And so, what do I do next?
This girl deliberately does not reply my text.
She posted a picture of her and another guy on facebook.
There is no sound and no word from her.
I do not know if I should continue this or not.
Seriously... what does she treat me as?
She brings me up, and now she does not catch me when I fall.
The problem is, I am still falling in this bottomless pit.
There's no deadline to this until she puts a fullstop.
What the fuck do I do next?
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Tell me why
Why should we try so hard in life?
At the end of the day, if nothing good turns out of it, then why bother?
I'm not trying to be a pessmist over here.
But look what I've always been getting.
No matter how hard I try.
Or whatever that I do.
The outcome doesn't turn out the way I hope it would be!
And why is that so?
Can somebody tell me why?
At the end of the day, if nothing good turns out of it, then why bother?
I'm not trying to be a pessmist over here.
But look what I've always been getting.
No matter how hard I try.
Or whatever that I do.
The outcome doesn't turn out the way I hope it would be!
And why is that so?
Can somebody tell me why?
Friday, March 22, 2013
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Moody, let me bitch
I don't know what's wrong with me seriously. Why is it that people keep telling me my techniques are wrong. Honestly speaking, I don't find myself scary. I'm just being true and genuine and friendly. Is that being too scary to others? Maybe it does. Or maybe because people are too afraid of the cruel harsh reality of the world that when a nice person comes up to them, they naturally find that they are fake too. Truth?
I just want to have a pool of friends, whom I can really count on irregardless of whatever happens in this world. I want to have this group of people whom I can truly call as friends. But apparently they don't exist anymore. Every one has their own lives to lead. Who cares about you when you are in trouble. They just want to save their own ass.
What happened to "old time sake?". Old friends don't even exist. They only think and care about the current and the present. The past is nothing but a memory. So the past can all rot at the back of their memory.
Fuck this shit. Maybe I should be nasty and cruel to all the other souls out there in this world. Then maybe they will blog about me and call me shit. But who gives a fuck anymore.
Period.
I just want to have a pool of friends, whom I can really count on irregardless of whatever happens in this world. I want to have this group of people whom I can truly call as friends. But apparently they don't exist anymore. Every one has their own lives to lead. Who cares about you when you are in trouble. They just want to save their own ass.
What happened to "old time sake?". Old friends don't even exist. They only think and care about the current and the present. The past is nothing but a memory. So the past can all rot at the back of their memory.
Fuck this shit. Maybe I should be nasty and cruel to all the other souls out there in this world. Then maybe they will blog about me and call me shit. But who gives a fuck anymore.
Period.
Saturday, February 23, 2013
There's a person
Let me tell you a story. A true story.
A very long time ago, I met this person. A girl. Someone who will turn out to be rather special to me in the near future. Despite knowing this person since a long time ago, I remember vividly how we first met.
The whole meet up was pure coincidence and totally unplanned for. I still remember it was her graduation day and it was a casual outing for me with my friends. Just so happen that we both had this tingling feeling in us that made us felt each other's presence near the vicinity, hence we decided to text each other to find out. To both our amazement, we were really just next block to each other! We thus decided to be sneaky with our friends are decided for a rendezvous. Thinking back, it was really hilarious. But there you go, our first time meeting. Shortly later, I decided to meet her again after she was done with her plans to send her home. It was truly enjoyable. Till today, I still keep our first photos that we took together on an overhead bridge. Time flies.
We've been rather closely knit in our relationship. She's attached to this guy who shall not be named. Well, aparently this guy has some issues with me, probably jealous of how close I am to this girl. But that being said, he soon got too over his head and started asking this girl to cease all communication with me. Stupidly enough, this girl agreed. I guess this is what they call "love is blind". Blinded by her love for this guy, we still secretly kept in touch once in awhile and meet up too. Nothing could fool this guy. He soon found out and they went on a roller coaster ride. Well, of course you readers shouldn't just blame me, because I'm not the only "victim". All other male homosapiens that kept in close contact with this girl did feel this guy's wrath. Period.
