Happy New Year!

An old Indian who lived up Middle Fork said that this would be the year of the Dark Horse. Since Michael Jackson, the king of pop is gone there is nothing standing in our way. We'll be at Texas Pride Grill in Jan, Feb and Mar. Dates will follow. I hope you all have a wonderful new year and may all your resolutions be easy to break without remorse.

Dark Horse Corralled at Texas Pride Friday Dec 18

Dark Horse will play from 6 to 9 on Friday, December 18, at the Texas Pride Grill in Huntsville. This will be a softer more "gentle" version with some Holiday music throughout. Not a lot of seating so come early and bring the whole family. It will be a fun night. The food is great and the prices are right. See ya there. Dark Horse Dave.

this is awesome

It's a Dark Horse Saturday night! This Saturday the 19th we'll be at Texas Pride Grill in Huntsville from 6-9 pm. Trying to "hold back" the summer days. Bring a jacket and lawn chair and plenty of friends. We start right at 6 and play non-stop till 9. Three solid hours of great music. Hope to see you there.

Summer's last Dark Horse Concert Fri 21

Dark horse concert Fri the 21st at Texas Pride BBQ starting at 6 ending at 9. Bring a chair, coat, kids and blanket. This is in Huntsville not Eden. Concert is free. This is the last of our summer concerts  I hope to see you there

Dark Horse at the fair this Wednesday

We will be at the Weber Co. Fair this Wednesday from 8:30 pm to close.

If you're there stop and say, "Hi."

We will be performing some live amputations if the Health Dept. will give us approval. You might see a foot or two pop off.


I hope to see ya there.

Dark HOrse Playing thE 31st of July at the Texas Pride BBQ in Huntsville, Utah

This is the link where we are playing.
 
http://www.texaspridebarbecue.com/

The Dark Horse concert will be on Friday the 31st at Texas Pride BBQ, just west of the park behind the restaruant starting at 6 ending at 9. Bring a chair, coat, kids and blanket. This is in Huntsville not Eden. Concert is free. I hope to see you there. 
Dark Horse will be playing at the Texas Pride BBQ from 6 to 9 thE 31st Friday in Huntsville. It is on the West side of the Park and in the back of the resturant. It's free. Bring coats, chairs and a blanket and be prepared to enjoy a great night on Friday the 31st. See ya there. All are invited. dc

What you would do..........?

A number of years ago I was at this fancy smancy party talking to some up-itty fancy smancy folks and while I am eating a macaroon homemade cookie I realize that I have this huge hair in my mouth. I am standing right next to three people who are conversing with me. What do you think I did and what would you have done? Please post your responses............

I know I'm getting Older because............

I have had thoughts like, I'm driving down the road and I think, "oh, my hell, I forgot how to drive and I can't remember how far away from a fire hydrant one can park. Is it 20 feet or 200 feet?" I found out when I took the drivers test that the scoreing officer will give you a correct answer if it is more conservative. Like the question was; what is the speed limit in a school zone? I said 2 mph and he said that's wrong but if you believe that you'll be ok. So he gave me the question right. I find my self trying to justify speeding around the damn. I think I'll say, on a curve your radar won't be accurate because I was on the outside lane. I use my mother in laws disability parking pass that is expired but if I get caught I'll say, "2008? Are you sure? Oh, my hell she gave me the wrong one. She's blind you know." I think that will work. or, This trailer is under 750 lbs and so it doesn't need lights. If I can lift the corner off the ground will you believe it's under that weight? Of course I'd have to say I had a bad back. Anyway, I'm getting older and I'm thinking older. The other day a pretty girl walked by me in the hall and I thought "gee, I sure hope I don't break wind right now."

A Piece of Pirate Talk taken from my faceBOOK

This was taken from my FaceBook. You mates will enjoy it.

David Carver says: This pirate english is easy because I have been wearing my eye patch for the last 3 weeks. I can speak raccoon also if I have to.

Then, C Joleen Bailey Pearce Asks:
Is Raccoon tough to learn?

I say, that's a good question and people ask me it all the time. Speaking Raccoon is easy, understanding is hard at best. I'll answer the last one first. If you hear someone speaking raccoon you have two choices, 1. give them what they want or 2. slap them up the side of the head and say, "stop that dumb ass thing and tell me what you want." I've always known raccoon as I was raise by a family of them-that's me on the left.

When I was in elementary school I was sent to a speech therapy class and after a few days there with no improvement so the "head" lady came to visit. My teacher said something in a whisper to the head lady-a huge lady with big bossums.

