Life hasnt been e same since ive been transferred out to a new company a month ago for my internship - its a heaven n hell difference between e 2 companies.

ETI (former company)

• air-conditioned office is as good as NO aircon; adding unto it, u dont even get to have e fan at times due to limited power plug
  
• NO blinds / curtains to keep e afternoon sun away - i'd gone blind if i stay there longer
  
• allow us to on e radio at a volume only dogs / bats can hear it
• make noise when we come back 5-10mins late from lunch
• expected to reach workplace early n not to leave on e dot
• e boss doesnt talk but shouts n yells 99% of e time
  
• particularly for me; when i talk to n laugh w e rest, he complains that im not serious. when i keep quiet, he said im solemn n dont communicate w e rest. talk? talk not?
  
• he yeks n criticizes almost all e time whether works done up to or not up to his standard
  
• works expected to be completed at e minimal time using a intel celeron lappy
  

*above r not exaggerated.

ABMC (my current company)

• colleagues laugh n joke w me
  
• always have lunch together
  
• e ppl here cut fruits for me, give me muffins for tea
  
• e boss gives me choc, muffins, bring distilled water from his house for me, ask me play games when ive got nothing to do
  
• ask me to blast e radio
  
• e best thing is there r blinds n e a.i.r.c.o.n.d.i.t.i.o.n.e.d room :)

supposed to go e doc today but i woke up only at around 1600 today. dont be too quick to "wow!" cos i slept only 12hours, which i consider minimal? was listening to pst kongs sermon ytd n he talks abt over-eating, over-spending etc. i wonder if 12hours consider over-sleeping? :S

back to my fingers, my sis said thank God its e left n not e right fingers that ive hurt. told them it doesnt make a difference to me cos i could use both my left n right hand to eat n write :) so if i were to lose my right hand, i could still use my left hand. n if i were to lose both, thank God i still have my feet! haha. i'd better start train using them :p

as i grow, ive been thinking if this is all i want? - friends.

yes..

.. i love...

.. all e moments....

.. i spent.....

.. w all......

.. my friends........

but they're not my all. yes, friends r impt but they're not all that i want. w tears streaming down as i pray earlier, i find myself telling God something i'd nv tell Him before..

"i love my dad.. i love my mom..

.. i love irene.. i love rose...

.. i love rina.. i love serene..."

sure they've hurt n disappoint me, but havent i too? e more i confess, e more i will find myself loving them. i want to position myself to love them more :)

i still love even as its broken - cos they're my all..

Its not deleted, its always here; just hidden. due to popular demand n revived fire, im blogging again. cheers! alices typing handicap-ly now, u'll know y later.

*my most loved sis, roses back from stuttgart last evening!! went to fetch her from e airport, had dinner w mom n sisS then dessert w dad :) she shares her stuttgart trip n i share my beijing trip, nice~ oh.. i love her *hearts*

ever since e beijing trip, alice hasnt been v nice w her words. shes unimaginably crude n vulgar w her words at times. vocab includes f*ck, a*shole etc. (God change me!) i came back thinking every1 changes only to realize nothing changes but me.

deliverance. squid said im superrrrr violent n strong. it took many (5*its time to do something if all u have there r flabby fats! :p

back to deliverance, to what im taught - 1 is half conscious during deliverance. n i must say e most challenging part for e 1 who wants to be delivered is - 1) to stay conscious n focus to want to get e spirit(s) out, 2) to cooperate w e person praying for 1 n at e same time 3) acting out your faith - coughing, 4) take control over your mind. its indeed a struggle, or a better word, 'battle / wrestle' between e spirit n e flesh. its not my intention to want to bite, kick, smack, pull whoevers hair, pinch, scratch any1. sorry n thank u all! :p i dont take e chance to believe any1 who come telling me, 'i understand'. its e fact that u dont, unless u went through it.

3-4 times i literally f-l-e-w under e power of God n landed on e back of my head, i mean it - my h.e.a.d! look at it optimistically, i din concuss! this has resulted later in retardation? haha. im reacting slower than usual n am much blurrier than before - i'll give a classic eg later. im not taking this lightly, im going to e doc later in e morning.

i love e psalms of david - been meditating upon Ps 51 esp on verse 7-8, "You alone ive sin against.. let me hear e sound of joy n gladness; let e bones You crushed be happy again." simple as it may be but i like what pst mike said, "Jesus delivered n He still delivers". He has come to set e captives free, n gives life n life more abundantly. i got e stolen joy back. i got e holy joy, e holy laughter. im exhilarated, exuberantly n triumphantly joyful :))

if i were to list out just 1 difference from my blog to others, i would say mine is r.e.a.l / n.o.n-f.i.c.t.i.o.n.a.l / a.u.t.h.e.n.t.i.c - cos i take u through my head, my most inner thoughts n u get to read e real stuffs! :p no pretension, nothing to hide :) part of e reasons y im delivered was bcos i constantly run these thoughts on my mind during deliverance..

• "He who is in me is greater than he whos in e world" - myself
  
• "u're half conscious, its all abt controlling your mind" - yuexin
  
• "your mind tells your body what to do n not e other way round" - Sun
  
• "u must want to have it, have faith, cooperate n cough it out" - yuexin, daddy, pst mike
  
• "do my part, do what im able n God will do what im not able" - myself
  
• "sound mind. power. take control" - myself

picture tells a thousand words, so y type so much? to think again, im not v 'able' now. next up, its not for any1 below e age of 21 to view e 'RA' pictures below (Really 'Amazing')

e classic aftermath of deliverance for a 'violent-cum-strong' person, like me(?)

scratch from frictional force

swollen left ankle

blue-black..

closed-up

.. n blue-blacks...

.. more blue-blacks...

.. more....

n some more! 3 more bruises on my head, 1 big patch on my right lower hip, n left hip which i accidentally bumped unto e edge of my stairs railing e other day.

result of vanity (left foot too!) :(

*classic eg of retardation n results of it,

scenario:

1. got out of car
2. close e door w my fingers at e edge of door
3. feel e pain -> open e door 2 sec later -> take fingers out
4. this time, slammed e door even harder w my fingers still at e edge of e door!
5. i DID NOT open e door immediately to loose my fingers, which i dont know y. n seriously, i told myself, "i think my fingers still there!" (its either, 1) i thought its already out OR 2) i cant help but to 'ouch' 1st then open e door n take my fingers out 2nd. either is ridiculous)
   
6. open e door n continue 'ouch-ing'
7. told my sis i 'kiap-ed' my fingers
8. i realized im bleeding n bloods on e car n my jeans only when my sis told me -

sis, "eh.... u dont feel e pain?????"

i, "uh.. quite painful actually" - i still have my cool!

e "victims", e swollen 1s

notice e color difference

yes, its a vvv deep cut

thought that cross my mind when sis say im 'sway', "sway? seems more like 'them' attacking me physically now aft wounding me spiritually n emotionally. go back to your hell a*shole, its where u belong". -> supporting evidence to 'alice-has-changed'. i know u'r glad for my authentication, n proud of me living up to my name? alice = e truthful 1 -> Amen :)

hey.. thats all folks, im turning in. till then, take care n blur not! :p