coincidence

i forgot to mention that the andrew in my marketing group was from khs as well! this was how our convo went:

andrew: "what schools were you all from?"
me: "rj"
andrew: "oh i was from rj as well! my bro was in your batch then."
me: "oh really? who's your bro?"
andrew: "alvin, meng jun from trip science."
me: "oh from kong hwa school?!"
andrew: "yar, i was also from kong hwa!"

then i thought for a while....

me: "oh yar you're in yr 2 now. were you from 6/1?"
andrew: "yes!"
me: "do you know norman?"
andrew: "oh yes i do!"
me: "he's my bro!!"

HAHA. so that was how we found out. he was saying it's a very long time since he met my bro, plus wai keong (i forgot how to spell his name.=X). turns out my bro knew him as meng ru, and i actually have been up to his house before! HAHA. damn coincidental. so many people from my pri sch i realised. jocelin, brent, suhan (this person shan chun told me about who recognises me but i dun rmb her at all), then now andrew. like suddenly realised we were all from the same pri sch. amazing.

ok i was SUPPOSED to do work today, but i watched chao ji xing guang da dao the whole afternoon. and i'm supposed to be ready to go for tuition now.=X gosh. someone pls kill me man. i haven even done ANY work nor have i studied for my mid-terms. good luck to me.

finished post

i shall complete this post now, after 5 days. heh.

fri was kbox with councillors + maf. kboxing was good. though my singing still sucks. but i had to leave earlier, that was quite sad.=( they chose rather nice songs to sing after i left.=X


cedric, kang and i. i was suaning cedric all the way lar. cos he said he didn't understand the fan ti zi. so i kept reading out the lyrics to irritate him.=P


kang and i!=) her singing is always good, though she might insist otherwise. kangya's fanclub?=P

after kbox, i cabbed down to school for maf preparations. attendance for maf was actually better than we expected! (our expectations weren't very high actually. heh) people were enthusiastic in joining the games and guessing the deng mis. the atmosphere was quite high i feel. and the organisers were just hanging around looking at people have fun, and of cos we had fun as well. we didn't even get to eat!=X after clear-up, a few of us went to al-almeen (dunno how to spell!) to have dinner/supper. amusing session. jon dared michael to angrily tell the people there that cockles were spelled wrongly, and when michael really approached the person, the whole table just siam-ed immediately. HAHA!

and i hope the bangkok trip would come true!!=)


farah! this is the first time we took a photo together man.


mel! my dearest classmate.


mel, farah, valerie! with our lanterns. the rest went for a night walk.


mel, farah and i again!=)

tuition on saturday. i seldom have tuition on weekends, but it was really no choice cos dylan's exams are coming in less than 2 weeks' time! AND mrs tan wants me to teach him geography as well. oh ho. but somehow he's more hardworking these days. haha.

then went for brent's bday party with yong'an and michael. was debating whether to go or not, cos i prob wouldn't know the people there very well. still decided to go anw, since yong'an and michael were going as well. didn't eat much, sang karaoke though, after a lot of people left. heh. can't malu myself in front of so many people rite. haha.

sunday was lunch with cherry, jr and zl at nydc. stupid jackson still didn't come in the end. we planned so many meals already he still didn't make it for all of them. argh. then met mel dong yong'an michael jon wailing farah after their stompaids meeting for dinner. we took such a long time to decide what to eat lar. slacked at michael's house until 12 midnight before dong sent me to jess house for a stayover.

ja and cynli wanted to scare me, but it didn't work. didn't believe that they would sleep so early lar. heh. then we just talked and had a lot of fun. always so relaxing around these people. thanks for all of them man. ja, jess and i went for lunch at kovan (cynli had to leave early), after which i went home and headed for school for mno video. in the end, i met them for slightly more than 1/2 hour and then they said meeting over. =X so i headed home again, and had dinner with mum and dad, first time in a SUPER long time.

ytd was filled with mkting project meeting, then econs tutorial, then mno meeting again, and then tuition. boring day lar. today will be spent at home, HOPEFULLY doing work, then tuition later again.

i think i'll love tmr cos it's shopping! and steamboat at michael's place if i'm not wrong. then fri mno video in school. time is passing really quickly!!! gosh.

boring post i know....

expiring.

i think i'll disappoint c. the expiry date might just come and go and nothing will happen.

i am afraid too. but there's nothing i can do. it's like an unfulfilled wish for years.

