Haa both Ken n Ivy told me to endure at the same time.. hee.. I wanna end exams asap man...
but damn.. I dun think can finish reading gen bio. haiz... This sem is real bad..
Every paper turns out lousier..
The thing is they r qns that i find doable actually but either no time.. forgot.. or poor doing management.. (esp econometrics. so wanted to do the paper again afterwards)
PF is realll real bad.. Wonder if I can get even a C.. haiz.

Oh.. been having diarrhoea since yday...
Was feeling sick n went to the toilet once b4 the PF paper.. thank god I did not have the urge to rush to the T in the midst of exams...
I think I suxx big time at being a student.
::Running away from delusions::

I feel like crying.. can't I?
::Running away from delusions::

Just happened to catch David Tao's Mtv on TV.. Ni Ai Wo Hai Shi Ta..
He's one the few singers that I admire.

Oh.. think I watched this before.. but the Mtv tells a story so different from what I would have thot of from the lyrics ha.
Tear a bit.. not sure y too.. but ya.. guys can be real jerks..
And y are gers so stupid too..
But I guess there are stupid gers and guys.. Balance.'
Ying Yang..
Whatever you may name it

What kind of gals will you guys like?
The wild and passionate?
the demure sweet albeit boring?
Yadayada..
the list goes on.. I bet some guys dunno themselves..

Oh well.. I got this from Ken.. think its a quote from My sassy girl?

"Fate builds the bridge of coincidence, for those who believe in it and work hard for it."

I wonder... how much you really know about me.

Kor called when I'm on way back today. He thot I finished my papers :) someone's been having fun huh.. oh ya he's the one who got me motivated once again unknowingly... to play hard work hard.. ;p
Well plus his mom too la heh..

Can't wait for everything to be over..
Then I can go Party party party pArty partY partYYyy...
To be crazy for awhile..

Happiness... to have him back ha.
to have frens who can be there for me
Kakis that I can ask out during the hols..
Ivy.. our promise.
R n J.. make sure u guys r free too ya? Both so busy with gal n wk now huh lol..

Ken has been spending lots of time accompany me study..*reallyreally appreciate* n me.. haa listening to his woes.. but 51 days more.. and he will be able to execute his mission heh.. pray for him that all will go well :)
Its time.. n he deserves something good.
But u got to have more guts lol..

GM too.. haa. cute.but at least he dares to make it known..
Jia you jia you!! heh

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Depressed actually.. have been for awhile today.
So*shrugz*.. it doesn't matter at all.isn't it.
I have Ken to punch when I need to.. but ya.. like what I have told him.."..
...

It's ok.. hazie is gd. Will not learn to be dependent lol.
Perhaps thats the trick to it.. spend more time with ppl who loves u.. haa that sounds so much like what Ronson would say ha.

yea...its always gd to feel wanted..instead of a burden..or a responsibility?
Sorie.. my thots seem to be flying everywhere today.
Haven got to sleep..
Paper went bad..
It should be ok.. cos I thot this is gonna be my worse paper le.. but after mugging the whole of last nite, I was actually quite satisfied..never known so much abt Econometrics and actually hoped..
Yeah.. thats the word.. Seldom really hope much.. nowadays it seems.
Cos it causes the greatest disappointments.
::Running away from delusions::

Finally home again!! hee
Took a lift from k's fren. was walking pass HM n kena stunned by a cat.. bleah
Looked down n there lazing on the concrete low wall is a cat.. Big sparling eyes.. followed by a almost instantaneous snarl.."meow"

Lol..

Thinking perhaps I can get a cat for hall if I do get one...
Doggies will be too noisy..
Cats can be pretty clean..

Erm.. siao liao.. I haven finish labour..
meaning less than 24 hrs for econometrics..

shit
burr..
damnation.

N I wanna go Thailand!! C.. stupid idiotic TaIwan trip.
Erm.. c lo. Just got the news today too.. hopefully everyone pushes it back.. anyone interested?
Heh..
Tentative.. no time to think abt that la.. haiz

I wanna party!!!
haa..
Gonna start following the motto of "Work hard, Play hard"

But start with Playing hard.. heh
Ivy!.. hee
It will be time to be crazy Reaaalll soon.. damn. can't wait.. betcha can't too hee..

Where's mommy...

