Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Monday, January 23, 2006
needle porn
knitting needles, that is.
there's a new blog in town - knittedporn.blogspot.com
submit your sexy needle and yarn oriented photos to knitporn@yahoo.com.
full disclosure: my hat is crochet. i hope no one minds.
there's a new blog in town - knittedporn.blogspot.com
submit your sexy needle and yarn oriented photos to knitporn@yahoo.com.
full disclosure: my hat is crochet. i hope no one minds.
Sunday, January 22, 2006
smut vote
i have been writing intensely. although not for blogging purposes. i have submitted pieces to six different anthologies over the last two weeks. whether they will be accepted, who knows? but writing is good. especially writing strong cohesive pieces.
by the way, why doesn't any local store carry albums by the checkers. i spent friday obsessively searching for the lyrics to "don't stop dan" (the sequel to "sixty minute man"). my dad recorded it off the radio when i was a baby so i grew up listening to it, but he couldn't find the tape. i would like my own copy, anyways. if anyone has access, please feel free to burn me a cd. free chapbook!
oh, by the way, please cast your vote on your favorite educated slut story of 2005. this will help me decide which pieces to polish and which to leave behind in the blogosphere.
by the way, why doesn't any local store carry albums by the checkers. i spent friday obsessively searching for the lyrics to "don't stop dan" (the sequel to "sixty minute man"). my dad recorded it off the radio when i was a baby so i grew up listening to it, but he couldn't find the tape. i would like my own copy, anyways. if anyone has access, please feel free to burn me a cd. free chapbook!
oh, by the way, please cast your vote on your favorite educated slut story of 2005. this will help me decide which pieces to polish and which to leave behind in the blogosphere.
Friday, January 20, 2006
the birth of jane
in light of recent self promotion, i thought i'd give you a dirty story from the archives of my journal. this was written on the subway ride home from jane's first adventure almost three years ago.
Yesterday, I had an awakening. After months of restlessness and lethargy, coupled with medication-induced sedation and sleep deprivation, my body decided it was time to try something new. The libido and interest that had been practically nonexistent, minus masturbation whose frequency was dwindling, charged into action.
I wanted to rub up against every attractive biped I passed. The construction workers at the new office caused me to blush. The glasses-wearing dorks on the train induced strains against the thick inseam of my jens.
So I went home, shaved and trimmed, and today Jane Vincent was born.
Jane – because all the coolest characters are Janes. And they are usually best friends and thus allowed more eccentric leeway.
Vincent – in honor of Edna St. Vincent Millay.
The first act of Jane was to establish an email address: the now defunct seejanerunaway@yahoo.com.
She then placed an ad in the casual encounters section of craigslist. Within two hours she had accumulated 70 replies.
She selected three, plus a fourth with potential, and set her dates.
First was Redford, the strawberry blond cutie. 22. Works as an energy consultant. We met in a starbucks. He gave me his cookie (oatmeal raisen with too much baking soda).
A little awkward conversation and a half-assed game of 20 questions later, he selected to be the dom – dubbed “maestro”. I was his dirty little slut sub. Or at least that was the original idea.
We walked back to his apartment on Madison Square Park. Once inside he put on a live album of the doors. Kinda danced and kissed. Biting and scratching lightly. He removed my hoodie and pushed me down on the bed.
He then rubbed himself against my torso. I could feel his bulge swelling. He asked me if I wanted it.
I begged and pleaded. Said “Please, maestro” very sweetly and undid his belt. Just a button and a zip and I slipped my hand inside, cradling his cock and balls.
He wasn’t going much of anywhere so I decided to start topping from the bottom. I took off his shirt and shifted him up to remove his pants and boxers. I then grabbed my pouch, well-stocked with varieties of condoms, lube, and my trusty toys (a bullet, a nubby g, and a plug).
I selected a honeydew condom and dropped a bit of lube in the tip. I licked his shaft, nipping lightly at his balls as I rolled the tip over the top of his head. I then used my mouth to slide the condom all the way down.
While I sucked his cock, I used my left hand to begin teasing his ass. He had told me he had never played any prostate games. His butthole was tight and nervous. Without stopping my blowjob rhythm, I squirted some lube on my fingers and rubbed them together to try and warm it up. I then began to gently massage his tight little donut.
He sighed. I asked if he liked it. He said yeah. Articulate little maestro.
In one smooth motion, I slid his cock to the back of my throat and plunged my middle finger up his ass, curving forward. He gasped then groaned and his eyes fluttered back slightly.
He said he felt like a woman. I said it was just the oxytocin causing the desire for intimacy and bonding. But i sure as hell felt like a man. After providing some minimal oral pleasure (wrapped of course) i had plugged fim, fucked him, rode him through 3 orgasms, came all over him, then got up to pee and left him with his soaked sheets not even knowing my name
Yesterday, I had an awakening. After months of restlessness and lethargy, coupled with medication-induced sedation and sleep deprivation, my body decided it was time to try something new. The libido and interest that had been practically nonexistent, minus masturbation whose frequency was dwindling, charged into action.
