the endless late nights.
the constant rushing home to meet raid timings.
the 'er no i gtg rush home' excuses
the neglection of my friends.
the missing of family lunches/dinners.
the lost of several friendships.
endless enjoyment over thumping keyboard keys.
thought i cld actually balance play n wow. but i was wrong. There are three problems that arise from WoW: the time it requires to do anything "important" is astounding, it gives people a false sense of accomplishment n ppl dun realise its juz a game, they wrap themselves up in a false sense of mixed emotions, no matter how much you care or want people to care, it always end up the other way.
The game also provides people with a false sense of security, accomplishment, and purpose. Anyone can be a superhero here if they have the time to put in. Not only that, a few times I've seen this breed the "rockstar" personality in people who have no confidence at all in real life. Don't get me wrong, building confidence is a good thing and something, if honed appropriately, the game can do very right. But in more than a few cases, very immature people with bad attitudes are catered to (even after insulting or degrading others "in public") because they are "better" than the rest. Usually this means they played a lot more and have better gear. I'd really hate to see how this "I'm better than you attitude" plays out in real life where it means jack how epic your loot is - when you say the wrong thing to the wrong person it's going to have repercussions and you can't just log out to avoid the effects of your actions.
And people put everything on the line for these accomplishments with which they associate much value. I know of children and spouses being forced to play and grind for their parents, threats of divorce, rampant neglect, failing grades in school, and thousands of dollars spent on "outsourcing" foreign help. For what, you ask? Honor. The desire to be the best for at least one week. To get the best loot in the game. What do these "heroes" receive? Why, cheers and accolades of course as they parade along in their new shiny gear... which is obsolete the first time they step into one of the premier instances. The accomplishment and sacrifice itself are meaningless a few days later. Then it's usually off to the races again. fuck me honestly.
The thing that kicked me in the ass more than anything else was I really cared if my guildies were getting what they wanted out of the experience. I truly thought my efforts would make them happy. I spent hours trying to re-create friendships that i was missing out in RL. hours trying to complete an instance in the hope of gettin to know my online friends better. I wanted to make a difference to them. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks: I was trying to make up to wad i really lost in RL. i dun even know where to start to regain my foothold in my life.
I ran into one of my "real" friends and I'd hear "Hey, what's up, I haven't seen you in a while." I looked in the mirror and in a cinemaesque turn of events and a biblical moment of clarity, told myself "I haven't seen me in a while either." iz true. All the while, i was hiding this facade - moussie.
That did it. I wanted to do the things I wanted to do again and be with the people who appreciated me even if I abandoned them for a year as a friend. One of my friends said "your real friends like you even when you screw up." It's true. In the end, it got boring as I saw what getting really involved gets you...strong relationships with dysfunctional and stupid kids.Looking back, wow did some things right. I made several invaluable friends from it. Though ive never met them, they are as sincere as it can be. I came away from my little world, thinking i learned something, as much as you dont want to hurt in RL, WoW doesn't hurt. Ive used wow to get away from life's complication, it was wrong, and I really wished i spent more time with my RL friends now. Online friends are great, but RL friends > online people.
goodbye moussie, rest in peace.