Oh yes.. I'm grateful to quite a few peeps.. but think I will write a proper "thank you" after wrapping up this mess. lol
Plus pics!>. n many more posts to come.. keke
::Running away from delusions::

Just played this.. early in the morning haa.. oh well..
Hey try it out for urself.. I got 4 chickies on first try heh..

Just realised I have a tagboard PLUS comment link at the end of each of my blog.. hee ya was rather ambitious.. or Shua Ku when I first modify my template lol..
But hardly anyone post comments hee.. still I've decided to leave it there.. for those who rather post comments lol
::Running away from delusions::

Haa.. watched this...
had a laugh.. esp behind

It wasn't that furnie actually but maybe cos I badly need one? ha.
::Running away from delusions::

Finally going to bed now.. erm. eva since I woke up on Friday's morning after a couple hours of sleep..
Amazed.. actually still rather awake now.. but think I should be sleeping le..

nite peeps~
::Running away from delusions::

I've just adopted a pet hee.. lol its pretty cute.. click on it!!.. it loves to run on the wheel.
lol.

I haven slept for 36hrs? lost track.. thing is I'm still not tired.. erm..
Oh well.. runing outta time haiz.'
*Pray* heh
::Running away from delusions::

I'm down.
can't sleep again.. haf been having sleepless nites
give up.. i'm gettin outta here.. think i shall head down to YIH

Seems like everything I dois a mistake...
just too tired to think anymore..
explanations dun wk anymore
expectations r emptiness in the end..
::Running away from delusions::

Was on train earlier on.. N had this absolute resolution.
That I'm gonna stay in sch next sem.

Never been so sure.
There are so much I want to do.. Which I may never have the chance to after my Uni life..

Thot sometimes I'm rather sick of myself.. n realised today tt tt's not the case..
I just need a change.. and perhaps have been lacking the courage to do so.
I need to change my lifestyle.. its time to.
Was feeling so overwhelmed on the train tt I had tears welling up.. yeah its weird.

do support me...

Love me.
::Running away from delusions::

Got upset again..
I thot I felt better the past wkend
Gal u need to control urself.. Can't let ur emotions be that easily affected by others..

Its pathetic how I've got to spend money to make myself feel slightly better these days..
Only to find that I have to find more money ha..

Think I may get that Balenciaga bag.. or is that Allison Faithful better?.. dilemma.
::Running away from delusions::

Only woke up at 6pm today hee... well i slept at 9am!
Had a really weird dream just b4 I woke up.. always wonder abt those dreams that close to waking up.. r they dreams or thots.
But this one is really really weird..

I dreamt of..
Key ppl: Clement fr Vj. Abigail.. Mum.. This person mum noes, I think.

Of all pple C n A?? so weird...
Then a mixture of Uni and Vj. Weird weird weird
N Clement!! god.. haa.. haven even see or thot of him for ao long.. (he's just a classmate fr Vj.. who stays at Hougang too)

man.. its weird.

Oh n I just saw Abi's mum's msg abt a book review abt her on pg 5..But she sent that msg to my other hp which I dun check. dated 13/11 erm..
Na. she's one of my least fav kid.. haiz.
::Running away from delusions::

I dun wanna go Taiwan this year..

I want to see for myself how will West End Meet be like...
Hey i've got 2 invites

I will be missing Zoutout too (i think).. which everyone will be going!.. humph
i wun be able to rub against all the babes there... n there will be the hunks to c..
The guys will all go crazy lo.. those bastards.
No.. I'm not happy at all about Taiwan.

I want to spend more time with frens whom will be leaving Singapore soon for long long time..
Danny kor too!! he's will be leaving soon after Dec ba..
:(
:(:(
:(:(:(

Not happy.
Oh ya... anyone volunteer to help me type a letter?
I sucks big time at things like that.
Shall attempt myself. hmph

Learning to be more independent n strong.
Pple are always disappearing...
::Running away from delusions::

Good luck.. for a paper tmr
::Running away from delusions::

I HAD ENOUGH FROM YOU TOO

can't believe I teared again. so damn dumb.
::Running away from delusions::

Seems like many ard me are having problems.. n doubts.. ??? and feeling lost?
Do advices from others help?
Will those closest to u give the best advice?

Sometimes I really wonder..
But I guess end of the day.. it doesn't matter.. no matter what others may say.. its your heart tt will tell u the answer..
maybe your brains too..