I wanted to rub up against every attractive biped I passed. The construction workers at the new office caused me to blush. The glasses-wearing dorks on the train induced strains against the thick inseam of my jens.
So I went home, shaved and trimmed, and today Jane Vincent was born.
Jane – because all the coolest characters are Janes. And they are usually best friends and thus allowed more eccentric leeway.
Vincent – in honor of Edna St. Vincent Millay.
The first act of Jane was to establish an email address: the now defunct seejanerunaway@yahoo.com.
She then placed an ad in the casual encounters section of craigslist. Within two hours she had accumulated 70 replies.
She selected three, plus a fourth with potential, and set her dates.
First was Redford, the strawberry blond cutie. 22. Works as an energy consultant. We met in a starbucks. He gave me his cookie (oatmeal raisen with too much baking soda).
A little awkward conversation and a half-assed game of 20 questions later, he selected to be the dom – dubbed “maestro”. I was his dirty little slut sub. Or at least that was the original idea.
We walked back to his apartment on Madison Square Park. Once inside he put on a live album of the doors. Kinda danced and kissed. Biting and scratching lightly. He removed my hoodie and pushed me down on the bed.
He then rubbed himself against my torso. I could feel his bulge swelling. He asked me if I wanted it.
I begged and pleaded. Said “Please, maestro” very sweetly and undid his belt. Just a button and a zip and I slipped my hand inside, cradling his cock and balls.
He wasn’t going much of anywhere so I decided to start topping from the bottom. I took off his shirt and shifted him up to remove his pants and boxers. I then grabbed my pouch, well-stocked with varieties of condoms, lube, and my trusty toys (a bullet, a nubby g, and a plug).
I selected a honeydew condom and dropped a bit of lube in the tip. I licked his shaft, nipping lightly at his balls as I rolled the tip over the top of his head. I then used my mouth to slide the condom all the way down.
While I sucked his cock, I used my left hand to begin teasing his ass. He had told me he had never played any prostate games. His butthole was tight and nervous. Without stopping my blowjob rhythm, I squirted some lube on my fingers and rubbed them together to try and warm it up. I then began to gently massage his tight little donut.
He sighed. I asked if he liked it. He said yeah. Articulate little maestro.
In one smooth motion, I slid his cock to the back of my throat and plunged my middle finger up his ass, curving forward. He gasped then groaned and his eyes fluttered back slightly.
He said he felt like a woman. I said it was just the oxytocin causing the desire for intimacy and bonding. But i sure as hell felt like a man. After providing some minimal oral pleasure (wrapped of course) i had plugged fim, fucked him, rode him through 3 orgasms, came all over him, then got up to pee and left him with his soaked sheets not even knowing my name
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
mail whore
I now have my very own post box. Send me a postcard. Send me your underwear. Send me $5 with a name and address and I will then discreetly mail you a chapbook.
Jane Vincent
The Educated Slut
PO Box 66153
Houston, TX
77266-6153
Jane Vincent
The Educated Slut
PO Box 66153
Houston, TX
77266-6153
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
take home the educated slut
yesterday, on a creative urge, i put together a chapbook. it features five stories and is a "best of the educated slut". three of the stories are not available online. the other two are a "best of the blogged". it also includes a risk reference chart.
if you would be interested in purchasing one for five bucks (covers my copy costs and mailing), give me a heads up either in the comments or email me at the_educated_slut@yahoo.com. include "dirty chapbook" in the title.
oh yeah, did i mention it is dirty? dirty stories make me happy. how about you?
if you would be interested in purchasing one for five bucks (covers my copy costs and mailing), give me a heads up either in the comments or email me at the_educated_slut@yahoo.com. include "dirty chapbook" in the title.
oh yeah, did i mention it is dirty? dirty stories make me happy. how about you?
Thursday, January 05, 2006
a sticky situation
i'm doing a little research and need your assistance. i am trying to answer the age old question - do pop rocks sizzle in cum?
now, this is what i need from you. go to the drug store, gas station, etc and invest 50 cents in a pack of pop rocks. the next time you jerk off or ejaculate for whatever purpose, please pour the pop rocks in your cum. then, email me to let me know if it sizzles.
i need this information no later than saturday evening. thanks for your help!
warning: never ever ever put pop rocks or any sugar candy in a woman's vagina as it can cause yeast infections. furthermore, you probably don't want to get them in your own urethra (the eye of the penis); could be quite the discomfort.
now, this is what i need from you. go to the drug store, gas station, etc and invest 50 cents in a pack of pop rocks. the next time you jerk off or ejaculate for whatever purpose, please pour the pop rocks in your cum. then, email me to let me know if it sizzles.
i need this information no later than saturday evening. thanks for your help!
warning: never ever ever put pop rocks or any sugar candy in a woman's vagina as it can cause yeast infections. furthermore, you probably don't want to get them in your own urethra (the eye of the penis); could be quite the discomfort.