doesn't go well with my pessimism.

when life just passes you by

i'm really touched by all the concern people gave me after saturday.=)

THANK YOU!!!

i guess i'm better now. not exactly thinking about anything. i think i just want to make sure i do well in my studies (a lil hard cos i've been slacking all the way!=X) and also spend more time with my friends around me. i can't imagine what life would be like if i didn't have you guys around me.=)

as much as i have rather high expectations of friendships, i think i'm already quite lucky.

i was thinking, have you ever thought of something so hard or maybe even stoning that you can forget what you are doing at the present moment? for eg, miss the bus stop/mrt station you were supposed to alight at even though you weren't asleep? or like you were walking in school and you weren't concentrating and just didn't see your friend who was walking right in front of you though he/she was waving at you?

i used to be so alert, like i'd know whatever that's happening around me. prob observant. but i realised that as i grew older, whenever i'm alone, i'm constantly in a very dreamy state, like i'd just stone/think so much that i nv pay attention to my surroundings.

i think there will come a day when i can just bump into a wall or a person without realising that it/he/she was near. i've been lucky thus far, though i've missed bus stops/mrt stations quite a lot of times before. heh.

oh and i used to be quite good at remembering names/faces, now i fail all the time.

was talking to mel about our friendships for the whole mkt lecture on tues. you know it's amazing how all of us barely met each other 2 months ago and yet there seems to have so many things that have happened amongst us. all the scandals, the tensions, the conflicts, etc. i dun think i was part of any of those mentioned yet, and maybe that's a good thing, but still, it's just amazing. mel and i were saying that we feel that we have all known each other for a long time. i wonder how things will be like when people go overseas for sep, or when people graduate. for now, i shall enjoy uni life as it is.

it's the last week before recess week! time seriously flies. i dun feel like i've learnt a lot but yet there's going to be mid-term tests already.=X and management science's mid-term takes up 45%.=X gosh. until monday, i still didn't have the solver installed in my comp. i think i understand the whole thing a lot better now though. econs is like...i dunno whether to have confidence in it or not. all the indifference curve analysis, i'd just get lost at some point during the explanation and after a while i just dun care.

and not forgetting the projects we have and also my gem's term essay. but i do realise how slack my tutorials are (for eg i dun have to do ALL the mkt individual assignments, and also the econs tutorials), plus i only have 2 mid-term tests.

i think this week is not bad. though i slacked for 3 days before tues, i still managed to do some of my work and understand a lot of things better. settled some of the stuff for maf also. i dunno why but somehow i'm quite happy when i'm doing the stuff. maybe it's the people i'm working with (amusing people like yong'an and michael whom i went shopping with ytd at sheng siong. made my day end off on quite a good note though i was damn sleepy. and not forgetting farah, mel, dong they all.=)) or maybe i miss council/house days too much. heh.

AND dylan's exams are in two weeks' time. i haven gone to his place in a week already. good luck to him/me man. i have to make sure i dun get sacked lar. hopefully recess week would be better.

i love thursdays cos it's my og day!=)

the day has come.

jun and i when she came over to nus. kang was the photographer.


jun and i at the airport.


25ths at the airport.the picture is so blur.=X


kang jun and i. i think i look extremely sleepy here.


kangya and i bumped into shuwen at the airport. she was with the a star people.

and yes it certainly feels so different without her around. i almost teared when i saw her going thru the gate, but i know better than to let her see my tears. my buddy gayle and shaun were so nice they patted my shoulder and really made sure i was ok. but no worries, i think i was quite mentally prepared. for now i guess i'm still ok. or so i think.

i dunno why i'm so zombified this week. totally have no energy to do anything. in school or anything, i just didnt have the mood to do my work etc. argh. what happened to my motivation.

i need to energise myself and do my work. i've been slacking so much i somehow hate myself for it. hai.

she bu de ni zou

i seriously dun want tmr to come.

i keep thinking it's so far away, but now that it's here, i dun want to face reality.

i really dunno how it feels like to see a close friend leave until today. it's like, i can't imagine how lonely i'll feel. nobody to celebrate our bdays, nobody to celebrate vday with etc. like you said, we always keep the most special days in our calendar for each other. i really dunno what will happen after you leave. who will celebrate my bday for me? who will celebrate yours with you? who will be willing to spend vday with me? so many of my 'routines' will have to change.

i can nv put into words how much impact you have in my life.

