Oktober Getaway One-One

I know I am a little bit lag. I've been back for a few days now, but I'm only posting only now. I don't think anyone bothers to read this blog space anymore but I'm still going to update it anyway (although it gets kinda a chore to do haha).

So if you didn't know, in which not many people knew in the first place, I went to Dubai and Hamburg, Germany last week. Took a week's break off from work. Kind of a good re charge I must admit. But with the jet lag and everything, maybe not.

Dubai was great. Although a little warm, but the scenary and stuff was quite nice. Hamburg was awesome too but with the cold and they only had shopping to do, that kind of bore me out. The skin around my lips got burnt by the cold. Yes, it hurts. But if you ask me, I would say Dubai is more worth the trip. And I'd choose another country other than Europe to travel for my honeymoon in future. Hahaha.

Oh let me show you some pictures.

Yup, I did say SOME pictures.

Waiting can be an agony

Its a virtue? Perhaps.
But definitely a torture to the person waiting.
Time and tide waits for no man.
Waiting aimlessly is the worst of them all.
You don't even know the outcome.
Whether the end result will be what you waited for.
But well, that's the way life works.
You wait and wait for things to happen.
Not everything is within your control.
You can't make things happen some times.
Hence, you wait.

What are friends for?

SITUATION: A friend is upset.
DURATION: More than just a few days.
ACTION TAKEN: Tried to comfort, but to no avail.

So... do you leave a friend behind knowing they are troubled but doesn't feel like talking to you? Or perhaps because you couldn't do anything to help and you leave them to stand up again? Maybe you feel that you are being irritating to your friend because you've been trying to help but always being rejected?

I don't know what to do at all. I wish I could help in some way or another. But I seriously have no idea on what approach to use or do anything that could make that friend feel better than the current situation. If you really care for someone, you would like them to feel happy and all. And it really sucks seeing that friend being so down all the time.

I don't have many friends to begin with. Not many that I could communicate with very well. Probably because I'm a weird guy, I don't mix well with others, or whatever reasons there may be. But when it comes to people whom I really care for, they do mean a lot to me. I really hope that I could be a friend indeed when that friend is in need.

Take care.

Building blocks

The stress is building up.
I can't take this anymore!

I have a new light at work. I think so. I'm gonna request for a transfer hopefully by June next year. At least that seems easier to look forward to than October 2013. Maybe I'm starting to accept where I am now. I talked to a colleague. He faced the same situation as me. Maybe worse because he even tendered his resignation, I haven't, yet. He learnt to accept it, but that doesn't mean he likes the job. I'm sure I can do the same thing. And hopefully apply for transfer. Even if its within the divison. Well, for now I shall just treat it as NS.

Girls. What bitches they can be, seriously. They think that guys will always be at their back and call and that there'll always be one guy sucking up to them all the time. One day, they will be hit hard, right smack on their face, never to toy with a man's feelings. I agree some times its the male's fault, but that doesn't give the female the right to do anything else they want.

Life is mundane. That happens when you enter the working life and your social circle shrinks rapidly? I don't know seriously. I just hope that I get a new lease of life soon and that I can find new light. Afterall, we're all building blocks in this circle of life aren't we?

You know what?

Fuck this shit.

Such is life.

Take it, or leave it.

How do you expect people to keep taking the initiative to strike up conversations. How do you expect them to continously make an effort to try to maintain a friendship when you could just sit back and absorb all these goodness. It doesn't feel good for the person making the effort, neither does it look good on you.

Why can't my friends understand that it takes two hands to clap.

The void and emptiness of not having a friend to rely on.
SUCKS.

Bleah.

Some times we are forced to do certain things beyond our choices. You don't want to do such a thing, but circumstances force you to do it beyond your own will. Do you know how sucky that feeling is to be doing such a thing? To other people, it may seem like a small thing. Or maybe they haven't came across such situations. Perhaps they didn't think so far and think about the consequences that may snowball in the future. I really don't want such things to happen. It happened before to me, and to some of my friends. Don't we need to learn from experience? Precisely I did, but yet again I'm forced to do it beyond my own will. Suck thumb and die.

What may seem like the truth, may not be afterall.

It seems like you've moved on pretty fast as well. People say girls are more emotional than guys and they tend to take longer time to recover than guys. Whilst guys always seem so cold blooded and being able to move on with life so quickly. But that's not always true. Guys have feelings too. In fact, its as delicate as a girl's. So don't ever doubt a guy the way most people stereotype them to be.

Well, it does hurt. To be seeing something so close yet so far. It hurts even more to be knowing you lost something which you didn't treasure too much before. But that's life isn't it? You lose something, then you learn how to regret and feel the pinch. How sucky that can be.