She, the big lady came over to me and listened to me for just a few seconds and then she raised up her arms with the skin flapping underneath and said,

"good hell Mary, the boy's speaking Raccoon!" She then grabbed me and tried to smother me in those big bossums and I guess it helped because from then on I knew want I wanted in life and was able to speak good.

The Day I almost died by dave carver-recently

So the other day I'm driving around the dam heading to town and I see a white thing that looks like an iceberg just off the wind surfer's point. I say to myself, "What the hell is that?" I want to get a closer look so I turn off the road to check it out. As soon as I start to turn I see a car in front of me and there are a lot of cars behind me. So I think to myself, "What would Michelle Christy do in this situation?" She would act like she was in a movie and just keep going and pull off the road going 50 miles an hour. That's great for Michelle, but for me, I think, I'll play like I do this all the time and just go flying off the road like some dumb ass. When the dust and rocks settle I play like I'm looking at what turns out to be 40 Pelicans in a mass just sitting there waiting for me to crash through the guard rail and fly down the embankment and settle into a watery grave. Lucky for me there wasn't anyone that I knew when I pulled my little stunt. Michelle doesn't have to worry about competition from me.

My Clock on the BLOG Doesn't WORK

So I've been waiting for my clock on the right side of this blog to get working again like my atomic clock in the bathroom and it still isn't working. Therefore for you that are using it to know when to go to work, I'll keep changing the AM to PM when I check it as that's the only thing I can change. This will make it easier for you to go to work either in the morning or at night instead of visa-versa. I hope that's not too inconvenient for you or you could call me at 801-791-0075 and I'll tell you what time it is. Thanks

Hypo con dree act---act

Sometimes Grandma or most older people focus too much on their health as that's all they have to do. Recently, Grandma thought her face was going to explode because it was so painful. Her sinuses and jaws were really hurting her. After threats of needing to be taken the to emergency room, I finally relented and said I would get her to a doctor. I thought how much it was going to cost and how much time it would take and how far away an appointment was going to be. So I made an appointment with her dentist as he's really good at getting her in. I took her to the dentist and he took a lot of X-Rays(she loves stuff like that) and gave her a prescription for a low dose of antibiotic. This was really good since it was fast and cost a lot less. I went to the "pharma"(as she calls it) and bought a small pack of Tic-Tacs thinking that would be just as good. I took the label off and said they were miracle pills and that they would taste like candy-it was a new marketing strategy they were trying out. As it turned out, she was great and the pain went away and for half the cost and her breath is much improved also. A happy ending.

