timeless

I wish that i could be blissfully unaware of time. I'm down with stomach flu for the past couple of days and because i'm home, clocks and watches have been conveniently out of view.

Sometimes, you just have to let go of all those human constructs (because time or at least how we conceptualize it is a human construct, just like calendars and birthdays). And you just float through your day.

Eating when you're hungry. Drinking when you're thirsty. Lazing about in bed reading until your desire for tea drives you to get up. Making stuff if that's what you feel like - and really listening to your inner self about what you feel like. Drinking tea. Going for a walk when you feel moved to go for a walk in the sunshine. Going for a drive when you feel like going for a drive. Eating ice cream when you feel like ice cream.

Listening to the inner rhythms, not the outer ones. And it's bliss, i tell you. Absolute bliss.

Kind of like stonehenge. Timeless. Outside of time. Impervious to time. I wish i could do it more often. When i'm healthier, of course.

the thing about epiphanies

Sometimes they hit you so hard that it feels like someone socked you in the stomach. Other times, it’s upon you, slowly and steadily, like the waves licking the shore, till you eventually get the drift.

But whichever way it strikes you, if what follows after is not some form of realisation leading to a decision and an action, then the moment would have been wasted, isn’t it? It’s like finally admitting that there is no Santa Claus, but still continuing to leave a glass of milk and plate of cookies out, for a reason that no one can fathom.

losing steam

Forgive the silence. I’ve been feeling rather uninspired these days. It’s not that I’ve got nothing to say, but some days I feel this isn’t the best medium to log my thoughts.

Anyhow, I’ve returned to burrowing my nose in books and hopefully, the words will flow once again.

how convenient, but yet, true

“The question of whether a thing is right or wrong, good or bad, must always be considered in relation to a person’s needs.”

— Jostein Gaarder (Sophie’s World)

the passing of time

For those who checked in for my lack of presence. Thanks.

It has been a long while since I've been this heavy. I used to be like that years ago, but I found out that it was useless.

Like what Sumiko Tan said in her article recently, crying doesn't help (plus you look ugly to boot) and “a loss is a loss is a loss is a loss”. It is exhausting emotionally and if you are already in a position of extreme vulnerability, then shedding tears just adds to the insecurity.

It is easier said than done to just accept the thing that caused your sadness and move on, and the old, rather over-used advice that time will ease everything is often met with a cry (literally) of – it’s different, you don't understand.

Of course. No one will completely comprehend why you feel the way you do and the extent of it (and maybe no one really cares). But perhaps the question to ask is whether you really understand why your emotions run so deep.

Do they really affect you so much or is it because you think they should and you convince yourself so? As lame as it sounds, the passing of time really does help, not brooding, although this is something that you can only accept and agree when you have experienced it. But however improbable it may seem now, it will happen eventually.