And I think then you will not regret.. cos that is truely what you have thot of doing.. wanted to do.
Only time when I regret is when I follow my brains n I regret it afterwards.. Cos then I've made the wrong choice myself...

So shld I follow brains or heart?..
Shld you follow your brains or heart... ...
::Running away from delusions::

Back to watching Naruto recently.. erm.. stopped at ard epi.30 last time I think.. Haven watch today. Think perhaps will catch one epi..

Eyes beady lol..

Thanks for all the late cats..
*Meow*

Kinda sick.. real sick of being asked abt certain qns.
kinda pissed off too.
::Running away from delusions::

Hee... I placed bids on these 2 skirts..
Are they nice?..














Saw others too.. but too ex :(

Both Abercrombie n Fitch.

Got shit from mum.. (*%&%$#()
Need to raise funds for hall... If I can get it..

Hate the fact that I'm single child.

Oh.. met up with Shirleen today.. changed my sandals.. got eyebrows trimmed..
Went Jurong.. Then sch.

AND spent money again today.

Oh ya.. forgot to mention hee.. I got a propective permanant part time job offer from Apple.. the Cine new branch opening soon..
Suppose to send the guy my resume.. but he din msg me email add??

Thanks Timonthy.. :)
::Running away from delusions::

This is gonna be one long blog.. Yawn.. n I'm tired.. slept only 1-2 hrs in the wee hrs of this morning.. but not bad a day..

Gonna break down my blog :p
Let the pictures tell the story..

N blogger can't load them... gave up. Argh.
::Running away from delusions::

Did my pedi mani today haa.. been a long while..Kit off today.. but had a nice chat with Dennis..

Bought $22 worth of junk food!! From Coop hee..

Erm.. just finish Gen Bio assignment.. now need to start study for SOM test..
Haiz.. got to wake at 6 for the Jap kids hee.. erm think dun need to sleep le haa..

There is this real cute puppy being shown on tv now.. real cute.. haiz.

Photos n others another day, no time la..

Gd luck for paper.
::Running away from delusions::

Cried... exhausted. Cried again.. n can't remember le.. Think I slept.

Tmr will be bringing a grp of Japanese 17 yr olds out for a tour.. haa.. ya.. hopefully they enjoy shopping hee.. then I can do my share too..
But need to rush back in time for SOM test.. which means I have to be ready for it by tonight.. shouldn't be a prob ba

And assignments by today too. yup

Ok..
I need chocs. n seaweed.
Should I go buy b4 heading down sch? but will have to lug the bag ard..
And do my manipedi today?..
::Running away from delusions::

I'm hyper now.. its nuts HAA MUAHAhaahaa

Mood undergoing drastic change lol..
Was damn down n out yday :( tearing on off lol.. Stayed up the whole nite with Ivy at her room..
Erm.. din really accomplish much.. cos I just can't understand the econometrics shit.
Tried to sleep at 7.30.. cos thot will have to rest a bit to last the long next day..
haa.. yeah I did lay there.. for like 4 hrs haa.. but I couldn't sleep... Thots keep swirling around in my head... unhappy thots actually.. was soo much.. that I think I got numbed or something.. haa. dunno what was I thinking le.. lol..
dun wanna think tooo..

N now damn hyper lol.. adrenaline ba.. hiak.. ivy too.. din sleep.. too much caffine?
THanks Ivy!! for being oOo soo hospitable hee.. thanks for being there for me last nite tooo.. its great. Sorta snap outta it.
Bleah.. gaa Guys are all jerks! haa.. but we can't do wo them. Woe..
Actually not really la.. can survive wo them lol..

Haa.. pple ard me are all gettin happier today!! so happie.. hee.. lets all me happie...
Ok. sounds dumb..
lol.. Ivy thinks I'm crazy now Muahahaa..

J n R both happier tooo.. can understand haa.. me still have much to go..!! ARgH!!

ok.. enough of my crap.. haa.. May all of you be happie out there :) Esp to my dearest Frens n Chill out buddy :D
*huggies**
::Running away from delusions::

People change..
Changed till a stage whereby I could not recognise.
I could not fathom.
Its.. too drastic.

I shall adapt.. Suppose to be an adept at that
Think I lost myself for awhile.
Pple.. keep me sane.