TIMESHARE, my BUTT. It was TIME TAker

Kelli inspired me to write of my experience at the timeshare place in Florida. Her husband Chad got us a free day at this place and all we had to do is listen to a 20 min spiel on their program-or so they say. We arrived late and they said we could come down to the lobby anytime to hear the "presentation." When we got there the guy was a real as... hol... saying if we didn't hurry up we couldn't get the free night and it would cost $175. So we went with them to the presentation place as we walked in we saw a room full of people and none of them were talking but all were looking down at the floor-that's a red flag I learned later. I got in line to give my information to the clerk and stood next to this very nice old guy doing the same thing when all of a sudden this lady came bursting out of the door to the back office yelling at the top of her lungs saying stuff like. "These Go# \da*m$^# Bas&$#s lie @$ to you. They say it will only take 20 minutes and we've been here for 2 hours and they won't let you got, the sons of B*%$#@!)*s! The guy next to me says, "Oh, dear. I certainly hope not." in the kindest voice. This was a huge red flag. We went into this big room with very loud music playing where we sat at a table and then met a nice young lady who said,
she came back just for us from her vacation day because she was so impressed with our information. She must have liked our names as that's all the info we had given them so far.
She told us a little about the timeshare and how her family had a timeshare and that her little brother had died and all her memories were of their vacations at the timeshare. I started crying at hearing this but Linda just sat there like a "bump on a log" with her arms folded and a scowl on her face. I learned later that it was an act she was putting on. That story didn't seem to change Linda so the lady told of when her mother died while they were just coming back from their timeshare and they were happy they had that time together especially when her mother reached out her hand from the bloody car crash and said in broken voice, "promise me you'll never sell the condo." She then collapsed into a coma and
the paramedics said how much they enjoyed their condos. The sales lady just kept telling sad and yet kinda exciting stories and I kept crying and Linda just kept sitting there. After two hours and three times to the bathroom and four bowls of popcorn and 6 free cokes, I think we're done. We kept telling the lady that I get sick flying on planes-I don't, but Linda said I did, so I went along with it thinking there must be a reason for not wanting to travel any where. We stand up and the lady says follow me and we went out back and I see an golf cart and I find out that we are going to tour the facility. Holy, snikes! What happened to being done!? We get into the golf cart and look a four different condos. They actually looked pretty nice to me and I'm thinking we should get one but Linda is still looking down and is kinda grey in the face so I don't push it. We are then handed off to another guy who starts the same bull sh.... story again! I think that this is incredible. "What are the chances that two different people have brothers and mothers that die after they stay in a condo?" This timeshare owning sounds just too dangerous to me. I start to voice my concern but Linda kicks my foot just as I'm starting to talk so I don't. Then we're handed off to another guy and buy this time the entire room if empty-mind you there were at least 30 people there when we started. The lights are turned off and our car is the only one in the parking lot. We now have been there over 4 hours-no sh...t-4 hours. They say the same dam... things to us-the best being, "What do we have to do to have you sign today?" I think, blow your head off would be good or let me smash your hand in the door for a starter. Linda still hasn't changed her posture. Over 4 hours and she still looks exactly the same. They say, OK you win let's take you to the office and get your paperwork. I think, Yes!. We go into an office where the "hammer" is and we sit down. This cute little gal comes in and says, "What do we have to do to have you sign to day?" That does it! I've gone over the edge. I reach up to take my hat off and I catch my glasses and pull everything off at the same time and they fall all over the place like some dumb as.... old guy triping over himself, I say, "Good L... lady we've been here almost 5 hours, the carlot is empty, the room is empty there is no one left. We just want to get the hell outta here! My face is all red, Linda now has changed her attitude. She thinks I'm going to deck this girl. I should have. Let's just say Linda won because she only said, 5 words the whole time-We don't like to travel. An unforgetable experience.

Channeling for Grandma

Grandma doesn't use the computer so she is not into anything like blogs, facebook or such. I had the idea that if I channeled her through ME into a blog she could communicate with all of you.
So here goes....this may take a minute....... I can sense her near, nearer, Oh, wait. that's Brown Dog...Back to Grandma... Grandma, are you there? Yes, son-in-law I'm here.

Don't count me out yet. This Old grey mare ain't what she used to be. I've been around the block a few times. This could be the end. The're not ready for me in heaven. I've been a little naughty upstairs. I get the craziest things. Have you ever heard of swollen legs? I hear Tea for Two and God Bless America in my hear all day long. Doctor what causes that? I never really liked either one of those songs. Can you take the garbage out after this session? ( this is me-I would Grandma but it was picked up just yesterday. How about waiting a week?) I just like to get it out of here because it smells. (There isn't anything in it) OK, Just don't forget to take it out. .....I'm losing her. There Grandma was channeled into my Blog. Amazing.

RACCon TAILS for my Gang Buddies

I want to add to the assessories list available to members of the "Fake Eye-Patch" Gang. We now have available Raccon Tails! Yes, no other gang has them and they are exclusive here.
Just $5.95 per tail with your $2.75 Fake Eye-Patch. You'll really look groovey.

Available in small, medium and large or the one size fits all.
You'll be a hit and everybody will want one just to be like you.

JOIN my NEW CLUB

I'm thinking of making a club or gang called the "Fake Eye-Patch" club. I actually like the Fake Eye-Patch Gang better than club. We would have a lot in common as we would have these eye-patches that we would wear whenever we wanted to belong to something bigger than ourselves. We could wear them to church. Like when you get fired from your job or somebody hits your car in a parking lot and you just need somebody to put their arm around you give you a big hug and say, "I love your eye-patch. When did you lose your eye?" You could flip it up and say, "Gotcha." Then blink a few times and then ask them if they want to join the gang and tell them where to get or make their own eye-patch.
If Lowell Stallings was still here we could elect him president and he could give a speech and stuff. Anyway, I think being part of a gang is really fun as I feel a little bit rebellious and I'm the only member of the gang so far.

I'm going out right now and "tag" somebody's barn or fence or house. I'll use some secret phrase like, "one eyes blind" or "blind in one eye" or "still crazy with one eye." Look for it around the Valley. Let me know if you want to be a part of this gang. The dues will only be $2.75 per month for shipping and handling sending eye-patches out. It would be a little more if you want and eye-patch that you can see through.

Hope to see ya soon.