"All I want to do is find a way back into love"

I know, You know, We all know

Yup. I know she's to a certain extend upset/angry at me for what I did. She may not say it but its showing in every of her action and words towards me. Its quite upsetting to see how we turned out this way. I mean, I really thought we could end it nicely. But then you proved me wrong. The previous one was like that, so are you.

Now, for all of you to know, I'm not going to be a nice guy anymore.

Do you believe?

Do you ever believe in love at first sight?
Today, that girl I saw....
Oh wells.

And do you believe it?
I failed IPPT for the third time.

I'm not happy at all.

:(

Behind Bars

One thing is for sure: I AM NOT HAPPY AT WORK!
I feel so suffocated in there.
It feels as though I am in the lockup just like those prisoners.
The team isn't good.
So different.
I don't like!

I wish to be released soon.

Unpredictability

That's life.
You just don't know when you will have your last breath and the next moment you're on the way to another place. That's what I felt when I came across people whose life has come to an end just so suddenly, and at such a young age.

I feel sorry and upset for them. For they should have had many more years ahead of them. May their souls rest in peace. But life is just that unpredictable. I feel that its cos their time is up. They have done their part in this world and hence moved on.

Humans won't appreciate what they have infront of them until they lose it.
Don't regret when it becomes too late.

Peace out.

National Day 2011

Yet another year to celebrate our Nation's birthday.
46 years of independence and counting.
I am still proud to be a Singaporean.
But definitely not proud of Singaporeans.

I hope I can catch the parade live on television.
I didn't manage to last year because I had to book into Tekong.
This year, I want to watch it.

I'm still not sure if I should take part in the observance ceremony.
If i'm free most probably I would.
Oh wells. I feel old and rusty.
I still remember the first time we did it in 2007/8.
How time flies.

Happy 46th Birthday Singapore!
Majulah Singapura!

Stuck

I'm always stuck and caught in situations where I don't want to be in. Its tiring and really very depressing. I now see why the number of mental patients in our country is so large despite the very small population that we have.

There are so many things that I want to have or do. But then again some times its not permisible to do such things due to various reasons. Some times I do want to just dump everything away and give up. Walk away and just shut the world out of my life. This kind of life... definitely not one that I want to be leading.

Its a mad mad world out there.

Multi-Racial

**DISCLAIMER: This topic is about the different races in our local community with regards to relationships. It is not specifically targeted to any particular person and/or race. Neither of the below mentioned is made as a racist comment and/or joke.

Okay, I don't know if you guys have been noticing this or not, but I definitely have. Couples. Multi-racial couples. Actually i'm more sensitive and particular about the Chinese girls going out with guys from the other races. Because that only means that Chinese guys have lesser people to choose from!

Honestly speaking, the girls involved are usually the more good looking ones. Which makes things even more frustating because people like me don't stand a chance anymore. Not that I have anything against the guys from the other races, cos some times they're quite good looking and have nice personalities. Some of my friends did tell me before that they find it true that the Chinese guys are losing it. As in, they're not as attractive as other races guys.

I wonder what is the world becoming to these days. Hah!

Henpecked?

When I see a guy, following a girl behind, and carrying all her shopping bags, and perhaps even her own personal bag, it totally digusts me. Or maybe when the girl is walking so proudly, and maybe talking on the phone, while the guy is dragging himself to follow the girl because he feels awkward (most probably he likes the girl that's why he is even there) of talking to her.

These sight makes me feel so miserable being a guy. Its irritable. I don't know why but I feel that the guys should have some backbone. Yes, girls are important part of a man's life but it doesn't make one to stoop so low just to make her feel almighty.

A friend told me before that maybe its because of true love. The guy doesn't mind doing that or maybe that's his way of showing that he loves her. And the girl, showing him she loves him by doing as such. Okay, maybe that friend does have a point.

But I'm just saying I don't feel its a well balanced relationship.
JUST SAYING.

It's a long and tiring journey

Inner peace.
Popular two words said by a master in the movie Kungfu Panda 2.
This is exactly what I require in my life right now.

A lot have been going through recently.
Probably not in quantity of issues.
But its the magnitude of these issues that makes me go bonkers.

I didn't manage to get posted into a place I wanted to be in.
I try my best to process the possibility of me being in there.
I find ways to make it seem not so bad.
I've seen certain positivity in being in there.
But deep down inside my heart, I still feel down.

Today, I didn't made it for my IPPT either.
I failed my running as usual.
Its a little got to do with the pride.
This time, I feel bad because I felt I let myself and the people around me down.
Not like I don't feel bad each time I fail.
But this time its slightly different.

To many, passing IPPT is easy.
Or at least the running part is easy to train.
Since young I've never been able to do it well.
And till today, as hard as I try not to give up, I still fail.

