Thursday, April 22, 2004
taurus horoscope

Your Thursday horoscope!
You are in trouble with someone from the past. Issues may surface today that bring up the patterns of yesteryear. This would be an excellent day to break old habits once and for all.

oh my god.. was checking al these past emails... n the more freaky things r haa... this is only one of them..
::Running away from delusions::

Subject: How guys select the girl they want to marry

A man is dating three women and wants to decide which
to marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives
each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what
they do with the money.

The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy
beauty salon, gets her hair done, purchases new
make-up and buys several new outfits, and dresses up
very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has
done this to be more attractive for him because she
loves him so much. The man is impressed.

The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She
gets him a new set of STRONG golf clubs, some new
gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes.
As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she
has spent all the money on him because she loves him
so much. Again, the man is impressed.

The third invests the money in the stock market. She
earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his
$5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account.
She tells him that she wants to save for their future
because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman
had done with the money. Then he married the one with
the largestbreasts.

Men are Men!!! they'll never change!

Haa I sorta agree.... but they do not make their decisions based just on that.. just that thats something they will always be looking at haa.. reminds me of something brought up yday..

Burr... 160!! haa... wondering how will I be able to hit when I'm slacking at home today... raining la hee.. ya going out later... to CAN... time to catch up with YY ;p

::Running away from delusions::

Your Monday horoscope!
Get ready to take a personal inventory. You might look at your life as a checklist and today as the day you sharpen the pencil. Soulmate situations benefit from a clearheaded outlook.

Your Tuesday horoscope!
You are saddened by some events today. The best part of the day may be in looking toward the future, or knowing that what you have turned down was not really your life's dream.

burr.. Keen horoscope has been chillingly... near.
::Running away from delusions::

Reached home only at 5 plus... was suppose to go mambo.. but in the end went madam wong.. heard there r 20 plus of them there haa.. n chris was with his frens there again.. hee.. was rather concerned abt me.. but felt quite bad.. hee.. cos in the end din go down.. we haven dance together b4.. emm.. another time la.. but dun think he has changed much :) get to noe Alston much better.. haiz.. everyone has their own probs in life... guess too much changes is saddening though not always bad.. its the matter of gettin used to, this i got to agree with Issac.. anyway.. left at 1 plus.. cos something cock up leaving me n Alston alone.. n the air con at the platform area seems to be off.. so hot!!>. but ya.. realised He's like me.. dun need drinks.. haa... so left at 1plus initial plans it to go to the Salsa club.. but its closed.. n since its near Raymond's place... we head down to Engross.. nice to c him again... so much to catch up with.. n he actually gave me the ultimation to be there tonight... but think I'll haf to give it a miss since Johnson wil only be free late at nite.. he thought Alston looks like the Taiwanese singer.. hee.. while frens of his thought he looks like an Hong Kong actor.. which i kinda agree better with hee.. ya.. then drove ard Geylang looking at the brothels haa.. ya.. dun qns y we are there.. reached my block at 3.. n end up chatting in his car till 5... ha.. covered many issues.. stuff abt him.. his life.. kinda get to know him a whole lot better now... oh well.. its gd to catch up with frens.. oh ya.. the talent.. not as easy as i thought.. haa time frame.. and need 160 heads.. so far got 3 guys 1 gal haa.. including alston.. actually contacted Vance for it too.. cos he falls in one of the age grp.. basic criteria is to haf gd complexion.. but make-up do the simple tricks..

Ya aching at places now... damn haa.. cos went to the gym yday... haa haven been wking out for a long time... tsktsk.. argh... 3rd day..
::Running away from delusions::

kae... passed the first 24hrs with not too much of pinning so far hee.. though I think I was a bit mopping yday.. burr.. 9 more days to put up with.... Actually was a bit regretting.. but na shouldn't venture down that path.. cos no way am I gonna hurt another soul like that.. erm.. lots of stuff going on.. schedule in a big mess haa. n haf ben procrastinating sorting them out.. but well for this wk maybe conc on nussu stuff.. n try to wrap up a portion b4 the others come in.. haa the only productive stuff i've done yday is to set a timeslot with my piano teacher haa.. ops..

Laze ard n finishing reading my novel yday.. Bitten by Kelley Armstrong not bad.. think will hunt for the sequel.. ya then got dragged out of the house by Alston... he must be the most handsome constructor I've met so far.. erm.. okok.. one of the handsome ones ard.. hiak.. n love his 'van'!!.. shit forget the name.. erm oh well its a real homey one :) n red. hot!. ya basicaly we interact in the van.. haa.. wonder how?..
1st went to Temasek Poly.. din noe its so near to Vance's place till yday ;p was at the biz park n saw Angela.. haa.. poor gal fr NTU.. still having exams.. yup took a quick drink n fries.. then its wk time again haa.. ya spent most of the time travelling fr one place to another.. n waiting a bit while Alston does his wk... even went up to his clients house at a point cos he needs to talk with the owner while some hacking job is being carried out.. oh ya.. he's in charge of gettin projects n interior renovations.. so in touch with interior designers too.. was showing me some of the designs... cool.. anyway.. he commented clients thought he looks more like a sales personnel or even an interior designer.. n yar that could be a prob as pple will think u r trying to sell haa.. but ya kinda agree he could pass for one.. oh well sent me to mummy's place.. cos meeting her for dinner :) went bugis. ohoh ya.. got Issac a presie hee.. haf been thinking of doing so eva since I spot holes in his current one... burr.. shit.. i goto rush out now.. lost track again.. burr..
::Running away from delusions::

