to settle capt kim stuff.

fri was bad cos i was sooo lethargic the whole day. 9am lesson is killer seriously. anw step up 2 was ok lar. very different genre of movie from what i usually watch. so the theme is actually quite refreshing. just that there were so many jokes that ja managed to catch and i didnt. heh.

open house was rather draining. good thing is i managed to see a lot of juniors. but day-long mending of booth is madness. at least i was with ja. and it was so funny cos i told zhenjie about tiki (my rabbit), and we were just crapping about how i shud bring carrots for him next time. totally nonsensical, but really funny. he really reminds me of cai.

why can't we just return to the past when everything is normal. is this what you really want to see a friendship turn into. sometimes i really dun understand.

searching for my limits

i have to admit that i'm really quite stressed now.

yes yes laugh at me for taking up so many things. bu zi liang li? maybe. not that i can't handle, it's just becoming a little too daunting. like when i'm stressed, i tend to ignore people, and that's what i'm doing right now.

i panicked, really panicked when i didnt know how to do so many stats questions. STATS?! like i'm supposed to be ok at it! why am i not understanding so many things now at this point of time when it's exams tmr morning?! wth am i doing man.

or maybe i'm horrible at time management. i really have no idea.

it's times like these when i really really hate myself. not that i'm blaming my commitments, but i just can't seem to do everything well enough. i'm even pushing my treasury work to michael/meryl to do, not helping ja with capt kim stuff, not touching my tri-uni as of now. seriously, what am i doing?!

was just thinking about how there's always a story behind everybody. what's mine?

and went lws 3 times in 4 days. cool huh. auditions are over, it's recording now. lincoln is in semi-finals.=) it's quite cool listening to all the auditions while playing the participants' cds. and the tagboard on our main website is hilarious.

i'm not free until 14th april. what kind of wonderful schedule do i have huh.

i'm overestimating myself, AGAIN... i have no right to complain, and i know it.

at this time, how i wish i can whine and complain to someone and not appear weak and with the person not laughing at/scolding me for my foolishness.

back to stats...

beautiful

i learnt that there's always a story behind everyone, to never judge a book by its cover, to never jump to conclusions cos there are always reasons behind everything that happens.

i learnt that one should never run away from reality, however harsh it might be. the more one escapes, things can never be solved but instead become harsher than before.

one face, many masks (that's a ss reading i'm supposed to do). due to circumstances, people always have to put on many masks. i can't deny that i dun, in fact, my mask is ever-changing. it is tiring, but i know these masks are to prevent the uglier side from exposure.

just came back from kr production. made me think about quite a lot of stuff. been a long while since i watched any performance. but kim and francine were REAL good! (ironically someone just got shot at outram park - that was seriously coincidental. oh man.) kinda like the songs they wrote.

and i met derrick today! so cool. haven seen him in AGES. brought him to arts to eat. had a nice chat! and at least i know his plans and where he's going etc.

and and and BOTH MY BUDDIES GOT PERFECT SCORE FOR A LEVELS!!! i'm SOOO happy for them!=D

ok i'm supposed to wake up earlier tmr to do my legal assignment.

THANK YOU JUN FOR THE BIRTHDAY PRESENTS!!! i'll take photos of them soon and post them up! i really love them.=)

"The road to a friend's house is never long."

pong sent me this song long ago. found this on jocelyn's blog so decided to post the lyrics up as well.