Time goes on, and its been quite a number of years ever since I have first met this girl. We never fail to feel comfortable in each other's presence. But due to her busy schedule, tightly bounded by her "blinded eyesight", we rarely met up. There were many times where I really get so frustrated with this unique girl for her stupidity and lack of sensitivity towards my feelings. But each time, I chose to forgive her. UNTIL ONE TIME.....
This guy, had asked her to commit an act, in which she obliged to, which drastically damaged the trust that I have for her and the close knit ties I once had for her. She's really hit the boiling point this time. I had so very wanted to leave her on her own to fend for herself. Since I probably do not worth as much, I thought to myself that this girl needs to be taught a lesson. A very painful one in whivh she will remember and hopefully regret for the rest of her life. Yes, I am that revegeful and cruel.
But my heart soften when this girl came back to me one day and apologised and sought for forgiveness. As much as I want to forgive her, I still must make her pay for the price she had done. Since she is so blinded by a guy who does not even worth a single drop of hers, whom she so dearly hold close to her, she needs to understand she either lose him, or she loses everyone else next to her.
If you are reading this, and know that this is for you, please do reflect and my last advice to you, actions speak louder than words.
A very long time ago, I met this person. A girl. Someone who will turn out to be rather special to me in the near future. Despite knowing this person since a long time ago, I remember vividly how we first met.
The whole meet up was pure coincidence and totally unplanned for. I still remember it was her graduation day and it was a casual outing for me with my friends. Just so happen that we both had this tingling feeling in us that made us felt each other's presence near the vicinity, hence we decided to text each other to find out. To both our amazement, we were really just next block to each other! We thus decided to be sneaky with our friends are decided for a rendezvous. Thinking back, it was really hilarious. But there you go, our first time meeting. Shortly later, I decided to meet her again after she was done with her plans to send her home. It was truly enjoyable. Till today, I still keep our first photos that we took together on an overhead bridge. Time flies.
We've been rather closely knit in our relationship. She's attached to this guy who shall not be named. Well, aparently this guy has some issues with me, probably jealous of how close I am to this girl. But that being said, he soon got too over his head and started asking this girl to cease all communication with me. Stupidly enough, this girl agreed. I guess this is what they call "love is blind". Blinded by her love for this guy, we still secretly kept in touch once in awhile and meet up too. Nothing could fool this guy. He soon found out and they went on a roller coaster ride. Well, of course you readers shouldn't just blame me, because I'm not the only "victim". All other male homosapiens that kept in close contact with this girl did feel this guy's wrath. Period.
Time goes on, and its been quite a number of years ever since I have first met this girl. We never fail to feel comfortable in each other's presence. But due to her busy schedule, tightly bounded by her "blinded eyesight", we rarely met up. There were many times where I really get so frustrated with this unique girl for her stupidity and lack of sensitivity towards my feelings. But each time, I chose to forgive her. UNTIL ONE TIME.....
This guy, had asked her to commit an act, in which she obliged to, which drastically damaged the trust that I have for her and the close knit ties I once had for her. She's really hit the boiling point this time. I had so very wanted to leave her on her own to fend for herself. Since I probably do not worth as much, I thought to myself that this girl needs to be taught a lesson. A very painful one in whivh she will remember and hopefully regret for the rest of her life. Yes, I am that revegeful and cruel.
But my heart soften when this girl came back to me one day and apologised and sought for forgiveness. As much as I want to forgive her, I still must make her pay for the price she had done. Since she is so blinded by a guy who does not even worth a single drop of hers, whom she so dearly hold close to her, she needs to understand she either lose him, or she loses everyone else next to her.
If you are reading this, and know that this is for you, please do reflect and my last advice to you, actions speak louder than words.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Dillema again
Life is full of shit. Seriously, period! I don't know how to put what I am feeling across but I'm going to try my very best.
First of all, I seriously think I have committment issues. I want to find a relationship but yet at the same time I am afraid of committing. This sucks because every time I am nearing one, I always turn around and back out!