This journey is going to be long and tiring.
I already feel the strain on my shoulders with so much to bear.
Its not as easy as many people think.
I barely started and its starting to wear me down.

FUCK MY LIFE

A few days ago, I wanted to comment about the term "FML".
How in the world do you fuck your own life?!
But today, I experienced something.
That literally just FUCKED MY LIFE.

Today, I reported for work.
Being anxious and excited.
Upon reaching, my friends slowly started receiving information about their postings.
And guess what?
I'm left out cos I don't know where I'll be at.

Hence, I thought that maybe I would go to one of the remaining places.
But unfortunately that didn't happen.
"Expect the unexpected"
So much for that, I got posted to a place TOTALLY OUT OF THE LIST.

And yes, now I'm officially in the DHQ.
Doing back stage work.
Blessing in disguise?
Know the background work before being on the ground?
Maybe.

But this is definitely NOT what i signed up for!
I want this job to be on the ground.
Meeting people.
Enforcing the law.
But stay behind and not even see the sunlight when I work.
Hiding away in the basement dealing with persons in custody.
Or listening to the headset talking to my beloved colleagues on the ground.

This is seriously fucking my life.

The second blow came when we first reported for work.
And the news of IPPT being held the very next day had to come.
What a wonderful thing to start of my career isn't it?
HA HA HA.

I'm alone in DHQ.
Not getting what I wanted, AT ALL.
IPPT, which I'm probably gonna fail.

FUCK MY LIFE

OMG

Its going to be my first day at work tomorrow.
Kinda like my first full time job also.
Makes me excited.
Yet I have a tinge of anxiousness and nervousness.
Of course not forgetting a little bit of fear.
I am afraid of what the future brings.
But then again the future is what excites me.
I want to excel.
I hope I can excel.
But I need to have faith in myself and those around.
Hopefully I can get into a good team.
And of course a good location.
All the best to me once again!

Gone Fishin'

We went for a two days trip. Luckily it was only two days because I was almost bored to death and I kinda wished I was going home earlier. It was supposed to be a father and son fishing trip to Tanjung Pinang Kawal Kelong. However, it turned out to be one without big catches at all. All we had were small tiny fishes that we find too insignificant that we gave it to the owner to cook.

But what's worth it there is their food. One meal comes with at least 5 dishes and 1 soup. They serve you like a king! Free flow of coffee, tea or milo! That's probably one of the best part. Oh, they have crabs for lunch! Haha.

They focus more on other activities. They have air rifle shooting, banana boat, pool table, etc etc. Just that our main purpose there isn't successfully satisfied and fulfilled. Rather unfortunate because I was really hoping for a good trip before I start work really soon.

But that's okay, I still hope for future trips. Although one with better results. And probably one to a resort. I really want to go to one and experience it there. Just the lepak-ness, not much of the activities. Here's some pictures. Oh! And the living conditions are quite good.

Regrets

Have you ever encountered situations where you have to make a choice, but at the end of it, you regret making that choice? Or maybe you were so certain that the choice you made before was so right and at the end of it things didn't turn out so right you just had to feel regret for making such a choice?

There are many things that we do that requires us to make choices. Its really tough to choose between right or wrong some times. At times its just a thin line, a very grey area, and you don't know what to do when you face such situations.

I have made a fair share of wrong choices in life. I have many regrets. Sadly to say, I still think about them, and regret my decisions. Most of which are related to someone else. For I cannot tolerate myself hurting another person, especially a delicate heart. But at times, when things just pop out and irregardless of whether it is right or wrong, when you just got to do it, you just got to do it.

The pain and misery that I feel every time I think about a regret I've made in my life, is just so incomprehensible. Its as if my heart just sank into a bottomless pit of hollowness. Pain and sorrow just pokes at my heart as it sinks deeper. You want to feel better, you want to lift yourself up, but it just keeps falling. You feel as if your heart is crying, crying its own heart out. Sigh.

I make it a point. Never to feel regret in my life for whatever decisions I make. So far so good. But some times you just have no choice. And the past still torments me. Its like a permanent marker, it can never be erased off.

Time can never be rewind. So let's not even bother going or thinking about that. I just hope that the future will be regret-free. Or at least have me make decisions that I won't regret so badly. Oh well, this happens when you think too much again.

Area 5 STC/ATC 2011

Yet another year and another camp.
But this time, it was slightly different.
A different feeling.

I remember the previous one that I went to was just before I enlisted into the army. And guess what? The next one after last year's was just after I finished all my training and graduated. Kinda cool isn't it? Its been one whole long year. Couldn't believe it myself.

This year, the campers weren't fantastic. In fact, one of the worst batch I have ever seen. They lack so many qualities of being a good leader and that made me kinda upset throughout the ending of this camp. I shall not elaborate more.