i'm getting tired of life in a way.
everything's so identical.
it becomes a routine
there's no expectations anymore.

more friends gives u more trouble i suppose.
well.. i always believe no friends = problem free.
what 'bout u? how's ur philosophy coming along?

Nvm do understand his thoughts.. his reasoning for this one at least.. haa.. he must haf placed alot in frens hasn't he.. then again.. haa..

err.. i don't like to commit into a friendship. where it makes me feel restrained in many ways.
it's falls back to the same old thing. nothing lasts long enough. sooner or later, u be back suspended on a pendulum that never stops. going, struggling on in a rountine manner.
be expecting them to be there, u be like taking them away from their other friends.
friends, to me makes me lose directions in life, many a times.
weird, always, have this idea, of losing all friends in a single day.

nice thought tho.

but i'm at the least worried. in fact, me kinda looking forward to it.

sometimes, in the morning after i woke up, i yearn for the day to come.

the thought of me leaving the country is getting more intense nowadays. really can't wait any further.
ahh.. 2 more years to go.. sian.
what 'bout u? u like the life u living now?

it may be the same, or worse, but it be all me and ,yself, starting all over again. 0 friends. a new page, a new leaf
i'm weird i suppose.

in life, u lose some, to gain some. but there are also times, u thought of losing some and eventually, u lose everything.

life can be very rigid at times, no matter how flexible it is.


"ok... oh well just ended a draggy relationship.. n first time in my life i depend so much on my frens.."

in life, ur perspective changes drastically in parallel to time.
i used to think of leaving this place cos, the other side is much more better and all.

but now, i thought other wise, i want to leave this forsaken place for there's nothing left to offer me.
now if u notice, the intent is still clearly the same, but the reasons backing the whole motion is very different

family, they can do without me.
they're fine with me leaving too.

in life, if u get bounded by all this bonds and ties, u can't go very far in realising ur dreams/ur goals/ur ambitions......

but somehow, army made me think in a different manner. i dun feel attached to this living world sometimes.

things happen and i don't really care nor batter an eyelid...

u get so numb to the surrounding. and the clock in the body has long stopped. u feel less for people and urself.
flynn ... says:

hopefully not. so, how u feeling now? better after the break up? or u feel worse?

"not worse or better... cos think past the period"
"maybe felt a bit more refresh.."

like a butterfly fresh from the coccon?

haa thats a cute analogy..

that's nature. every one needs a new start. but not all are given a chance, a 2nd chance in life.
sad but true

i think it sometimes boils down to ur mentality..

many in life, have forgotten what the purpose in doing something.
for example, u are studying, so, what's ur purpose in studying??

so, to you, a degree is for ur survivalbility. and for whose responsibility is that for?

okay, whatever it is... me just wanna lighten u.. take it for the past half an hour, i'm just crapping. not one of those good days i'm going thru.. haha...

and for yer, wounded heart, not to worry, believe, there be a cure coming ur way soon.

just be happy, be glad that ur friends are there for u. not always are they free..

just like me. haha. busy in camp, seldom i get the chance to be at home at this hour.


study hard. for, it's u and ur mum to be proud of eventually,

err....

hey, now it's all 'bout u. dun u pull me into the picture..

u take care. me wish u good grades this term, and the ones to come. never give up, not all are given the chance. regain ur focus in life, forget about those things that will affect ur advancement in life. it's a one way ticket u holding, in this one way traffic world.

bubye... till the next time, the discussion of life and nothing but life itself shall unfold again.
haha

in the meantime, get prepared for crap.

this is good bye.. enjoy.

Haa.. ya.. bits n pieces of a conversation...
Oh well.. its hols!!! yahooo.. haa... oh well.. its a break. Many stuff to do but somehow haven sort them or organise them yet ;P.. Oh well.. it has been hols for me since 14th.. hee.. yaa.. so can sorta predict my grades... been out almost everytime when we r free... excluding studies hee.. was actually late 4 20 mins for the paper today.. but just in time for everything... had to play with Lady luck though..

Decisions.. decisions... haiz.. its time to make a decision.. again.. n kinda dread it.. oh ya.. meeting deli later tonite.. hope he remembers the smouldering iron hee.. btw.. had produced quite a number of designs... got to make a portfolio n webbie during this hols at least.. haa.. think i've spent more than 200 on cost le..