Secondly, why is it that I always can't seem to have the person whom I have the strongest feelings for. Because of this, I some times try to find substitutes in which I don't really have feelings for but yet eventually get so close to getting together. Then I pull out and think, maybe I should just wait for the person whom I have the strongest feelings for.
Confused about what I've said so far?
Thirdly, I think the secondary head thinks more than the primary head. (If you get what I mean)
Lastly, fuck my life. AGAIN!
PS: I think I'm too nice a person.
First of all, I seriously think I have committment issues. I want to find a relationship but yet at the same time I am afraid of committing. This sucks because every time I am nearing one, I always turn around and back out!
Secondly, why is it that I always can't seem to have the person whom I have the strongest feelings for. Because of this, I some times try to find substitutes in which I don't really have feelings for but yet eventually get so close to getting together. Then I pull out and think, maybe I should just wait for the person whom I have the strongest feelings for.
Confused about what I've said so far?
Thirdly, I think the secondary head thinks more than the primary head. (If you get what I mean)
Lastly, fuck my life. AGAIN!
PS: I think I'm too nice a person.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
De-everything you can think of
Hi there guys,
I'm back again to blog because this time I'm really feeling it again. I am not sure if I posted about this before (but I'm quite sure I did), about how demoralised I was when I first got my posting after graduating from the academy. I think I'm feeling it right now again.
Somehow or rather, I don't seem to find the motivation to work anymore. I don't see a sense of direction at where I am heading. Maybe it's because of the recent cases that I've been up against at work (and boy, its rather major, to me at least), or perhaps its just the stress at how my supervisor has been directing alot of pressure at me because I recently just handled on a new jobscope.
Each day, I just drag myself to work and maybe, perhaps, could be... my other team mates are my only motivation I would like to see myself there. Other than that, I still dream about leaving that God-forsaken place to be on the ground, seeing where all the action are. Today, I spoke to a former ground personnel, and she too miss that kind of experience. I really want to see myself in that position, seeing all the first hand action and all.
I know, every time I come back onto this platform is when I have something bad to rant about. But this is really a place where I can put all my thoughts into and just let it out. Well, there isn't someone in my life right now whom I could really relate all these thoughts to anymore. Best friend just got attached to a new girl, so I have to be more understanding that more of his time goes to her. I must say, I am actually quite jealous and envious of him but yet at the same time happy for him. We used to complain day in and day out non stop about being single and looking at those beautiful ladies walking along the street and say "why are we still single". But just as he wasn't finding one, he got it.
I wonder, when is it my turn. Hahahaha.
Happy New Year to one and all! :D
I'm back again to blog because this time I'm really feeling it again. I am not sure if I posted about this before (but I'm quite sure I did), about how demoralised I was when I first got my posting after graduating from the academy. I think I'm feeling it right now again.
Somehow or rather, I don't seem to find the motivation to work anymore. I don't see a sense of direction at where I am heading. Maybe it's because of the recent cases that I've been up against at work (and boy, its rather major, to me at least), or perhaps its just the stress at how my supervisor has been directing alot of pressure at me because I recently just handled on a new jobscope.
Each day, I just drag myself to work and maybe, perhaps, could be... my other team mates are my only motivation I would like to see myself there. Other than that, I still dream about leaving that God-forsaken place to be on the ground, seeing where all the action are. Today, I spoke to a former ground personnel, and she too miss that kind of experience. I really want to see myself in that position, seeing all the first hand action and all.
I know, every time I come back onto this platform is when I have something bad to rant about. But this is really a place where I can put all my thoughts into and just let it out. Well, there isn't someone in my life right now whom I could really relate all these thoughts to anymore. Best friend just got attached to a new girl, so I have to be more understanding that more of his time goes to her. I must say, I am actually quite jealous and envious of him but yet at the same time happy for him. We used to complain day in and day out non stop about being single and looking at those beautiful ladies walking along the street and say "why are we still single". But just as he wasn't finding one, he got it.
I wonder, when is it my turn. Hahahaha.
Happy New Year to one and all! :D
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