In a weird way... I find myself exceptionally pretty today haa.. too bad i din get an excuse to take a pic.. haa.. Crazy.. but wateva.. at least I feel better haa.. Humans are indeed shallow.

Oh.. I uploaded one pic.. moi earrings.. find it under my link : moi photos (incomplete) haa.. and comments please... got it up on yahoo auctions too.. lowered the price cos find prices there rather competitive.. and gues wat.. Zhengchang heard abt moi 'enterprise' and may get a booth during open house... god.. things r speeding up.. but not sure if I want that booth yet.. so... c .c
::Running away from delusions::

Stronger
Sugababes
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'll make it through the rainy days
I'll be the one who stands here longer than the rest
When my landscape changes, re-arranges
I'll be stronger than I've ever been
No more stillness, more sunlight
Everything's gonna be all right

I know that there's gonna be a change
Better find your way out of your fear
If you wanna come with me
Then that's the way it's gotta be

I'm all alone
And finally I'm getting stronger
You'll come to see
Just what I can be
I'm getting stronger

Sometimes I feel so down and out
Like emotion that's been captured in a maze
I had my ups and downs
Trials and tribulations
I overcome it day by day
Feeling good and almost powerful
A new me, that's what I'm looking for

I know that there's gonna be a change
Better find your way out of your fear
If you wanna come with me
Then that's the way it's gotta be

I'm all alone
And finally I'm getting stronger
You'll come to see
Just what I can be
I'm getting stronger

I didn't know what I had to do
I just knew I was alone
People around me but they didn't care
So I searched into my soul
I'm not the type of girl that will let them see her cry
It's not my style
I get by
See I'm gonna do this for me

I'm all alone
And finally I'm getting stronger
You'll come to see
Just what I can be
I'm getting stronger

I'm all alone
And finally I'm getting stronger
You'll come to see
Just what I can be
I'm getting stronger


::Running away from delusions::

... Certain things r better left unexpressed isn't it?.. though I'll trying to do the oppo... dunno.. wasn't that concerned abt things.. keeping myself busy too.. not to be too aware of things.. perhaps subconsciously theres something wrong?... just that when the thought surfaced.. raving emotions took over..

Ok enough of my navel-grazing..done too much of that in my previous entries too...tsk..A happy moment today for a change..: I made my first pair of earrings.. hee own design wo.. (ya.. was so happy then... thinking of sharing my happiness then.. wat exactly happened..)

Anyway,.. was planning to start selling my own designs.. starting out fr earrings..can b customized too :) so peeps.. if u r thinking of gettin a pair of unique earrings or as a gift for frens... do consider placing your order with me hee.. its time to show your support haa.. will post the pics soon... thinking of starting my own website when I collect enuff designs.. erm.. n learn more abt setting up one. Meanwhile.. will need to rely on you guys and perhaps online auctions.. n i need to find cost-minimizing ways for my productions...

Gotta Zz for now.. eyes r much strained today.. partly due to staring at the computer in AS7 so much today..
::Running away from delusions::

" Just when the caterpillar thought the world is over, it turned into a butterfly."
Beautiful isn't it.
Though there may be some who thinks I'm strong and independent; realised I'm not up to their expectations.
::Running away from delusions::

"Distance may be a beauty; but there may be danger lurking there."

Just read Ivy's blog.. hee.. finally get to c her today in sch... haa.. was about to leave school... she too.. for orchard haa.. wah.. enjoy life.. she still looks as great..!! N haa... gal u got to show me ur new DKNY watch soon yar?.. haa.. din noe Harold can be that romantic and generous ;p Oh yar.. can help me enquire where he got that love cactus from?? need to get one.. and looking for unique ones lolz..
::Running away from delusions::

Thanks Jel. read your msgs...
Well tried breaking out of my sadness 2 days back.. think partly due to pthers.. partly due to myself.. so trying to psycho myself haa... better now.. Cough gettin better too... except for the bout of coughs in the mornings.. hell..
Headache for the whole of yesterday and now its shadow is still lurking somewhere... argh.. just can't seem to pick up my books for the mid-term tests.. and they r starting on monday... keep searching for food.. stress ar.

::Running away from delusions::

Heres something I came across in my email box sometime back..

Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?

Answer: Princess Diana's death.

Question: How come?

Answer: An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend
crashes in a French tunnel, driving a German car
with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian
who was drunk on Scottish whisky, (check the bottle before you change the spelling)
followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles;
treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines.

