Unpredictability

That's life.
You just don't know when you will have your last breath and the next moment you're on the way to another place. That's what I felt when I came across people whose life has come to an end just so suddenly, and at such a young age.

I feel sorry and upset for them. For they should have had many more years ahead of them. May their souls rest in peace. But life is just that unpredictable. I feel that its cos their time is up. They have done their part in this world and hence moved on.

Humans won't appreciate what they have infront of them until they lose it.
Don't regret when it becomes too late.

Peace out.

National Day 2011

Yet another year to celebrate our Nation's birthday.
46 years of independence and counting.
I am still proud to be a Singaporean.
But definitely not proud of Singaporeans.

I hope I can catch the parade live on television.
I didn't manage to last year because I had to book into Tekong.
This year, I want to watch it.

I'm still not sure if I should take part in the observance ceremony.
If i'm free most probably I would.
Oh wells. I feel old and rusty.
I still remember the first time we did it in 2007/8.
How time flies.

Happy 46th Birthday Singapore!
Majulah Singapura!

Stuck

I'm always stuck and caught in situations where I don't want to be in. Its tiring and really very depressing. I now see why the number of mental patients in our country is so large despite the very small population that we have.

There are so many things that I want to have or do. But then again some times its not permisible to do such things due to various reasons. Some times I do want to just dump everything away and give up. Walk away and just shut the world out of my life. This kind of life... definitely not one that I want to be leading.

Its a mad mad world out there.

Multi-Racial

**DISCLAIMER: This topic is about the different races in our local community with regards to relationships. It is not specifically targeted to any particular person and/or race. Neither of the below mentioned is made as a racist comment and/or joke.

Okay, I don't know if you guys have been noticing this or not, but I definitely have. Couples. Multi-racial couples. Actually i'm more sensitive and particular about the Chinese girls going out with guys from the other races. Because that only means that Chinese guys have lesser people to choose from!

Honestly speaking, the girls involved are usually the more good looking ones. Which makes things even more frustating because people like me don't stand a chance anymore. Not that I have anything against the guys from the other races, cos some times they're quite good looking and have nice personalities. Some of my friends did tell me before that they find it true that the Chinese guys are losing it. As in, they're not as attractive as other races guys.

I wonder what is the world becoming to these days. Hah!

Henpecked?

When I see a guy, following a girl behind, and carrying all her shopping bags, and perhaps even her own personal bag, it totally digusts me. Or maybe when the girl is walking so proudly, and maybe talking on the phone, while the guy is dragging himself to follow the girl because he feels awkward (most probably he likes the girl that's why he is even there) of talking to her.

These sight makes me feel so miserable being a guy. Its irritable. I don't know why but I feel that the guys should have some backbone. Yes, girls are important part of a man's life but it doesn't make one to stoop so low just to make her feel almighty.

A friend told me before that maybe its because of true love. The guy doesn't mind doing that or maybe that's his way of showing that he loves her. And the girl, showing him she loves him by doing as such. Okay, maybe that friend does have a point.

But I'm just saying I don't feel its a well balanced relationship.
JUST SAYING.

It's a long and tiring journey

Inner peace.
Popular two words said by a master in the movie Kungfu Panda 2.
This is exactly what I require in my life right now.

A lot have been going through recently.
Probably not in quantity of issues.
But its the magnitude of these issues that makes me go bonkers.

I didn't manage to get posted into a place I wanted to be in.
I try my best to process the possibility of me being in there.
I find ways to make it seem not so bad.
I've seen certain positivity in being in there.
But deep down inside my heart, I still feel down.

Today, I didn't made it for my IPPT either.
I failed my running as usual.
Its a little got to do with the pride.
This time, I feel bad because I felt I let myself and the people around me down.
Not like I don't feel bad each time I fail.
But this time its slightly different.

To many, passing IPPT is easy.
Or at least the running part is easy to train.
Since young I've never been able to do it well.
And till today, as hard as I try not to give up, I still fail.

This journey is going to be long and tiring.
I already feel the strain on my shoulders with so much to bear.
Its not as easy as many people think.
I barely started and its starting to wear me down.

FUCK MY LIFE

A few days ago, I wanted to comment about the term "FML".
How in the world do you fuck your own life?!
But today, I experienced something.
That literally just FUCKED MY LIFE.

Today, I reported for work.
Being anxious and excited.
Upon reaching, my friends slowly started receiving information about their postings.
And guess what?
I'm left out cos I don't know where I'll be at.

Hence, I thought that maybe I would go to one of the remaining places.
But unfortunately that didn't happen.
"Expect the unexpected"
So much for that, I got posted to a place TOTALLY OUT OF THE LIST.

And yes, now I'm officially in the DHQ.
Doing back stage work.
Blessing in disguise?
Know the background work before being on the ground?
Maybe.

But this is definitely NOT what i signed up for!
I want this job to be on the ground.
Meeting people.
Enforcing the law.
But stay behind and not even see the sunlight when I work.
Hiding away in the basement dealing with persons in custody.
Or listening to the headset talking to my beloved colleagues on the ground.

This is seriously fucking my life.

The second blow came when we first reported for work.
And the news of IPPT being held the very next day had to come.
What a wonderful thing to start of my career isn't it?
HA HA HA.

I'm alone in DHQ.
Not getting what I wanted, AT ALL.
IPPT, which I'm probably gonna fail.

FUCK MY LIFE

OMG

Its going to be my first day at work tomorrow.
Kinda like my first full time job also.
Makes me excited.
Yet I have a tinge of anxiousness and nervousness.
Of course not forgetting a little bit of fear.
I am afraid of what the future brings.
But then again the future is what excites me.
I want to excel.
I hope I can excel.
But I need to have faith in myself and those around.
Hopefully I can get into a good team.
And of course a good location.
All the best to me once again!