please be happy there. and i'll try to be happy here too. then when we meet, we'll only have good things to talk about.=)

i've been seriously pissed with bro these days. it's not that i wanna complain, but seriously, the car is a family property, but you think it's yours. is it so hard to wake up one hour earlier to fetch your sister to school? even when you meet your sister outside school and we're both heading home, can't you just fetch her home? seriously, i was damn paiseh to have to follow someone else's car home when you are in the same area. you know once again you make me feel as though i'm the only child? every morning you just tell me to do this to do that, then you drive the car to school. and when i dun do anything, you say i'm lazy and a damn slacker. you keep asking me to do tutorials/study as if i dunno what i'm doing. i'm damn tired of having to entertain you already. i'm damn tired of having to look at your smiling face when i feel so miserable inside. and you lead a rich man's lifestyle while nagging at me to cut down on my expenses. please practise what you preach if you want me to listen to you.

i dun even know why i'm crying because of this.

i bet when mum and dad come home, they will scold me for not doing housework. there's a reason why i dun like to be at home.

was talking to ya ytd about quite a lot of things. i guess many of us have two sides of ourselves, one side being the side frequently shown to others, the other side being the side that we always want to keep to ourselves. he reminded me so much about myself this time last year. and i totally understand what he's feeling right now. somehow i'm glad he vented some of his frustrations last night.

playing the role of a supporter doesn't get much appreciation. but sometimes it's good for people to look around closely and identify the people who have contributed but nv ever get the recognition. when people succeed, they attribute the success to themselves, but when they fail, they push everything to others or situation. how about those who have been silently doing the job, putting everything together? so they shud just resign to fate that they can only work in the background?

ya gave the analogy of a nail, and i really thought it was a good illustration. a nail can be so insignificant, maybe till the point it gets rusty. but it's the one that has been holding the structure together. it goes unnoticed till the point someone pulls out the nail and the whole structure collapses. sometimes, you just want to be the nail that gets pulled out.

i think i grew up too fast. so much so that i've lost the innocence that many people possess. i'm conditioned to always be wary of others. i read too much into people's actions. i'm suspicious of people's motives for doing things. i read too much into what people think of me. you know it's so sad when everyone was talking about all the childhood stories and i realised i dunno a lot of them? it's like i completely skipped that whole phase of life.

sometimes i feel so ashamed of myself. so what if i was from rj, held several leadership positions before? nobody appreciates that. my life is heading nowhere. i'm seldom truly happy.

wow i'm thinking too much again.

CLASS 3 LICENSE!=)

I PASSED!!!=D

no more driving lessons, no more staying at home on mondays and fridays just to go for lessons, no more drivers laughing at learners along the road! and yes did only once for btt, ftt and practical! perfect score.=) luckily i saved some money. heh.

i got 18 demerit points though. tester kept penalising me for being too slow. so all those relating to slow speed, ie insufficient acceleration, slowness, slow in starting up, were all ticked. perfect for circuit though, thank goodness cos i totally screwed up my circuit ytd and even this morning. nvm. who cares how many demerit points you got man seriously.=P

i could have gotten home earlier just now, if not for me missing one video screening. so i had to wait another 45 mins for the next one. and guess what? the system was down so we couldn't even get our license.-_-. got to wait for the system to be ok. good thing i stay so near the test centre.=)

ok. shall go to school now. i think i announced to almost everyone there that i passed my test. so exciting. one thing off my commitment list!=D

(can you tell how happy i am?=P)

all the best for your test on fri jun!!=D

top of my list now...

I’m typing this post on a word document cos zl’s house doesn’t have internet access. And I’m bored mugging. Heh. Hopefully he doesn’t find out that I’m blogging instead of doing my own work.

Last few days have been rather fun. Fri was driving but I felt so sad cos I made so many minor mistakes here and there. I just wanna get driving over and done with lar, seriously.

Saturday we had mno extended tutorial in school. I was initially so sian about going to school early in the morning at 9am. Then my saviour came. Farah msged me at night and told me that she got her car! So she asked me if I wanted a lift to school. Heh.=P I feel so lucky. At least I didn’t have to wake up at some unearthly time just to get to school.