BEAUTIFUL

I dont know
If I am the one for you in this life
I cant help
Hearing my voice calling your name
Cuz when I
Trying so hard not to look in your eyes
Maybe I
Have fallen in love with you

Well tonight
Maybe this time I can hear you breathe
Its alive
To see you smile with those tears in your eyes
They may say
That you're just a girl in this spinning world
In my heart
You're like the world to me

I cant so describe
How I'm feeling deep inside
So much more than I can say
With your touch it feels so right
Oh my, you're so near
All the time in this place
For I know in my heart
I will never let you go
In this lifetime
Do you know why, oh baby
Cause youre just so
Beautiful to me

Touch my hand; feel my heart
Hold me close and You'll find me
You'll find me
Cause you're beautiful to me

da mang ren!

busy busy busy...

my parents have been complaining that they haven't seen me at home for a long time. true enough. i've been in school for the longest times ever. going home just seems more like a routine than a pleasure. now i wish i stay in hall or pgp. journey home itself takes more than an hour. even taking bus home is tiring many a times.

had 2 mid terms this week. fna was fine, i'm just hoping to get close to full marks for it. om was...not as good. but ok lar, for 46 qns, i suppose the chances of making mistakes are higher too.

then i thought about how my next few days will be like.
fri: om grp meeting, buddy coming over, kr hall production
sat: stardust auditions, tuition
sunday: stardust auditions
mon: legal individual assignment due, tri-uni marketing sub-comm meeting
tues: stardust recording
thurs: stats mid-term

after stats midterm, all projects will have to start. add that to stardust semis preparation and tri-uni sending out of marketing proposals, PLUS the tutorials (i dun wanna lag behind so much!). just the thought of it is enough to scare me.

but all these are the result of my own decisions. i shall blame no one and continue to do my best. these days i dun even have time to have leisure stuff. i haven watched all my variety shows, haven come home early enough to watch the 9pm show, limited facebooking. i still need to watch 2 webcasts, catch up on 2 lecture content. but i see how shu ann and meryl are putting in so much effort for stardust, i kinda feel quite bad for them. ah well. i'm hoping at the end of stardust, i can say i really contributed to the success of it.

tuesday night was fun! night out with jess ja cynli at rail mall (just looks like m'sia to me). laughed until the whole place was like ours. celebrated cynli's bday also. i shud say how pathetic ja and i were. we spent an afternoon at bizad club room supposedly studying om. then when we were there, we decided to donate to the crane victim fund cos they were banking in the money. so i donated $30. we went to sunset way to get a cake for cynli, then we couldnt find the atm. so we were so out of cash ja had to call her fren to bring money to the cake shop.=X so paiseh lar.

then i skipped fna on wed to study for om. last resort lar. usually i just hate catching up with lectures. then realised i forgot that i was supposed to pass engwah vouchers to shu ann, so ended up going to chinatown for the band auditions to pass them to yizhe. studied till 1am and woke up at 6.30am to study again. it's already so much content for midterm, i wonder how to handle finals.=X gosh.

band auditions today were quite cool. it's an eye-opener, really, to be in the audition room watching the people sing. usually you just see it on tv. but i can't comment anw cos i'm so musically-handicapped. maybe i'd be able to judge better for soloists. haha.

ok time to start a bit on my legal assignment. and prob read thru a bit for om project meeting. heh.

那些曾经

温岚 - 同手同脚

还记得 小小年纪
松开我的手迷失的你
在人群里 看见你
一边哭泣 手还握着冰淇淋

有时候 难过生气
你总有办法逗我开心
依然清晰 回忆里
那些曾经有笑有泪的光阴

我们的生命先后顺序
在同个温室里
也是存在在这个世界
唯一的唯一

未来的每一步一脚印
踏着彼此梦想前进
路上偶尔风吹雨淋
也要握紧你的手心

未来的每一步一脚印
相知相惜相依为命
别忘记之间的约定
我会永远在你身边陪着你

现在我唱的这首歌曲
给我最亲爱的弟弟
在我未来生命之旅
要和你同手同脚同走下去

quite a nice and touching song. dedicated to siblings!=)

i overcame this psychological barrier! it wasnt as hard as i always thought it to be like. but you know, it might be hard to find any more excuses. ah well.

and buddy hongyi is coming back tmr!=)

i dunno whether to call today productive or not. tmr and sun shall be more productive. (not like i have a choice actually) wish me luck for my mid terms man....