The seniors of the Area are also starting to leave. I see lesser of them these days. Part of the reason why I still come back for such camps is because I think they are an awesome bunch of people to be with. The newer Instructors are a little bit on the anti social and incompetent side. Shan't eleborate too much on that too.

Lastly, there was an angel in this camp. Lalalala.
Go figure yourself.

A Girl

A girl may look beautiful but....

... When she picks up a cigarrete...
... When she has gorgeous hair from behind and her face...
... When she smiles and her teeth...

But she looks ugliest when...
... Her character, attitude and personality...

5 Random Things

PS: I got a shock when I went into my blog! HAHAHA.

1. I prefer noodles as compared to rice.
2. I am sensitive to perfume
3. I have a better pictorial memory
4. I hate smoking
5. I hate people who drag their feet/shoes

Fetish

I have a new fetish:
Girls with thick black spectacles.

(Anything below the neckline is a bonus HAHAHAHAHA)

PS: Its a picture taken from the trusty Google.com

GRADUATION

The Passing Out Parade was held on the 27th of May 2011.
With clouds partially overhead,
Slight breeze of the winds,
Cooling atmosphere,
Most of our hearts were racing as we prepare for march in.

Honestly, to me I didn't felt much of this parade.
It only feels good after we really completed everything and seeing my invited guests.
Taking pictures and all,
That I really felt happy and glad that I have finally graduated.
Graduated, as a full fledge officer.

I'm really glad most of the people I invited managed to come.
Unfortunately some didn't and/or couldn't make it.
Touched that some people even took extra effort so that they could make it.

All in all, the parade went fine.
Like I said, nothing spectacularly special to me.
But it makes a whole difference with loved ones around.

For now, I just hope to get posted to a good DIV.
And I shall let the pictures do the rest of the talking.

I deserve nothing but the best

I've been trying to find a new pair of shoes.
But they're so expensive.
I keep thinking about how cheap they were in the past.
And there isn't one that exactly caught my attention.
When there was one that's not too bad, there isn't a size.
I am too fussy with the designs as well.
But that's alright, because I deserve nothing but the best right? Haha.

As the days goes by, I cannot tolerate a certain group of people anymore.
I find them utterly disgusting.
They totally show all the ugly sides of human beings.
I can't wait till they FO from my life =D

The world's filled with selfish people.
Everyone thinks about themselves.
I rarely see nice people anymore.
But today, someone proved me wrong.
A random stranger offered me a piece of tissue when I was sneezing like a mad cow in the bus on the way home.
Maybe the world's not so cold afterall.

Am I a scary person?
How come so many people perceive me to be like that.
I don't eat people.
And when I'm nice, they think I'm having some ulterior motive.
Bleah.

Oh, there's also this fake person.
Okay there's many fake people.
They pretend to be nice infront of you.
But actually behind you they hate you to the core.
Why can't you just remove the mask, and tell the other party you don't like them?
It'd make life so much simpler that way.
Then I won't have to be nice to you anymore and you can FO from my life.

What's this world becoming to?
I think I deserve nothing but the best.
Don't blame me for being nasty.
If Karma doesn't bite you, I WILL!

Aquarius

I face all four problems.
REMIND MYSELF OF THE SOLUTION!!!

Problem: Being left all alone while others enjoy the companionship you long for.
Solution: You should practice expressing your humanity by accepting people the way they are and not find too much fault in them.

Problem: You always seem to miss the boat when it comes to love.

Solution: Try letting down the mental guard that you keep on your emotions that stops you from being the self you long to be.

Problem: You always seem to miss out on the better jobs or big promotions at work.

Solution: Learn to use your positive side in teamwork and group effort, the lone wolf approach will get you nowhere.

Problem: You seem to become physically ill more than you should.

Solution: By repressing your emotions you drive the unrest deep inside where it can cost you in terms of health. Express your feelings but do it with tact.

Curiosity

I think I have blogged about this title before.
But anyway, its happening again so I'm reinterating it once more.
Curiosity more often than not kills the cat.
Been killed many times already that's how I know.
Examples... I shall skip on this one.

Other than that, I think I need to learn patience.
Its a virtue isn't it?
And more often than not, patience is the key to most doors.
Once I master this skill, I'd be living life better.

Shall update you readers (if any) about what's happening in life - my life.
1. 3 more weeks to POP and I am so DAMN happy.
2. I am still single.
3. Life's hectic in camp because its gonna be SARDINE PACKED till POP.
4. I hope I can find someone willing to go and attend otherwise it'd be miserable.
5. After that, I also hope I can find someone to go overseas with.
6. And also have my life return back to normal, especially social.
7. On most weekends, I do not have time for myself.
8. POP will be just short of 9 days till I make up 1 year in camp life.
9. I need more friends. Better ones.
10. Deployment wasn't that bad minus the standing part.
11. Sometimes putting the past behind would be a better choice.

