painful thing to do,
but it will soon be over.
i will think...
23 April, 2011
17 April, 2011
Sunday.
The best gift in life are those people that are around you.
You don't choose the people you meet, but you can choose
the way you get along with them.
Through the journey in university, Miss S has been a very
good friend, we cried, we laughed, we talked, we shoot
each other. We had happy and unhappy times together.
All these might not be long, but i will really miss her
when she transfer.
i am blessed with the people i met.
10 November, 2010
disastrous.
Finally, i decided to have a day just for myself, without doing homework and worrying about my school stuffs.
Although i know that things don't always goes the way you want in life, and i always tried my very best to accept whats coming for me. But at this moment i think i just got to surrender myself and raise the white flag high. i believed i had tried and gave my best shot, but whats not for you will never be for you. i used to believe that if i tried and work very hard, i can survive. But after the start of school term, i just realize that i am so out of place. The way how the course is structured makes me think that i just barely smoke through my whole 3 years course in poly. i am glad i have many friends around, lending me their helping hands. i am really grateful, but i just cant open up my brain and ask it to accept that piece of information. being in the U is not easy, i know i have to be optimistic as i am always told to. There are just sometimes that you cant help but to think the bad way. Sometime i just feel like giving up right at this moment, and i think i really need someone to be there for me. i started feeling very emotional every single day, from the moment my eyes are wide open, to the moment i went to bed. i wake up feeling paranoid of what is coming for me in the future of this course. i know i shouldnt be worried about the future when i havent even pass one semester yet. But seeing the way i adapt and how i cope with each and every module, i just felt helpless about. i put in tons of effort in learning and trying to get the facts right, but the situation now is that whenever i saw the questions, no matter how much i felt i understood the content of the lecture notes, i just cant seems to answer them. i realized that as day pass by, i became more and more emotional, i started to lose control of my emotions. i used to be more strong and independent, but after this semester, i realized that i am not, and right at this moment i just think that for once, i wanted to do something and make a decision that can make myself happy. one of my uni friend told me that, what ever it is, just make a decision that makes you happy. when i give a thought over what he said, i realized that this sentence is very true. i am not happy nor do i enjoy what i am doing now. even if i stayed on in this course, i am just merely forcing myself to get through and done with it. when i ask him why is he in this course? he told me that it was his interest. then what about me? i asked myself why on earth am i doing in this course. i know i have friends to ask for help, but i actually dont really feel good to keep asking but i have no choice but to keep asking for help. cause if i dont ask, i will not be able to cope and i cant produce anything. maybe i really made a wrong choice to take up this course and make myself so miserable now. i dont know how to describe my feelings now, but i really feel disastrous and miserable. but i know what ever it is, i really deserve it, cause i made the choice myself.
&ineedyounow.
Although i know that things don't always goes the way you want in life, and i always tried my very best to accept whats coming for me. But at this moment i think i just got to surrender myself and raise the white flag high. i believed i had tried and gave my best shot, but whats not for you will never be for you. i used to believe that if i tried and work very hard, i can survive. But after the start of school term, i just realize that i am so out of place. The way how the course is structured makes me think that i just barely smoke through my whole 3 years course in poly. i am glad i have many friends around, lending me their helping hands. i am really grateful, but i just cant open up my brain and ask it to accept that piece of information. being in the U is not easy, i know i have to be optimistic as i am always told to. There are just sometimes that you cant help but to think the bad way. Sometime i just feel like giving up right at this moment, and i think i really need someone to be there for me. i started feeling very emotional every single day, from the moment my eyes are wide open, to the moment i went to bed. i wake up feeling paranoid of what is coming for me in the future of this course. i know i shouldnt be worried about the future when i havent even pass one semester yet. But seeing the way i adapt and how i cope with each and every module, i just felt helpless about. i put in tons of effort in learning and trying to get the facts right, but the situation now is that whenever i saw the questions, no matter how much i felt i understood the content of the lecture notes, i just cant seems to answer them. i realized that as day pass by, i became more and more emotional, i started to lose control of my emotions. i used to be more strong and independent, but after this semester, i realized that i am not, and right at this moment i just think that for once, i wanted to do something and make a decision that can make myself happy. one of my uni friend told me that, what ever it is, just make a decision that makes you happy. when i give a thought over what he said, i realized that this sentence is very true. i am not happy nor do i enjoy what i am doing now. even if i stayed on in this course, i am just merely forcing myself to get through and done with it. when i ask him why is he in this course? he told me that it was his interest. then what about me? i asked myself why on earth am i doing in this course. i know i have friends to ask for help, but i actually dont really feel good to keep asking but i have no choice but to keep asking for help. cause if i dont ask, i will not be able to cope and i cant produce anything. maybe i really made a wrong choice to take up this course and make myself so miserable now. i dont know how to describe my feelings now, but i really feel disastrous and miserable. but i know what ever it is, i really deserve it, cause i made the choice myself.
&ineedyounow.
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