When the going gets tough, the tough get going. Achieving the path to humility is tough, but you must persevere. Remember, it may be difficult, but it is the right thing to do. 


Keep watching this space. I'm figuring out what I should do next! :-)

How does one erase a thought? Experience tells me that as much as thoughts get pushed into our heads, they sometimes do get pushed out. And more often than not, all of this happens subconsciously.

There are some thoughts I wish I could bury somewhere -- somewhere deep down the rabbit hole. I try to forget them. I try to imagine random ideas, figures, and numbers. French macarons, Cayley tables, jazz motifs, running, Foyle's, Tang Dynasty poems, 2.718281828. Yes, spontaneous thoughts; fleeting distractions.

Such "thought-scrambling," I wonder, does it help? Does it have side-effects, especially on my ability to remember other thoughts that I deem important?

I need to figure a way to wall myself from undesirable visions and emotional distractions, and to wall my brain to prevent precious information and beautiful knowledge from seeping through.       

She is an interesting character.

She seems to hide secrets. That is fine, though; there are plentiful such people around me and I am used to the discomfort. Perhaps she does not trust me, but that is alright again; for I, being an ordinary human being, do not deserve her special trust.

But, I wonder, should I therefore hold onto it, with such contradictory accounts and affairs (to me, at least)?

Again, I'm off to work on more interesting problems! :-)

Labels: thoughts

Suddenly, I think I do not quite understand her.

She used to be bubbly and attractive. Her awkward gestures were not awkward but beautiful. Her shy smiles were not shy but alluring. Her caring personality was so dear I felt that no one could match her (other than mum, of course).

But it appears she has changed. She does not want to "make mistakes by saying all those stupid things." She has "nothing much to say these days." According to her, "People will change."

On the other hand, I observe that she does not say "Hi" or "Hello" like she used to, in conversations. Personal emotions aside, I -- in my humble opinion -- think that a sense of politeness is missing. Is it not a polite gesture to greet a person when you speak with/to him or her?

She also sleeps very late. Perhaps she has always been sleeping late; I do not quite remember. However, when I tell her to sleep early because I think it might be better for her, she refutes by suggesting that she has a different Circadian rhythm. Regarding this matter, I always wish to ask her, "Then how do you cope with school life, waking up early and, by logical inference -- assuming she needs at least seven hours of sleep -- sleeping early?" If she is able to alter her Circadian rhythm such that she sleeps and wakes up later, surely she could do the opposite(?) My hypothesis is that she just refuses to practise self-restraint and sleep early. But, alas, what can I do if my constant suggestion/reminder (i.e., words of concern) falls on deaf ears?

Of course, I stand to be corrected, and am happy to listen to arguments for sleeping late.

And so, she leaves me in confusion. Poco a poco, I seem to feel less for her. Yet, why am I still so concerned?

It seems I have my own questions -- questions to which I seek clear answers.

Till then, I shall just indulge in some intellectually stimulating affairs! :-)

Labels: thoughts

Today was so epic.

I took SAT II at AJC in the morning and met a few friends, e.g., Bryan, Zeyu, Chops, etc.

In the afternoon, I played soccer with my brother and his friends, and I ended up injuring myself after attempting to do pull-ups. Apparently, this was what happened:

1. I observed the goalkeeper from the other team doing pull-ups - using the goal post.
2. I decided to give it a shot too.
3. I grabbed and tugged. *Bam* - the goal post fell onto me (specifically my knees)
4. I asked the guy how heavy he was and he told me that he was 61 kg.
5. Now I am painfully injured and resting my legs on a chair.

I conclude this post with a lesson: Never ever attempt to do pull-ups on a goal post again, especially if you weigh 70 kg.

Labels: random

Now I know what life means.

Labels: Reflections