TGIF.

another week has past. and if I didnt keep track wrongly, t2w5? yea, really too tired to keep track of anything, even time.

the week's been terrible. I mean, which week has been kind to me? so much for no tests this week other than GP. spent my whole week tearing my hair out over PI WC2. thank god Mr Chew was damn nice and encouraging when I showed him my draft for WC2 on thursday. 

and this week's been really heavy on exercising, so much that I think I might've aggravated the old injury on my left knee. *prays hard nothing will happen* not only that, different part of both my feet are feeling extreme strains. guess counterpain's the way to go until season ends.

sigh, I've been really busy with so many stuffs to even be angry or frustrated with anything. but sometimes I get too overwhelmed with work, that when other factors start coming into place, I just wanna collapse. 

sucks to know how I cant even get any support from you, despite what I've been doing, bearing with your unreasonable moments. really have no idea what more you want from me, what am I not doing well enough and what I can do to really please you. it's been a long while since I received any praises from you, and frankly, I'm really in need of your approval when I do things. when I wanna try some stuffs out, or when I wanna do something I'm really passionate about, I always think twice because I will picture the look of disapproval and mockery that you'd give me. and when I really do try to raise them with you, I get that exact same look from you that I predicted. any idea how deeply it pierces me? somehow I feel that things are so different now, you've changed so much I'm almost unable to recognise you. and sometimes I feel, that I'll never be good enough for you. so why do I even try?

it's just 1.5years left here in DHS. somehow feeling very 舍不得 because of all the memories, regardless happy or sad, that I've had here. it's really time to start treasuring every moment that I have because I dont wanna end up regretting in time to come. but really, what do I appreciate when it's so stressful everyday, and everyday I wake up with the desire to pon school? words cannot explain how tired I am because I'm even taking a shut-eye as I type this, typing with my eyes closed ._.

thankgod there isnt piano lesson tomorrow, so I get slightly more sleep. but then again, there's Danzage tomorrow, so technically my afternoon and night is gone. glad that I already have study date on Sunday ;) it's these lil things in life that make everything so pleasant :) even tho my studying time is gonna be robbed, I'm gonna enjoy Danzage because it's a once in 2 years thing! O: 

on a sidenote: jiayou to my 38 lovelies, Alyssa, Katherine and Whai Theng! :) 

I swear I'm totally ready for June hols. like yes now. but I'm only halfway thru the term. and it's not like last year where w9 is level camp and w10 is electives. it's like this schedule thru the next half of the term. not to mention stuffs like:

W6: Math Test - Functions and GT2

W7: GP Compre Test and PI final submission

W8: Chem Test - Chem Bonding, Gaseous State and Chem Equilibrium

W9: Physics Test - WEP, Circular Motion, GField

W10: GP Common Test.

OKAY. I AM SO READY. not. 

shouldnt have listed them out, now I feel even worse. really hoping math will be fine next week, need to quit making ten thousand careless mistakes grr. the feeling seriously sucks because it's not as if I dont know how to go bout with those sums.

recently gotten chem and physics back and those disappointed me like shitz. think I failed too many tests in junior high to feel anything now. it's like I'm already numb to all this shit. but then again, what's gonna push me back up? really hate that feeling when I mugged my ass out for one and the results totally dont even show it. and not like it's the first time. sighmuch.

alright 15mins break time is up. time to get back to my PI and try to finish it by tnight :)

lastly, I predict I wont be able to blog before tuesday. so. 

加油dhsbball agirls <3 我们一定要赢！ 

你根本没有资格取代我。

jiayoujiayou, dont stress yourself out please :) 

thanks for everything <3
just so you know, i miss you terribly :/

was supposed to be drowning in PI. and sleeping early because there's training at 8 tomorrow. but decided i needed to come here and get some stuffs outta my mind.
PLUS. PI's so bloody discouraging. dont even wanna look at it. here's what Mr Chew said: "Alternatively, you could come up with a whole other project."
IS HE SERIOUS. wtf.


but anyway the above explains why i'm here now, and not at my pw document. 
so hmm. my week went. let's say it went rather okay. despite all the rubbish here and there.
cant really remember much of monday, other than the fact my cramps were hurting so much i was a bitch the whole day. sorry to anyone who i annoyed.


sidetrack: just ranted to pig bout my PI and he said something which woke me up totally. 
"so easy give up alr meh."
you just motivated me to make sure i dont give up and make this a job well done :) thanks <3


tuesday's match was not exactly good, but good enough for us to claim our first win :) aboys won too! grats adiv ^^ enjoying much of adiv despite all the tiring runs and late trainings. and the quarrels i have so often w my folks. everything is worth it for bball :D


lalala then the rest of the week was just spent in that mundane way. i mean, whats new? lessons mug bball eat sleep, lessons mug bball eat sleep and the routine continues. but i'm damn glad there are people like 38 clique and team and pig who's constantly making me smile, brightening up my days :)


alright, needa rethink my PI. cant progress now. thus. i shall go to bed :D 
toodles ^^