Time to move on Edwin.

Guess What?

Okay, guess what? I'm really tired of all these crap.
I want to put an end to all of these nonsense right this moment.
But sometimes, even by having all the "weapons" in life, somethings just can't be controlled by just us alone.

I hate irresponsible people.
All of them ought to just shoot themselves in the head.
Maybe because I'm too responsible that's why. Haha.

I didn't get to see the 2pm girl.
But apparantly someone else saw her.
Maybe he saw the right girl.
But then again, the main point is... ...
I DIDN'T GET TO SEE HER!
(nevermind, next week!)

Its quite nice to have a GF in camp =)

I miss my freedom.
I miss having endless amount of time to myself.
When I was walking home alone.
I really enjoyed it

If there's no love in this world
There wouldn't be any hatred.
What's beautiful when you don't know what ugly is
There couldn't be any positives
Without any negatives

All I need now
Is what you and I all know
And that would be

YOU

NPAP 2011 (Preview)

I made my way down with Rafael for the parade's preview.
Actually, I'm quite disappointed with the standard of the parade.
Not only the cadets, but the instructors as well.
If you really asked me, I think I would put the blame more on the instructors.

Enough said.
I just hope that the actual parade will be much better.
One of the main reasons is to actually go down to see friends.
But most of them are new anyway.
So there's no point going down actually. Haha.

Off topic now.

If there's no avenue, there's no way I'm getting out of this.
I'm kinda stuck in a situation.
A very horrible one which I totally dislike being in.
I want to get out real soon.

POP date is more or less confirmed.
27 May 2011.
Please come sooner.
And please post me to a division of my choice.

I want to make more friends.
My social circle is stale.
Okay, its not stale but in fact, its shrinking.
Where in the world did all my so called "friends" gone to?

I think I am mostly depressed nowadays because I'm single.
I shall not elaborate further.

Final IPPT coming up.
ALL THE WAY EDWIN!!!

There's no end to this road.
Its a vicious cycle whereby I kill you, you kill me.
One day, all of us will just be extinct like the dinosaurs.

Random. Goodbye.

Small punks

Apparantly, some small ass punk just pissed me off while I was having dinner with my parents.
I seriously felt like teaching him a lesson. Of course not physically, but verbally.
But I didn't in the end.
Instead, I gave him a stare that surely his balls will shrink and go all the way up his throat.
I hope they get a physical lesson from someone else when they do not use their brains to think when they talk but instead every word came out from their asshole.

Period.

Reminder:

When you do something against the law, please remember not to run away from the police. Otherwise, we'll make sure you kena jialat jialat. If we don't catch you today, we will arrest you another day. Take care folks.

Attachment

"What did you learn so far?"
"%$&*@#..... I learnt how to scold vulgarities"

Tiring. Fullstop.

No Title

Sometimes, is it really worth it when you put your trust into somebody who doesn't appreciate anything that you do? When you just want to genuinely help people, make them happy or just not have any ulterior motives, they just don't bother anything about you?

Sometimes, I really do not understand how people think or what are they thinking about. Its just a way too complex thing that goes on in one's tiny brain. Actually humans are simple. But when you put a male and a female together, they become the most complex thing you can ever find.

I'm going for my attachment. I'm excited about it. I'm happy also because at least I'm out from camp. I just hope to learn the most out of it and hopefully encounter interesting stuff. Hopefully no unlucky ones though.

Barbeque was awesome today. Impromptu makes it even more exciting. The location was great too. The people were wonderful. And I finally managed to have my craving for barbequed prawns! Hahaha.

I still hope for it to happen one day.

Updates!

1. It has been a really long time since I could sleep on the bed and not bother about what's going to happen next and just lie there till I'm feel shiok enough to get up and face reality. Hahaha. Managed to do that this weekend and it feels totally awesome!

2. I bought a new wallet. Old one's getting old. The one that someone bought, I think I'd rather safekeep it than use it.

3. I actually do miss her sometimes. Haha, but let's not talk about history.

4. Camp at Pulau Ubin totally rocked, NOT! I hated their PT sessions in the morning. 10km run up and down steep slopes is not a joke even for a person who is not injured. But it totally killed both my knees and shin while I ran. They taught many leadership stuff. Most of which I have already learnt before. Hence, going there is a waste of time. But at least I made myself useful by being able to pitch a tent and use my topography skills.

5. Graduating in approximately two months time. Totally exciting to the max! I need a change of environment. QUICK!!! I want to go backpacking after that. I hope I have the time and the cash and the people to go with me.