All these hurting is accumulating
... leading to such a potential scar
.... which I wonder if I'll eva survive from.
::Running away from delusions::

I sincerely believe in Reincarnation.
::Running away from delusions::

Nope.. I dun think I'm in a depression.
::Running away from delusions::

Can't believe I'm soooo so silly.. erm.. well its still a lie.. haa
But one that I dun mind now..
::Running away from delusions::

no matter wat becomes u
if so sadness may take u over
if so happiness may not find u
so wat
::Running away from delusions::

Why do you guys have to hide it from me?
I dun get it.. its no big deal.. so y both of you have to cover it up
Least expected that.

I'm upset today. By several issues I guess.. Was great in the morning..
Last straw for the day.
Think its fate that I should be left alone.
::Running away from delusions::

There is this variety show now on Channel U regarding life in Shanghai..
Its shown weekly. haiz..
That is the only place in China that I yearn to go

Liren has been there.. Shanghai has a better transport system compared to S'pore..
N yesh.. its a fun place.
::Running away from delusions::

Can't stop eating.. :(
I'm fat le..
Hate exams period..
Had mee, cheezels and guava just within the last 1/2 hr..

See what I mean?
::Running away from delusions::

Oh freak.. theres this HUGE orange moth flying ard me now...
N i'm typing with my head tucked as close to my bod as possible..

Mum used to tell me moths could be.. ermherm spirits, so just leave them alone..
but this on is by far the largest I'm seen alive.. n Orange! so vibrant.. usually they r dull..

Argh shucks.. got an assignment due tmr n I haven started... Think can't sleep tonight le.. :(

Got a shocking piece of news today.. which makes me think quite a bit..
CM's dad just passed away today.. supposedly peacefully while at wk..
Still.. the familiy is griefing I'm sure.. so many new problems arising for them.. He's the sole bread winner.. So what is CM gonna do from now?

This is so sudden.. put myself into his shoes.. I wonder what steps would I take.. How would I cope with it..
Mum is all I've got..

The fragility of human kind is scary..
Ppl.. take some time to let those you love or care about know how you feel... If you love someone.. tell her/him.. else you may regret not being able to do so..
No one knows what will happen tmr.. in 1 week, or even a month.

People reading this.. if you care about me.. pls call or drop me a msg.. heh..
Will be happie to noe. Just in case...
::Running away from delusions::

*Love*
The guy who loves you, can't tell you the reason why he loves you. He only knows that, in his eyes, you are the only one.

The guy who loves you, although he always makes you mad, but whatever he has done is for your own good.

The guy who loves you, seldom praises you. But in his heart, you are the best. Only he knows it.

The guy who loves you, will scold or complain if you didn't reply his messages or answer his calls because he cares for you.

The guy who loves you , only drops his tears in front of you. When you try to wipe his tears, you are touching his heart , the heart which beats for you.

The guy who loves you , will remember every word you said , even if accidentally. And he will use the word always at the nick of time.

The guy who loves you, will not give any promises that easily because he don't want to break the promise. He wants you to believe him and give you the happiest and safest life ever after.

The guy who loves you, always tells you not to think too much, because he has already planned it for you. He wants to give you the best life in the future. He wants to give you a surprise, believing that he can do it.

The guy who loves you, maybe can't remember those special occasions like anniversaries, but he does know that, every second he lives, he's loving you, no matter what day is it.

The guy who loves you, won't say "I love you" that easily, because everything he has done for you already shows that he love you. He will only say it at the special situations because he don't want you to misunderstand. He wants you to know that he really loves you.

The guy who really loves you, will feel that sometimes certain things only have to say once because he thought that you might already understand him. If talk so much, he will feel that there's nothing you will cherish.

The guy who loves you, will go to the airport to fetch you but he won't carry a bunch a rose and call you darling like what you expect. He will carry your luggage and ask you " Why are you becoming that thin within two days?" with his sincere heart.

The guy who loves you, will listen quietly to you when you are mad. When you have finished, he will say " You still got class tomorrow, sleep earlier." with a smile.

The guy who loves you, don't know whether he should call you when you are angry but he will send a message to you after few hours. If you ask him why he called that late, he will say "When you are angry, my explanation are all rubbish. But when you calm down, my explanation will only really works."