Oh yea.. think Wed nite has been significant.. weird how things can be.. ooh found a few more places today.. n rather satisfied.. at least cheaper ya.. looking forward to tmr ;p n i can officially play!... b4 its too late again
::Running away from delusions::

Felt so relieved today.. no regrets.. :) its rather cordial but hee.. cool too. N think wateva I've blogged earlier says wat i think then.. but rather rubbish now to think of it haa.. running short of time now.. so.. will be back... :p
::Running away from delusions::

And life is not forever, time only goes one way, and everyone will leave this earth, everybody has that day. And all that is ever left, are the memories to hand, to treasure against the tides of time, like footprints in the sand.

::Running away from delusions::

Just haf a sudden urge to blog... was approving a cousin's testi on friendster while got ard to reading the past testis.. Was touched.. a tug of heart.. frens that I could have known better.. but never got ard going so...

So many pple out there.. and many that I may have come across with.. but how many are my true heart buddies..? Each n every relationship between me n those who knows me can be so different... n each of us living our own lives.. how many are actually closely connected to me.. do treasure those whom I feel close to despite the distance n voidness...
Guess each of those who shared parts of my life will always be in my heart.. the closeness exist.. :) N anymore pondering on my part will tip the equilibrium from being pleasantly nostalgic to feeling lonesome... So.. stopping here :D
::Running away from delusions::

Yeah... my worse 3 papers r finally over today..
Seems that my skill at blogging haf deteriorated since last time.. haa ya can't express myself.. used to b able to do so by blogging.. back in jOne? haa.. has been a long time yar. need to get back the momentum..

Feel so empty today.. after the chi paper, which sux btw. And can't find someone to talk to.. erm as in ya the rite peeps.. cos its exam period... din want to disturb. Even Whinner is not online today.. which is weird.. guess having a paper?.. Was listening to Shania Twain's Forever and for always... hee.. got this impression she kicks ass ;p country huh... but yes I enjoy her song.

Can c da has been rather stressed up over his papers... din noe how to make it beta other then keeping quiet.. n not to disturb him.
Oh yar saw Fiona today. She was sitting just beside my during the chi paper. Onli noe that when she called my name while waiting to be let off.. couldn't recognise her :P She too... claimed I have lost weight.. but looking at my flabs... erm.. haa gonna need lots of exercise n sunrays this hols..

She was writting chunks of chi for her paper.. then looking at my para.. erm.. ya regrets gal regrets... but its over.. I should be relieved.. Witnesses peeps :: first yr buangz le.. will be working hard after the loong looong hols... actually haf no idea wat to do this hols.. c its this sense of emptiness.. burr.. dun think I'm gettin perm job.. cos need to practise hard for piano.. n time to spend with da n frens.. so maybe a few temp jobbies.. which remind me i need to find Rick to get back my powerbabe. n c wat he's offering me hee..
I need to take time off things.. like wk.. life has reached a trough.. gonna climb out n up... cos things will be better... It just got to be.

Plus... i've been posting many negative thoughts here... bad vibes.. n shall not b selfish haa.. will be sharing more happie times here.. =) Yar.. gonna give my blog a new look soon.. perhaps after exams.. this one can b sickening after all huh..

Talk abt fats.. my gal just msg me for a swim.. yippie... i need the dip.. erm but she will only reach here ard 4.. will b missing most of the sun.. Haa gonna make sure they organize another trip to Sentosa.. this time with me ho ho...
Ooh.. abt my jewellery biz.. haa.. gonna have more designs.. haven been updating here hee.. lazy plus hectic schedule?.. Oki.. excuses maybe.. just not the top priority now... However, got big plans for the future.. if I bother to go ahead in the first place n if things go well for me... haa.. will expand..

Have decided to rest the whole of today.. lousy mood to do much.. n at least now i dun haf to push myself constantly telling myself I need to study for tmr.. n to shove all thoughts somewhere else.. cos my last 2 papers r on tue n fri.. open book n MCQs hee.. got to study more for Genes n Soci though.. tmr.. hiak.. for now.. think I will go fiddle with my jewels :).. if only i haf my own webbie now.. at least start things rolling.

Ha i find this so kawaii i nit to leave it here.. haa <-- exactly how I feel when I have to force myself to study at nites...
::Running away from delusions::

I really love him.. n to think that I've take things for granted till this stage.. I'm resolved to make things wk out this time... if I'm given the chance..
Can't seem to imagine life wo him.
Stupid things I've done.. got a kick in the butt.. that finally shaken me.. I can't go on being who i am now.. just hope i'm not learning that too late now... Love me.. not gonna let u wait any longer... if u will accept...
not a bastard bf... just that u haf been patient.. n i've taken that for granted in the past.. know it is really unfair for u.. but implore u to open up once again to me.. not to add on torments.. but for me to heal you proper.
::Running away from delusions::