6. Attachment is also coming up. I am excited. Minus the part that its all the way at... such a far location. Hahaha. Like I said, I need a change of environment. I hope this attachment will give me some "break" time away from the routinal training. I'm all trained and ready to be posted out to the field.

7. I didn't do very well for my shooting. I know my mistake now. I expected a very high score and marksman but unfortunately I did not achieve it. All the best to me for my future shoots so that I can have $200 in my pocket yearly!

8. I want to watch LIONKING THE MUSICAL. One of my squadmate was mentioning about it. And that movie was my favourite cartoon show. Till date, I still don't get bored watching it and I totally looove it! But I also heard its expensive.

"An ounce of action is worth a ton of theory"

The Eyecandy Story - Part Two (2)

The Eyecandy Story - Part One (1)

Chapter 7
Upon waiting anxiously for my birthday celebration to arrive, I couldn't wait when the day finally came. I was counting down every single day till that very moment. I was hoping for many surprises. There were many "hopes" and "wishes" that I thought I could get or that my friends would plan for me or perhaps my eyecandy would do. Unfortunately all hope was lost when I reached the restaurant. She.... She wasn't there as she promised. I totally felt moodless immediately that evening. I felt disappointed. I felt upset. I felt angry. Many thoughts flooded through my mind. "Why wasn't she here today like she said", "Is she planning a big surprise for me", "I feel so cheated".

Chapter 8
I didn't go back there for a quite some time. For fear of what I might feel or say or do when I see her again. Afraid of what might happen next. The awkwardness, or any of such sort. Also partially because I was busy with my own plans. Then one fine day I decided to go back there. Just to pop by and also see what might happen. (I'm curious by nature) And so that night, we met again. And this time round, I approached her differently by giving her my contact number instead. Surprisingly, she contacted me that very same night. I totally did not expect her to do that. But it was definitely a pleasant surprise.

Chapter 9
I did manage to talk to her for awhile. Know more about her background and where she comes from. Its nice and interesting to see the many walks of life people lead. I don't know where this would lead to. But I definitely do not wish for this story to end here. No one can read the future, so let nature take its course.

READERSHIP!!!

This is bad.
I think my readership level has decreased tremendously.
No one bothers coming to this blog anymore.
BOOHOO!!! =(

Suck Thumb & Die

Some times, just leave your baggage behind, let your past go, then perhaps we'll be a happier person. I don't know why but I keep thinking of the times we spent together. I can even relate the movies that I watch to what happened between us. Its sad how things turn out, but nevermind, cos if that's what you really want, then I'll just have to accept it.

I'm going for a camp. To a place which brought me two different kind of feelings. One is when I really fear and have a phobia of. All the punishments, PT, activities (that im afraid of) and just the feeling of being out of my comfort zone. Another feeling is when I feel all excited to meet my friends, have all the fun stuff together, no restrictions, and be the one that dominates the events. But now, I'm going to meet my fears all over again.

I think people play a big part of whatever you do. The words they say can really pierce through my delicate heart. Their actions they do can really hurt whatever that is left of me. Hence, a big part of why I'm not enjoying the things that I do or are happening in my life now is because of the people. But I'm glad I do have some that call themselves my friends. And I'm proud of them.

Too bad, life is just the way it is.
Suck thumb and die.

The Most True of The Lot

I'm the biggest sucker when it comes to love and relationships.

Random. But True

1. Return what is not yours. Its not nice to keep things hanging.

2. I'm confused.

3. I don't want to hurt people's feelings, but in the end, I end up hurting myself.

4. I'm sick of camp life. I don't want to be a trainee anymore.

5. I'm trying to find a new goal in life.

6. Sometimes life is just complicated the way it is.

7. I think I feel happiest alone, but also miserable when I'm too alone.

8. I think Aquarius are cool. Because I'm one. We have rather unique characteristics.

9. I want to get a Blackberry Bold.

10. If there's one thing I could do now, I want to make time pass faster.

11. I completed Block 1 successfully.

12. I'm looking forward to being the best in shooting.

13. I think girls are really weird creatures.

14. Boys are really worse than girls when it comes it bitching and gossiping.

15. I think older/mature girls are really more attractive.

It's My Life

I haven't exactly been updating this space about what's happening to me in my current life. So let me do so by telling you what I've been doing.

1. Training has been starting to change. Not so mundane anymore. Wake up, PT, lessons, lessons, sleep. This time round, we've been doing other things, which makes time past slightly faster. However, the time spent as a recruit/trainee has been way too long. Its really tiring and I'm really sick of training life. By May or June hopefully, I'll be able to get out of there and finally see the real world out there. Tests (law test and scenario based test) is coming up real soon. After that, finally entering Block 2 phase and hopefully start my range soon so that we can go out for attachment.