The guy who loves you, always treat you like a little girl. But everytime he want to make a big decision, he will first want to hear your advice.

The guy who loves you, don't like little toys like teddy bears, but he will always put the bear you gave him at his bed.

The guy who loves you, while quarrelling, he will apologize although you are the one who's wrong. But later, he will say " Baby, actually you know its your fault, you know it urself."

The guy who loves you, seldom say sweet words. But you know, his kisses have already transfer all his passion to you.

The guy who loves you , if he can't always see you, he will try to make himself busy so that he will not have any time to think of you. Because he knew, if he did, he will keep on missing you.


Can't say totally agree on this.. cos guys will love u in their own ways. Some r pretty desirable though..

Thot this is pretty interesting.. pussy guys? or macho guys haa

On over protectionalism

When you're overly controlling, it gives off the impression that you don't trust her. If she really wants to go to a club, she'll go, but she'll just lie to you about it reaffirming your lack of trust, and it's kind of a cycle. The more you don't trust her and feel the need to control her, the more she has to lie to do the things she wants causing you to mistrust her even more when you find out. And it's so dumb to think that holding her back from going to a few parties is going to help her not cheat on you. If the girl really wants to cheat, she isn't dumb, she would find a way.

Also, when you're over protective, it really makes you look insecure and pathetic. Deep inside, you know that girls like confident guys, and that being a pussy will make her like you less. And that might be part of the reason why you feel like you need to be controlling, is that because girls cheat on pussies with confident manly men, and you don't want that to happen to you. Why don't you just be a better boyfriend; If you were a manly man, they wouldn't cheat on you with a pussy, you'd be everything they are looking for.

It seems like the only good thing that comes from being a controlling boyfriend is that you show you really care about her, or at least about not loosing her. Unfortunately, there are much better ways to show her that you care. And everyone including her knows this. Instead of showing her you care by getting mad at her when other guys smile at her, why not buy her flowers or take her on a picnic.

I'm not saying to act like you don't care if she's obviously taking the first steps to cheat on you. I'm just saying that if you know she loves you, then be confident in that and trust her more instead of being a pussy ass bitch.



On Under Protectionalism

So let's say you have this girl that you love and she happens to be really hot. Anyway, I have this watch that my father used to wear when he was still alive. It's nice looking, but it also obviously means a lot to me and I love it alot. Now, it'd be dumb for me to treat it like just an ordinary nice looking watch, because if someone were to steal it away from me, they'd only steal it because it looks nice. It's such a waste: I lost the watch I love, someone gained a watch that looks nice to them, which leads to an obvious conclusion on being under protective based on optimization of the greater good.


::Running away from delusions::

Ok.. I can't study at home..
ARGHH!!

Em.. shall blog.heh
My neighbours are indians and we always give each other goodies on our new year respectively.. heee.. so this time round.. look at what we got here!. hee.. yummy.. was craving for snacks lol.. house running out of food.. which always happen wheneva I stay ard for awhile hee.. I'm the rat lol..






















Ooooh so cute hee.. strawberry chocolate coated heart-shaped cookies! hee.. yummy..






Ooooh.. my ear holes are still infected.. thot they r better le :( Today one was oozing out pus.. gross huh.. Bleah. I need plastic earsticks.. but too lazy to buy.. n not too sure from where.. haa haven wore them since pri. sch?

Went to the Raffles Museum of Biodiversity Research.. to do this assignment for genbio.. with Irvin cos we doing together.. Ken tagged along since we all just ended lect together n he has an hr break.. totally grossed out.. took many photos which I wanna share.. but not today ya? too many la..

Hee then Ken craved for the ice-cream waffer at Sci canteen..(his suppose for coming with us) simply cos its a rare dish to find. And he finish it real fast!! lol.. I was too late.. heh..
Me and Irvin... watched on.. cos for a small waffer $2.50.. Irvin thot thats freak.. (oki he din exactly said "freak")


Guess who I met at Sci!!