The tutorial itself was rather fun, very different from all the other tutorials, and good thing is that there is no one-pager to do. And there is no tutorial on Tuesday so at least I wont have to skip any tutorial for my driving test. Only thing I have to skip is marketing lecture, so at least I wont feel so guilty.=X

It was mno project group meeting right after the 2 hrs tutorial. Wasn’t really going well initially cos all of us didn’t have a very concrete idea of what we wanted to do. Thrashed out some issues and settled on the genre, then we just stoned there cos we really didn’t know how best we could portray our theme. Val came and things became better after that! We adopted one of her ideas and things just fell into place. Now our timeline is pushed forward by one week. But I guess it won’t be too easy since none of us have any expertise on videoing or even video editing. Nevertheless, it was a good start. We felt so proud of ourselves after that.=)

Lunched with og after that. Didn’t expect that cos we didn’t plan it. Farah and I just crashed the stompaids meeting actually. So we just sat there crapping till about 3 plus before we went over to jon’s place to print their proposal. Dong was given the task of submitting the proposal before 5pm, so farah and I just followed him. In the end, dong treated farah and I to island creamery at great world city.=P then dong was tricked by us into believing that farah drove to school on her own, and he was heading back to school when we were wondering how come he went that direction. Then we started laughing like mad at dong for believing us. He felt so cheated. Heh.

dong drove by rj and wanted to go take a look. So in the end, we dropped by rj. He was so amazed at how rj students go back to school on a Saturday just to study. I took a ball from the welfare room and we started playing bball. Made me think back on my rj 6h days.=X then by then, it was already 6 plus and I was supposed to get to jun’s house by 8pm. Realized it was impossible and so I very kindly asked dong to send me to jun’s. heh. And he really did! He was being so nice.=) just that on the way, he kept suaning me and farah. But I think both of us are used to it. It was so fun just simply hanging out like that.

Dong sent jun and I to josie’s house too for council gathering. Quite fun too to just sit there and enjoy the company. Talked to some of the councilors too. After the whole thing, Kang’s dad sent jun and I to jun’s house and jun and I just started our chatting. It’s always so good talking to jun.

Then jun gave me a bottle of xiang si dou. I was so surprised when she gave me my present. And a long long note. I was reading through the note on my way home and I was tearing as I did so. I seriously can’t imagine life after jun leaves. No more such stayovers when I can feel so comfortable. And no more friend to really confide in. of cos I can still do so over msn or email, but it’ll be so different. Hai. Shan’t think too much about it for now.

Felt a bit bad last night, cos jess asked me to go over to her house and cherry also asked if I wanted to go for supper, but I rejected them both. Really felt quite bad, but ah well. I can’t split myself.=X

Went home for a while, before heading down to zl’s house, where I am now, to mug. Feel so tired from all the activities before today, but no choice, I can’t possibly sleep in his house rite.

Prelims for j2s start tmr. Really wish all of them best of luck. Bet all of them are super stressed now, and I feel so sad for them. But at the same time, I feel so relieved that all these are over already. And that my life now seems to be going uphill, very gradually though. But it’s ok.

Tmr will be a driving day. Will have two lessons tmr, one in the morning, and another at night. Then Tuesday. I still wanna get my license by then. Top of my list right now.=)

please let me pass.

another week of school has come and gone.

monday was driving and tuition. mr james didn't remember that my test is in one week's time, so he was still dragging my lessons. when i reminded him, he just sat up and said that he had to start cancelling his other lessons. heh. but it's seriously quite scary. i really dun want to fail and have to take lessons all over again. argh. shall be optimistic.

tuesday. first presentation in bizad. econs. it was fine i guess, just that i think i screwed up one question.=X and my tutor went to explain the questions that i went through all over again. so sad. heh. went to parkway to have dinner with cherry. ate at ajisen. i guess the food was not bad, but the company was better.=) went snacks-shopping after that and bought a lot of food so that i won't fall asleep during lectures! farah and mel kept laughing at me when i told them i bought a lot of food.=/

went for free hairstyling in school. my hair wasn't really styled, just straightened.

doreen and cherylene after we styled our hair.

wed. long day. first gek2003 tutorial. i got a shock when our tutor came into class. he basically looks so young that he can be one of us and nobody will think he's out of place. but he's a rather good teacher. his summary was good enough for me to understand a lot of things in the module. and bro kanna arrowed to be group leader too. haha. then he left me all along and went to meet someone.=P

thurs. met og for lunch at arts and bumped into ilman and some other rj people. quite a fun lunch cos of the convos we had. now i've like joined the group of meanies.=X ah well. then had lessons, went for agm (which to be honest wasn't impressive at all), and had dinner with og again. we went to alexandra for dinner. dong drove farah, michael and i home. when we were at michael's aunt's house, we hung around and chatted further. then we decided to go to a coffeeshop nearby for a drink. it was really quite fun. just chilling at night with such great company. better adjective would be amusing. can really laugh non-stop when i hang around with this bunch of people.

