How is it possible for a general rship to be authentic where one is impassive w fences of emotional walls yet to be pulled down?

I dont agree n nv will to putting only a portion of my heart to loving some1. I'd rather not love to love half-heartedly. I understand e principle of sowing n reaping; to whatever I sow, I'll reap. may not necessarily be e present but e latter harvest? I'm not gonna look back someday n sigh, "... mr xx is such a nice guy, I should have love n cherish him more!" not in my encyclopedia.

I say,

"e ne plus ultra of love is to respect e decision of that 1 person u loved unconditionally, even at e cost of being shortchanged."

bcos I love, so I let go. I love, so I refused to hurt. its no nobility, but love.

im simple. i dont need to better n further describe myself. emo.. emo...

Terribly burnt, not in e state to meet any1 this 2 weeks. if it doesnt get any better but worse, i might not want to go back to sch on mon! my self esteems no longer in e healthy zone, its decreasing as e day goes by. e uneven tan, e cracks all over e face n e diff pigmentations make me look like some1 who has chronic skin diseases.

i still dont think that e trips too long, prob i really needed a break from all e things ive been into - work, exams etc. e snorkeling experience, strolling by e beach when e tides low, picking up shells along e way, walking through e trail to e rockfall, admiring e serene landsape n e undisturbed nature cum sea creatures, e night sitting at e jetty listening to e guys singing out loud, e lights off blind mice in my room.. pure relaxation n simplicity is e word. due to some limitations, we did nothing much over there but overall it was a relaxing, thrilling, fun experience for me. i would say its awesome.

certain things in life u cant get away but to face up to e reality, n it could be quite hard to take. at e ktv session, 8 out of 10 songs brought back bitter n heart wrenching memories. tears streamed down naturally for an emotional being, me, as i watched e mv n pay attention to e lyrics. its excruciating when it gets back to me time to time :( im better n am going on strong aft months of tears n heartaches, sleepless nights n mild depression. unforgettable n irreplaceable him :(( nvm.

prayfully to look pretty again in no time! n meanwhile, its nose-poking time (to my book) again while i prepare for my next exams in a few weeks time. below r e collages of my tioman trip. till i blog again, take care :) - click to enlarge image

day 1 - on e coach on our way to e custom

coach -> short break for bfast -> jetty -> ferry to tioman

tioman island

night 1 - played lights off blind-mice in my room too! :))

intellectual challenging games that requires observations n trials & errors

day 2 - snorkeling n swimming at e pool

spend no more time sleeping -> bfast! -> snorkeling

night 2 - paya beach bar n sing-a-loud at e jetty

us

day 3 - scout around e island

love e chilling water at e rock fall. btw, we saw mini prawns (not shrimps) too!

went to pick seashells n fed e fishes at e jetty

night 3 - feasting, abit of lazing n ktv

love to hear ziguo n weekwan sing! :)

day 4 - bfast, check-out, did abit of shopping n fish-feeding again

e guys always looking as if they were shooting mvs