This is sent to you by a Singaporean using Bill Gates's technology,
and you're probably reading this on your computer,
that use Taiwanese chips, and a Korean monitor,
assembled by Bangladeshi workers
in a Singapore plant,
transported by Indian lorry-drivers, hijacked by Indonesians,
unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen,
and trucked to you by Mexican illegals.....

That, my friends, is Globalization.


::Running away from delusions::

Just read a msg left by Jel.. haa.. weird how things can be expressed much more approriate by him... thanks alot.. will always treasure u :)
part of it :
"Ahh, I think that sadness is a thing that can plague one for a long time if u cant find the right way to chase it away. To me, it can even last for days or weeks. Perhaps it then has already developed into a form of depression..."

So i got to find the rite way to chase it away... how do u do that Jel?.. do enlighten me yar? I think... I just can't hold everything together le.
::Running away from delusions::

Oversensitive... oversensitive am I? haa.. oh hell yeah I am..~
I'm not pissed.. I'm hurt.

"Expectation is the root to all heartache." haa that's the quote of the day for today along NE line.. saw that on way back.. how appro. Things changed. pple changed. How I wish someone could just take me over completely. Apparently I haven met him.. or no such luck.. hey.. it could be a her for all I noe ha.. But I need to get rid of the dull pain soon... its intolerable
::Running away from delusions::

I've Sinned... Ya... cos I consumed Chocolates today. Was feeling rather upset abt myself.. so when I reach Watson's... em.. hit a few tibits and ya.. chocs r on my list.. but din exactly have a binge. Felt guilty after the chocs though.. cos I'm not suppose to haf them... tsk.
Anyway.. piano switched to tmr morning.. so gonna haf to practise after 10 plus later.. haiz.

Oh ya.. V dae. Was told to take a cab down to Da's place first.. he paid for the ride though. Got a bouquet of 6 red roses and complimentary flowers.. no surprise there yet. Then I guessed the type of pressie n location rite.. yeah. Shit.. forgot to take a pic of moi pressie to him. nvm. Erm.. watched a bit of TV while he dozed off.. think he woke up rather early that day. Haa.. he made dinner.. spagetti with mushroom cream sause.. thot its alrie.. but dun think he was pleased cos he's a perfectionist yar? Em.. think the best surprise was after dinner... when I was told to close my eyes and he brought out a heart-shaped cake fr Breaktalk... its so pretty!!! and tasty hee yummie.. esp the white choc on top of it.. n strawberry mousse below.. gosh its fantastic... too bad i took the roses off b4 taking a pic of it.. haa it has the rose hip buds and marigold... exactly like the teas I bought. Hee... just that its red roses instead of pink ;p

Em.. jsut had a conversation with a senior...
...says:
u gotta find someone to speak to.. n mayb tat can help a bit...
*haze (changed due to complaint) says:
haiz.. n sometimes think we can't really have much conversation..
...says:
oic...
...says:
but anyway how long was it tat u got to noe him b4 being together?
...says:
was juz thinking mayb tat could be one reason....
... says:
but then snice u already in this relationship, juz see if theres any way to improve it
...says:
look at the gd tings, and see less of the bad ones...?
*haze (changed due to complaint) says:
wait... y u asked abt how long i noe him??
...says:
coz i rem u asying u noe him very long rite?
...says:
but then yet, not too close.. if i dun rem wrongly...
*haze (changed due to complaint) says:
ya true..
... says:
hmmm. i juz guessing
...says:
coz i do hv many frenz who oni later found out that tehy are not compatible
...says:
reason ONLY being: they din hv chance to noe each otehr better b4 teh relationship
...says:
or unless either one change the attitude lor
*haze (changed due to complaint) says:
haa ya.. noe of these cases..
...says:
hmmm. but for urself, u noe best lah
... says:
juz dun attempt to lie to urself to make tings seem better than it is
*haze (changed due to complaint) says:
*nod* orh.. hee
...says:
haha.. dun juz nod oh... must instill it into ur head
*haze (changed due to complaint) says:
*drill* drilll*drillllllll*.. in le..
...says:
yeah!!!
*haze (changed due to complaint) says:
wait... drill in wat ar...
...says:
aiyo.....
*faints*
... says:
drill in watever u tink u shd
*haze (changed due to complaint) says:
huh..
...says:
haha. nvm nvm lah
...says:
juz do take care of urself
...says:
and at no time, tink of doing anyting stupid
*haze (changed due to complaint) says:
orh.... wun die becos of man..
*haze (changed due to complaint) says:
u guys r not worth it hiak hiakl
...says:
haha!!! wow!!! wat an OVERstatement
...says:
thx leh... i hv gain extra confidence

Hee... ya the talk abt guys.. ha.
Ok gtg.. else wil be late le..