Chong Hao!!! haa He's Chong Yao's bro.. whom we met later on with his gf Christine.. lol.. Chong Hao is my late-buddy from Vj hee.. we noe each other one day while being late trapped outside the gate... wondering how to get past Mr. Leong.. (Yah! I remember that operations guy's name le.. cos check tru yearbk ;P)Lol.. its fun then la..
Oh and he's the one who will buy a pair of rings each year for himself n his gf.. He told me once there was this pair with a little diamond which cost him $300 I think.. haa but once they put on a new pair.. they never took it off till the next pair.. so sweet huh..
Coincidentally I got to noe Chong Yao.. cos he's one of my fellow !nsane OGLs.. hee.. I thot he looks real familiar then.. haa so we pour out all the schools, CCAs.. then finally he said.. oh.. my bro from VJ too.. haa. ya thot they look rather alike.. n Christine is one of our !nsane freshies then. hiak hiak..
N met my dearest Dawnie!! lol.. she's rushing project with Ben.. n I keep disturbing them.. haa..

Some of these frens.. are pple who coloured my uni life for the past 2yrs.. who brought warmth to NUS for me ;D..
Of cos there are others.. n recent additions.. heh.. but for today.. I met them :)
::Running away from delusions::

I want to blog!>. abt this museum tt I've been to today.. n frens I met.. erm.. but i really shouldn't.// cos I din get to cover much wk todae. Shld start studying again..

Can't stop muching though.. n Ivy + frens out having fun now, girls' nite out :P.. Have fun IVY!!
N Ryan.. though u dunno abt this blog... haa mug hard!! gd luck for ur '0s'.
Jia you too.. for my frens in NTU.. Noe all of u are mugging now.. Exams ard the corner for them.. Think starting this friday?.. hmm.. Shan't ka jiao them.. msg me when bored or free :D
::Running away from delusions::

Been going tru' some shit lately..
and in the mist of all that I saw some hope.. n love from pple around me..
Thanks.. to Dawnie.. my all time sis.. noe u will be there end of the day..
Ivy, for accompany me and offering me a listening ear.. despite all ur assignments. (HaPpie 21st bIrthdaY too@!!)
Ken P.. for ur advice, ur time, generosity keke.. for those who still dunno, he used to have this nice comfy air-conditioned room which anyone, who is his fren, can 'borrow' for awhile to catch a nap amidst busy NUS life.. lol. Seriously, just the thot to care n be there.. Thanks.
Ronson.. sorrie for making u suffer.. haw..

And to the one, who might be upset when I'm down... Promise I'll try not to cry le..
Today shall be a special day.
Great Big Hug for my frens and beloved ones..
Haze will be fine.. she always will be yar?
::Running away from delusions::

It was pouring heavily a few nights back and while waiting for mummy to bring an umbrella down.. I saw these cute doggies lol.. Love the big one more.. So cuddly.. I want a dog one day.. but not a Maltese le.. cos I dun want to get the same breed as Boobie.. that will seem to be replacing him.. He will have his special place in my heart.

Oh sat morning.. I had to rush a cab down to Amara Hotel after just an hr's sleep... to invigilate! hee.. Ya for music theory exam held at the hotel.. for Grade 1-5. It turns out that fellow invigilators are mostly from NUS yr 2s.. cos Leonard jio one ma.. Supose to reach at 9 to help prepared tha hall b4 participants start coming in at ard 9.45am.

Hee.. I sneaked out my Razor n snapped some shots.. cos the kids are soooo cute! aha the grade 1s mainly.. Then there is this cute little ger.. my fav.. she looks so small perching on the chair.. biting her finger while frowning at the questions.. aah.. Meltz.. Too bad I couldn't capture her.. sitting at too conspicuous a place..


So walked up and down.. up and down.. then the sch kids.. damn noisy and inconsiderate at the end.. humph.. not cute at all haa.. ooh its interesting to c some things that the kids will do after finishing the paper and waiting for times up..
There one boy who managed to fix 5 pens and a ruler into something like a cross/sword/aircraft... haa.. n he's attempting to add another one lol..
Some started drawing... or making furnie faces.. Lucky kids.


There are adults taking the theory exams too.. A jap woman.. few caucasians and the whole family of papa, mama and son from China.. Plus, heard there is a pair of twins!

Well we have to sort out the papers.. Left at 12 for lunch at Subway just below..
Bought another pair of heels and projectshop bag again.. *frown*
::Running away from delusions::

Completely no mood to study..
kinda depressed..

This wun do.. Took my 'last' break yday..I need to start again today.
somehow...

I went back to VJ yday..
Changes.. n feelings r different now.
A place that I'll remember
::Running away from delusions::