then we decided to drive to some place nearby, michael and farah took turns to drive, but i was too hum to try.

this is a photo of michael, wearing a formal shirt and folded pants, with socks but wearing slippers, posing behind dong's car. the things that my og people will do.


decided to join internal affairs (headed by michael) and prob publicity (headed by lingzi) sub-comms. i shud stop being a slacker. heh. was quite surprised that i was actually quite strongly recommended, considering the fact that no one in mc actually knows how i work and have seen and experienced my working style before, and that i'm not exactly close to the mc people. ah well. i shall just see how much i can contribute to bizad. it's prob gonna be a very different experience from rg and rj days.

start of my 4-day weekend again.=) i'll be quite busy still though. but rather exciting i would say. i wanna get driving out of my to-do-list!

happy birthday jess!!=D

i think maybe it's the fact that part of my million-dollar questions was answered, so i feel a LITTLE happier these two days.

went back to rj for teachers' day on fri. took two photos with my phone camera. quality is not bad rite.=P 3 megapixels leh.

kang!


darinne who came down to the canteen for lunch in the midst of her mugging. stupid girl got 3 As and 1 D and yet she was complaining saying that she'll fail.-_-

helped zl with As for the whole of ytd. at the same time i was doing my uni work and of cos advanced readings for my gem module. zl was so amazed that i could read 60+ pages of the gem tb at one go without getting distraction. haha. somehow it's quite interesting, just that i dun go read up on info on my own, so i know very little of the politics in singapore. didn't manage to finish up mno one-pager and read up on other stuff though.=X

sort of planned out his studying plan for him as well. dropped by his house after tuition on fri. was quite shocked when he msged me that he was quite lost. so i might drop by his house a few times next week to force him to study. i was being quite an evil teacher though, kept waking him up to study, making sarcastic remarks about his inability to focus, etc. he said he's quite scared of me. and stupid lar he, went to tell his family about my studying background, so they all think i'm some super damn smart person, which isnt the case.=X

woke up earlier today to send heidi off at the airport. so sad we didnt even have a proper meeting before she flew.=X


heidi and i just in front of the departure gate.

then from the airport, i took a bus (i've been taking a lot of buses these days cos i bought the concession pass! must make it worth it rite.=P) to amk hub. had a secret mission on hand.=D heh ok lar. was liaising with cynli the whole time and i was told to buy a cake. so went to get one, then passed it to the kbox person before going into the room for 2 1/2 hrs of singing! oh man been a LOONG time since i went kboxing, and it was soooo fun! jess and ja were screaming for some english songs, and it was simply hilarious just to see and hear them do that. i really laughed a lot lar. and the same problem arises everytime i go kbox with friends, i know and want to sing a lot of chinese songs! so turn out didnt have time to finish some of them, but it's ok.=) at least i got to kbox.=P

halfway through, the staff came in with the cake.


us at the kbox room, with the cake.

after kbox, we went to jess house to chill. loved this series of photos man! a few more in ja's camera.


cynli!


cynli ja!


ja! finally a proper photo rite. =P


cynli and jess. i like this photo! too bad ja had to be the camerawoman.=X


jess! one of very few photos we took together! wanted to look for a photo for part of her bday present, but could only find one! so tragic lar!


ja! she looks so attitude here, but i like this photo.=)


oh man ja acting cute.=P

we were watching some *ahem* show using jess' laptop. must say i was really quite enlightened. haha. didn't know i dunno so much stuff lar.=X then we just started talking about a lot of stuff. i really enjoyed the convos cos i nv had so frank friends. talked quite in depth about stuff, and for a lot of topics, i found myself telling them stuff that i nv really told others. it's times like these when i really treasure these friendships of mine.

self-consciousness - is it a good or a bad thing? sometimes i feel so tired of having to keep watching my words and actions, but yet i realised i can never stop doing it. i'm a naturally cautious person too, with no intent of showing my emotions to others readily.

my driving test is coming soon. feeling quite scared about it. like i seriously want to get it over and done with. but everytime i feel such urgency, the thing will just get dragged on and on. hopefully i'm not so suay this time round. PLS LET ME PASS FIRST TIME!!!