::Running away from delusions::

It Valentine Day today!!… haa Happy Valentine’s peeps!!~ HAA.. oh well I’m still in school now.. Cos just finish my Hotline session… moi first session was done with a Yr 3 senior, Yueming.. haa turns out that she’s suppose to be my mentor for both my 2 sessions last yr.. Which Chee Shing changed with me… So she’s the gal he’s interested then… hee hee. Oh well.. will be heading home soon.. cos Da mentioned activities for today will start only at ard 4pm.
Well… yday overslept and was late for my IT lecture… along with Mar cos he’s waiting for me downstairs.. and I woke up only at 11.15… tsktsk.. so in the end we decided to just go for lunch… since we’re an hr late by the time I got ready.. :p When Far east sq Ling Zhi for the mushroom pot buffet… haa.. mar gets to detox every time he dines with me ho ho… well.. its gd to go without meat anyway.. haa.. n he as a catholic shouldn’t be eating red meat anyway.. ok so after lunch I found this wonderful stall… which I have never taken much notice of though it has always been there.. found something nice for Da.

Made our way to Pagoda to collect my Colgate stuff.. gosh… I asked 3 pple before the last one gave me the RIGHT direction to that street… Oh well… we went back to Far East Sq that nite to collect out stuff.. and since we have not had dinner.. Mar suggest we dine again… this time a surprise for me(since we took quite sometime to think of a place)… to somewhere which is always there but most pple wun’t go.. N boy am I smart,.. I guessed Sentosa and I am right.. hee… Reached there ard 9 plus… and dined at a Mexican restaurant, Riverboat.. a place that I’ve not known… hm… real nice atmosphere… next drove ard to a chalet area.. where there is this particular house on top of the hill, vacant.. and secluded… its rather eerie..and Mar din want to drive ard it but just pass… cos he has been in there with a big bunch of pple for their camp last time and he just dun feel gd abt the place…. I was rather attracted to it though.. hmm… perhaps gather my adventurous kakis another time?? Hee.. the last stop.. at Palawan beach.. parked the Opel.. walked n climbed up the tower on the manmade island aross.. one side a nice view of the Palawan beach… the other.. tiny lights across the sea at the other end.. the oil refineries?.. everything was fine... except the company haa.. it could haf been a romantic evening I guess...haa I took a couple of pictures.. but they will be uploaded to moi fotopages only when I’m free… haa.. I’m still stuck at the CNY pictures… haven even finish uploading them.. okok times up hee.. free to head home le….
::Running away from delusions::

yup happie... despite the cough.. flu etc... yuckies... ya... still sick.. burr.. so those who wonder how much sexier my voice has gotten.. .. gimme a buzz hee.. cancelled my piano lesson this morning.. sick la.. so went back to ZZzz.. n went sch for lect and meeting which lasted fr 6-8 phew.. then still head for PS to get the packaging materials.... Da and grace happen to be there at the food court so met them and had dinner later.. hee salad and sushi hee.. oh wait... wat has perk my day is not just the joy fr getting the stuff for Da.. but I've discovered a nice place to chill... just to look out. It at the bridge connecting engine and centre forum.. Realised how nice it was esp when Da was beside me.. Was listening to Da's mp3... always that nice.. esp the song fr Di Xia Tie... prefer the foreign lang version though.. the original one.. but this is nice too.. looking out at the blue sky with buildings far out touching the clouds.. seemingly of cos.. and at the foreground a huge tree with a crown of shimmering green crystals... sparkling under the sun... ya.. its time to give a sigh at this pt of time... ... Anyway.. think I breathed too hard after some time and woke Da up hee... well... there is this pt of time whereby i can imagine the whole scenerio being out from a movie... so sweet huh... hee. Sometimes its best not to do anything but to appreciate surroundings.. including those with us... get it? no? nvm... haa. Erm.. think I'll need to make another trip down to PS... one of the objects i bought today is a size too big.. actually it'll b fine.. but will b better if smaller.. haa.. so think to make things more perfect... I shall get it..
::Running away from delusions::

Yoz... haa.. blogging now for the sake of Jel hee.. Oh well.. I did have flu after all..went sch early to do last min studing for my chi quiz.. ahaa din get to memorize so think I'll flop.. feel bad today.. but better now...good thing I brought my shawl to sch today.. cold.. oh.. Mar commented that i looked pale this morning.. so he msg me again at 12 to make sure I've not faint.. bur..