2. My love life. Hahahaha. Just know its there, yet not there totally.
But I'm happy with her, so that's all that matters =)

3. Family. Nothing much. Just that we have been happier together and less quarrels than before. Which is a good things. Except that I haven't seen my sister for a really long time. And I miss her.

4. Friends. Hmm.. Nothing much about them because most of them don't wanna talk to me. So they're like almost non existant in my life at the moment. Are they really that busy or are they really so ignorant? Sigh.

If you realised that points 2 - 4 is very short. That's because training has taken up 5/7 of my life. Hahaha. That's how lifeless I am now with training almost everyday of my life. But I really do want to complete it ASAP. I don't regret joining, even if I did, I have a principle to stop me from doing that. But I'm rather contented with what I have now. Oh, and I don't miss school one bit. Hahaha!

That's all folks.

Happy Bunny New Year

Here, wishing everyone of you out there.

HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR!!!

Sigh

Sometimes, people just don't treasure the way they used to.
Sometimes, people just forget who are they themselves.
Sometimes, people just forget to appreciate the things around them.
Sometimes, people just don't know what's good for them.
Sometimes, people just think everyone else owes them something.
Sometimes, you just don't feel like people are your friends.

Time

"Time and tide waits for no man"

Ever heard of that quote before? True enough. Sometimes time is our friend, sometimes it turns on you and become your enemy. But sometimes its a matter of how you perceive it that makes it friend or foe. There are also circumstances whereby you wish time was faster, but there are times when you want it to pass slowly. When you are studying, you wish time will pass faster so that you'll reach holidays soon. But when you're having exams, you wish it passed slower so that you have more time to think and write your answers.

Ok, enough of all the bullshit talk.

For now, I just want time to tell me the truth.
About how I feel towards you and you towards me.
How I wish time will pass faster till the next time I see you.
And slower whenever I'm with you.

Children

Since my younger days, I've been thinking about children. The kind of kids I want to have when I grow up. The number of kids I want to have. How'd they be brought up. And all that sort of things. People can tell me, you are still young, find a girlfriend first before thinking about such things. But I don't see what's wrong with planning how I want my future to be like. Just FYI, I don't really like kids. Or rather, I don't like naughty and noisy kids.

Last time, I wanted to be authoritative over my children. Like they need to be disciplined and all. But over the years, I realise that its not only one way to make your kids behave themselves. There are many ways and the more you control them, the more they will rebel. I still want them to be disicplined, but I guess I will use another approach rather than scold or beat them all the time.

Today, I encountered two instances whereby children came into the picture in just a mere one hour. The first one was when a mother was explaining to her two daughters about the many "why" questions her daughter asked. She was very patient in explaining things to her and the words that she say are a little bit too difficult for her daughter's age to understand. But I think its good because it makes her daughter grow up faster and more mature. She even taught moral education to her daughter by saying its selfish for people to put chairs infront of their landed property to "chop" the parking space. She also scolded her youngest daughter for being too noisy but she did it in such a loving manner. Worth learning from.

Another instance was when the children of the shop owner near my house was being naughty by running all about. The son didn't want to listen to the mother and went against her will. The daughter was rude to me when she said "excuse me" in a You-Owe-Me-Something tone. Turn off by seeing such things happen. Definitely do NOT want to bring up my kids to be in that manner.

Of course, both parents have to play a part in bringing up children. One of the parent has to be the angel, the other has to be the devil if they want to balance out the kids. This, I shall leave it to your future spouse and you to decide.

Happy Lunar New Year to one and all!

HAPPY TWENTY FIRST BIRTHDAY EDWIN CHAN!!!

Today, marks the day when I turn 21 years old!
Although I did not celebrate much for this year's birthday.
I think its just feels like any other day.

But that's okay, because I feel contented that so many people wished me.
Which is actually all that I need really.
I don't bother counting all my wishes.
Most of them came from Facebook.
Probably because there's a reminder to tell them its my birthday.

I'm just really glad that certain people do actually remember them.
And they came personally either through calls, SMS or on MSN.
Cheers to all those out there who made the effort to wish me!

And I do hope all my wishes come true =)

I do want to thank someone special for giving me a present,

and being the first to wish  me.

The Eyecandy Story

Initially I wanted to blog about this story.
But I deleted the whole post because I don't know what to type.
Anyway, here goes my story... ... ...

Chapter 1
I met her when I randomly visited this bar/restaurant with a couple of my friends off Upp Serangoon Road. Well, I didn't exactly meet her yet, but I took notice of the new staff who was working there. She really caught my attention at first sight. I did mention to a few of my friends about her, and they mostly agreed that she was good looking. But I didn't look too much into wanting to get to know her, since (if you know me well enough) I am not as courageous.