A sudden thot.. wonder if jas has gone back for studies.. cos suppose to haf a gathering so I can c c her too hee.. miss her bubbly presence...

ok.. for my first chi language tutorial which is 2 hrs.. its fun... but realised almost 50% or more of the 30 odd in class is fr China.. flip.. shit.. n one of them is so kiasu that after the lesson, she went up to the tutor and asked if she can remember each of them... those who did voice up in class.. cos I suppose u r graded base on class performance too.. n the tutor had to reassure her that ya.. she will remember... still she pushed her pt.. burr.. iritating character.. and another fr China was so cocky saying back home or even at anywhere no one test like the quizgiven today.. saying wats the pt etc.... gd thing the tutor knows how to handle that qns and her... thot she noes everything... haa the tutor looked kinda irritated too then hee.. oh well ... much to learn.. hectic day today. 10-4 lessons without break.. but still managed to haf lunch.. then nite my religion class.. got back at 11.. burr..

Felt an overwhelming sense of sadness earlier on after 4.. dun exactly noe y.. but then again.. seems to haf a vague idea of y.. was tearing even while trying to read my chinese text at the cultural center... sickening.. i mean.. since when I'm this weak.. neway.. thanks for cheering me up ;> but still experienced pangz of it .. esp when thoughts came into my mind.. one gd thing out of all these... I can finally respond better to feeling touched.. haa weird huh.. I wonder myself..
::Running away from delusions::

Went for a wkshop held by a Malaysian Trainer for the Colgate Total.. will be promoting that.. haa.. wah.. lots of info..and seems like Colgate is that gd..and ya went to the Indian charity restuarant again with Mar// my treat though :P

Headache now.. cos only slept for 2-3 hrs?.. though I slept after piano fr 1 plus to 5 plus.. bloody long period for a nap...was at devil's again... have been going there rather frequently ... perhaps too frequent.. anyway... falling sick.. felt real bad yday and today.. flu coming.. sorethroat.. haa erm but at least dun think I have fever like Grace.. Oh y.. so paiseh.. fell at Devil's yday too hee.. got a few cuts.. but one area was rather bad though it doesn't look so.. think the bone is bruised... swollen. and thought I saw flesh after a layer of skin.. burr.. creeps.

hai.. sad . been sad these days.. or rather it seems like the horrible parts are more that the happy days..one mistake in not being subtle caused much unhappiness and such a spoiler I am.. Unhappiness of all sorts of form is always bad.. for relationships btw pple.. for health.. for the cells..
::Running away from delusions::

A LAUGH FOR ALL
>
> For All the Men Who Say, "Why buy the cow when you
> can get the milk for
> free?"
> Here's an update for you.
> Now a days 80% of women are against marriage.
> Why?
> Because women realize it's not worth buying an
> entire pig just to
> get a little sausage.


::Running away from delusions::

haa just finished dinner.. mum cooked a special coconut milk rice today... haa.. she watched the Hollage Village and in it Mo Wan Wan pour in cream soda to her rice to produce a unique fragrant coconut milk rice for her Nasi Lemak.. So mum wanted to try too today haa.. She's really cute today hee.. oh well.. it tasted not bad.. but I will not noe if theres any difference hee..

Oh did a bit of shopping today... fr science canteen to tampines.. dar has no time today.. oh well coincidental.. that Martin wanted to look for something at the bazaar too.. We went ard and I bought a nice red based bag.. haa.. will upload it to fotopages soon.. kinda busy recently.. It cost $22.90.. actually wanted another cream based one.. too bad its not the design I prefer.. We met Gabriel later on at co-op and fool ard there haa.
Martin gave me a lift to tamp in order to meet Hong Xi for the vcds I borrowed fr pearlyn.. and to call that his dad's company van doesn't justify it.. haa actually wanted to visit prisc who is working at Gordana.. too bad she's wking half day.. still got to get 30% off the clothes there though.. so got a cream racer back top and a grey lose kaki material pants.. nice nice.. total up to less than $30.. got to wait for an hr since I need alteration for the pants.. Mar and I had dinner 1st.. Reached home ard 8 plus... tired.. haiz. Was feeling slightly better though.. haa.. my shopping therapy... It hasn't been a gd day.
::Running away from delusions::