Chapter 2
So life went on and I didn't really went to think too much about this girl. Other things in life took precede over a girl whom I know probably won't enter my life. However, later on when I went back there after a long period of time, taking a new friend there to try their food, and I realised that the girl I once saw months ago was still working there. Afterwhich, I asked my friend (who wasn't within my age group) to advise me on what if I wanted to know that waitress over there. Speaking out of experience and knowledge on her part, she told me to go there more often, make my presence felt, make her notice me, and slowly start to get to know her. She suggested going there alone for a drink or two, and slowly when the waitress starts to recognise me, strike up a conversation with her. I took that advice...

Chapter 3
Coincidentally, on the eve of Christmas Day, I was upset due to obtaining knowledge about some issues. In the end, I decided to get a drink at that particular bar and took the opportunity to see that girl. To my surprise, she was indeed working that evening. After serving me a couple of drinks, she approached me and asked why I was alone on Christmas eve. After saying because I was upset, she sent her regards and wished me Merry Christmas. At that instant, my heart melted on the spot, like as if the candle wax melted and got rooted to the ground.

Chapter 4
Following that evening on Christmas Day, I went there again on New Year's Eve with some of my friends. Whilst in the midst of deciding where to go, I suggested yet again that particular restaurant, to not only take that opportunity to see my eyecandy, but also because my friends went there before and wanted to try their food again. The moment we reached our destination, guess who appeared? Throughout asking the formalities of "table for how many?", "smoking or non-smoking", she was maintaining eye contact with me! That really triggered my estatic heart. Following that, she asked "Oh, so you are not alone today". That question really started the whole ball rolling. However, due to the fact that I'm afraid of being embarrassed infront of my friends, I decided not to move forward on that very day.

Chapter 5
My estatic heart kept telling me to go back there and visit her week after week. And so, that weekend after New Year, I decided to pay her another visit. This time, with just one, male, friend. On that day, I managed to get her name, school, and also a very (in my eyes) funny question. I asked her whether she would be working on the 21st of January. She questioned if it was an event held at the restaurant, and went on guessing that it was my birthday. When I acknowledged, she went on asking if she needed to buy me a present. That totally cupid-ed my heart that evening.

Chapter 6
This week was no different. I went to that restaurant once again and this time round, I took the step further. I asked her two very sensitive questions: Age and contact number. She gave me the first answer, but later went on telling me to come again on the 21st if I wanted to know the answer to my second question. I have absolutely no clue to what she meant by "you come again on Friday", pertaining to my second question. When I asked about the present she suggested, she gave a cute little smile and said "don't know". I dare not piece the puzzle together in case of false estatic hope. I don't want to need a Cardic ressuccitation any time soon. Well, maybe on the 21st when she surprises me with something, or MANY things. =D

Till the next time my life continues to unravel what lies ahead... ...
I shall end at Chapter 6.
Oh, and if you REALLY know me well enough.
You should know my stories always don't have a conclusion.
HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Nostalgia? Maybe Not

I don't know why. But whenever I see those posts on Facebook. Posts about NPCC, them talking about what they feel, about how awesome the parade or their trainings are, pictures of them, I don't seem like I miss those times at all. Maybe just a little bit, but its just very minute. Other than that, I'm like: oh, this again, boring. Likewise for the pictures taken at the floating platform. BMTC's 2nd Graduation Parade held. I don't miss anything about that, maybe just the people in army.

Maybe I've moved on.
The passion died.
I no longer feel for the past.

I think I feel happier being alone

Ups and Downs

If there's no appreciation, go bang wall and die.
If there's no respect, go flush yourself down the toilet bowl.
Can't be bothered, and shall not bother.
Be happy, Edwin!

On another note, my eyecandy's name is "T....."
HAHAHA.
Hawt!

Bye.

Add on//

Some times I wonder why I care so much.
Why do I bother so much about what happens.
I'm no longer in there.
Neither do the people in there appreciates me anymore.

I dare say I've achieved something there.
Were you any better?
If not, why did you put me down when you weren't even close.
Since you labelled me, I'll label you too.

Maybe R is right.
Times have changed.
People change with time.
The generation has changed.
They don't see how we see it last time.

There's no ending to this.
But I shall put an end to it.
Soon.

LIFE =

Two Zero One One

The start of the new year was spent with Rafael and some new girls I just met. Hahaha. Anyways, all was good yet not so good. Was quite upset over some issues that happened the year before, but forget it, let bygones be bygones. Its a new year so why fret over things that have pass right?

On the bright side, I got to know new friends. And I saw my eye candy. And she recognises me hahahaha. And the new people I just met said she's good looking/hot. Hahaha. Awesomeness. Except that they made it too obvious that I was looking at her.

Happy New Year everybody!
Don't wish to say too much.
Just do what you think is right.
Be happy, and....
Don't break the law!